June 17, 2020

#1 Catching up with Dani Daniels


One of my oldest friends from the adult industry. I was really excited to talk to her for my first episode and have the freedom to discuss topics beyond the industry, diving into art, relationships, careers, and touching on our beliefs. 

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Transcript

0 (4s): Boom. Think we got it. Dani Daniels and the house, everybody on my eye. Thank you for joining today. Food. Of course. So this is like, this is like my first time, like interviewing somebody I've never done it really before. I feel like it's like a skill that needs to be fine tuned. So bear with me. You're like a pro you have like your dinner with Danny show and then your to onions podcast that you have a lot more experience. I don't mind taking your chair. So I have a whole like, list of categories. 0 (47s): Cause like, I always think that you're such a fascinating person and I wanted to like talk about different ones and just like, let everyone get to know you. I guess we can start with like art, just because like you're, I guess one of the, the only act two artists, right? Like an actual artist that's in the adult industry. Not like what we make is art, like that whole thing. So like, what is your creative process? Like how do you like find inspiration for like all of your projects? Ooh, it kind of depends. If I'm doing a show, like at a gallery, I usually pick like a general subject or if I'm doing something that like inspires me, like sometimes I'll do a person inspires me and it kind of evolves into a show. 0 (1m 40s): So just kind of depends on what the project is. If I'm doing commissions, obviously it's dependent upon whoever's ordering them. But I usually try to stick to people that I inspired or it's the people that I like as opposed to just kind of like doing it for the money type thing. Oh yeah. So I like to, I've definitely sent no to the mission before just because I'm like, I don't like I don't buy, but that didn't represent you properly. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So how much do you think that like your art like affects your filming career? Cause I feel like they're they're really related, right? 0 (2m 20s): Like when I started painting again, when I was in for, I kinda like stopped and then I got into porn and then when I started painting and we work the same time, I didn't want to like use Danny Daniels as like an easy way to like get popularity or traffic to my art kind of wanted to give her own like chance. So I actually go by Cara Lee and I'm like, I do sometimes promoted on my Dani account, but I try keep that pretty much separate. Its kind of nice because there's the corn side of me. Then there was the art side of me. So it's kind of like this nice balance that works kind of like with you and cooking, you know what I mean? It's like two different sides. Yeah. And then it's like, at least with me, it's like part of me wants to see if I can like make it happen again from scratch has obviously like you made Dani Daniels happened from scratch, right? 0 (3m 9s): Like you made like this huge brand, like, I don't know. I'm sure a lot of you guys don't understand how rare it is to be successful in the adult industry, but to be successful and then leave and still be successful if it's even that much more rare. So we've already like created this thing and made it happen from scratch. So I think it's like you wanna try and do it again and then it kind of feels like cheating if you use something that's already so big to launch. Right? Exactly. Yeah. People to like my art because of the Danny Daniels name. Cause like they're like, they love you. So they support you and you want like you wanted like an unbiased, like I write exactly. And so for that. 0 (3m 50s): Yeah. And I do have fans that like follow my art and stuff and I do appreciate that, but you know, I try to keep it like when I do shows in galleries, like unless you know, you wouldn't know. Oh no. And like you don't look like it either. Like you look like it's like a normal woman, like very like usually dressing, super classy, like pumps, like you would just never know. I always love that. Yeah. Right. So innocent also. So like when it comes to like art and entertainment, like, so Eric and I just like love like before this full pandemic happened, he loved like stocking your guys's story. Cause you were always like at an opera or at some like insane Michelin restaurant. 0 (4m 32s): And like it's almost like you guys are constantly like, just like surrounding yourself with all of this art and entertainment and like stimulus. So like what would you say is the importance of that like in group life? Like how has that like helped shape you? I've always been like other artsy person. I'm the only child. So I've always been like kind of forced to entertain myself and with I've always been to like opera and shows and, and anything artsy. I love museums actually like select the museum books from her, where we go. And when I met my husband, like we got along great because we have so many things of that in common. So, you know, we go to jazz shows, we go to, you know, opera, ballet symphony, especially the New York Broadway shows, musicals, you name it. 0 (5m 20s): And it's whenever I feel a lack of creativity, whether it's informal or with painting, I always did like, okay, let's go do something artsy, like artsy, I should have a show. Are you going to see something? And then like usually 12 and I cause Vic. Right. And so we both we'll be like just kinda, kind of get motivated, just like being around that energy and, and being around other painters or other artists to just like, okay, like, I don't know what it is or what sparks at me, but Oh, I love that. Probably a combination. Yeah. Like even with porn, like when I'm like, I don't want to shoot, like I got no idea. 0 (6m 2s): It's all like, go see a show. I don't know Chicago on Broadway. I dunno off the top of my head. Okay. I wanted to be like a fish in that seat. I wanted to do something. I wanted to do that. So I like the idea of, you know, giving other girl's the opportunity to have other streams of income other than their t**s and ass, you know, and being able to be creative in a different way. Totally try. And you know, connecting with their fans in a different way. So right. 