#108 Abi Fernandini - Motherhood, Why your Panties Matter, to Circumcise or Not?

0 (0s): I wanted to talk about Forever Chemicals and because I'm like, well what is a forever chemical? You hear that term thrown around and then I found out it's in pizza boxes, which I thought was interesting 'cause you think that that's just cardboard, but totally. It's in pizza boxes, popcorn bags, sandwich wrappers, fast food, tampons, tampons. 1 (17s): It's a 0 (18s): One crazy. 1 (18s): Why is 0 (19s): It in a tampon? 1 (20s): I, I was dealing with some autoimmune issues after I got a particular shot. It was 0 (24s): So bad. So bad. Did you do all three? 1 (27s): No one. I got got 0 (28s): One. So I did two and I had a pretty gnarly reaction too. I listened to your recent episode on circumcision. It's 1 (33s): Like an epidemic in the us it like, it just became like the thing majority of countries, like most Europe, most like of South America, they're all uncircumcised. 0 (43s): It really started getting pushed during the Victorian era because they thought that masturbation and sex were the reason to blame for everything, right? Like you, it would make you go blind. It was the reason that you were sick. It was the reason that society was falling apart. So they said if we desensitize this part of the male body and they even were doing to some females that will cure everything, there are plenty of them that still do female genital mutilation and that's part of their culture and part of their religion. So do we say that that's acceptable because it's part of their right. And I say no, 1 (1m 11s): We know that Placenta are worth crazy amounts of money. This is medical waste that then gets sold to biomedical companies. To cosmetic companies. And then you have crazy celebrities like Oprah Winfrey I'm pretty sure was one of 0 (1m 27s): Them. It's in her favorite cream. 1 (1m 28s): And the parents are thinking that this is medical waste. Sandra Bullock was like, she gets the penis facial with like literally neonatal, fibroblasts Stem cells from foreskin of children. Parents will never know that this is actually what's happening on the backend. Right? It's like it's insane. 0 (1m 49s): Hello everyone. You are listening or watching Chatting with Candace. I'm your host Candice Horbacz. Before we jump into the episode, make sure you hit that like and subscribe button. It helps us beat the algorithm. So any little bit that you can do is very much appreciated. This week we have the lovely Abby Fernandini joining the the show. She is the chief pot star chief executive pot star content. She used to be the content director for the health institute. She hosts the Journal of the Body podcast, which I highly recommend you guys check out, add that to your download list. And we debated whether or not using the word wellness influencer because like that could be taken a couple ways. But she is a great follow on social media. So let's jump in. 0 (2m 30s): Let's jump in and do this thing. Let's do it. What's wild is when you start feeling terrible and then you say, how much water have I had tonight? And you're like, wait, I had three literally I've three cups of coffee and a Celsius zero water. So maybe I should start there. I had 1 (2m 46s): To switch to decaf because I was getting crazy anxiety from the caffeine postpartum. Mm. Like that was like a big shift for me 'cause I was like, I, I don't know. I just all of a sudden postpartum, I think it's just your minerals are so depleted. And I was like caffeinating on top of that. And that can also kind of cause mineral depletion where you're just peeing a lot 'cause it's like a diuretic in some ways. I felt like I was like literally needed to be on anxiety meds 'cause I was having such bad anxiety and it turned out it was solely from coffee. Wow. And I was like, okay. I believe now that like coffee can actually cause like some of these crazy symptoms. 1 (3m 26s): So 0 (3m 27s): Well a lot of things. Right? I loved watching. I was like, I wish that you got pregnant before me. I do because I was doing like, I was reading all the crunchy stuff and then I was trying to find like a happy middle ground. Everything's, yeah. And then some of it, like you don't have an example ahead of you. All you're doing is reading and you're not seeing like someone prepare the food or prepare it like I bought you have influenced me so much. I don't think you realize. I'm so 1 (3m 51s): Happy to hear that. 0 (3m 52s): I bought one of those prana mats after I saw it. It's like the Regina George and when Regina George had this thing, no. So I bought one of those mats when I started you using it and then I switch, I'm trying to switch out all of my Panties to organic. So I bought that one 1 (4m 6s): Bread that has, that has made the biggest difference ever packed. Was it packed? Meet the label? I don't know which one. 0 (4m 11s): It's like the pre like the really pretty like the high brief higher 1 (4m 14s): Loyalty. 0 (4m 15s): Yes. I got those. 1 (4m 16s): I love her stuff. She's like local to my area and she started it as like a small business and 'cause she's, she's got a couple different businesses and I was like obsessed with their cuts. I was like, these are just the most practical Underwear ever. Like I'm long gone. Or the days where I like am like, I don't know. You know you get, I used to go to Victoria's Secret for like the six for like 15 and it was just like such a bad era of my 0 (4m 41s): Yeah. But they were so cute. 1 (4m 43s): They were so cute. I just need, we need like cute Lacey. Like we need like cute Lacey organic cotton Underwear. I don't know who is, 0 (4m 49s): She has one pair of thongs that are pretty, 1 (4m 52s): I haven't gotten those. 0 (4m 53s): Yeah, so it looks kind of like the hanky pinkies. Okay. Are you familiar with those? It's those it stretches and then they don't crinkle crinkle so that you can wear 'em under like a tight dress. Those I think it's coming. So I guess for people that don't think it matters, like why should we care what we're putting on for our Underwear? 1 (5m 11s): Oh my gosh. Like okay. I didn't have this realization until recently. So it started out with, I have super sensitive skin. I am like the type of person like Hormonal acne the last two years. Like Pregnancy Postpartum. Like it's been a journey just to like get it under control. And of course like doing things internally tend to really like showcase differences. Like when you're looking at like the external side of things, especially when it comes to skin and skin is like heavily tied to the liver in traditional Chinese medicine. So I was kind of going down this rabbit hole of, okay, I really need to, I really need to like figure out what some of my triggers are. 1 (5m 51s): And one of the biggest things that was causing me so much problem was I was a, I worked for Lululemon for a little bit. Like I was a Lululemon girl. Like in college I worked for Lululemon and I just, I realized that I was paying for like polyester plastic, like dropping hundreds of dollars on like polyester fabric where my like sweat would smell like different when I wore it. Like I would get like kind of weird, like just kind of like rashy. And that was like my first indicator for myself that I may or may not actually be allergic to some of the fabrics that you, they were using. 'cause they were doing like all sorts of different, like new material. But it was all just derivatives of like, it was all just derivatives of polyester, which is petroleum derived. 1 (6m 37s): So it's, it's not ideal. And so I went down this rabbit hole, found out that I was allergic to a lot of these plastic fabrics and then I realized that they were causing pretty much all my UTIs that I was having. So like I was wearing like Underwear, I would wear these tight leggings and I would like come down with like really, really bad like UTIs randomly here and there. And I was like, okay, there has to be a link here. So I switched like I personally made the switch and I was like, okay, let me just see like is it gonna change? Like if I wear cotton Underwear, if I wear cotton leggings, if I wear like jeans, like things that are more breathable, like breathable, is this going to change the way my body's reacting? 1 (7m 18s): And lo and behold, like these leggings that are plastic are bacteria like proliferators. Whoa. They just, they literally like, it's like the bacteria just proliferate and it's like one of the main reasons I'd see chronic UTIs and a lot of like girls that I would talk to and you'd just like make a simple switch and it was like, oh, it's because they're not breathing at all. And, and it's just, yeah. So, so 0 (7m 45s): When you were doing your research, is there, is there any like proof that let's say you don't wear Panties at all and you're wear and I know a lot of women that don't. Yes. Especially when they're wearing the leggings. So you put on these petroleum leggings Yeah. With no Panties and you go do a hot yoga class or you're just running around all day, right? Is is that being absorbed through the vagina? Because obviously that, 1 (8m 7s): So here's what I'll say about that. Do I think that there has been any funded studies that will actually specifically target like the vaginal region and like confirm that it's being absorbed? I highly doubt that like there's been that many, if any studies that have confirmed that. But what I will say is if you piece together what we know about the sweat glands and our pores, we absorb everything because the skin is our largest organ. And when you look at a more sensitive area, like the vagina, it is one of the most absorbent like pieces of our body. Like in it's the sacred womb. 1 (8m 48s): We, you know, you, you think about things when you do yoni steams and a lot of these different practices, it's because of how absorbent like the, like the layers are in that one region. So when you think about like the sweat glands and you think about our pores and how they're actually meant to detoxify those regions we're detoxing when we sweat. But when we open up our pores, it's, it's really important to be aware that we also do receive things in. So if you are wearing sweatpants that have P FFAs, so polyflor ale substances, which a lot 0 (9m 22s): Of, I'm glad you said it 'cause I just had the, the letters written down. I was like, yeah, yeah. I'm just not gonna even attempt to say that word. 1 (9m 27s): It's, I honestly had to practice it a few times 'cause I got into a few conversations and I was like, I probably should know like how to like pronounce it. But like it's, it's so interesting how many brands have been called out for it. Sports brass. And if you think about sports bras and how they're right, they're tight in the region where you have the most amount of like lymphatic glands, you have lymphatic glands right around your pelvic region. Like those are all very important areas when you're looking at detoxifying and when you're looking at the sweat. And, and there it smells differently in these regions because it is one of the main excretory like regions for like the lymphatic system. So you also will receive and the pores will open and you will take in things. 1 (10m 12s): We know that that's studied, that's fact. Have we studied if the leggings are causing that, probably it's coming. Mm. But it's not something that's been well enough researched yet. So I think that that's really interesting. And also you think about how often are you worried about your food being heated up in plastic microwaved It's stored in plastic in the stores. You're like constantly thinking about your food and how it's been stored in plastic or I don't wanna drink plastic water bottles 'cause I'll be ingesting microplastics. It's like, well you're literally wearing, might as well be a condom of plastic. 0 (10m 46s): Yeah, like yoga, like just covered in it. Literally just 1 (10m 50s): Like a plastic polyester like and you're sweating in it. You're going to hot yoga. Yeah. Like it's really hard to, I don't know. It's really hard to be dogmatic in the health space because if you're gonna get so caught up in one thing of your food being impost, then you should get caught up in the other areas too. Right. 0 (11m 8s): Try to minimize it where you can. 1 (11m 9s): Yeah, exactly. It's like don't be, you can't be dogmatic because there are so many regions that need to be improved that if you get like too hyper-focused in one, you're just forgetting other areas. So it's like, do what you can, do the best you can and make little switches that like help you and and work for your body. 0 (11m 27s): Yeah. I was trying to look up some PFASs 'cause I wanted to talk about Forever Chemicals and I'm like, well what is a forever chemical we don't like you hear that term thrown around. And then I found out, obviously it's in the Lulus, it's in pizza boxes, which I thought was interesting 'cause you think that that's just cardboard but it's, it's in pizza boxes, popcorn bags, sandwich wrappers, fast food, tampons, tampons. 1 (11m 49s): It's 0 (11m 49s): A big one. Crazy. Why is it in a tampon? I, that's a great question. Floss. Yes. And almost 40% of all tap water and for if you don't care enough yet folks, it can actually make your package smaller. Yes, yes. Which is what I found out 1 (12m 5s): It, it does make your package smaller 0 (12m 6s): So people's like care about, it's 1 (12m 8s): A testosterone killer. Like Yeah, it's no. And also in receipts, like have you heard of the receipts? Like BPAs, PF Yeah. So like receipts like are like a big thing that people touch all the time. Mm. And again, if you think about like absorbent regions in the body, like fingertips your feet because you Detox like in these regions and traditional Chinese medicine, they correlate to like different things. Like yeah you constantly touching your receipts. It's like another way. So 0 (12m 33s): What do you need? Just say I don't want away, 1 (12m 34s): I don't want a receipt. I'm literally like, I don't need it, I don't want the receipt. I'm good, thank you so much. Or I'll like be like, you can send it. I, you know, I hate junk mail but I'm like, I'd rather if I have to get a receipt, like send it to my email. But again, you pick and choose like what you wanna like focus on and like try not to be dog. Like I try so hard not to be dogmatic 'cause it's like we're all just out here doing our best picking like what we can, you know, figure out what works for us and I don't 0 (13m 2s): Know. Well you also don't wanna get into a place where everything is an existential threat. Yes. And then you become a hypochondriac. So I'm sure you know Dr. Joe Dispenza. Yes. He's talked about people that have come to his workshops and they eliminated everything, every like toxin, every potential like chemical poison and they're still wildly sick or have a really bad autoimmune issue that no one can figure out what it is. Yeah. And he's like, well you're approaching the world like everything is going to harm you. So of course like your body is on high alert. So it's, it's this like fine line and dance between okay, I'm gonna remove what I can but also I'm not gonna walk around the world with like gloves and a mask and a bubble. 0 (13m 44s): And oh, 1 (13m 45s): COVID was such a, out like an ouster for not only people who were like extreme germ, like germ freaks, but also for the holistic health space. The, like I, I keep using the word dogma, but the way that people became, I feel like online in the health scene was also so unhealthy because it really just showcased the two extremes like you're talking about, it's like yeah you can remove all the toxins. We could argue about terrain theory versus germ theory all day. But these two different groups of people are sitting on such extremes that they're both like suffering from insane chronic illness because yeah, they can't live a normal life without this crazy fear like hanging over them. 1 (14m 30s): And I think I got like that a little bit at one point because you know, when you like suffer from like an illness of some kind and it seems like very, I don't know, I, I was dealing with some autoimmune issues after I got a particular shot. It was Gardasil and I had, 0 (14m 47s): It's so bad. It was so bad. So bad. Did you do all three? 