#121 Dr. Amanda Hanson - Unapologetic Aging, Finding Value Beyond Youth

0 (0s): You're supposed to breastfeed your baby. Full stop. 1 (3s): So I lift my shirt, I start feeding him and I'm also feeding myself. And my mom says, what are you 0 (8s): Doing? Feeding my baby? 1 (9s): Yeah. And she says, I would prefer you go into the bathroom to do that. And I said, do you wanna take your plate and go eat in the bathroom? I'm not giving my son his dinner in a bathroom. And 0 (17s): I did not wanna make it a thing, but my body was beat. Like, don't look at me. Am I gonna get yelled at? 'cause you've seen that. You've seen people go up to total strangers and say that, that it was inappropriate. And then the audacity is just crazy. 1 (30s): I think that we are so fearful that if our daughters aren't pretty enough or thin enough, they won't be chosen. 0 (37s): When I look at these girls on TikTok, they look like they're in their twenties with how much, how done up they 1 (43s): Are. We are actually going backwards. My daughter now has less rights over her body than I did when I was 21. 90% of movie directors are men. So even when you think you're being entertained, you're only being entertained through the male perspective. It's why I stopped watching tv. 0 (55s): That's such terrible advice. Like you're telling women to be men in order to be successful. Thank you so much for being here. I'm so glad that you happen to be in North Carolina and that I could convince you to pop over to the coast. 1 (1m 10s): I am so happy. When I looked at some of your content, I thought, this is a woman I wanna sit down with because you're talking about a lot of topics and a wide range of them that no one's covering. So that gets me very excited. 0 (1m 22s): Oh, I appreciate it. Yes. Yeah, the, the same with yours. It's like, have you ever read the book Outwitting the Devil? 1 (1m 29s): No. 0 (1m 29s): No. Oh my gosh. I highly recommend it. Okay. It is. Oh my, why is the author escaping me right now? I should have taken my n nootropic outing the devil. I'm gonna look it up because that I can't, it's like my favorite book and I this, I recommended it to everybody. See Jamie, this is why I like my laptop 'cause it's a faster Napoleon Hill. I can't believe I forgot that. Oh yes. But I highly recommend the audio version just because it will give you goosebumps. Okay. But my husband was just like kind of rereading it the other day and taking notes. And one of the ways that they say like the devil takes hold of people is through fear and how powerful that is. 0 (2m 10s): And the main fear points that he mentioned in the book were poverty criticism, fear of aging, and fear of death. And then my husband's like, which one? Like if you categorize these, like which ones are the most alive for you? And like definitely criticism is up there, but fear of aging is there more so than fear of death. And I'm like, I'm being truly honest. I appreciate that. Like not like dying of old age. Like that's how, what I mean not like like something tragic or violent, but like for some reason the thought of aging is so terrifying to me. And I know I'm not alone in that. So I love the work that you're doing because I feel that there's still a lot that I have to kind of process and integrate with. 0 (2m 55s): And there's still a lot there and it's like, why is that there? It's so weird. 1 (3m 1s): I think that that fear of aging is prominent for women in particular in the western culture because it has been our only sense of power. Youthfulness is what is most prized, what is most sought after in this culture? A youthful woman, A youthful face. And I think that it goes without saying as a woman begins to, for lack of a better word, I think that, I don't say this word, but I think other people would use the word deteriorate or show signs of aging. She is somehow less relevant to the world because she can't give you in the ways that we exchange with women. She can't give you the pleasure, the turn on the suppleness, the tightness, the youthfulness, the fertility. 1 (3m 43s): She can't give you all the things because we have always been this function as women to profit from, to take from, to gain from. And when the woman is no longer able to give the man, the youth, the beauty, the prize, all of those things. Then there's this question about what is left. And I think as women who, when we have not poured anything, any other value into our identity, then when the youth slips, it feels like death. Mm. Because it has been what is most garnered, it's the thing, it's the prize. To have a youthful face, to be told you look younger than you actually are is a huge compliment for women. 