1 (6m 27s): Because I feel like there's a huge sense of like fulfillment that at least for me, like I always like with like striving for, and it's like tough when you only are expected to do like this, have this one outlet, right? Like you want all, you want another way to express yourself. And we also want to be like validated as like a human. And for some reason, a lot of people take like the humanity away from porn stars. Like you were not a person you don't live, breathe and have feelings. So I feel like a lot of us are like trying to like maybe prove that we, you know, we are able to do these other things and like show our humanity, 0 (7m 1s): Even if you, and I think what you and I had talked about this before, but like, even if we cured cancer tomorrow and be like, Oh, she cured cancer, but she's also a porn star. Right. But there's no way of like becoming just a human being right for you. 1 (7m 14s): No, it's forever. It's like a forever thing. And I think like I saw someone like retweeted, something that Sheree kind of a said that he was saying like, all these girls right now that are strapped for money are joining sites. Like only fans. And they don't understand like the repercussions. Like they think that it's quick and easy money and everyone can do it. And you're not going to be ostracized from like your friends, family workplace. And once everything is over, they're going to get hit with reality. And it's, it's a very tough path. Like I didn't understand that when I went into it, I definitely don't have regrets. Like I love that I got into that. I think it like was my path. But for someone who's just doing it to like put like the electricity on, like, you don't know 0 (7m 59s): When you're getting into paying your bills for a month or two, is it worth a life sentence? You have to be smart about it. It has to be something that you're ready to commit to forever. Right? It's not, you know, this, it's not like you're going to go strip for a weekend and hope that no one takes a picture for you. Right. For you. You know what I mean? It's rare that somebody is screenshot and you know, someone's recording screenshot all the time, you know, doing something. Yeah. And it's never, you're never going to avoid it. Your parents are gonna find out your friends are going to find out. And I'm not saying that its the industry is bad in any way, shape or form because I love it. But its not for everyone. And it's not way you can just like dip your toe into and be like, Oh I hide my face, but now I'm out. 0 (8m 39s): It's like, no, no your soul 1 (8m 43s): Like make it worth it. Make sure you really love it. Or it's like your longterm career plan. 0 (8m 49s): I don't think, you know what should go run and start and only fans and to show their t**s for a week and, and assume that is no way to do no hope that like 1 (8m 59s): People are starting to become more accepting in the sense because you do. I mean only fans, they're our people on there that don't get node, you know, there's, you know, fitness people, influencers, artists that, I mean, there's not as many, but there are there. So hopefully its kind of like kind of yeah. Fingers crossed. Hopefully someday will have a Scarlet letter on her forehead. God, I know. I totally agree. I know you're interviewing me. But do you have any, have you had any issues like, especially like with cooking is how like stripped is that if you want to like be a chef or upper, so it's weird. 1 (9m 39s): It depends on, it depends on the chef and like what his goals are, I guess, because I've had some like pretty famous chefs that like openly follow me that are openly fans that when I show up to their restaurants, like I'm treated like a King. Like they just love it and they don't care. So I think like they get to kind of be like rock stars a little bit or they're like allowed to like be a little deviant, but then there's some that are like, Oh, well I would love to do a show with you, but, and I'm like it's Snoop Dogg can be Martha Stewart sidekick. Okay. Okay. Why can't I right. Okay. Way worse things that I have done. 1 (10m 19s): Like that is just maybe not on camera. You know what I mean? No, I totally, totally. But even with Twitch, we did, we did like an auto show, the New York auto show a couple of years ago and we were live streaming it and we had like some like, you know, D list. I was definitely the most famous person there, but like some delist celebrities and like one of the guys was like, I didn't know like what she did, make sure you cut. Every seen that we were in the same room together, like at a public event, like just didn't even wanna be seen next to me. And I was like, good luck buddy. And he was like a musician. I was like, what happened to like that? 1 (11m 0s): It's like, not everyone has to jump on the train, but like that's about that extreme. I was like never past her. Right? Like there's girls. There was like the trade models there that are in like scandalous outfits. I'm wearing like jeans and a sweater. I'm like, but that's okay. I think if you're going to have your stance, like it just needs to kind of be like across the board and you can't say, well, sexuality is okay if it's here, but sexuality is not okay if it's here. Right? Like it's just like kind of just choose. I don't know exactly. I totally, that makes sense. You said it perfectly, it's like you can't choose like, Oh, well she doesn't have a name, but she's in pasty, so that's fine. Right. 1 (11m 41s): Like I just, you're still selling the idea of sex. So it's just, it's the same thing at the end of the day, you did mention your awesome husband that helps you with all of your ideas when it to obviously like our line of work and I don't even think it's just necessarily adult work. Right. Cause like, obviously, but it takes us a special kind of person. If you're not in the industry, like a civilian to marry or date someone and they're like, you have to have like a lot of confidence. But I think also when you have like a very driven woman in general, like, especially if she's entrepreneurial and just like just her own boss and she is like, as financially successful as like you are, what have you guys learned about being married together and about like not to like boost each other up and not necessarily to compete with each other? 1 (12m 29s): Like how do you have like a healthy, strong, like marriage when both of you are entrepreneurs and both of you are like these very like strong headed. Okay. 0 (12m 37s): The visuals it's funny because usually it's like, you think like one person would be like the Dom roll in one for some of your, like the sub, like the husband, wife, even if you're a same sex couple. But yeah. I mean, Dick and I are both very much like the masculine role on the relationship. And I'm not saying that in a sense of like, Oh, that's like a little b***h. Like he's not at all. But I think it's really graceful the way he can be a husband and be a strong partner. But he can also, he also knows when to like, let me read. And he doesn't like sacrifice his masculinity, you know, if I do better one month and he does better another month, it doesn't mean anything. 