1 (14m 51s): No one. I got 0 (14m 52s): One. So I did two and I had a pretty gnarly reaction too. I had 1 (14m 54s): High liver enzymes to the point where my whole body was like swelling. And I was like, the only thing that makes sense is that I just had this shot and like my body is trying to Detox and, and liver enzymes obviously correlate 'cause the liver has 500 functions. Its main responsibilities are processing things like pharmaceuticals, things like fats, proteins. Like it's got a ton of different functions but of course like something like a vaccine, it's gonna be what it, it's used for. And I just had a terrible, terrible reaction. And that was like when I first started the journey, but then I got a little bit too gung-ho and I think it like, like kind of like swerved me into a place where I was like, wow, like you, like I couldn't even like go out and like eat normal things or like do normal things with people because I was so caught up with, oh but does it have this in it? 1 (15m 51s): Or oh like what time are you guys doing that? Like I need to go to bed. Like stopped living. Right. So it's, it's interesting 'cause you kind of like, you have to find the balance and it takes a few years after you like, I don't know, find your, your space and, and you like it. Like you like I loved the health scene and I love the health scene but definitely goes further. 0 (16m 13s): Yeah. You can overdo anything. Yeah. Really. Yeah. Yeah. So when you talk about toxins, some of the pushback that some people say are your body is designed naturally, like speaking of the liver to get rid of toxins. So when you see people that are pushing a certain protocol program elixir that they have white labeled whatever it is and you're like, well first like what is the toxin? Like so can you tell me a toxin? And then when do I need to add something to like supplement what my body's naturally doing? 'cause right, people talk about sauna a lot or specifically infrared for getting rid of toxins. And then people are like, it's not toxins, it's sweat dummy. But like we, you do lose some stuff through through your sweat. 0 (16m 54s): You do. And we do know that. So how much do you think is kind of a scam or like maybe certain people taking advantage of like this whole Detox Culture. Totally. And then when do you know to add something and what is something in your experience that's beneficial? Yeah, 1 (17m 9s): So that's like a really, really great question because I think like I've had to hyperfocus on my liver because of some of like the issues that I've like had in the past were very much so liver related. And I'm a big fan of traditional Chinese medicine. So like the body like contains qi and different organs contain different energies. And for me the liver was always the problem. And it can be so easy when you first are starting to get, like you said, get caught up with, oh this detoxes your liver and this and that. And something that I had to realize is that there's two, like, there's two sides of the coin. It's like yeah, there's the people that are screaming your liver detoxes things for you and then there's people that scream like, like a million different ways to Detox. 1 (17m 55s): And so I was kind of like, I think when you first start you're just like, wow, I don't really know how to unpack all of this. But what I read was I read this book and it was honestly amazing and it was called The Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Flesh by Andreas Moritz. And there's some philosophies in the book that I agree with and there's some that I don't. But the premise is, okay, if we were functioning in our ancestral way, sure the liver does an incredible job of detoxing and removing and if we have enough minerals in our diet and minerals, counterbalance, heavy metals and these other things, they work on balance beams and minerals, work with other minerals on these balance beams. 1 (18m 39s): If we were living in our ancestral reality or, or like I guess ideology, we would have a functioning, well performing liver. But if you look at the way that people in the western world live, it is completely incompatible with the liver's design function. It's, it's impa it's, it's impossible to ask the liver to do all of the jobs that it's required to do. And so I think that that's where we get lost is we can look at the spectrum and say, well the liver's designed to do this. Well great, okay, if you go to Eastern Asia or if you go to remote parts of this place, maybe the liver is doing a great job, it's doing what it's designed to do. 1 (19m 22s): They don't have many problems. Very few like non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, unlike in the US where we have an epidemic of like non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. And it doesn't make sense. So the reality is, is that western culture, we are drinking terrible water, we are eating terrible food. We are like the average American is is on something like four plus pharmaceuticals, like, you know, by the age of, I don't even know the, the statistic and I don't wanna like mess it up. But when you think about all of the things being on birth control since you were 14, like I was on birth control since I was a teenager, same like for a long time. Those are all things that the liver is responsible for. 1 (20m 4s): Like metabolizing, breaking down and excreting and ultimately excretes out of, you know, the lymphatic system, your ex expiratory processes, things like sweat, things like urine, things like stool. But if you've got gut problems, you're dealing with things like IBS colitis or your chronic constipation one, you're not actually removing those things once the liver has maybe metabolized, maybe it's getting reabsorbed into the body. Maybe you're dealing with hormone Imbalances, which the liver also has a huge role in getting rid of excess hormones during female cycles. So excess estrogen, like maybe you're dealing with these, the, the liver just feels exceptionally overwhelmed and it does not have a way or a place to put all these things because maybe other processes in the body are not also optimally functioning. 1 (20m 53s): And so it's like one, if you live in a western culture, detoxing is a wonderful thing and it's like how do you Detox, right? Like what is the right thing? Like you said, and this is kind of where I go, is in all other cultures of the world, people are fasting, people are doing water fasts. Yeah. You can get caught up with juice cleanse and say, yeah, they're bad. Yeah, they're good. Oh they spike blood sugar. Oh they this, oh they that. The reality is, is that other cultures all over the world are fasting. They take time. It's a, it's a, a spiritual ritual. It, I mean depends on which religion you're looking at. They'll do water fasts, they'll do, you know, certain fasts. I really actually like bone broth fasts where you're like, you know, it's like maybe a bone broth cleanse where you do it for like four to five days and you're drinking nothing just but that, yeah maybe lemon water, some other like facets. 1 (21m 44s): But like we don't do that here and we don't parasite cleanse here either because we're Western and we don't think that we catch parasites. So we're just like left to all of these things accumulating in the body. And so like I said, this book that I read, the Amazing Liver and Gallbladder Flush by Andreas Moritz, there's things that I really like about the book and it explains all of the other systems and processes in the body and how the liver can impact those things. So even things like red eyes, even things like IBS colitis, it talks about what happens with the liver when it's not optimally functioning and, and then, then it gives you a protocol for how to detoxify. 1 (22m 26s): And like I said, there's a lot of liver cleanses out there and I'd say in traditional Chinese medicine one of the best things that you can do is go for herbs that support the liver instead of like rushing right into a cleanse. Because I think that, like I said, there's a lot of cleanses out there, some of them are bss, some of them are, you know better. But all in all you just need to take like gradual steps when you're looking to do something like this. And so starting with herbs is like kind of the way I would do it. It's like you take things like milk thistle and dandelion, you drink them in teas, maybe you get them in capsules and you start a general like a gentle cleanse and you make sure that you're getting enough minerals and you're getting enough sleep and you do the basics first. 1 (23m 10s): You don't go and jump into a cleanse. 'cause if you're not getting enough sleep and you're not eating correctly and you're not drinking clean, great mineralized water, like your body is not necessarily always gonna respond well to a cleanse long term. I 0 (23m 24s): Was gonna say, is it gonna, is there a potential, if you go from zero to a hundreds, say hundred percent you're a normal American diet so you're fast food, it's just, it's all bad, right? You're bad sleep, you're overstressed this combination of things and you just go straight for like the most extreme clean cleanse. Can you just have a dump that makes you really sick? Yeah, 1 (23m 43s): I mean that's the reality is like when you're doing any of these types of things, whether it's parasite cleansing, I'd say like maybe liver cleansing potentially. 'cause when you do a liver flush of sorts, you are also going to parasites live in the liver. Like they live in liver gallstones and heavy metals are in that, all those things, right? So you can have something called a herx reaction whenever you Detox in any form. Mm. And hers reactions can happen for a wide variety of reasons. And that's why it's like really important to take things like kind of step by step and try to like get the five basics first, which is like clean water, clean food, good sleep, making sure you're exercising and then making sure you're managing your stress and like having good relationships and stuff. 1 (24m 25s): It's like do those things first and then let's talk about like protocols. If you are like having chronic illness and dealing with those types of things, then we start with like the different herbs and introducing the tinctures and like see how your body does adjust like accordingly. And then, oh now that I've gotten to this place, now let's see, do I wanna try to go for a, like a flesh like Andreas Morris teaches? Do I want to try to do a bone broth fast where my body kind of where you almost, or a water fast where you just kick it into cellular autophagy where you, your cells kind of, they basically just have turnover. You have cell turnover and, and that really helps for cancer prevention, parasitic activity, liver, all of it. 1 (25m 13s): It just, it's a general reset. And so I always say you don't really need a lot of fancy protocols to do cell core is great. Like that's a good protocol for if you're looking to liver flush parasite, you know, all of that stuff. Their, their protocols are great but like you don't need to get caught up with a lot of what's on the market 'cause it's 0 (25m 30s): Bss It's really interesting that a lot of people are talking about fasting specifically if you have active cancer as a way to try to like reverse it and get rid of it. Yeah. But it, no one talks about that if you actually go to a hospital, they're like, oh well we'll just do chemo. And obviously like it's, it's insane that has worked for some people and a lot of people, but they don't approach it from any other angle. It's just the really hard hitting Kem like radia radiation. And one of our friends, like he's been battling cancer on and off for a really long time and if you go into his house, it is like all trash food. Yeah. Like you, you need to like give your body what it needs. It's insane. Especially right now it's well 1 (26m 8s): What they don't tell you too is like, okay, you know what I hate, like, do you wanna know what I mean? 0 (26m 15s): Stomach? 1 (26m 16s): Oh my gosh, I'm gonna 0 (26m 17s): Get so much flag for this. 1 (26m 19s): What I don't love is the culture and a lot of dieticians do this. It's the culture that's like, there's no such thing as a bad food. There's only like how you consume it and your portions. And that's not true. Like I will go on a pedestal Sodas bad for you. Like, I'm sorry. Like I, I can't stand the culture that's like, like this there, there's this very like, and again it kind of goes into like the other categories of like fat shaming and some of that stuff. But there's this movement in the nutrition space and like the dietetic space more particularly. It's like there's no such thing as bad food. Well yes, yes there is. 1 (27m 0s): It, it's again, the dose is the poison. You're very correct in that. But if you're looking at the majority of these think products on the market, it's bad for you. Like it the way that your body reacts physiologically speaking after you've consumed that food, it's not good. Now again, don't wanna like demonize like those people who are like for example, trying to heal certain parts of themselves when it comes to food and eating disorders. We all eat bad food. Yeah. We all eat bad food for us. Like that's, there's no question like that. Every so often I'll have a slice of pizza or I'll, you know, go off and you know, have like a really big thing ice cream like whatever. 1 (27m 41s): But to say that there's no such thing as bad food is kind of harming in the long run because when you're looking at like things like chronic illness and how you want to approach it, it's like it needs to be whole food. It needs to be a very specific way. And if you look at the way these Foods impact you, for example, if you're a cancer patient and you're going and eating Cheez-Its and Cheetos and Processed packaged Foods that have zero water content, what 0 (28m 7s): Are you doing? 1 (28m 7s): You're dehydrating yourself even more. You are going to proliferate disease just as fast like, you know, faster because hydration is such a big piece. Actually this is such an interesting subtopic, like hydration is such an interesting concept in American culture. 'cause less than, I think it's like less than 19% of our water comes from our actual diet. Whereas if you look at Asian cultures, I think it's somewhere upwards of 40, over 40 plus percent of their water intake comes from their food. 0 (28m 39s): Is that including like soup and broths, soups, 1 (28m 41s): Broths like yeah they, they are very like very focused on rices and like all of these things that hold a lot of water content. And then I think of like the American diet and like the number one thing I always think of is it's always missing water. Yeah. It's always missing water hydration, beef jerky as a snack. Like even though I love beef jerky, but like you think of all of it, it's all like dehydrated Foods and that's like what everybody's living on. So it's, it's a very much so going to really sway the checks and balances in the body with minerals and all of that stuff. 0 (29m 16s): So many people don't drink real water. I yell at my husband's parents all the time because we'll have a deer park downstairs. Like, can you just drink real water? What you're doing right now is actually flushing out minerals from your system and you are going to be more thirsty. I know it's, and I have great water downstairs. Don't let this stuff fool you. I usually have like mountain valley but they haven't delivered it. Yeah. So we have Evian because I try not to do the plastic either, but No, but we live in an imperfect world. Right? Exactly. So here we are in my plastic water bottle. 1 (29m 43s): It's like, it's like so funny. It's like kind of like the dog mode, right? It's like okay, we can talk about it all day. There's things that we're gonna like do because of the conveniences of life and it would be more stressful for me to go drive outta my way 20 minutes to get X, Y or Z. But ultimately, yeah, the water is a big one. Like 0 (30m 0s): Start there and see how you feel's. A huge, did you see that there's, what is her, like the glucose goddess or glucose 1 (30m 7s): Yes. Glucose goddess. 0 (30m 8s): Yeah. So she was saying, and I am not a scientist, I'm not a doctor, I am a lay person that just has an interest in health and wellness. Yeah. But she was saying that there is this misinformation campaign when it comes to aspartame and these Artificial Sweeteners and she said obviously they're not great for you that they show cancer in rats. So that doesn't necessarily mean that they're gonna show cancer in PE in people. And then the amount that you would have to drink is pretty much impossible to consume. Mm. And that the actual real soda with real sugar is worse for you than the diet with the Aspir team. So what is your opinion? Because that seems wrong. 