1 (4m 24s): I find it deeply insulting because my goal is not to hide any of this history because what I've learned through living is this at 51, this is so much wisdom. And I also understand the potency that lives inside a woman at this age. Mm. And I think we are terrified of that because we can manipulate the younger, more youthful woman. We can't manipulate as easily the older woman who's lived so much life and has a lot more non-negotiables if you wanna be in proximity to her. 0 (4m 56s): So I definitely think for myself that there's like a lot of identification with your body, right? And how you look. And then you see that, you know, like even in my mid thirties, it's very different than in my like things just look different. And that's hard 'cause it's 1 (5m 15s): Like, wait till you get to 50, 0 (5m 16s): You wake up and you're like, you can notice a a difference. And that sounds crazy, but sometimes it feels like overnight. And then it's this internal battle of like, there's this solution for that. And now they have like the mini facelift that people talk about and you can do that and then still leave by lunch. Like there is zero downtime for this thing that they're pitching and preventative Botox and all of these things. And it's like, while I'm not against people that do what they wanna do, I also really would want for myself to just like be okay in my body. Like, and if I decide to do whatever, then that's coming from a different place. Like not from like a deficit or trying to please somebody else, but like how do you get to, I don't know, like seeing that and like cherishing it, like loving all of it, you know? 1 (6m 5s): Yeah. You have to make an active decision. You have to be willing to, because the whole world is gonna sell you a solution around every corner. But you can't sell a woman a solution who doesn't see a problem. Mm. I don't see a problem. So you can't possibly sell me anything. I, there is nothing that needs to be fixed. If I decide that this is a problem, then I'm gonna fall into that slippery slope. And so I personally don't see it as anything wrong that is happening. I see it actually as one of the most miraculous, incredible things I've ever witnessed. And only through that process of watching myself every morning in the mirror age and welcoming it and revering it and honoring it, only through that did I become this liberated and free. 1 (6m 48s): I would've never become this liberated and free if I was, oh no, I'm really just doing this Botox. For me, it's for nobody else. I even think we've disguised it as a form of feminism. And so women bypass their own spiritual process of aging by telling themselves, oh no, I don't do this for anybody else. I do this for me. Really? Because I bet if you lived on a remote island and that was never planted in your head as something that was wrong and it was celebrated, you wouldn't, you have been conditioned to believe that you're even doing it just for yourself. Mm. It runs very deep. 0 (7m 18s): Yeah. You had this clip and I was just playing it and Jamie was listening and it was when we're in this pink dress and you're talking about if you don't have anything nice to say about your daughter, daughter's body, don't say anything at all. And he's like, who's gonna say anything to their, because, and he, he's a dad. He's like, who's gonna say anything to their, about their daughter's body that's negative? And I was like my parents all the time and I, I recently did medicine work and it was just like my husband and I and we had a facilitator and it was MDMA assisted therapy with psilocybin at the end. And it's funny because what I found for me is even before we went into it, I was like, well, what happens if nothing comes up? And he's just kind of looking at me like 1 (7m 59s): Say a, he's 0 (7m 60s): Like, yep, okay, maybe not. And we'll see. And just kind of like, you know, we'll see. And then it takes a second to, 'cause I, my control issues hit and I was like, it's not working. And he's like, oh we got, we got a live one today. So these memories start coming up. And the, I'm like, these didn't mean anything. Like I thought, you know, nothing happened on all of this. And then it keeps working after. So I'm like a week out and I've been having the craziest dreams, but like lucid and memories come up and then it, it's my body wanting to work through 'em. And one of them was like, I must have been 12 at the time and my dad, it's like low rise jeans were in and I just like, I have a butt and I have legs and like those are not the most flattering cut for my body. 0 (8m 44s): And he 1 (8m 45s): Says, who 0 (8m 46s): Says? Says me? 'cause I'll spill out of it if I sit. Like I will sit and my butt will take over the pants no matter the size, but he'll come over and like pinch, he'd pinch my hip. And he's like, what's this? And the way I was doing my makeup, he was like really critical about, instead of getting to the root issue of why is my little girl putting on so much makeup, he was kind of like criticizing the way I was doing it. And just like the, my gut dropped, like my heart dropped in that moment. And then being brought back to that and it's like that had such an impact on me as a woman. Yeah. And it probably didn't even register as anything to him, but it's like, why would you do that to your little girl? And the way we treat little girls is just so messed up and it then we wonder why like there's all this body dysmorphia so young and why that's so common. 