0 (13m 18s): It's where an actual, I think it's like, we're an actual team and one of us is hurting. The other one picks up the rings, you know, and vice versa. You know, he's had these great moments and I've had these great moments and no matter what, it's, there is not something where, Oh, and my wife is doing so amazing. I'm not a good, I'm not good enough. Or, you know, I, I should be doing better. It's like, no, just celebrate that your partner is doing great. He, a team don't be in this competition of who's the dominant head of the house. And I think it's partially that. And partially, you know, because just like naturally not a jealous person, he doesn't care that I do porn. He doesn't care. 0 (13m 58s): You know, that I've taught thousands of people and he, if anything, it gives him more confidence. Cause I want to be with the PIM and we can communicate about everything. I tell people all the time, I'm like any relationship problems that you have some problem be solved or fixed with communication, or you'll find that you're not for each other, but the more you Hi more trouble you going to get into. And even if you feel embarrassed, even if it's, I wanted to explore something sexually, I'll f*****g tell him, you know, even if it's embarrassing for me, I know I can come to him and tell him anything. And he will listen to me and Tate and, and not make fun of me and get through it with me. So like, I guess like, do you think that's just a couple words to talk to you to say, 1 (14m 43s): Yeah, that's where he draws up the line and he draws the line, 0 (14m 47s): The line. It's so funny because like so many people see through my social media and he's always like this grumpy dude. I love I'll be old man, but in real life that he's actually just like this really nice guy. And he just hates social media. It's the same way though. Okay. 1 (15m 5s): Everyone always thought that Eric like hated me and they're like, they must have a really horrible marriage. Cause Eric is always scowling or like yelling at me to turn my phone off. Like, no, he just hates social media and I'm constantly like getting it in a space. 0 (15m 21s): It's the same effect where like he would never tell you not to do it, but if you involve him, he's going to be like that little kid like dragging his feet. I don't want to do this. Exactly. 1 (15m 31s): So would you guys, do you think we have a couple of questions? Do you think that it's like, just like your, your personalities that's like made the relationships? So he, like, I don't wanna say easy to see the relationship is like easy, but like just make it work or do it, has it been like you've had to see Kali each other out on shortcomings and like work on growing together to tackle issues or is it just there's is work. 0 (15m 58s): I think there's like, there's like levels of issues in a relationship. I mean we genuine generally we're I think, I think relationship, marriage, whatever, 50% sex and 50% compatibility, you can't have one or the other, in my opinion. And people can say like, Oh, what if you're not having sex? But that is still sex compatible. You have two people that are f*****g and their cool, but there is still fine. Right. And so you have that. And then, so that was the compatibility it's do we have issues? Of course, like every couple has issues. I mean, are they each huge red flags that I'm ignoring? No, we fight. We argue if we disagree, but we also communicate again. 0 (16m 40s): So if I f****d up and with the chief all come in, you know, when I pulled down and be like, I'm sorry, that was really fun. I'm really f*****g rude. Or if he does something that I don't like if vice versa, but you know, there's definitely a tour three. We're not fighting about like you fought to the housekeeper, you know what I mean? Like you're not, he's not having like a fair side. It's like, you leave your f*****g dishes in the sink and I want to punch you in the face. 1 (17m 8s): Right. But for some people that's like a very real thing. And I think especially right now with like a lot of couples, aren't used to being around their significant other for like this amount of time. So you see like a lot of issues that are going in with like, you know, please phone calls and hotlines and what have you. So like coming from someone who works from home and does spend a lot of time with their partner, like traveling and like, you guys just have like that really close intimacy that a lot of people don't have. Like what advice would you give couples that are newly experiencing like this amount of time together and like, realizing like it's not as easy as they thought it was going to be. 0 (17m 45s): I think that you should marry your best friends or be your best friends. If you don't want to get my, whatever to each their own. Because of my best friends, like I have very close friends with. He was by far like my ride or die, best friends are hanging out with him. Never gets boring. It never gets tiring. I never want to be away from him. I never want space. And I don't mean that in like, Oh, you should spend each and every second together, but I never am that woman. That's like, I wanna go have a girls trip to get away from my husband. So I wouldn't have a girls trip to hang on with my girlfriends, not to like ditch the ball on chain. And I think that's important. And also, you know, he Vic's the same way. So we're compatible in that sense. 0 (18m 27s): You know, I have another friend who hit her and her partner are very much compatible, but they need space. They can't be in each other. They just personally need time alone again, that works for them. So right. But if you get into a partnership where one person wants to be all up in your face and the other person wants space, you're going to have some issues. And again, it's like, you know, communicating, I'm not mad at you. I don't want to not be around you, but I need time for myself. You know, I need a day for just me, but if you don't communicate and you just go somebody or go weave, and then they're sitting at home stewing thinking about like, why don't they want to be around me? Oh, the relationships over, Oh, I might as well go cheat and texting to the other house because no I'm going to be around me. 0 (19m 8s): It's just like spirals. So totally right. To be like all the attention. 