0 (30m 49s): I don't know why. And again, I'm a lay person so I could be the idiot in this situation, but it doesn't seem right. It's okay. I'd rather have the real sugar. 1 (30m 59s): I'd rather have the real sugar too. Now I always take it back to, it's a, oh it's, this is a tough one because there's a guy named Lane by lane on Instagram, I don't know if you know him. He, he went in on her about this particular topic and was basically like, well actually several topics, but he was counteracting and I wish I had like what exactly was exchanged because it would really add to this conversation. But this is my thought about like nutrition as a whole. Aspartame turns into formaldehyde in the body. Like it has a chemical process that it basically converts into said chemical and from, from what I've read. 1 (31m 44s): And so there's that, that always lays in the back of my mind when I think about things like aspartame. Now when it comes to real sugar, my whole process is the human body is designed to run on sugar, fats and protein that, that's mic drop, that's like what we run on. So if I'm having excess sugar day in and day out, yes. That will cause a metabolic issue long-term. But if I am a person who rarely picks up a Coke. 0 (32m 19s): Yeah. Like once 1 (32m 20s): A year I amm cooking up a coke once a month. Yeah, yeah. And I'm looking at a diet Coke versus a regular Coke. I'm You bet your butt. I am freaking picking up. I'm like, I was gonna say, can I swear? 0 (32m 32s): Yeah. Anything is 1 (32m 33s): On. I like, you bet your ass. I'm picking up the like diet coke honestly. So I like, or no, you bet your ass. I'm picking up the regular Coke. Yeah. So I think of like aspartame and I just can't wrap my head around. The chemical exchange occurs and my dad is like an addict for diet coke. So addictive. 0 (32m 53s): I hear that too. It's like the people that get on Diet Coke addicted, it is like addictive real addiction. It's addictive. And 1 (32m 59s): They'll, they will defend it like it is their like life on the line. Like I have gone into so many arguments with people who are addicted to diet Coke and I'm like, dude, we're just having a conversation about a food that I don't really think is that good for you. And they're like, well the studies say, and I'm like, well who's paying? Who's the studies 3 (33m 15s): Funded? Yeah. Who are the studies 1 (33m 17s): Funded by? Like is it the food and beverage? Like is it a beverage association of sorts? Like who is it? So yeah, I, I per, I personally would be picking up the regular Coke and I 0 (33m 27s): Would too. Okay. I'm glad that 1 (33m 28s): I would probably be eating a steak with it to try to like maybe blunt my insulin 3 (33m 32s): Response like, but 1 (33m 34s): I, I can't, I cannot get with the aspartame crowd. I 0 (33m 38s): Can't. No, it just seems like a bad idea. And I mean it's totally anecdotal, but I was, so my mom was a bodybuilder growing up, so people automatically assume then that meant that she had a great relationship with food and that she was super healthy and knew nutrition. Like it's usually the opposite if you run in that crowd because you have, especially as a woman to get that lean, you're not necessarily making healthy decisions. So I grew up thinking everything had to be light, fat, free diet, this diet that. Yeah. And I was on this major health kick. I was dating like this Jim bro and everything. 1 (34m 14s): God, we've all gone through that phase. I pretty 0 (34m 15s): Sure we've gone through the Jim bro. 3 (34m 16s): I literally had that Jim bro phase where I was like 1 (34m 19s): Dating a guy with a gym. And I just like, I was like, now I look up and 0 (34m 22s): It was like your whole personality. It 3 (34m 23s): Was my whole personality. It was a CrossFit gym. So it really was my whole personality. I was like, ew. Yeah. Like 0 (34m 30s): I guess it's like it builds character. It does. Dating a guy like that builds 3 (34m 33s): Character in more ways than one. 0 (34m 37s): I'm a stronger woman for it. But like everything was Processed and I looked great on the outside. On the outside I was lean. And then one day I woke up and I couldn't get outta bed fatigue and I looked pregnant, like my stomach was so swollen. And I went probably a year before they figured out what it was. And then I had like the massive onset of endometriosis and then PCOS and then a couple years later Graves disease and Oh wow. Yeah. And I, no, my diet like maybe didn't cause it. Right. Might have maybe we don't know. But it definitely kind of like turned it on. 1 (35m 14s): Turned. Yeah. You know what I mean? Well and that's the thing, right? Like it's, it really just takes a few environmental, 0 (35m 21s): Like stressors. Stressors 1 (35m 23s): To hit a boiling point I like to call it, where it's like a threshold that then just like sends you over the edge and, and that's like, it, it really like, it's a compounding effect because it's not like just the p the, you know, the polyflor ale substances in your water is gonna like send you over the edge one day. It's like, no, it's like 30 different things that ended up combining in a perfect storm. And now we're here like having, you know, these issues with autoimmune and it's so many people that like have that similar story. 0 (35m 55s): Yeah. Way too many. Like way it's insane. Like everyone knows at least probably two people that have an autoimmune condition. Like that's not normal. And then you have to look at when did it onset and then look at your habits that were forming around then and your stressors. 'cause usually they'll say, you know, your, the gene might be there. We don't really know if autoimmune, but like something kind of puts into gear. Just tumors. 1 (36m 14s): I have gotten really into this particular form of like medicine, it's called German new medicine. At some point you're gonna have to look it up because it's 0 (36m 24s): Yeah. And 1 (36m 24s): Write it down. Yeah, you need to look it up because it's very fascinating. It's iger, it's German new medicine or Germanic new medicine. And it's all about conflict resolution. So if you've heard of the book, the Body Keeps score. Yeah. It's, it's really based on this German doctor created at Hommer. I think his name was, he's brilliant. Like if you actually get into the, and I am by no means an expert to talk about it, but if you get into the weeds on it, it is exceptionally fascinating on how the body works and how like some things can trigger one person versus some things like don't affect that person. And it kind of takes, I, I won't, I won't do it justice like explaining it. 1 (37m 8s): So you'll just have to go down the rabbit trail. But it's all about conflict, conflict resolution in the body and traumas that can get like exacerbated by environmental, like condi, like environmental stressors and triggers. And it's so fascinating. I've gone down a rabbit hole. Like people for example, who struggle with acne. There was at some point in time something called an attack conflict and it felt like they were verbally getting attacked or maybe they like had like a, like a, like some sort of falling out and they felt like they were literally getting attacked and the body ended up creating an like an epidermal layer, an extra epidermal layer where their skin cells don't shed us fast. 1 (37m 54s): Right. And then they start dealing with something like acne. And it's like the attack response, conflict resolution. If your body doesn't actually identify the trigger, different things may trigger it. And you end up with this like extra epidermal layer and then you start getting acne and it's literally a defense mechanism that your body builds. And it's the same thing with like, things like weight gain. And it goes through all of these different like types, a sneeze, like, like a sneeze. A sneeze is like, it's like a, some a conflict that was resolved. It's, it's like I, I'm going to butcher it 'cause I'm like not an expert in it, but a sneeze is like, something like triggered you like a past memory or something and you had like a sneeze effect and it's like a conflict resolution that the body's trying to wipe clean that memory or something like that. 1 (38m 47s): Weird. I don't know. And you can resolve conflicts for other people around you. So like, things like yawning, it's like, it kind of goes around and there's all these like crazy explanations. Anyway, go down that rabbit hole. It's, it's very like, that's very one off, but you have to look into it. It's pretty 0 (39m 3s): Cool. Oh my gosh. Well I guess this is a good transition because we were talking about trauma and how like the body keeps the score and these ideas that early early experiences can have a long lasting effect on your psyche and your body. Yeah. And some people think it's woo woo, but there's enough anecdotal evidence out there that it kind of makes sense. And they have done studies, you know, with like, and my audience has heard this, but maybe someone hasn't. It's when they did the study with the rat, the rats or the mice and to the mother, they would introduce an electric shock and then a cherry blossom scent. So they associated the pain with the cherry blossom. So the pups that came out and they would smell cherry blossoms had a reaction like they were anticipating pain. 0 (39m 48s): That's so interesting. So interesting. So that through epigenetics, we know it works there. So it's not crazy and it's not as woo as it kind of sounds. No, we, I listened to your recent episode on circumcision and I was really excited that you were talking about it because I think that for a long time most people thought it's just something that you do right Of Right. It's no second thought to it. Oh my 1 (40m 11s): Gosh. It's like an epidemic in the US it like, it just became like the thing, 0 (40m 16s): It's just the thing. And then you're, we are taught to shame people that are intact. Yeah. And that's gross. Ew, why didn't you do that? Yeah. But then you realize that a, a third of the world is cut. Yeah. The rest is not, it's so, it's actually not normal. 1 (40m 30s): No. And I learned that. Well, okay. Right, talking about religion, it is the oldest surgery in the world, right? Like that is what circumcision is. It's like one of the oldest surgeries in history. And it's so interesting because I started dating my husband, I started making friends from other countries. I realized very quickly that the US was a very small fraction of what is actually happening in the world. And that majority of countries like a most Europe, most like of South America, they're all uncircumcised and have zero problems with it. And also when I met these people would make jokes about how every like us kid, like it was like the US is like, that's the thing. 1 (41m 18s): And they were like, it's not really one way or another. I mean, if you're religious about it, like, and you wanna do it, that's fine, but like, it's really just like driven 0 (41m 26s): By insurance. So you're, you're more accepting than I am with that. So I, I got myself into a rabbit hole and I actually learned a lot from your podcast that I didn't find in my own research. But I always thought that it was to keep it clean and to help with infections later. And STDs and I was listening to this podcast, it was Alex Clark's spillover and she had this guy, I love it. Did you listen to that? Yes. So he was saying, so to circle back to trauma p there's a conversation around something as simple as sleep training. And that will get people up in arms. Like that is gonna ruin your child, your child into adulthood. So if something is non violent as that and then you compare circumcision, which is no anesthesia, it's not a very quick procedure. 0 (42m 17s): No, there's a good amount that do have complications after this guy was like 1 (42m 21s): 25% have complications their 0 (42m 23s): Rera, which most mothers would have no idea. Yeah, 1 (42m 25s): No, it's because it's like non informed consent. 0 (42m 27s): Not informed consent. When do we ever get informed consent? And really not often, especially As a woman going through like Pregnancy, you rarely get it. No, but he was saying that when a boy gets circumcised, it's his first associate of experience because as a baby you can't move, you can't talk, you can't protest. So you have to dissociate from your body to escape the pain because there is an immense amount of pain and that that is actually one of the most traumatic things that we can do. And it leads to dysfunction sexually and like the relationship that we have with sex. And then in this episode, I learned that it really started getting pushed during the Victorian era because they thought that masturbation and sex were the reason to blame for everything. 0 (43m 9s): Like you, it would make you go blind. It was the reason that you were sick. It was the reason that society was falling apart. So they said if we desensitize this part of the male body and they even were doing to some females that will cure everything. And the guy in the podcast is like, obviously it worked, you know, done duh. 1 (43m 26s): Right. I just, I, my conclusions after learning everything that I had about circumcision was that it was exploitation of the child. Like, and that sounds like, I think that's like people get up in arms about that, but like that's what I came to the like it is exploitation. 0 (43m 44s): Is it, is it genital mutilation? Like why is it for a girl and not a boy? So when people are like, okay, well if it's for religion, well they're Muslims, there are plenty of them that still do female genital mutilation and that's part of their culture and part of their religion. So do we say that that's acceptable because it's part of their, and I say no adamantly, I say no and I 1 (44m 3s): I would stand on that hill, 0 (44m 4s): Right? And it's like, no. Yes. Like that is more extreme than a Circumcision but it's, it's adjacent. 1 (44m 12s): It's okay. And this is where I got, this is where I got pissed. I was like, I was reading this and okay, so first of all, the neonatal fibroblasts, which are what they, they harvest the, the Stem cell cultures, right? They go for $400 a milliliter, $400 a milliliter. There's multiple companies. I'm pretty sure they're all based in the US that are the Stem, they're Stem cell like research companies, right? They're biomedical science companies and they're worth billions. And it's like a whole underground industry because, so like the parents are thinking that this is medical waste. Like oh my child is getting this, it's medical waste, like the Placenta, we know that Placenta are worth crazy amounts of money. 1 (44m 57s): Yeah. Like 50,000 plus dollars, something like that. And like the parents go in thinking like, oh this is medical waste. Aside from the procedure, the procedure in and of itself is like, in my opinion now knowing what I know, I'm like, it's horrifying. And on top of that, this is medical waste that then gets sold to biomedical companies. To cosmetic companies. And then you have crazy celebrities like Oprah Winfrey I'm pretty sure was one of them. 0 (45m 27s): It's in her favorite cream 1 (45m 28s): And Sandra Bullock one creams. Yeah. Yeah. That came out like Sandra Bullock was like, she gets the penis facial with like literally neonatal fibroblasts Stem cells from foreskin of children. I, 0 (45m 39s): I 1 (45m 39s): Was like, you 3 (45m 40s): Wanna, you want me to get riled up about something? We, I will literally fight 1 (45m 47s): Like on that topic because I'm like, these celebrities are like, it's, it's gotta be exploitation. Like there's, the only way that I just like think of it is like that is exploitation and like they're using it for their beauty and their youth. And there's a lot of other things I'm sure they also use though we could get into. But like that to me is so wrong in so many levels that like these biomedical companies are profiting exceptionally insane amounts and then the clinics themselves are profiting because they're selling the waste, the the quote unquote waste waste. And I'm sure it's in the fine print somewhere that the parents will never know that this is actually what's happening on the backend. Right. It's like, it's insane. 