0 (9m 34s): And like I'll talk to my husband about it. He's like, I don't understand what you see. Like what? Like how are you being so critical of yourself Because like what I see is not what you see. And he doesn't understand like where that warped reality comes from. And it's like all of these little moments that I think people write off as nothing. And it really is something, 1 (9m 51s): It definitely seeds inside somewhere. And it even if, like you said, if you were unconscious to it until this journey happened, it was in there playing a part of your identity of the stories that you told yourself. Every time you picked a pair of jeans, every time you went to the mirror, every time you assessed yourself, that was part of the unconscious message that you were playing back to yourself. And I think we start that with little girls because we, we see even again, I don't think it's intentional offense sometimes I think it, it is very intentional and very harmful. But again, I think that we are so fearful that if our daughters aren't pretty enough or thin enough, they won't be chosen. 1 (10m 32s): Because we as a culture, as a society have put so much pressure on women to look and be perfect to be chosen. And we don't teach girls to choose themselves. And the goal is what is this about? And but what lives under, what is this about? What lives under that is probably no one's gonna find that attractive. And that's his own fear. Mm. That's his own belief about which women get to be picked and which women get to be worthy. Because we see women as ornaments and not humans. 0 (11m 3s): Yeah. It's just cr like I, I was never a nail biter, but I was like that impressionable age where you see your friend do something, you're like, oh, what's that? And I had a friend that was, and I did it one time and I remember I never did it again 'cause I did it one time in front of my dad and he's like, men hate that. And it's like, instead of saying, wow, I know it's just wild. And it's like, instead of just saying like, that's pro, like what's going on? Are you feeling okay? Are you nervous? 'cause usually that's what's indicative of like a, a nail biter. It's like to make it for somebody else. Right. It's just so crazy. And when I was revisiting that memory, it was like the inner child work, which I think is so powerful and like wiping the makeup off and it's like, you don't need this. Like you're so like, you're already so beautiful. 0 (11m 45s): Yes. Like why are you painting your face like this? Because it's like the heavy brown liner and the pale, you know, like that J-Lo thing was really in at that time. And I feel like it's only gotten worse and accelerated since I was a teenager because when I look at these girls on TikTok, they look like they're in their twenties with how much, how done up they are. And it's, it's fascinating to me, but also like why the rush to like womanhood. 'cause that's what they think they're doing. Like this rush to womanhood and this rush to over sexualize little girls. 1 (12m 18s): Well I think that they're watching their moms So they're watching. So the moms now have access to things they didn't have 15 years ago. So the mom looks a certain way and that's the role modeling. You cannot tell me that these 10 and 12-year-old girls, I have four children, they're young adults now, but you cannot tell me that these 10 and 12 year olds who set up these TikTok accounts and the 12 step get ready for get ready with me for school routine is not supported by the mother who took her to support it by all the products. Who's helping her even get an account started, who's helping her with her lighting. And, and so when I look at this, I'm like, this is perpetuate, this is alert behavior in the home. And women are like, oh no, it has nothing to do with the parenting. 1 (12m 58s): It's just that they, they see all these things on TikTok who monitors what they're watching on TikTok who gives them the phone and lets them just run free and do whatever they want on it. So it's coming back to we are really, I it's devastating how much we are losing our way as women and we wonder why state to state we're losing more rights to our body. We wonder why there are less and less women sitting on boards. We are actually going backwards. My daughter now has less rights over her body than I did when I was 21. My daughter's 21 right now. So we're not actually in any way, shape or form doing anything to preserve or elevate womanhood. We're going back to like, this is Handmaid's tale. We're going back to where women are simply served as functions now of what they can provide. 0 (13m 40s): Yeah. It's interesting because it is who's taking them and and allowing for this. So how do you, because let's say you have a mom that doesn't agree with it and like let's say her daughter is kind of rebelling, so maybe you have a mom that is more natural and the girl is kind of more peer oriented, so she's following her pack or what's normalized in her like ecosystem. It's obviously if that's the case, then that girl doesn't have a sense of identity of who I am. Right? Like there is no actual will there because she's molding to the crowd. So it's how, what are the steps to remove that and to like have her find herself and her authenticity again so that she's not just doing things because everyone else is Right. 1 (14m 21s): Right. It begins in first, first and foremost, no matter what hands down it begins with the mother modeling that, even if that doesn't catch up until years later, but it begins with talking to your daughter. When I started to see my daughter slipping at 15 into this world of like what everybody else was doing and following models and following all the photos of, you know, the girls who had the perfect body or whatever the image was, I started to sit next to her and ask her like, show me like who are you following? Why do you follow that person? Tell me does she inspire you? What about her makes you feel better about yourself? So I started asking questions from a place of curiosity so she could start to p her own curiosity and ask without me saying you shouldn't be following this and that, that's a bad influence. 