1 (19m 15s): Yeah. And I think for me, I totally agree with the best friend part. Cause Eric's the same way with me. Like, absolutely like either I'm not closer to anybody on this earth than I am with him. And for us, like I think the communication thing we had to work on, I think I had very bad role models growing up as to like what a healthy relationship was. So I was just kind of like doing what I had been seeing, like as a child and like not really making my decisions just to kind of like a little programmed robot that was like acting as I thought I should. And then finally, like Eric is just like, just like a star child. Like he's just not from this planet. So he like is, I've never met anyone like him, but he's like, wait a second. 1 (19m 59s): Why are you acting like this? Like, are these really like your core beliefs and your thoughts? Or are you like conditioned to think this way? And he challenged like fundamental like belief systems that I had at that time. Right. Like I thought I was the most jealous person on the planet. I was like that crazy jealous person. And then I had to like ask myself, like, why do I have these thoughts? Like, what do I want from a relationship? Am I happy with this? And then I kind of learned, like to use my words and it's okay to be mad, but its not okay to be mad and throw something and you know what I mean? And then the more you discuss these things, you'll actually like unpack that you don't really have a lot of the beliefs that you thought you did. 1 (20m 43s): And all of a sudden, like you discover yourself in a new way and you discover your partner in a new way. And I think that's when you truly like connect and I think 0 (20m 51s): What do you go? Hmm. I think that's important. Like, you know, and your relationship, your vision of a person. Perfect. Sorry. First relationship. Perfect relationship might be different than mine. There's no right answer. Totally. It's just like what you were saying. It's like you grow up and you think like, Oh I have to get married, buy a house, have kids have two kids, have three kids, have them go to college, you know, stay at home, don't stay at home, whatever. And it's like, but we'll that make you happy? If the answer is no, then that's not what you should be doing. You should be doing, you know like, like victim. I don't want kids, you know, I don't, I don't like children. I'm not a mother. We person like, even if like Vic is going through something, I'm not motherly. 0 (21m 33s): Like I wish I was, but I'm just not that person. Right. And so having kids, like it's just not on the table press. And that doesn't mean that we're doing a relationship wrong. It's just neither of us want them. He already has to do that. Our adults, he doesn't want, we want to go through it again. And it's just like, you know, and, and you, you just had a baby, you know, it's like, and that works for you. So it's just identifying, you know what it is. And I've been through similar things where like, I've done something. I'm like, Oh, that's not what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to be doing this and like fixed on the same thing where he's like, yeah. Is, is that what you want? Or is that just you can condition to thinking about what's right. 0 (22m 15s): Right. 1 (22m 16s): We feel, I feel like obviously not making the decision to not have children is more rare than not. I think some people just pump out kids because they think like that's the next step. And a lot of people do it to fix our relationship or a lot of people do it to feel complete. Like there's a lot of wrong reasons to have children. But for some reason we don't question that we question the woman that makes a decision to not have them. And I feel like a lot of like society like bullies then did you like have, I don't know, did you have those experiences? Did you have people that were like with like, Badgery going to be like, well, why not? Or are you sure there must be something wrong with you? 0 (22m 53s): Yeah. Yeah. Like when my size of my family is very small on both sides actually, but it was like between me and my cousin. And it was like, if one of us don't pump out a baby, then that's it. And the whole family was like pressuring. At least I don't know her experience, but at least questioning me, like, what are you going to have? You know, when are you going to give me a grandchild? When are you going to have a baby? When are you going to get married? And I'm like, I don't want this. Right. Like not for me. And you know, even like my fans and I use that in quotes because it's one of the rudest things I get on everyday basis is when are you going to have kids? Really? Are you going to have babies all the time? Oh, I don't know what it is. 0 (23m 33s): But like I get a lot of guys like email messaging me whenever I do that when I, they always ask. And I'm like, first of all, one of I physically could not have children. What if I had a condition that didn't allow me to like, have a baby, like the mental model? Like, why would you say that to a woman? You know what, if you don't get this f*****g fit, like the public doesn't know that until now, but sorry. It's so incredibly rude to me to be like a suit that, you know, I don't, I don't consider myself a feminist, but then I'm going to sound very feminist to assume that we're on this planet to do nothing but suck Dick and breed. 0 (24m 15s): Babies is far from offensive. I wanted to own businesses. I wanted to invest. I wanna travel the world. I wanted to be with my partner. I don't want, I don't want kids. Right. And people can't fathom. That was just like, Oh, well, you know, you're not, you're not gonna to have a baby. Yeah, totally. Which is crazy because I think that people project that because that's like their reality, like they didn't spend the time to get to know themselves to follow their journey. That was the thing to grow up in a country. That's very like repressed that, you know what you grew up thinking as, right. And if someone else isn't doing what you think is right, they must be involved. 