0 (46m 27s): Yeah. When I was looking it up for cosmetics, I was like, wait, we're actually putting them in cosmetics. I thought that was like a future thing. We're not doing it yet. Or maybe it's not past. It's No, it's like, so it's for hair growth stimulation, it's in HydraFacials, which is crazy 'cause I used to get those all the time. Oh my gosh. So I guess I've done them without knowing skin medica. This is on Wikipedia so it must be true. But yeah, I, I had no idea. And then there are like the cases where you're using 'em for skin grafts and burn victims and diabetes 1 (46m 58s): And it's like Stem cells, like they have their place. Right? Right. Like Stem cell research is incredible. Like there are people who absolutely need it, like you said, skin grafts, like tissue repair, like that sort of thing. But then there's like a fine line. There's a lot of, there's places that you can get Stem, Stem, Stem cells without mutilating 0 (47m 14s): Also should like the parents be in like the mom be like compensated if they're gonna sell your Placenta for $50,000, like shouldn't you get something for that? They 1 (47m 24s): Literally deem it as biomedical waste in the paperwork. 0 (47m 26s): Well I saved by for the coordinate cord blood thing, the cord. So it mines somewhere in a freezer in Arizona. Well haha in traditional 1 (47m 35s): Chinese medicine, a lot of times like, well you look at like animals, they all eat their Placenta. Like a lot of, a lot of them eat their Placenta Postpartum. But like in traditional Chinese medicine, that's such a thing to balance hormones postpartum. Mm. Is like taking small cubes of your Placenta in like, again, it can really be offput to some people 'cause they're like, why are you like eating an organ that was technically excreted by the body? But it's like, okay, well I always say look at nature and look at other cultures because usually western like society's kind of a little bit, you know, off on some of the approaches to things. But in traditional Chinese medicine, it is a way that women are literally able to single-handedly sometimes really help their hormones balance. 1 (48m 20s): And again, people will argue it's, oh is it placebo effect? Oh is it real? But I can firsthand say that I felt an extreme difference versus 0 (48m 30s): Taking, so you dried yours. 1 (48m 32s): I I did it like a regular organ, kind of like I would do beef liver like frozen and put it in smoothies. Oh wow. And I sounds crazy when people are like, wow, really? But I would tell the days that I could do it for like I had it versus the days I didn't. And I would feel a massive difference like hormonally because your Placenta was responsible for creating all the hormones in that second, third phase of Pregnancy. Like it took over at a certain point, I think 20 weeks and it was, it was doing all the hormone production, like it was doing a lot of work. And so then your body just goes and it's, it's really hard to come to terms with that when you're in that postpartum phase. And so, yeah, in TCM it's very, it's a very like specific practice that they do. 0 (49m 16s): That's so interesting. See, when I was trying to decide to do it or not to do it, I couldn't find enough to sway me either way. Right. So I was like, I'm just not gonna do it. I've, I don't know who I was following, but they were saying that like there's, there can be a buildup of toxins and this is right. So if you aren't being intentional enough with your diet, then totally it's accumulating in the organ and then it's counterproductive to healing. And I was like, I don't know what's happening. Yeah, I'm so I'm just gonna take my vitamins. I'm gonna, yeah. So speaking of supplementing postpartum, I was watching the Scary Breca episode and he was saying that there's something with like the methyl methylation process with Folic Acid and it can actually cause a ton of anxiety in women. 0 (49m 59s): And what do we get put on while we're pregnant And Folic Acid Acid, right. So 1 (50m 3s): Yeah, the M-T-H-F-R gene. 0 (50m 5s): So how significant is that effect on most women would you say? Like, is it, 1 (50m 9s): It depends on your genetic predisposition. Right? So Folic Acid is, I, I would dare say detrimental. If you have the M-T-H-F-R gene, you can, sometimes you can, I would say like a lot of people know naturally if they carry that gene. 'cause sometimes in blood work and a lot of different things, a lot of times women will or men will get notified that they have that gene. It's problems with something called methylation. And that's again tied back to the liver and how the liver processes specific things. So it liver methyl methylation is essentially like a form of detoxification and metabolism that people with this disposition are unable to do really well. 1 (51m 0s): And again, I'm not an expert on it, so I just kind of know the groundwork. And that folate is a much more vile available version of B, the B vitamins versus Folic. Acid is a precursor. A lot of times it's the synthetic version of what folate actually is. And Folic Acid tends to cause issues with people who cannot methylate properly, which in turn would make sense for things like anxiety and some of those symptoms. And that's what they put you on as a prenatal. Yeah. And only few, there's only a handful of prenatal supplements that'll actually put you on the real folate. Like that's a, that's a whole nother, that's a whole nother rabbit trail and why they do that. 1 (51m 45s): But it, and it's really kind of, what's the conspiracy 0 (51m 47s): Theory? 1 (51m 48s): I, I don't really know why they put, I don't understand why they put women on Folic Acid 0 (51m 54s): Because I really don't. You just eat, like if you're eating eggs and fish, if 1 (51m 59s): You're eating eggs, fish, red meat, beef, liver, you're getting, 0 (52m 3s): You're fine. Right? These 1 (52m 4s): B vitamins, right. You're getting, and again, it's really important for the neural tube development in babies, in the fetus, especially in the first, I think it's like 10 weeks. It's really important. So again, it like when you're taking prenatal, it's most important like during the first part of the Pregnancy. And it's even more important if you're actually taking fully, and again, I think it just goes back down to like bioavailability maybe in this industry they're looking at a cheap way of doing it. They're not necessarily turning to like whole food sources. I think we also have a big plant-based propaganda thing happening. And I think there's just denial that sometimes like animal-based products are like literally the way to like enriching your health in every aspect. 1 (52m 54s): And especially during Pregnancy, if you're not eating your weight in grams of protein daily, then you, you know, you really need to try to focus on that. Like, I don't know. It's, it's, there's a lot, there's a lot there. I, I don't really understand a lot of the recommendations and, and why they push that. I just know it's not technically correct from all the stuff that I've slowly kind of learned. So 0 (53m 19s): Yeah, I switched, I listened to that episode and I, well my postpartum journey with my second was wildly different than my first really, I, my first one I feel like I went to sleep and I woke up and my body was back. I didn't have to do anything. That's amazing. It was crazy. My second one, it just wasn't going anywhere. And I kept telling my doctors like, I feel terrible. Mm. I am exhausted. No matter how much sleep I get, the weight is not coming off. And they look at that like a vanity thing. They're like, oh, well just wait. I'm like, no. Like that is a sign of something like it's 1 (53m 52s): Thyroid. Yeah. 0 (53m 52s): Right. And that's what I kept saying, well your thyroid's supposed to be outta whack because you just had a baby. And I'm like, well this didn't happen the first time. And they're like, well every pregnancy's different. I'm like, I'm telling you there's something wrong. So I had Graves disease have, I guess, I guess it's maybe a forever thing, but I'm like, I'm just gonna go off my medicine. Right. And they told me not to. They're like, your levels are fine. I'm like, they're not fine. Look at me like I, I'm giving you all of the signs of like low thyroid and they just wouldn't. So I went off my medicine against their advice. I hired a private practice doctor. I started working with Meck Health and so they were monitoring everything. Everything started to level out. I stopped taking my traditional postpartum like prenatal. Yep. 0 (54m 32s): And then I took something, I think it's Thorn and they have like the real version. And my brain fog lifted, the weight started coming off insane. I felt like I was like taken out of this cloud. I wouldn't say it was postpartum depression 'cause it wasn't that bad, but it definitely wasn't my normal baseline. You can 1 (54m 49s): Tell like a woman's intuition, whether it's for her babies or it's for herself. She knows what she's talking about. And I hate the gaslighting that these doctors do. But then I always have to remind myself and like some, the people that I'm here and friends with their, their parents are doctors. And I love how even keeled they are 'cause they're in research and one of them actually halts drugs like from getting onto the marketplace. But what like is so interesting is like that's said is like doctors are taught to practice medicine. Literally the word medicine, they're, they're taught to practice medicine. They're not taught to look for root cause. 1 (55m 29s): And even if they know that like majority of women who are coming into the postpartum era after having a baby are like hypothyroid. They just deem that as part of the process and are in like, it feels like so many of them are just incapable of seeing like, okay, well what's the root cause? And like is there a way to solve this or is it gonna solve it on this its own? Or Oh, are we just gonna push them onto Synthroid or another thyroid medicine down the road? It's just, it's so crazy that this is the reality of our profit medical model. Like it's all for profit 0 (56m 5s): And it's, yeah. And they say you're supposed to feel that way. You're supposed to feel like no you're not. You're not. 1 (56m 9s): You're not. In traditional Chinese medicine, there's the 40 days that's practiced and the 40 days is a place where the mama does not go really out of the house. She wears warm wool socks she's taken cared for by usually one to two extra people in the house. Whether it's a grandma, a mom, whatever. The husband as well. She's got probably meals prepared for her. She's eating a lot of like red med Juul dates, she's lots of broths. Things that are warming to the womb. And they say in traditional Chinese medicine that the mother who practices the 40 days after, she should come out feeling better than she did before she got pregnant. 0 (56m 47s): Whoa. 1 (56m 48s): So that is the opposite in philosophy that you have. Like she should come out nourished and glowing after the 40 days of postpartum versus Oh you're working nine to five, you have 10 weeks of maternity leave. Figure out how to manage your baby and manage everything else while having little to no help. And a husband that's also working nonstop. Yeah. You're just gonna have to figure it out. We'll prescribe you something. How's your anxiety? Oh, you should probably get that. Like check. 0 (57m 18s): Yeah, let's just throw you on Lexapro. You'll be fine. 1 (57m 21s): I can't, I can't believe like you hear these stories and you like wanna laugh 'cause you're like, this is so absurd. It's insane and it's normal here. And it's the opposite in other places in the world. I mean look at how many other countries have six plus months, eight months of maternity leave. Like here you are lucky, like most women are lucky if they get 10 weeks 0 (57m 42s): And then they don't even take it if they have it. Yeah. 'cause 1 (57m 44s): They feel guilty Becausecause, they're scared that they're gonna lose their job. It's insane. It's, I will, I will fight to the death on like this topic because I just, it boils my blood because then you get hypothyroid because hypothyroidism is the inability of, it's like it stems from like in trauma it's like not being enough. Like if you look at like the TCM version, I think German new medicine may, there may be crossovers in this and I don't know exactly and I don't wanna butcher it, but it's the ability to not be like, feel like you're speaking your truth and not feel like enough and that you're kind of chasing the rat race as a mother and or just as a woman. And so the thyroid is in the throat, the throat chakra is associated with it. 1 (58m 29s): And it's got this connection of the inability to basically be saying, thinking, doing what you feel like you need to do and that you can't keep up or you can't catch up. And it's, yeah, it's very like there's a very strong like energetic sense to the condition. So I've had some hypothyroid activity postpartum a little bit myself 0 (58m 54s): Really. And I've been trying to have, from the outside in, I was like seeing all the stuff you were eating. And I'm like, that's amazing. Right? And then I see you in a bikini in Spain and I'm like, good god. She's like, she's not human. No, 1 (59m 9s): But, but you know what's interesting too is hypothyroidism shows through more than just the weight. Mm. Hypothyroidism is a very stealthy, stealthy condition because it starts out with like cold hands and cold feet. Some women it will show through as losing a lot of hair, but maybe their weight goes back to normal. Some women, it's the weight in certain regions just doesn't fall off. Some women it's this chronic lethargy, but then like maybe they're also skinny. So it's like this mirage, it's like this very like stealthy thing because all these women experience it super differently and you'll just like feel in your body. 1 (59m 51s): Like you'll feel it in your gut, you'll feel it and you'll just be like, things are slow. Like things aren't moving the way that they normally do. Or I am losing like a little bit of hair right now. Like that's one of the things that I've like noticed about myself is like, oh, I'm losing a little bit of hair and I'm, I'm kind of feeling cold hands, cold feet a good amount. And that was how it started to kind of like show forth for me where I wasn't really wanting to work out. I was kind of just like slow. Like, oh, okay, this is the first signs of thyroid. I need to do selenium. I need to like try to eat like a lot of selenium. And it's a good amount of iodine. Well personally for me, like that's like I crave seaweed and salty things and then like yeah. And I, I'm starting to kind of feel a little bit better, but definitely noticed it and stress of course exasperates it like a lot. 0 (1h 0m 38s): And that's, and then how do you do that when you're not sleeping? Right. Right. 1 (1h 0m 40s): Yeah. Right. How do you, how do you get over that when you're not That's a great question. Yeah. You honestly co-sleeping has been my answer. 0 (1h 0m 47s): I committed to that with my second, my first one. I was so convinced I was going to kill him. And this is all because everyone tells you to do it. Oh, it's so he did it. It's like I was 1 (1h 0m 57s): For, everybody was telling me that too. They're like, you're gonna like regret this. Like, and then I was like, I had the maternal instincts that can get overnight. You 0 (1h 1m 4s): Don't move at night. I, with my second, I, I'm literally like nipple here and you just don't move. And he's exactly where he is when I went to bed, obviously like you make sure the blankets are where they need to be, all that good stuff. But with my second, we co-slept till he was five months. Yeah. And it was amazing. I got sleep and you sleep, yeah. You literally sleep. 