1 (15m 4s): Teenagers can't hear that if they don't hear it. What I'm helping her do is become an informed and curious consumer. I'm helping her start to like lift up the curtain and say, wait, what's, what's actually behind her? Why am I doing this? At the time she had a, you know, and she was babysitting so it was her money that she was using. But she went through like a period of six or so months. She had these long acrylic nails. She was doing the fake eyelashes, the spray tan coloring her hair, doing all the things. And I just kept like breathing and kept having conversations with her. But never about what you're doing is wrong. Just like, oh, I'm so curious about that. Tell me more. And now at 21, it's been years now, she let go of that. She went through like a phase of six months or a year. 1 (15m 45s): She doesn't do any of it. She doesn't do her nails, she doesn't even really wear makeup. She stopped coloring her, excuse me, her hair years ago. And she wants nothing to do with any of it because one of the phrases that I raised her on is pay more attention to how you feel while you're living your life. Not how you look while you are living your life. And so she's like, when I really started listening to that and paying attention, like it didn't actually feel great to sit there forever and like it actually hurt when they were doing the thing on my nails or you know, getting my hair colored was taking like all of my babysitting money. And then in the end I didn't end up living it anyways. Or then I did think a lot about what you talked about mom and like all the toxins being absorbed into my scalp and it kind of went against how we live so naturally in other ways of our life. 1 (16m 34s): So she, she arrived at it on her own, but I don't believe she would've as readily or easily if I hadn't peaked that level of questioning inside of her. That was my responsibility as a mother to steer her into questioning what, what lives underneath all this. And if she would've remained doing it, that would've been her choice. 0 (16m 53s): But just like make the choice for yourself essentially. Know 1 (16m 56s): What choice you're making, right. Don't just go with like, well everybody's doing this. You know what, everybody also did a lot of things when it came to childbirth and breastfeeding that if I would've gone that way, I would've never had the exquisite experiences I had because I wanted to look at what was possible when I followed my body. And that's very opposite what we do in this country. We tell women to lay back, you don't know what you're doing, you won't be able to handle it. We've got it for you. Did 0 (17m 18s): You have natural births? I did. Amazing. Did you do like the water birth 1 (17m 22s): Or, well my daughter was meant to be a water birth, but by the time the midwife was filling up the tub and I went to get in, I was like, I have to push. So they took me out and put me, I went right onto the bed and I was on all fours and she came right out that way. Oh, that's 0 (17m 35s): Amazing. Good for you. Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible. 1 (17m 38s): I went on to teach natural childbirth for 10 years after that as well just because it was a, a really pivotal point of my life because I'd studied psychology, I have my doctorate and I tapped into something that I'd never learned anywhere else. And it was all of the embodiment and somatic work that is completely missing in a traditional doctoral program. And I think most psychological programs, because the theory is written by Freud and Carl Young and while there's pieces and parts to all of that, if you really understand like where a lot of this theory comes from, it's deeply, deeply patriarchal and damaging to women. And so I was like, wow, I studied all these years and I was practicing under a very patriarchal aligned system. 1 (18m 20s): So when I tapped into my own warrior inside of me, it was only then that I could bring that into the work of women with women in my practice. So 0 (18m 29s): Which practices would you say like, are patriarchal? Like in just like psychology in general? 1 (18m 34s): Yeah. Well when all, so all the theories are written by men. Yeah, yeah. Right. So everything you're reading, psychological theories that are written, you're reading it from a man's perspective. For example, the most recent data, I included this in my book that's coming up next year, they're movie directors. When I first started working on my book a couple years ago and then I put it to the side and then I, I picked it back up again. It was, I think 74% of movie directors were men as of two months ago. 90% of movie directors are men. So even when you think you're being entertained, you're only being entertained through the male perspective. So even Netflix, even the big box movies are the big blockbusters is still a male's story. And it's why I stopped watching TII didn't know that data until about 10 years ago when I really started like searching for myself. 