0 (24m 55s): Right. Otherwise it, it makes like your, your choices invalid. Right? So it's like, one of us can be right. Not both of us, which I think is so crazy. It's like, we also have this idea of individuality, which means that nothing can be the same. Like every relationship is different. Like the one that you have with yourself and your partner is going to be different than like your neighbor or your best friend. And its, we have like these like little cookie cutters that we keep trying to force everyone in. And then wondering why like people are so unhappy. It's if you kind of have to like make tweaks to make it very much like for you and for your partner, otherwise it's just not going to work. Exactly. Exactly. Crazy to me. 0 (25m 35s): I'm going to get no communication. It's all about the communication. I no. And why is that so hard? It's like, I, I feel like I wasn't properly communicating anything until my mid to late twenties. Like it's like a very new skill for me to no longer give a s**t. What people think. I think when you're younger, it's still like in your head. That's probably important. Yeah. I've worked at my husband's 50. Like he doesn't care. He's like, I'm old. I'm going to s**t. Like I don't care what anyone thinks of me and I don't care. You know? W where we got together, like I live in that mental space close to that now, but it's hard. It's hard to stick your neck out. Especially if you like the person you're talking to, you know, to put yourself out to me, I was like, here's all the cards from the table. 0 (26m 21s): What is it that fear, fear of being like turned down or broken up with or not wanted to know. So I had some like, I guess like worldly questions. So if you had like a life philosophy, because we kind of touched on it, like, what would your philosophy be like on life? Always do what makes you happy? As long as you're not hurting anyone. I like that. Do you believe in faith? Not a religious person. Do I believe in fate? I believe, I believe in fate in the sense that I believe that you can make up this best things. I love that as I'll be in a scent in the fact, like, I don't think that if I sit here and I meditate for three days, I'm going to teach myself to fly. 0 (27m 8s): Right. But I think I can focus my energy on certain things. And if you stay negative, your life's gonna be revolving around the negativity. If we say positive because the positive. So I guess it's going to sound really like hippy white girl. But before MC and I got together in, before we even met, but I had actually been meeting, but I had manifested my perfect partner. I hadn't got out of a really bad breakup. You knew this story. I just, I just literally like spend every day, just like getting manifesting, just meditating, visioning what I want to partner down to like look for what they do, where they live, their background, their core values. 0 (27m 48s): You know, if people look at a partner, like I want to do that. If we live, he was like, okay, but it's the guy like the serial killer. What's the core, you know, what, what to look to skate. So I'm going to be compatible. And so I, I constantly, constantly, constantly, and because everything, everything I imagined, except for, I wanted to brunette and he was a Burnett, we lost all his hair, so I'll take it. 1 (28m 14s): Right. And that's, I finally get so crazy. Cause if your, into like the whole idea of manifestation, like you have to be so specific because the thing that you leave out is like gonna show up, right? Like that's like a good example. I've had it happen before they say, if you're trying to manifest something like I'm with the partners, like, let's say, you're trying to get a house together. If you don't have everything lined up together, it's just not gonna happen. Cause if he wants like a log cabin and you want this like super contemporary house, like you guys, aren't actually asking for the same thing to have like that. 0 (28m 52s): Exactly. Exactly. Like when we got this place, we both are thinking about like, what do you want? We have so many debtors that we would sit down, just talk about like, what do you want to place? Like, what's your group place of like, you know, especially like this period of time, I can't say like, Oh, I want to buy a castle in the middle of New York. It's not realistic. Right. And so you have to stay realistic and you know, stay focused on what it is, you know, you're after. 1 (29m 16s): Yeah. It's really cool. So are you doing anything for the full moon? 0 (29m 19s): I usually, I do like out the candle of candle stuff. I'm like, I'm like witchy light. I love it. Like, I don't take anything. I'm a big deal with your gut person. So if my dad says like, take a bath, like two handles and have a bottle of wine, or if you want, I'm going to do, you know, I want to release something, I'll go something. If I wanted to bring something in, I just kinda don't really like abide by the rule. I just kind of do what, like my gut tells me if I'm just feeling like stressed out about something, like, okay, what's the bothering him. Maybe I'll like, write it all down and burn it. Or, you know, that's one of my favorite things similar way. Yeah. I don't know why I wanted to, 1 (30m 1s): It feels like magical when you're, when you're actually setting these things that you're trying to release on fire. Like it just, it's a very therapeutic, like, even if you don't believe it, like I just, yeah. 0 (30m 10s): Encouraged. Yeah. I think there's something just like very powerful, no matter what you believe in writing something down that you want to let go of, whether it's the letter to somebody or just like bad traits that you're just tired of having and just, I think, yeah, just burning it. It's like very symbolic. Right. So what about your, do you have anything? 1 (30m 31s): Okay, so I was, I needed to cleanse all my crystals cause I haven't done that in a really long time. And I bought like a couple of new words. I'm so bad. And I'm like, Oh, like I need to like refresh my energy in the house. I wanted to do that. And then I wanted to do something with Eric just to, because like being new parents is like very hard, like balance doesn't exist. Right. Like then the TA Dow I think says like bowel or balance is always striving for balance. Like that is what balance is like, because the actuality of it, 0 (31m 2s): Like isn't real, 1 (31m 5s): The striving, like we're off on. Like, it's just like, there's not enough time of the day. There's not, there's too many things that are trying to like pull our focus. So I wanna try and do something to like connect with him and maybe like try to do some manifesting, work together. 0 (31m 18s): My favorite things to do with Beth. And we do it like he's super depressed. He actually got me into festivals. Like he's really early into it. But when my hair thing to do is we will sometimes sit down together and like write down a list of what we're grateful for. And either like put it under a candle or, you know, like just put it under somewhere to put it away somewhere. Or if you want to burn it and they're like go positive way, whatever feels right to you. But we don't read them to each other. It's just personal preference. But I think just like doing it, like kind of like, I've always noticed that like three sets my day or, but the next day, if I'm like getting in a phone and I'm like, okay, here's all the things that are like amazing about my life. 0 (31m 58s): It's kinda hard to complain, you know, right off the small stuff. When you have so many, the, even if you do like a pros and cons list, I love doing gratitude where the thing, I think it's like, I'm very listy. 