1 (1h 1m 23s): Like people don't tell you like that is the hack. Like okay. They're like, yeah, sleepless night. Sleepless night. No you coat on and you'll literally sleep. Or like just get the extension bassinet for the bed and it's perfectly safe. Like you get the extension bassinet and you actually sleep at night and nobody tells you that. Yep. And again, I talk about other cultures, it's normal. It's so normally practiced in all the other cultures around the world. And then you come here and it's like, oh well fear of this, of this, that. And there's, there are instances when you maybe shouldn't go to sleep if you're like a heavy sleeper, if you're a smoker. Like those types of things. Drinking, drinking, like there are instances. But if you're a healthy mama who has like good instincts and the dad like you, there's very specific ways to do it. 1 (1h 2m 9s): Like very safely. And 0 (1h 2m 10s): See, I wouldn't trust my husband and I think he would say he doesn't trust himself either. So he slept in the guest room and then it was just me and the baby for a while. 1 (1h 2m 18s): I always did it on the opposite, opposite side of Rodrigo first. Now Luca is like big enough where Rodrigo like totally knows he's in bed too. He like Luca like sometimes will crawl on him at night like in the middle of the night and we're like, Luca go back to sleep. And so like we've gotten used to it, but at first it was the same way where it was like husbands are as like aware. So either have him on the other side with the bassinet and then like if he gets big enough and old enough, then you can kind of like, okay, now we're back all together. 0 (1h 2m 45s): Yeah, you're out of like this scary 1 (1h 2m 47s): Territory. The scary, oh my gosh. When there's so little like 0 (1h 2m 49s): That. Yeah, it's like a baby bird. It is. 1 (1h 2m 51s): And you're just like, oh yeah. But it's a lab of love man. Between that and breastfeeding, 0 (1h 2m 58s): I'm still going, I'm trying to cut. Cut. You're still 1 (1h 2m 60s): Going. 0 (1h 2m 60s): My 17 month old, he will rip my shirt off in public if he has to. Like, he is like, we're not stopping it. I'm like, well when can we, 'cause I, I'm wondering if Luca's gonna, I'm ready. I'm so ready. It's like, 1 (1h 3m 12s): They're like child-led weaning. I'm like, well some of these kids probably wouldn't until they're four years 0 (1h 3m 16s): Old. Yeah. I don't think that's gonna be my youngest, my oldest was done around 14 months. He just came, 1 (1h 3m 21s): He was like, yeah, I'm done 0 (1h 3m 21s): Over it. And then this one is like violent about it. He's, he like pinned me down. 1 (1h 3m 26s): Charlie was an aggressive eater. I had to learn that. I was like, Luca got teeth at three months. He has six teeth by seven months. And I was like dying because I'm like, he's he's aggressive. Yeah. 0 (1h 3m 37s): And like 1 (1h 3m 37s): He's gone to chompers on like he'll bite me and then when I tell him no, he like laughs. 0 (1h 3m 43s): He mine yells. He, he he'll yell at me. I'm like, it's like, no. What do you mean? No, not happening. So funny. Those are mine. Yeah. You're borrowing 1 (1h 3m 53s): These. 0 (1h 3m 56s): Oh my gosh. That's 1 (1h 3m 56s): What my husband always tells him. He's like, you're borrowing these little guy. Like just remember 0 (1h 4m 1s): He's like, that's what you think. That's what you think. Oh my gosh. So speaking of numbers and like misconceptions around babies, childbirth, all of that, I saw that you did a home birth. Oof. 1 (1h 4m 18s): Yeah. It was controversial one too. 0 (1h 4m 20s): It always is. It always, it always is. But yours was particular 'cause he was breach, right? Yeah, he was breach. So in North Carolina that's not legal. They would make like the, a midwife would lose her ability license. Yeah, she would have to, 1 (1h 4m 32s): It's, it's like that in pretty much all the states actually. Oh, I didn't 0 (1h 4m 35s): Know that. Those states it's so I guess starting there, why is it illegal to do a breach baby? 1 (1h 4m 40s): So, okay, so breach became, what's crazy is my grandmother had my dad breach vaginally, which is pretty, again, it was more common back then than it is now. Still pretty uncommon. Only three to 4% of all Births ever actually end up with the baby coming out breach. Okay. Because most of the time the babies will flip during labor and they'll come out head first. So it's a very, very like rare occurrence per se. But what I like is there's this organization called Breach Without Borders and they teach, like they're starting to teach physicians and a lot of midwives like the practices, the proper practices of natural breach delivery. 1 (1h 5m 20s): So in 2001, the hospital, I would say like maybe the medical curriculum basically stopped teaching vaginal breach and it only became c-section. And prior to a C-section, most mothers would be given the option to do an ECV, which is an external cephalic version. So that was pretty much gold standard 2001 on. If you ask a medical resident in like school today, they have never seen a vaginal breach delivery most times. And if they have a vaginal breach delivery by some very off chance in the hospital, they will call all of the doctors and all of the residents in to watch. 1 (1h 6m 5s): In fact, the last woman that I think I had talked with had a breach birth or breach birth kind of unexpected in the hospital and they had a 11 doctors and medical residents watching the birth. Whoa. That's how like taboo it is. So why, like what is the foundation of this fear and concern? It honestly, it came from a study that was done that was, and I can't remember the exact study, but it was, they later kind of redacted that the study wasn't entirely correct and didn't actually portray like what the real, like the real statistics of a breach birth birth were. And so this breach birth like basically showed like poorer outcomes versus doing it c-section. 1 (1h 6m 48s): But the way that the trial or like the way that the study was set up, it didn't really grasp long-term effects on like cesareans versus like vaginal it. It missed a lot of things. And like I said, I don't wanna, like I don't have the study like up and I wish I did, but it was all based on this one study. And then later on they were like, well this study was actually not even the most conclusive study. Like there's still more that could have been unpacked here. And so a lot of like doctors like raised red flags. But by that point the medical curriculum based on the study had already changed. So 2001 they stopped doing it. Only c-sections are allowed with the option of like an ECV offer prior to what's an cv, an external cephalic version. 1 (1h 7m 31s): And that is when they manually turn the baby. Oh yeah. And it's can be very traumatic. Some women end up going into labor because of it and sometimes they'll even get epidurals while they're doing it. Yeah, I've heard of this. So it's pretty intense. It can be. Now some midwives are trained to do it in a like manually in a very like gentle, gentle way. So some midwives do have that training and are actually able to do it in a way that is not necessarily considered invasive. And sometimes the baby takes it or sometimes you'll go in for a knee CV and the baby will flip. Right? Like right back. So I was at a birth center, I was 36 weeks pregnant and homeboy was still Breech and I was like, oh boy. 1 (1h 8m 12s): And they had to, they dropped me because the birth centers are not allowed to legally deliver breach because since 2001 basically it stopped becoming a thing and c-sections were the way to go. So they offered like, they're like, hey, like there's only two doctors that we know in the area that would potentially let you trial vaginal breach. But even still, they still have pretty like high rates of C-sections. They still intervene here and there. Or you can also schedule an ECV. So I was left with like basically little to no options and I was like, this doesn't feel right. I know that I can deliver this baby like vaginally. 1 (1h 8m 53s): And my really good friend had also had a breach birth home birth. Oh wow. And I called her up and I was like, Hey, like can you talk to me about like what happened? Like give me what like happened. She's like, oh well one, I had like this one special midwife from Tennessee and she is very highly trained and she teaches other people like a lot of like breach and why breach is so dangerous, quote unquote. Like getting back to your question is because there is this risk of the neck. Okay. So the difference between a baby that's coming out head first is that the head and the neck are born first versus a baby that's coming out Breech, a lot of times it gets to the neck and it's hanging and if anybody tries to oh, get the rest of the head neck out and try to maneuver the baby, they can break the neck. 1 (1h 9m 45s): Whoa. Okay. So it sounds, and again sounds a lot scarier than it actually is because if you learn more and more about breach, you realize that in some ways breach birth is actually easier, especially if you're doing it in a pool, which is what I did. So breach birth is just a variation in normal. And that's what Breach Without Borders, the organization teaches and now they're teaching a lot of physicians and midwives and stuff how to do it properly. And it's pretty international. So it's gained a lot of traction and there's more people that are willing to hear, but it's still very, very taboo. The rule with a breach baby is you never touch the breach baby when it is coming out as a midwife, as a, like you let it come out its own. 1 (1h 10m 30s): Okay. You let it hang basically like it comes out feet first. You don't do interventions to get it out. And if you do do can they hold you, you open while it's happening. Yeah. They they can, they can, they can help. It's stretching. Hold you open. Yeah, exactly. You, there's certain things that aren't as much of a concern. Now there's like a couple different types of breach positions that are trickier than others. Right. But Ma Luca came out textbook breach, which is his butt rumped first, and then his feet came out and then the rest of him like kind of came out after. And like I said, he was in a pool. So it's a very, it was a very smooth process and nobody touched him. It takes the gravity away a little bit basically. It just takes, yeah, it takes the gravity away. He was kind of just like floating. 1 (1h 11m 11s): He was floating for a second and then he came out and you don't have to worry about things like shoulder dystopia and like some of the other things 0 (1h 11m 18s): In the, in the water that 1 (1h 11m 19s): You might have to worry about. Yeah. That you might have to worry about with like head down babies where the positioning, sometimes the shoulders come out one way. That's 0 (1h 11m 26s): How my second came out. Yeah. 1 (1h 11m 28s): Shoulder 0 (1h 11m 28s): First. And they're like, oh my god. 1 (1h 11m 32s): Right. Like there's, and when the, what is it Shoulder, I can't remember space, but when it gets stuck Yeah. When it gets stuck. Like you don't necessarily have some of those fears, but like, again, everybody's different and sometimes you'll tear more with breach. I luckily I didn't have that experience, but like my friend did have a little bit more of a a like a, a tougher breach birth you would say. But again, if you've got people that are trained and know exactly like how it's supposed to go and like the, the protocol that it's like, okay, well hey. And a lot of times sometimes in home Births you won't even know, like sometimes the moms will go in, they don't even know the baby's breach and all of a sudden the midwives are surprised they don't have time to get to a hospital. 1 (1h 12m 17s): So they have to know what to do sometimes. And they have to be able to act fast and be like, okay, we're not touching it. It's hands off delivery essentially. Yeah. And you just kind of let your body 0 (1h 12m 27s): Do its thing. 1 (1h 12m 28s): Do its thing. Yeah. 0 (1h 12m 29s): Whoa. Yeah. You're a brave woman. I know. It's, it's, it's with my first, I like, I wanted to do it super natural, as natural as possible. We live in an area where we have one of like the only, they call them baby friendly hospitals. Oh. So their protocol is very, it's like as natural as you can get without get without going to like a Birthing center. That's what 1 (1h 12m 49s): My friend is doing. Yeah. She's like going to like a wing of the hospital that's like a, like basically like a natural delivery wing. And it's super 0 (1h 12m 57s): Kind of holistic. Have they have midwives on staff, they'll help you with yoga positions, they've got the balls. It's amazing. They have, they do like trigger point while you're in labor. It's really, really amazing. So it's like, I'll do that because it's super low intervention if you want it to be right. I had a really difficult birth. Like I was laboring for like two days, not really progressing. They thought it was gonna be a C-section last minute. And finally I started to push 1 (1h 13m 23s): Say gre, let's 0 (1h 13m 24s): Go. But he came out with a nuchal cord. So he had an Apgar of zero. So basically a stillbirth, oh my God. They rushed him to a cart, had to take him to the nicu. They said, we don't know what's gonna happen. They put him into hypothermic coma for three days. No one could touch him. And I didn't know if I was gonna leave with a baby. So for me it was almost as bad as a birth story could be. Oh my God. And they're telling me, thank God he was in the hospital. Which I believe that However, when she gave me the, the statistics of how many babies end up in NICU at the hospital, I had no idea how common it was. So she was telling me at least at this hospital, or maybe it was in general, it was one in 10 end up in nicu. 0 (1h 14m 9s): And I'm like, that seems like a lot of babies. Yeah. And I know that birth has historically been kind of dangerous for mom and baby and then we learned to wash our hands. That made a significant difference. 1 (1h 14m 19s): Big difference. Right, exactly. 0 (1h 14m 20s): So I was wondering like what is the difference between like home birth slash Birthing centers and their rates of totally intervention and NICU stays versus hospitals. And I was like, well surely the Birthing centers are gonna be worse and surely home Births were gonna be worse. And I looked and then the study was like, no, not true at all. So the home Births that were planned, it was like 0.57 ended up having like some complications. Yep. And then let me see if I can find it. The hospital. But I was so surprised. Yeah. 1 (1h 14m 59s): Where is it? There is some really interesting data. 0 (1h 15m 2s): Oh 0.3% for home Births and then 0.57. So almost double. 1 (1h 15m 9s): Yeah. It's interesting because some of the studies that get referenced that kind of like demonize home Births, they also include unplanned home Births, which can be really misleading because if you go in prematurely into labor, the chances of complications are radically different than if you go in at full term into labor. Right? Yeah. So I think like whenever I used to look at studies of home Births versus like birth centers slash hospital settings. I think like I remember like there was a gal that I was listening to pretty heavily and she was like the re like the statistics are fairly skewed because they clump in unexpected and premature Births in that equation. 1 (1h 15m 55s): And there's a lot that can happen and can go wrong in those circumstances. But when you look at home birth versus Birthing centers, this was something that was very interesting for me. If you look at a lot of times like hospital Births versus home Births, I, I don't wanna like say this without having the data to back it up, but a lot of times you'll hear women explaining much longer labors. And there's a reason for that because the cervix has a very, very strong protective mechanism and it's mirrored in primal settings in animals. If the mother does not feel comfortable giving birth in the setting, she's in her cervix will close again. 1 (1h 16m 39s): And when you're in the process of laboring at home and then you get transferred, you go into a car and transferred to go to the hospital, some women will be literally six centimeters dilated when they're at home. They will arrive to the hospital and they'll be back to three centimeters and they'll be like, I don't understand what happened. My midwife literally showed that I was dilated six centimeters, that I was getting closer. And by the time I got to the hospital I was back down to half of that. So how does that, how does that come into play? And so the biggest thing that I've kind of heard a lot of times, and this is not to say like home Births are better than birth centers for me, like it was absolutely my preference because I have a very strong disinclination, like an inclination to stay away from hospital settings. 1 (1h 17m 28s): But it's just that the primal instincts tend to take over in the mother. And the labors end up getting extended because of the transfer of early labor to the hospital setting to an unfamiliar area where you not necessarily know everybody as well. You're in an unfamiliar room, you're in unfamiliar settings and the body knows that It's so smart, it's so intelligent. So it closes the cervix up. So then you get into 12, 24 hours into labor. Right? And the hospital's like, wow, you're not progressing. You're not progressing. What do they do? They give you an induction most of the time, right? You hit with a little Pitocin, sometimes an epidural just depending on if you wanna try to weather those contractions or not. 1 (1h 18m 8s): And because of that, the contractions get far stronger at a much quicker rate than they would ever naturally in labor. And we know that about Pitocin. It, it very much so has a strong, strong effect on the both the female body and the the fetuses. The baby. Yeah. On the baby's body. So we know that the second we start looking at inductions, we're gonna get epidural. Epidural might relax the mom too much. We're in for another round of Pitocin, all of a sudden we're in really high dosin Pitocin. We've lost the fetal tones. This is a common, you'll hear the story story a lot this talking with both men. We've lost the fetal tones. We can't hear the baby's heart rate again, too much Pitocin has been administered at this point for it to be completely unnatural. 1 (1h 18m 55s): Mom is going into potentially shock. Sometimes some women will have like pretty strong reactions. Their eyes may roll to the back of their heads. They've lost the fetal tones and they'll rush them for an e emergency c-section. A lot of times when this happens, and this is the same like story you hear a lot of times at hospitals, even with the most natural, like even in the most natural settings or even in the birth center, like, 'cause they only allow you to be in labor a certain amount of time without inducing, they put parameters, right? But labor and delivery, like the birth of a baby doesn't have a timeline. Like they, they're coming when they're coming and you know, you have to like kind of rest assured knowing that. 1 (1h 19m 37s): But like the hospitals don't give that time 'cause it's money. So having a natural long birth is not always ideal. And so you get into this power play of, for-profit medical system meets mom who's taking too long to labor meets interventions and all of a sudden we're getting charged six to $10,000 for the C-section. That was unexpected. And it's, it's pretty alarming how often that that happens in a home birth setting. You don't have those interventions taking place and you don't have those interventions taking place. You also don't have them as crut like sometimes like you don't have them as crutches. And I, I would say like, it, it can be really scary, but also like it requires full surrender because your body, you're like, my body literally knows how to do this. 1 (1h 20m 28s): We were born to do this. Like we were physiologically designed to do this. And I just have to like trust that my body knows what it's doing and that I'm not gonna stall the process. And I think that that's what a lot of times where interventions come in because the birth process stalls when we get into unfamiliar settings. And I think that's why we see a lot of the interventions that end up occurring just 'cause that Yeah, we, we inter intercede in, in the, the natural process of birth a lot. But at the same time you ha do like, there's always risk carried one way or another. Right, right. And that's what you learned is like there's always, there's always risk one way or another. 1 (1h 21m 9s): And it's like, how do you weigh the risk reward 0 (1h 21m 16s): Hard. And so much of it's uncertain. It's like, I wish that I felt safe to do it at home because there is a question mark in my head that if I, so my first one was taking so long that they're like, okay, well we're gonna break your water. So that was intervention one and then it can only be broken for so long. So then they're like, okay, well you're not progressing we'll just give you some pitocin. And at this point, like it was my first one, so they're like, I'm gonna do this thing without an epidural. Even with the Pitocin, I got this right. So I get the Pitocin and they start jacking that up and I was doing like, if by no means was a cake walk, but I was managing my pain. I was going in the shower, I had my doula rubbing my back. I would go in the bath like I was moving, walking, squatting, like all the things. 0 (1h 21m 57s): So I was like working through the pain. And then I started getting the Pitocin and then it's like, it was a psychedelic experience for me. Oh my gosh. I was like, I heard 1 (1h 22m 7s): Rolling. 0 (1h 22m 8s): So it's like you, I would get a contraction that was, I felt was gonna break every bone in my body. So I'd be alert. And the minute it stopped, I'd almost like collapsed into this. Collapsed. I don't know where I 1 (1h 22m 19s): Went. I've heard this experience with Pitocin, which is so interesting 'cause it's so different from the experiences I had with my contractions. And again, everybody's contractions are very different, but the way that I hear like people describe Pitocin is exactly what you said. It is so intense to where you just like basically lose all consciousness. Yes. After the contraction's done. Yeah. 0 (1h 22m 41s): So it's like in and out of awareness. And then eventually I was, I said, I'm like, I need an epidural. I can, this is unnatural. Can't do it. Impossible. Yeah. And then obviously everything transpired with him. My second one, I don't know why he didn't wanna come out. He just, he was chilling. I was fi walking around at 41 weeks, five centimeters. So they're like, okay, well we'll just get schedule an induction for 42 weeks. We don't want you going past 42. Right. I go to the hospital at 42 in, I think one day I'm now six and a half. You just chill centimeters, just chill. No contractions, nothing. So they just do the pitocin and I'm sitting there and I'm like laughing and it's fine. And I'd have a contraction and like not feel it. So they were going in really soft and gentle. 0 (1h 23m 24s): And then they're like, okay, it's still taking a little bit long. We're gonna up the Pitocin. And then he, his heart started having a bad reaction to the Pitocin. So every time they'd administer the Pitocin, his heart rate would dip and it kept happening. And one time like the alarms went off and they rushed in. And like, that's not a good feeling. Right. 1 (1h 23m 40s): And it's again, puts you in doubt 0 (1h 23m 42s): In 1 (1h 23m 42s): Your body fight or flight when you're, when you are supposed to be the most in your body you've ever been, you are sitting in fight or flight like with all these sur like foreign surroundings, people rushing in things happening. And your body is like in complete survival mode when it's literally supposed to be on like psych. I mean, you're supposed to be on psychedelic like labor land hormones, you know? It's like, it's crazy. No, and that's, that's the other interesting thing. I I listen to a lot of free birth society podcasts, which again, very radical approach to Birthing. And I think like I land in the middle of, I like to have support, but I like, I wanna like, I wanted to try to like do it on my own. 1 (1h 24m 24s): And I, I just like kept listening to all these birth stories of like women who were doing breach Births on their own. And like, it just like, like really for me under like gimme knowledge and like visualization to be like, wow, okay. Like I kind of know what to expect. Now I, I'm gonna like go into this with like a certain mindset, but like, I just like, it's so interesting how many people always say like, right, like, thank God you were in the hospital. And it's like, wait, which, which of those interventions 0 (1h 24m 51s): Might not not have happened? Potentially 1 (1h 24m 52s): Have like, could have caused like the, the like the downstream like the trauma effects ultimately. And you know, again, we all like labor, labor and birth is traumatic no matter what. Like, that's what I always say. It's like even if you have the most peaceful, blissful two hour labor and delivery, you, you still went through trauma. So did the baby, like coming out like it, it's trauma no matter what. But it's, it's like, it's so interesting just like hearing like different women's perspectives on, on everything and like, like how sometimes their bodies do take over and like are trying to like shoot these protective mechanisms out and around. 1 (1h 25m 33s): And also, like what you said about the six centimeters dilated, it's so interesting because my midwife, she's like this ancestral boss of a woman. She's been doing it for 30 years. She does like twin Breech Birth. Like, she's crazy. She's amazing. Whoa. She's like insane. Like she's honest to goodness. She's probably seen every type of birth you can imagine. And she's like, it's so funny that doctors will like literally go and like look at how dilated the cervix is when it has no indication on how far the woman is progressing towards labor. Like you could be walking around for weeks at like five centimeters and it doesn't necessarily indicate that you're gonna go into labor anytime. It didn for me didn't wait. You could be walking around for three weeks at three centimeters. 1 (1h 26m 13s): Like it doesn't actually indicate whether or not you're gonna go into labor. Ultimately Yes. Is it a good, like, okay, like if you're eight centimeters, nine centimeters dilated. Yeah, you're pretty close to like, basically delivering. But it, you could be at a certain number for weeks and just be hanging out and babies just the d this is, it's dilating slowly and it's so, it's so interesting 'cause she really changed my perspective on that and she's like, it's, it's not actually a good marker. And we go and we get so invasive, like as medical professionals, they get so invasive up there and they poke and they prod and they burst. Like they puncture the water and, and it's like, what is that effect ultimately? 1 (1h 26m 54s): Like what is that doing? And yeah, she's like, she's like a matron. She's like a wi she just like carries the matronly wisdom. Yeah. And you're just like, wow. Have you written a book? Like I would read every part of your book. 0 (1h 27m 9s): The twin thing is interesting too because, so my mom was a twin and then my, my husband, his sister has twins. So we have like twins on both sides. Sides. 1 (1h 27m 17s): Are you gonna 0 (1h 27m 18s): Have twins in your mouth? I don't know. So I'm like, I feel like I wanna know a little bit more just in case that ever does happen. Because to me we used to have vaginal Births for twins and then somewhere it turned into, no matter matter, it's you are having a c-section and the baby is gonna probably four to six weeks early, they're gonna have to stay in the NICU for at least a month. Which we know has long lasting effects psychologically. 1 (1h 27m 41s): And that's not entirely true because full term for like a twin is actually technically I think 35 or 36 weeks. Oh is it? They're technically considered like by like clinical standards they're considered like full term most of the time. I would say like maybe if there's like c-section intervention then there could potentially be some sort of problems. But it's crazy 'cause what she always tells me and my midwife, she would say, yeah, just like breach twin birth is a variation to normal and we've been doing it for a long time and like, yes. Does it carry its own set of risks because 0 (1h 28m 16s): The cords 1 (1h 28m 17s): Absolutely. The two 0 (1h 28m 18s): Cords or 1 (1h 28m 18s): Well, e even still, she, so many of my friends have done home Births and the cords will be wrapped around the next three, three times and it's a non-event. They unwrap 'em, they're like, oh look, because the baby isn't like breathing air yet. It's been, it's been in the womb. It hasn't had a bunch of oxygen to be breathing. So when the baby comes out with a cord around its neck, it's actually very non and it's got something called, oh, it's, what's it called? It's a jelly. So the cord is a jelly and it doesn't actually like suffocate them. It's, it's, it's got a, what is it called? I can't remember the name. It's like a type of jelly cord. And it doesn't actually like tighten very hard and it's, and sometimes babies will actually wrap themselves around the cord as a protective mechanism. 1 (1h 29m 6s): I've heard for certain it, it has prevented certain things from happening and it, I can't remember exactly what, but there's a lot of reasons why sometimes babies will, will wrap themselves around or, or they'll be wrapped but breach Births some like they don't have as common, but twins will Yeah. Sometimes have that. And like my midwife said, she's like, it's a non-event nine, like 99% of the time. It's like, it doesn't mean anything. 0 (1h 29m 32s): Whoa. I had no idea. Right. 1 (1h 29m 34s): Yeah. And they also bring a level one hospital to your house, like midwives do. Okay. They bring like, they bring like equipment. Like they're, they know, they know what's up. Like they can, they can do a lot in like a house. Like you'd be surprised, like luckily I haven't had to experience it, but like they come prepared. So it's, it's very interesting the way that they work. And it's really cool. Especially if you find one that's like been doing it a really long time. 0 (1h 29m 60s): Yeah. That's what you would want. Someone that has seen Oh yeah. Somebody who's 1 (1h 30m 2s): Got gone around the block. Yeah. Like 30 years experience. Say no more. Like you've seen everything, you know? Right. Yeah. You might have twins. 0 (1h 30m 12s): Yeah. Whoa. 1 (1h 30m 14s): Are you, you done? Or you think you want more? 0 (1h 30m 16s): I don't know. I feel like having a baby is a massive transformation. Not only for you on an individual level, but for like the family unit and then also for like your romantic dynamic. Totally. And like each one requires a different level. Like it's almost like a different level of the video game. So one was like, okay, we got this. Okay. Two, it's like, okay, well now we just upped the ante a little bit. Like definitely. 1 (1h 30m 42s): And 0 (1h 30m 43s): It's like how do you not lose yourself, like your own identity? How do you keep the relationship healthy? Right. How do you give your kids everything that they need, they need. Totally. And then like to, there's gonna be a tipping point with that number and I think everyone's gonna be different. So I'm a little bit nervous because I feel like this second one we prioritized making everything as normal as possible for our first, like we wanted to make sure that he was still getting attention and love and care and like he didn't have to suffer the consequences of my healing. Yeah. But then that left me feeling completely abandoned. Right. And like, it was a really rough part of my marriage. 0 (1h 31m 23s): Yeah. Was like the second like recovery. And I'm like, I don't know if our marriage can handle, handle like another one that's 1 (1h 31m 30s): Very valid. And not a lot of people talk about that. Yeah. Like, I haven't heard that many. I think people focus so much on the babies like that come that like you, your marriage, like our marriage had to radically change. And that's everybody who welcomes like a child into their lives. Like you have to sit down and like one make time for each other. And that's just one. Like, I'm like thinking now about two and I'm like the, the pace of our lives, it's gonna be a whirlwind. Like you have to like be so intentional about 0 (1h 32m 3s): The siblings are so great siblings I know know, 1 (1h 32m 7s): Like, I want another one already. I'm like, he's eight months and I am already like, I want another 0 (1h 32m 11s): One. That's usually when it starts kicking in because like their personality starts really coming out. Yes. And there's usually sleeping. So it is, it's that time where most women get that pull. Oh yeah. I'm telling you when they run and like hug each other and I'm just, you're just like, there is nothing better. There's nothing better. 