1 (32m 13s): No, I am too. I'm very type a, so I love a list. Like I live for our list. 0 (32m 17s): I like the satisfaction of crossing it off. Like yeah, like a mini org in the free time 1 (32m 24s): We do something similar. So we'll do their, like the gratitude list and do the candle or we'll do M things that we're trying to manifest, but we don't look at each other's manifestations. Like we keep that private. So we'll like ball them up or fold them and put them under a candle. And it's just like, I dunno, like obviously you can believe it 0 (32m 40s): Or you can not believe it, but at the end of the day, like how you feel is real. And we both just feel so like positive and refreshed and just like, like it's like a clean slate every time. So it's like something I wanna try and do every time stress builds up, you know, or with anybody, if you're going through life and you're just one stressful thing. And then another is just starts to all pile up. I think that's like just a way to like release everything that you have a million things to do. And you're like, Oh God, I have to go grocery shopping. I have to figure it out. My car needs work. I can't afford it. How am I going to afford it? You know, whatever the problem is is, but it's that if you would take like the pros and cons, the cons are this big and you're like, okay, I'm happy and healthy. I have a partner that loves me. 0 (33m 21s): I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat. I don't have to worry about, you know, paying my rent next month. Right. Reset. So to speaking of that, I know it's so rare. I'm like very smallest of friends that I can like really say like crazy s**t around. And other people are like, what are you talking about? I'm sure some people watching this and they're like these b*****s with no, but like try it, like just try to try doing some gratitude, journaling or Mitt, like meditate with like a crystal. Like it's just, it's a different experience. It just does. And, and also like I had a friend of mine, I won't say to him because he'll make fun of me. 0 (34m 5s): But I had a friend, a guy friend that's very like East coast who was like, do really believe in that crystal s**t. And I'm like, yeah. Do I think that if I buy crystal a million dollars, I'm going to end of on my doorstep tomorrow? No. But if I carry something in my pocket, it could be anything. It could be my headphone case. And I'm like, okay, I wanted to get this job. I'm going to do everything possible to get this job and putting my pocket every time I feel that it's going to remind me to do the work, to keep my energy positive and what I ultimately wanted to go. Right. So that's how Eric looks at it. 1 (34m 41s): He's like that. Yeah. 0 (34m 41s): The matter is they they're magical per se or not. It's all the intention. So like if you're holding onto this crystal and like your intention is to have more confidence every time that you see it feel it we're reminded of it and you are going to have more confidence. So it's just a psychology at the end of the day for all of you disbelievers. So like when it comes to like success, like how, how do you measure success? And then like, what is like your personal like perfect world? My perfect world is now to be not to be like, that's great answer, but I definitely am in a place where I am perfectly happy. Do I want to keep growing? 0 (35m 22s): Of course, but I'm, I'm very happy and content and I love my life. I love my partner. I love my dog. I love everyone. That's around me, my friends and family that I've chosen. I'm like the end of very good space at the moment. I would probably measure on happiness kind of going back to what I was saying with like, people think that like, Oh God, if I wanted to be a little bit of help, if I won the lot of tomorrow, its kind of hard to be like, okay, somebody said that it was like, you can't not smile on a jet ski. No, of course. You know, if I get a bill on this tomorrow, I'm going to go and talk to the trial to the world is super stoked and I'll be happy. 0 (36m 3s): But if I don't have a partner or a friend, you know, there's still underlying down the loneliness, you know? Yeah. I wanted to do something that I can't do or so money isn't everything. And I think a lot of people judge success based on money. I think, you know, success comes from happiness, safety, just being in a place that you've have you worry, that is going to answer. So I'm going to see if anyone had any good questions for you and then we can do like your shameless plugs. Umm, so for all the mods in their, do we have questions that you guys were gathering that were good during this little interview? 0 (36m 51s): I love it. I also like I totally have a plant owner. He was like one of the few ones. It's just like thriving. He was living in the best life. Do you believe your ready for the questions? Do you believe in like a bunch way? Like the nine to nine grade and stuff like that. So our house is pretty much set up like that and I feel like it's worked for me, whether it was because like my mindset, like wanting to believe it. And then these things started changing, but like I have like certain crystals, like very specifically like throughout the house and like I have my work desk very specifically in an area I had. It's so funny. So Erica's going to kill me and may have, you can just post the questions here in the chat. 0 (37m 36s): We were going through like a bit of like a sexual funk and I was reading the book that you suggested. And we had our Roomba and our air filter and like a bunch of other like electric objects in our love corner. And they were saying that's like a huge no-no because that creates like a cold space, like in your romantic life. And I was like, Oh, romance is dead. Is because the room was in the wrong corridor. Lost your g*****n minds. But I moved the Roomba and guess where the magic happens. And so you tell me, Oh, okay. 0 (38m 19s): Yeah. I think its also like symbolic. I was like, I want to fix this problem. Let's reorganize. Let's look at it from like a fresh eyes, you know? Definitely. Totally. I'm the only thing I'm really into punctuate. I actually, part of the reason we picked this place is cause it like lines up correctly. 1 (38m 40s): Okay. So someone wants to know your favorite painter. 