1 (1h 32m 30s): That's what I'm thinking. I'm like, I am gonna love, I'm gonna love this like that. When that happens, I think I need a little time to recover. Yeah. I wanna nourish, I wanna like rebalance my minerals and like heal myself a little bit. My like, I'm like, I know like some gals who like seven months in they're already pregnant again. I'm like, you guys are crazy. 0 (1h 32m 50s): Like, but like in the best way. 1 (1h 32m 51s): 'cause I wish I could do that, but I'm like not there mentally yet, you know? Yeah. You'll know when you're ready. And my husband and I are like, we're just now getting the hang of this one. Like, like let's give it a little bit more time and then we'll talk about 0 (1h 33m 2s): It. Ours are like two months or two years and seven months apart. Oh, that's a good age. And it's really, it's worked for us. Like it's a, it's a really good dynamic and they're thickest thieves already, which you wouldn't think is the baby's like 17 months, but, but still, I mean they're already wrestling and then if I like yell or snap, then my oldest is like, you don't talk to my brother that way. Like that that I so cute. I'm like, you go dude. That's 1 (1h 33m 28s): Right. Love 0 (1h 33m 28s): You Tell me. 1 (1h 33m 29s): I love that. That's like what I cr I like, I kinda wanna have three. Like part of me is like three, three sounds good. Then I'm like, is one left out? That's, oh my god, 0 (1h 33m 39s): I, I'm like, I would need four. Especially if I had, if there was another boy, 1 (1h 33m 43s): Boy, then I'd be six and then oh my god, girl math, 0 (1h 33m 45s): Girl math be pregnant. Right. And then breastfeeding like, when is my body gonna be 1 (1h 33m 50s): Mine? I know when. Yeah it might. 0 (1h 33m 51s): But if you have three that are all the same, then one is gonna be left out. So the third one was a girl, then I would be like, it's okay. They'll protect her. Exactly. And whatever. But if it's another boy, 1 (1h 33m 60s): Two boys and a girl was kind of like what I was trying to like think potentially go for. I was like, okay, my next one I really wanted to be a boy. And then the after that, then it could be a girly. Yeah. Like that'd be cute. 0 (1h 34m 9s): Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like have this picture and then God's like, no, you're gonna have all boys. Yeah. 1 (1h 34m 15s): And then my friend, she bought me like this thing and I was like, 'cause I was joking the other day. I was like, I wonder if I will be an all boy mom. 'cause I feel like I have that chaotic energy that boy moms just need like survive 0 (1h 34m 25s): The difference 1 (1h 34m 26s): Between like, you know this, there's a difference between being a girl mom and being a boy mom. Yes. Like, and I'm like learning that. And my kid is eight months and he's a firecracker, like chaotic as hell. And like shows his frustration. He's got my husband and i's attitude and I'm like, oh good god, when this boy is a teenager buckle up. I am going to be like screaming from the front door. Like ta no get, like I'll literally have to channel some chaotic energy if he's anything like my husband was as a kid. 0 (1h 34m 57s): Yeah. They say like with a girl, you can leave her coloring and you can come back and she's still coloring with a boy. You come back and he is on the roof and the house is orange and you're like, what is happening? Where's the dog? I 1 (1h 35m 8s): Don't know. Literally like you turn around and they've like stripped down their butt naked. You're like, oh my 0 (1h 35m 12s): Gosh, mine is still doing this thing where he like loves peeing in public and I keep trying to tell him not to. And like I went to look for him the other day and he's in the front yard peeing. And I'm like, what are you doing? I know. He's like, I just had to go. I 1 (1h 35m 25s): Honestly, I like Luca's already showing signs of this like chaotic boy energy. He like screams like, is like a screech and he'll like, he get already like pulls his pants down and he's like eight months. I'm like, dude, like wow. We haven't even gotten to like the potty training, the potty training phase or anything like that. And I'm just like, oh, we're in for a ride. That's great. Like I can already tells, but it's gonna be so fun. Yeah. 0 (1h 35m 47s): It's so great. It's so fun. So when you, like in the newborn stage, did you guys ever go through that roommate phase? Yes. How did you guys get out of it? Because it's like, I think the easiest thing to do is to blame the other person because you can't get mad a baby. I 1 (1h 36m 3s): Was blame him that I was 0 (1h 36m 4s): Pregnant. You know, 1 (1h 36m 5s): Like when you're like at that end of Pregnancy you're like, 0 (1h 36m 8s): You did this like 1 (1h 36m 9s): This, like you did this to me. Like, and of course like ultimately you like love your partner. But there was like two months I'd say where we fell into that roommate phase. Like for sure because I'm just like drained of all energy and all life it felt like, and I was just so consumed. And breastfeeding is such a labor and like we're not living in tribal communities where we've got all this extra like womanly support to where you're leaning on your partner so much more than you would in a lot of other cultures. Like again, I talk so much about traditional Chinese medicine, but like it's very common in TCM where the mothers and the grandmothers even and the sisters come and rally around that mom for the first two some months and they are like a really serious support system because your husband is also working potentially he's providing a lot like it, I mean it depends on like the dynamic of your relationship, but he's already expending so much energy in other areas that having him help me on top of everything else is like, it was so draining for him and me and you don't have that same support. 1 (1h 37m 21s): So we fell into that roommate phase for like a good two months I'd say. Like postpartum. And I just like, we, you know, there was just more like more just like drained arguing than necessary. Like where it's like you're so tired but you're still arguing like, well I need you to do this 'cause I'm like up doing this and this. And then all of a sudden, like in order for him to get sleep, he was like sleeping on the couch, like here and there and like take the bed 0 (1h 37m 47s): And it make a difference. 1 (1h 37m 48s): Yeah. And then like that makes a difference with his body because then you're disconnected from your partner and you're like trying to nurture this little tiny human who's like keeping you up all night. And I mean, I am so honestly like so surprised when I hear like, people haven't gone through that phase. I'm like, that's impressive. If you're living in like a western culture, like we are, like that, that phase is hard. Like, because then you're just like so emotional, like with the hormones and you're like, 4 (1h 38m 16s): And my me 1 (1h 38m 17s): And nobody loves me 4 (1h 38m 18s): Anymore and night and fat and trying to recover and my boobs, my boobs. So 1 (1h 38m 33s): It's, it's a really, really hard thing. And like the women that like get through postpartum and like champion it. Like I had a, I would say I did have like a really good Postpartum in a lot of senses. Like I did feel like my body became my own again really quickly. And I'm of course not expecting that like the second or third Pregnancy, but my body did become like kind of my own again, the, the, the energy and the lack of sleep was so hard for me that I get really cranky when I don't get sleep and I snap. And so like a lot of the issues that we were having was because of me. Like, and I know that like, 'cause my husband is, he cooks, he cleans like he's there for me. 1 (1h 39m 17s): And so like I know like a lot of the issues were created from me. Like, you know, and then it 0 (1h 39m 21s): Like, but that self-awareness is great. 1 (1h 39m 23s): So I'm like, I was like, I really had to check myself 'cause I was like, Abby, like this is all you dude. Like you need to get a grip. Yeah. But I was like, but I can't get a grip 'cause my hormones are everywhere and I'm not sleeping. So Yeah, I know what you're talking about with that. 0 (1h 39m 40s): So that's like, it's amazing. But that's where my hesitation comes with the next one. Then with my genetics, I'm like, and it's gonna be twins and they're probably gonna be boys. And then I'm, when I have an, do you know what I mean? So 1 (1h 39m 49s): Like, so when does a Nanny come into play? Because twins, 0 (1h 39m 53s): Yeah. You would need one. I'm like, oh man, we ha So the Nanny thing is, is interesting. We've got now gone through three. Okay. 1 (1h 40m 0s): And it's been a tough, it's tough to find someone. It's so hard 0 (1h 40m 3s): To find someone that you trust, let alone someone that's gonna want to be there. Like develop a relationship with your kids and then if they just kind of up and leave, then that's, you have to explain that. Yeah. You know? So right now our Nanny, she was with us for a little over a year. Yeah. The most recent one. Kind of left a little 1 (1h 40m 22s): Wonky. 0 (1h 40m 22s): Yeah. Like, it was just kind of a little bit of a surprise. So there wasn't like a ton of preparation either for like our schedules or like emotionally preparing our child for it. And right now he's going through it. It's almost like he's kind of behaving like he got broken up with and he doesn't know why. So he's just kind of been going around with this sadness. Mm. And I'm like, is it because like, so and so left, like, do you miss her? And he's like, yeah, I do. And we were driving and he goes, that's her favorite restaurant. We gotta go there sometime. And I'm just like aching for him. 1 (1h 40m 57s): Oh my God. That would break my heart. 0 (1h 40m 59s): So it's hard to, it's like 1 (1h 40m 60s): Break 0 (1h 41m 0s): My heart. I don't wanna hire someone that's gonna be here for a year again. Right. Like, I wanna be like, you have to be here for a while. 1 (1h 41m 6s): Well that's like such an interesting thing that my husband and I were talking about. Well, and my friend, she's pregnant right now. She's Argentinian and my husband's Peruvian. So South America does things like way differently than here. And we were kind of comparing, we were like comparing notes. And it's interesting because nannies in the US get paid really well. 0 (1h 41m 24s): My, especially mine really well. 1 (1h 41m 26s): Exactly. They get paid really well and they are, their sole responsibility is looking after the kids. Okay. In South America you get this matronly typically, like either you'll get like a young girl who's so motherly or you'll get like an older woman who's so matronly and doesn't just watch the kids. The kids are literally practically an ex. She becomes literal family, which I feel like is different here. She becomes like a part of the family. She works for the family for years, especially if she's taken care of. And the kids grow up like with this like matronly figure who not only watches the kids helps, like, 'cause I, for example, if I, if I'm in Peru, like we're gonna have an extra like help in that respect. 1 (1h 42m 18s): 'cause we, we go down there in March and they're responsible for cleaning the house, cooking home cooked meals, watching the children, like all these additional tasks where it's like, can be kind of hard to do all of it when you have kids. But like, you wanna be with the kids, she'll go make dinner if you need her to run groceries, she'll go and like do that. But it's like very different than I feel like American nannies sometimes because they're just like matronly and they stay there for years and years and years and they become like a grandma or like an abuela, you know, like they become an abuela basically. Yeah. And so it's like so hard because here I just feel like that culture, like that Nanny, it's like, it's different. I don't know. I don't know why like, but we were talking about it 'cause the same concern was Oh if you have somebody that comes into the house, like will they deal leave after a 0 (1h 43m 4s): Year? It's a big deal. Yeah. That's like a big, like you are having a really big impact on my child and I don't want you to take that for granted or like not seriously enough. And I think that's a problem if you get someone that's too young. And then the problem with everyone older that I found is they have families here. Right? So if we travel, that's not really available to them. Exactly. And I want someone who can come with us and help while we're travel on the road. Yeah. 1 (1h 43m 27s): Yeah. It's so true. 0 (1h 43m 28s): So it's hard. It is so hard. It's really hard. Hard. But we're in the process of looking, 1 (1h 43m 32s): Looking for a new au pair likes, have you done any au pair style? 0 (1h 43m 35s): I don't, but I like my privacy. So it's like, be here and then like go home. Go home. I wanna be able to sit on the couch with my husband at night. Totally. 1 (1h 43m 43s): Like eat knows. Also potentially will leave depending on their like 0 (1h 43m 46s): Status here. Right? 'cause that was once someone was suggesting that and it's way cheaper to get an au pair. But someone was saying like if you get someone from Sweden, it's like 10,000 for the year, which is crazy. But then they live with you and then as soon as they kind of get and responsible green card 1 (1h 44m 1s): Board. Yep. 0 (1h 44m 2s): Yep. So I don't want that situation either. 1 (1h 44m 4s): I know, I know. It's so hard to figure out. I think like one I'm like managing right now. Then two, I'm gonna be like, it's time. You also need dating nights. 0 (1h 44m 13s): It's time to help. You know, you need to be able to go out with your husband. 1 (1h 44m 16s): You need like, yeah, you need to have that flexibility a hundred percent. Like oh my gosh, it that. 'cause then you get into the roommate phase again. Yeah. And then it's a lot longer than you'd ever want it to be. And that's just not healthy, you know? 0 (1h 44m 31s): No. You need to be doing, it's like life will get in the way and then you stop having sex. And then once you stop having sex, it gets like weirder. Everything goes downhill. It does. Yeah. And then it's weirder and weirder and you're like, who makes the move? And I'm also tired. And then when are we going to like it's, do we schedule it? Which the answer probably should be. Yes. Honestly. Yeah. But yeah, it's, I think the moment that you realize that it starts getting awkward or you start feeling less romantically inclined to your partner, it's like, okay, you need to have sex. Now it's 1 (1h 45m 1s): Time to like literally, I don't care if you shower, like just like let's, it's 0 (1h 45m 6s): Like watering your plant. You need to do it. It's withering. 1 (1h 45m 9s): It's true. And, and honestly I think that's why you go through the roommate phase of especially the first few months of postpartum. 'cause you're healing and you literally can't have sex. So like you go through that phase of like trying to recover yourself. You're not being intimate with your partner. And then you get into this like, weird roommate phase. So like when you're trying to reinitiate after like very traumatic event occurring, you're also like, do I, how do, I'm kind of nervous. Like, this is not gonna be fun for me 0 (1h 45m 38s): To pursue 1 (1h 45m 39s): Times. 0 (1h 45m 39s): No, not 1 (1h 45m 40s): Fun. Like it's, oh yeah, no, and that's, yeah, that's where the roommate phase, I think honestly that might be like, one of the biggest reasons why like we had it is 'cause it was like that lack there. You're like, oh, I just realized that. 0 (1h 45m 56s): Oh, for sure. And then like again sleeping in different beds, it's like all these little things go pile 1 (1h 45m 60s): You just like separate yourself in so many ways than you before. And he was the only guy in my life before, you know, like the main guy. So, yeah. That's so true. That's so true. 0 (1h 46m 10s): Yeah. I mean, your guys' dynamic I think seems really beautiful. 'cause obviously he's an entrepreneur. Like he, he's a chef. He has restaurants. You guys are talking about a second restaurant. You have a podcast. You were also a huge role of like it was the health institute. 1 (1h 46m 25s): Yeah, the health institute 0 (1h 46m 26s): Until recently. Which I just found out this morning. Yeah. 1 (1h 46m 29s): That you left. Yeah. I I, I had us take a step back for like a number of reasons, but I, 'cause I'm, I'm gonna work on a new project, but I just like also was hitting burnout in a lot of ways with like the company mostly like, I'd say like just also having a kid I like was not able to like, like perform like I felt like I was just like living and getting dragged by my hair every morning. Mm. And like trying to like divvy up so many responsibilities. And we were like moving and Luca and I was just like, I was like running myself into crazy burnout. And I was like, this is a huge red flag. 1 (1h 47m 9s): Like I need to step back in a lot of ways and just like completely recalibrate myself. 'cause again, it's still Postpartum even if you're eight months, like you're still postpartum even if you're like 20 months, you know, it's, it's, it's process. Yeah. 0 (1h 47m 23s): And if you're not doing things right, I heard it can be up to 10 years, but it can take up to 10 years to get back to like your baseline before kids. Whether it's like mineral depletion, nutrients, energy vitality, just all of those kind of biomarkers. Right. So for some women that is insane. Yeah, 1 (1h 47m 39s): No, it, I, I feel it still in my body. You know, like, and that's the thing is like, I also was having bad issues with like, I know, I know we've been talking forever, but I had bad issues with my like feminine and masculine sides being really imbalanced. 0 (1h 47m 55s): Yeah, me too. 1 (1h 47m 56s): And I like have always been a type A like go-getter. Like I will tell you how it is. Like I'll be so honest with you. I'll be so straightforward, direct. Like I will, I kind of fall into that like really need to achieve. And for me, I was like, I think I was just living in my masculine so much that when I had a baby and had to like kind of shift into more feminine motherly energy while working a job that I was like pretty, like on the, you know, on the ball with, I just realized that I was having to like play these two totally different roles where I'd like switch and I'd be like feminine here and then I'd switch and I'd be masculine. 1 (1h 48m 37s): And then I was just confusing myself. And then I got like, so out, out of balance because I was really used to my like masculine kind of being the dominant one to where I was like, wait, I think I need to sit with myself and like figure out how to be like a little bit more of like a feminine nurturing like woman. Like if I'm gonna have like children. And yeah, I had to like re-shift a lot of priorities recently. 'cause I realized it was taking a toll on me, Rodrigo Luca. 'cause I wasn't happy and I was like, whoa, I need to reset. 'cause I, I naturally, like again, love projects, love to be, I have my hands in different things with different people working on stuff. 1 (1h 49m 18s): So it was like, it took a lot for me to like step back and say, okay, you need to take like just a couple months before you like dive into like something again or go back or whatever to like figure out how to balance yourself better. 'cause this is super unhealthy even with social media. It's like, okay, I just need to like sometimes just shut it off and hang out. 0 (1h 49m 40s): Yeah. It takes all of your time. Like you're there and then you're like, how did an hour go by? This is insane. I have so many other things to do. So true. But I think when you become a mother, especially if you're someone that is traditionally leaning in, you're masculine. 'cause that is me to a t. To 1 (1h 49m 55s): A t. Yeah. Maybe that's why we're boy moms 0 (1h 49m 58s): Probably. So it's just that high tea of ourselves. 1 (1h 50m 1s): I was thinking that maybe that's why we're boy moms. 0 (1h 50m 3s): But it like, it makes you be way more intentional with your yeses. So instead of just saying yes to every opportunity that's thrown at you or every project, you're like, well I now understand the cost of this. Yes, totally. So I'm gonna be way more discerning when I actually use it. And then you feel less guilty when you say no. Or you feel less guilty when you're not being quote productive. Yeah. And you're just laying in the grass with your kids. You're like, no, this is productive. This 1 (1h 50m 27s): Is productive. I'm raising little tiny humans. Right. And they are like learning from me like what it is to be like real and live in a real world with like, you know, without technology. It's like that's, that is like what a big thing. I've been trying to like keep my screen away from Luca and like really just to like be outside with him and like entertain him in those ways where it just like helps you disconnect and like Yeah, I don't feel as guilty about it. 'cause it's a reframing for me where it's like, oh this is like so good for you. And honestly I think in the last like month or two that I, I, the last month that I've been gone, I have like healed my sym like my parasympathetic nervous system because I just realized that I was like in fight or flight response 24 7 drinking coffee, trying to keep up. 1 (1h 51m 13s): And I was able to just like cut all of that and just like wake up in the mornings and be like, okay, you don't have a lot of responsibilities right now. Like, just like take like a couple months before you dive back in. And it's healed me like a lot. And Rodrigo was like, I've even noticed it about you. Like I noticed that you're more interested in being with me and like you're there, you're present with me talking like, and you're interested in like what I'm doing and what I'm talking about and you're not like thinking about something else while we're in conversations. Which is what I would do so much. Like I'd just be like in another world and he would just kind of like feel like second like on the back burner and yeah. 1 (1h 51m 59s): I had to have a, yeah, had to have a reality track with myself. 'cause I was like, that is like what we do here in like the us Like that's like so natural for us and it's kinda like what's praised? And I was like, I had to be okay with like just being for a little bit. And again, I'm very blessed because we have the ability to do that right now and not everybody does. And it's like, how do you balance that? And I like very am aware of like that that is like a, a blessing. Like to be able to do. So I just have to like look at it as such, you know? 0 (1h 52m 33s): Yeah. 'cause it's like what do you do if you don't have, you know, a husband or a wife to help you out. Exactly. And you have to work two jobs. Exactly. Like there are are no other options. Then you see all this social media content with people guilting people over daycare. Right. And 1 (1h 52m 47s): It's 0 (1h 52m 48s): Like, there is, what do you want them to do? 1 (1h 52m 49s): Know? I saw Alex d Clarks like I was, I was following like that whole thing. And you, 0 (1h 52m 53s): The people, what are these moms supposed to 1 (1h 52m 54s): Do? Exactly. It's, I mean it is literally you are in handcuffs. Yeah. Like there is no like better answer. I mean it. And it's really sad that that's like the reality of the US and we could talk about the politics behind that all day long because 0 (1h 53m 8s): Yeah. 'cause it does seem nefarious and intentional to kinda like 1 (1h 53m 12s): Separate Double Income, Double Taxes. Take the mother out of the home daddy government. I think we've Yeah, yeah, 0 (1h 53m 17s): Exactly. Now who's raising your kids? If it's not you, it's 1 (1h 53m 20s): Not you, it's somebody else and it's not exactly ideal. Yeah, it's so true. It's, oh, I feel like we could 0 (1h 53m 29s): Probably go on all day. I know. Jamie's like, are they done yet? I mean, I'll have to have you back on. We'll 1 (1h 53m 36s): Have to do this again. This we'll 0 (1h 53m 37s): Do Bo will you come do a series? Yeah. When 1 (1h 53m 40s): You come to Boca or something. When I'm there. We have to do 0 (1h 53m 42s): Something. When are you moving? Okay. 1 (1h 53m 44s): What's the 0 (1h 53m 44s): Plan? So 1 (1h 53m 45s): We were moving to Peru for five months in March. But we're gonna kind of like dabble. We're selling our house. Like our house got like kind of destroyed from the hurricane. I saw all the yard. Holy cow. I was like, oh my god, I'm not doing this again. So we were like, we're selling and we just had like a cute little like beach shack. Like we did not expect to get pregnant. We were living there and in New York City. So we were like back and forth and it just kind of like, it's, it's too small enough for us, like for sure. And we were gonna renovate our garage into like a studio, but we were like, no, we just need to move. So we were gonna leave for March for Peru for a little bit and have like a little bit of extra support. Rodrigo's mom is gonna be down there 'cause she lives between, she lives mostly in Spain, which she's gonna come and stay with us for a while. 1 (1h 54m 29s): And then we are back in August. We're gonna go back and move to I think Miami. So, we'll we will probably find a place by then. But I think 0 (1h 54m 36s): We'll be down. Let me know. 1 (1h 54m 38s): I know. Yeah. It'll be so fun. Especially if you're already down there. You guys have a, you already have a crew that you're recording down there with? Yeah. Yeah. Is that the canceled? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god, that's, that's a good group of you guys. Thank you. You guys 0 (1h 54m 48s): Are funny. They're ma, they are maniacs. Those two. How did 1 (1h 54m 52s): You meet them? They're hilarious. Gerome of you guys. Like I would literally just love to be a fly on the wall and give my input for some of those conversations. 0 (1h 54m 60s): Oh my gosh. So Gerard, I was doing like a cooking show on Twitch for a little bit. Oh cool. And then Gerard knew someone at, I think it was like Comcast. It was one of those networks. Yeah. And they were thinking about pitching an idea with us doing a show together. This executive's wife had a problem with me in my past. So they like nipped it in the bud like that. And then I didn't talk to Gerard for years. And then I'm pregnant with my second child. He calls me in like, if you need Gerard, like the store just makes sense. I could barely hear him. 'cause the windows are down and he's like, AO Kandy baby. What are you doing? I'm gonna be, I'm in the car with Mickey Gul, UFC, unde, undefeated Fighter. We're gonna be passing through Wilmington. 0 (1h 55m 41s): You wanna do a show? And I'm like, oh my God. Okay, sure. Who's he talking about? So that is incredible. I did episode three of his slick and thick show. It went viral. So they were like, okay, there's something with this dynamic, this dynamic. And we waited a little bit and I just felt like, but like this show is great. It's long format. Yeah. It's with a guest it tends to be a little bit like more softer and feminine. Right. 1 (1h 56m 6s): A little bit more feminine. Totally. 0 (1h 56m 8s): Yeah. And then this other thing on the side kept poking me. 1 (1h 56m 10s): It's like, what are your thoughts on? And you guys just go in and I'm like, this is incredible. Like this is the content that we need. There's not a lot of people broaching this content. Like besides, you know, you get the Joe Rogans and like the, but like with the comedian aspect, it's like, it's 0 (1h 56m 27s): So funny. Yeah. It's, they're ridiculous. So yeah, we did a couple episodes and we're like, there's something here. Yeah. And it took off bigger than both of our independent shows. Oh my God. Out the gate. So 1 (1h 56m 37s): Just the name itself is so good. Thanks. Yeah. It's so like, it's just like, it's everything that you kind of want in a podcast. Yes. You know? 'cause it's like, okay, they're gonna talk about shit then nobody else. No else is gonna talk. You know, like Yeah. Because you guys, did you talk about Abigail Schreyer recently? On one of the, 0 (1h 56m 54s): One of them we talked, I read 1 (1h 56m 55s): That whole book cover to cover. 0 (1h 56m 57s): Oh my gosh. Irreversible 1 (1h 56m 58s): Damage. Yeah. It's like, it's insane. 0 (1h 57m 1s): Insane, insane. I think every parent needs to read it. Especially if you have a kid in 1 (1h 57m 5s): School. They literally was like, I don't know if I wanna send my child to school. Like, like 0 (1h 57m 9s): Well if you ever think about moving back to Wilmington. 1 (1h 57m 12s): Wilmington, you're like, we're gonna hire private teachers to a call 0 (1h 57m 14s): Even better. So I ended up on a plane next to Tim Kennedy. Oh my God, I love him. We talked the whole flight and I was, we exchanged information and I was like, well surely once he finds out who I am, like this is not gonna be a conversation. He found out who I was. He was like very cool with it. Whatever. And he's like, I'm in no position to judge anybody. You seem like you really love your kids and I'm going to apply to try to open up one of his schools here. 1 (1h 57m 43s): Oh 0 (1h 57m 43s): My God. So we shall see. It's like, it's a very stringent process. Like if I ever like he trains you for 1 (1h 57m 49s): A year, maybe we need to open a restaurant in Wilmington. 0 (1h 57m 52s): I mean that's my husband's area that's, we're going to Seabird 1 (1h 57m 54s): Tonight. 0 (1h 57m 55s): Yeah. So my, one of the kids in my son's class right now, his dad owns that. Oh yeah. 1 (1h 57m 60s): Is his name 0 (1h 58m 1s): Dean. Dean. 1 (1h 58m 2s): Okay. My friends made, became friends with him, Dean. And so tonight we're going for the first time and Rodrigo's excited 'cause we're like, we haven't been to like a nice restaurant in Wilmington. Like I'm excited to like try it and see how it is. 0 (1h 58m 13s): You're gonna love it. Get all the oysters. Ask him to do, there's this one with like fried chicken on top, like a hot fried chicken. Okay. It's it so good. It's insane. It's insane. Yeah. That sounds good. He's an excellent 1 (1h 58m 23s): Chef. You'll have to meet, you'll have to meet my husband. 0 (1h 58m 25s): I want, I was, if you guys are 1 (1h 58m 26s): Also in the I know. Well he was, he was like, oh man, maybe I should come. And I was like, with Luca, he was like already ready to like go to sleep. He's like, I should probably go back to the house. 0 (1h 58m 34s): Like, okay. Oh yeah, 1 (1h 58m 35s): Yeah. We'll have to, we'll have to like get together 0 (1h 58m 37s): Something at some point. 1 (1h 58m 38s): I'd, because my family all lives in Charlotte, so literally I take my like par, my family's extra car that they have sitting in the driveway and me and Rodrigo like, we'll like drive around like the Carolinas. We were like in Tennessee, we come to like Wilmington and we're like, we love it. We love That's awesome. So much. So yeah, we'll have to do. We'll have to do something. Yeah. That'll be so cool. 0 (1h 58m 55s): You're gonna have so much fun tonight. I know. Yeah. 1 (1h 58m 57s): Oh my gosh, this was so fun. Yeah. We have to 0 (1h 58m 59s): Do. Yeah. Thank you. Please. 1 (1h 59m 1s): Like, I really love to do something again. It was so fun. Anytime. We could probably go on like for hour 0 (1h 59m 5s): Open invitation for hour. I know. I looked at the time like, I can't believe we've been going for this long. So good. And I still have so many pages of notes. I told you that. I know we, 1 (1h 59m 14s): We'll do a part two, we'll do a part two. Stay 0 (1h 59m 16s): Tuned. Everybody. We 1 (1h 59m 17s): Just like hit the, we just hit the, 0 (1h 59m 19s): Like, before we wrap up, do you wanna tell everyone where they can follow you? Projects you're working on? Yeah. About your podcast, all that good stuff. 1 (1h 59m 26s): I am Abby for Nini on Instagram and I'm also launching a website. This, I've been trying to take time for myself, but I've also been working on stuff. You know, you're like, oh, I'll just like dabble. I'm launching a website, holistic abbey.com. So it'll have like all of my blogs. Like, I was like, should I do a substack? And then I was like, no, I'm just gonna do like blogs on my own page and on my own site. So, and just like all my thoughts on various topics. So that's what I've been working on. It'll be like live soon. It's kind of live already, but not like, 0 (1h 59m 59s): Not like a hard launch. 1 (2h 0m 0s): Not, we haven't done the hard launch. We've done like a soft launch. Not hard. 0 (2h 0m 3s): Exactly. Yeah. I'll link everything below. If you wanna support this podcast, you can go to Chatting with candace.com Patreon. Or click that little link that says so fun that says Buy me a coffee. And thank you for tuning in. Bye everybody.