0 (38m 45s): Chuck close my eyes. I'm a big Dolly fan. This is actually a gift for back for our first anniversary. But I loved Dali. I loved not the Dalai, his, but I love impressionists. He was kind of more have a surrealist, but check close is by far my favorite its kind of hard to explain is art. You just got to Google. It he's a new Yorker. I was like, literally like walk the streets, hoping that I see him one day because I will geek out. But he does. If you look at his art, you'll understand where I draw inspiration from because when he does his, like the grid's the painting, well his later stuff is early or stuff was just very photorealistic. 0 (39m 27s): But his lady was set up for like read a painting and like a hundred squares and each square is an abstract painting. And then so you look at each square and they're like very cool apps, project compositions, and you step back and it's a portrait and it is the coolest that you've ever seen. Why to be sounding. Yeah. Yeah. He's a goal. Like if I live a lot of, I would just fill in my house that was art. But yeah, 1 (39m 54s): I wish I knew more about artists. I just like, I like see stuff. I like, and I try to follow people like you, that post stuff that you like. And then I'm like, that's how I get educated. Oh man, this is cool. 0 (40m 4s): That is art school. And I, I have a little bit of art history, but honestly like I get most of it from just like going to museums. Like I only know artists that I like, there's an artist. We have a piece of Paul Rubens. He was a street artist in New York. And like he takes ink and just like does like contour, like contour line drawings on the sidewalk. And you would only know him if you lived here. Cause you walk around all the time and you see his f*****g name everywhere where we try to cross the g*****n street. So that's cool. Kind of just like, I don't know, like you mentioned artists and I didn't like them. I would have no idea who was so don't feel bad. 1 (40m 45s): Someone wants to know how we both handle rude comments. 0 (40m 51s): Depends on my mood. I'd like to say that I'm very mature and I ignore them and take, you know, but to be honest, if you catch me camming and I have had a couple of classes of wine, I'll probably roast you. I love those videos. A little bit of immaturity still in me, but I try to just ignore it. Block them. I'm a big blocker. 1 (41m 20s): I am too. I tried to do that instead of responding. 0 (41m 25s): Yeah. Same. I don't. I try not to respond on like Instagram or someone like leaves a comment. But if someone's like doing it live like favorite Harry Potter character and why? Ooh, snake things. My absolute favorite. Yeah. I'm going to tell you why me. Okay. I'm slithering. So I instantly liked him when I first started reading the books. I thought he was a major villain like everyone did and I always wrote for the villains. So, and then so when he turned out to like actually just be like spoiler alert, madly in love with Harry's mom and didn't have to love. 0 (42m 13s): And like you do this like double play agent s**t. Like the characters, like so in like deep that I was just like, yeah, he's by far my favorite, but I also love of Oh and now I'm second guessing. Okay. You tell me why you like save and then I'll see, I'm like, Hmm. So for me I'm Hufflepuff, which at first that was really upset about. But now like I fully owned it and I'm like, well of course I'm a Hufflepuff, but the reason that you don't like them, of course you're right. Of course. It just, it's the only thing that would have made sense. I love it. 0 (42m 53s): Friends are helpful puffs or they really I've never met another couple path and Oh my God, I'll text you after you're going to eat out. When you see how many people are. Yeah. Please remember to do that. Cause I feel like alone on this Island. Okay. So I like snake, snake. I don't think why is it my favorite initially until like I understood his character all the way similar to you. Like he's so complex. And like, I think I relate. Cause I feel like he's so misunderstood even the end. And I'm like, Oh my husband's like, the saddest sad is like, here's your story? Right? Like it's like, no one got him. And he's really the good guy. And everyone just like paints him in a particular way and like shoves him in this box and like that's where he's got to stay. 0 (43m 38s): So I think like for me, like I just like can empathize with that. And I always kind of like, like the, I don't know, not like necessarily the underdog, like the guy that you want to like just a group for that, like a little bit sad and lonely just because like, that's like how I grew up. Like I was always picked on like growing up. So I just like, I can relate. I was like, I get it. Okay. I get not having friends when they showed like the flashback to him growing before you figured everything out. When he showed him to bring a bomb, they have like the vision. I was like, yeah, I just fell in love with the deck. And I liked that guy. So that goes off of me. 0 (44m 20s): F**k someone up. But yeah. Then it was just, yeah, I'm also, have you seen the ad? I was debating on whether to bring it up because like arguable for like the Harry Potter nerd dumb. But like I love making any because I've seen the fantastic piece with these. But initially when I watched, like I didn't register anything, but when I started watching the fantastic bees, I rewatched Harry Potter and I like Nikki and me a lot, which was great. The snake has snake. Oh yeah. I love the fantastic these for movies. Like I can't wait for the next ones to come out, which hopefully is obsess. 0 (45m 0s): But as the hopper happened to me, I just liked all the animals. Yeah. And let me screen as question really quick. I just to make sure its not a bad one. I'm going to get your baby. One of those Mandrake outfit, lilies. I want him to dress up like that for Halloween. Oh that would be so few. What's the key to having a healthy functioning relationship. Especially like if there's a jealousy involved, Johnson's tough because I feel like jealousy comes from insecurity and I can only answer for myself, but I don't want to be with someone that's insecure. 0 (45m 44s): It's hard. I'm sure you understand this. Like being in our position where we're very much like a powerful woman and we're in the industry, we're evolving sex and everyone wants to f**k us. And everyone wants to put their Dick in our mouth and we walked the street and people come up to you and you're like, I've jerked off to you so many times, like you can't you with someone that's insecure, you have to be with someone that's to care. And like for me, whenever I would eat for lunch with any jealousy came up, that was maybe to some people would be like, Oh One it was like a 10 for me. And just like an instant mega red flag. Because I don't, I don't know about you, but like I can't, I can't, he was, I can't have the date. This isn't an easy job to have no. 0 (46m 25s): And I can't have a day in this job already and then come home to a part of the jealous. No, I agree. You need like a, like a really solid support system. And I've been in relationships where you have to think like, if I work with this person then is it going to be a fight when I get home? So you're now sacrificing your career for someone and it's just, it's just bad jealousy. Just, it just ends up. I don't recommend it. I don't recommend it at all saying it's you know? So if you don't feel secure in your relationship and you feel the need to be jealous, it's probably not the relationship for you, but in my opinion, amen. 0 (47m 6s): Which is a really blunt thing to say. But no, I totally agree. I think its like for some reason we're expected to control all of our emotions, right? Like an adult. But when it comes to jealousy, it's the one socially acceptable behavior where you're allowed to act out and not have any repercussions. It's the other person's fault because you can't regulate, which is so crazy. Like if you were to like punch somebody because had an issue, you'd 1 (47m 30s): Get arrested. Like if you were to uncontrolled, we start crying all the time. Someone would say that you probably need to go onto medication or talk to a therapist or whatever. But like when, if it's jealousy, like that's allowed to run rampant for some reason. 0 (47m 43s): But I never said that. I like I I'm not a game player, not the person in a relationship that like wants to play games. Like, you know, I don't, I'm not going to like, not talk to you for a week or be petty or text my ex for fighting or trying to rile you up to start a fight. It's just not like seen. And I I'm, I'm not into that at all. And I feel like jealousy will lead to that. You know, you acting out to get attention because you're upset about being jealous and it's just, Oh, I agree to not attend. Don't recommend just leave me. Maybe we should consider your partners jealous. Maybe you should stop and think maybe you're not giving your partner enough to make him feel or her to feel secure. 0 (48m 30s): Whether it's like attention or love or maybe you guys don't speak the same love, like, which is like maybe he wouldn't or she wouldn't feel that way if you were giving them more, not to a point where it's toxic, but you know, sometimes if I had been ignored all day, I wouldn't say jealous, but I'm going to like in a bratty mood. Right. And they realize is that he's like, Oh, okay. And like spends time with me. And then I'm fine. So, you know, in small doses of jealousy, that might be like a quick fix. I dunno. Okay. 1 (48m 58s): But I love that you brought up love languages because so Eric and I took that quiz and we have very different love languages. So I feel like that's probably the case with most people and you, we would never know unless you like sit down and like ask her what makes you feel like loved to seen the film in this relationship? Or you could just take an online quiz, but like for him, like he likes like a lot of like verbal cues. So he like likes me to say, I love you and compliment him. And like, for me, like that doesn't do anything for me, like personally. So I don't think to do that with him. Like he could tell me I'm pretty all day, but that doesn't make me feel like happier. 1 (49m 39s): Like I'm more physical. So I wanted to be cuddled or have my hands held. So, and then he doesn't do that a lot because he's verbal. So knowing what your partner's love language is, is so crucial because then you know, like, okay, I need to spend more time doing this. So it's not second. 0 (49m 55s): Yeah. He treated me Epic date night idea of bottle of wine and the love language books. And you guys just both take the quiz and we will understand so much about each other. Definitely. We love it. Definitely. 1 (50m 8s): Okay. Okay. So shameless plugs, where can people find more? Dani Daniels where can they follow you? 0 (50m 14s): Okay. You can't. We were talking about the fashion. You can go to shop beauty box.com M and actually having a huge sale right now. Cause I'm getting ready for like new stuff, but I'm going to be amazing, like the bra size and stuff that we're talking about. So like a lot of stuff has 50% off. You can, by my husband's book, he actually wrote a book called wait for the corn available on Amazon. That has been the Gillian five star reviews. And he's like, I only even 12 people that read the books, look, we don't know. So I'm going to ask you to like it, but it gives a lot of relationship advice and like talking about jealousy and talk about that. A lot of the stuff we kind of touched on, anyone's watching this and they just don't. They want to read more. He did a really, really good job. And I'm not just saying that cause my husband, because of it sucked, I was totally f*****g tell yourself. 0 (50m 58s): Yes you would. So, and then you can follow me on tick tock, 2 million followers on there, right? Yeah. It's just, I love to talk. That's like been my jam lately. So you know, and then like AKA Dani Daniels for everything else. Yeah. If there's a blue check Mark, what's her folks. Exactly. If not, don't do it. I'm done or scans. Yeah. Well thank you so much for joining me. I had a lot of fun. So for someone that doesn't how to interview, you did an amazing job. Thank you. I equals that's all I needed to happen. I just had to pretend to be professional for an hour. 0 (51m 40s): It was like we, we were on the podcast and I'm like, I just picked it to be sending out with you. I've been right. I missed like girl time. Like we were using New York all the time and like that obviously isn't going to happen for like a while. So this will be like the next best, but to actually text to this. But when all this is over, I'm coming out there and I'm crashing one of your phone and, and dinners. Cause like I watched and I'm like, they're so fun. There is so fun. Me and my hippy girlfriends. He would love it. I'm going to be literally just not, but here's the crystal, you got a crystal, you have a crystal ball and I know you're making some bomb food, so I'm definitely going to go. Yeah. It's just a win win. 0 (52m 21s): All right. Well have a good night. Thank you so much for joining. I love you and talk to you later and go follow all of her social with everybody. 2 (52m 35s): Okay.