1 (19m 19s): But it's why I stopped watching TV so long ago. It's because it felt so uninspiring to me. The characters were not deeply nuanced. I longed for so much more depth that was so the female characters hardly ever took a lead in when they did it was like cheap love. And she was like, you know, they made her look like she was an idiot. I just, or the only other time she was the lead was when she was had huge boobs and a skin tight outfit and she was a superhero acting like a man. So I started to associate like, oh my god, I see what we're doing. Like even the subliminal messaging, not so subliminal that is happening around every corner for us even when we think we're relaxing. 1 (19m 59s): Hmm. 0 (19m 60s): See I see like a lot of movies where like, I'm so bad with names but like, like Sigourney Weaver I think is like a great example, right? And she did alien and like they didn't try to make her into anything that she like a glamazon that was you know, fighting big, bad, bad aliens. Like she was herself. I think definitely there's a lot of what you're saying. Yeah. But I think you can find a ton of examples where you have like female leads and they're strong. And then also like the strength in being soft is like something that I think is missing more than all the other stuff which is you see women that are being pushed to try to be like men and then that is strength, right? Like, like brute strength instead of what is the strength that is inherently feminine. 0 (20m 41s): Absolutely. You know what I mean? So like I don't have a problem not seeing like a badass woman like taken down a room full of guys. 'cause to me that's not realistic. Like most women 1 (20m 50s): I could care 0 (20m 50s): Cannot do that. I wanna see like a woman that like brings people together because like of her softness and her magnetism and to me I think that's also a strength. 1 (20m 59s): I think that's what's missing. Yeah. 0 (21m 1s): 100. 1 (21m 1s): So I think we're gonna complete agreement because the only time we see women take the lead more often than not it's in a very masculine energy. Even with Sigourney Weaver in that movie that you're talking about, very masculine, she was very masculine presenting. I'm talking about where are the female leaders in that surrender and strength of leadership. That's what a wisdom holder, like a woman who's lived as much life as I have, that's what we bring. Where are the movies where she's the main character? I can't even name, I can't name one off the top of my head. And we'd have to do some research. We could probably find a couple. 0 (21m 30s): Yeah. Sleeping Beauty was a really good one. I, she was a really young actress. I don't know if she, she's done a lot since then. But she did an interview and it went super viral because it was in this, this age of everyone kind of demonizing like love, like it if you want love as a woman, that means you must be weak and somehow missing something. So to admit that you wanted partnership meant that you were in the patriarchy, right? Like you're anti-feminist if you wanted love. And to me I think that's really silly 'cause I think we're supposed to experience life together and create and co-create together. And she unapologetically was just like soft and feminine and she's like, I don't need a sword to be strong. You know? And I highly recommend someone check out that interview 'cause it was so, so good. 0 (22m 13s): And I wish that there were more examples like that. And then you see this like resistance in this fight to being a woman now. Because I think people think it's, they see vulnerability as weakness when it's the opposite. It's like such a 1 (22m 26s): Strength. The absolute opposite. I taught about that in my retreat this weekend is that the vulnerability is the power. Oh. And I, because I think we've been confused or raised to believe that if we were vulnerable, there's a lot of language around. She's crazy. She's, and, and I'm not talking about dysregulated emotions. I have Yeah. Epic emotional hygiene practices. Because my responsibility is not to leak out any of what I'm going through in my personal life onto my children, onto my clients, into this interview, onto my partner. My goal is to stay emotionally hygienic so that I'm squeaky clean in all the places that I show up. And that means I have to show up in like the things that are hard and that where I'm feeling vulnerability or where I'm feeling uncertain. 1 (23m 12s): And to own that even in my relationship is the, and I've been married for 28 years. It is what has kept us together. It is the most powerful beautiful frequency. When the version of me 15 years ago would be like, no, no, I'm, I'm good. I got it. I got it all. No, don't worry about it. But inside I was wanting something different, but I wanted him to believe like, oh my gosh, she's, she's like got it all figured out. She's just amazing. Because I thought that was what was more appealing. And then it was only 15 years ago when I stepped into this totally different archetype and like the way I wanted to be in my life in every space and place was that vulnerable power. And that is what I've seen be the game changer for my life, my business and what I teach to my clients and the changes for their lives. 1 (23m 56s): So I think we have had that feeling of like, we had to be just like men to take up the space or have a voice that, 0 (24m 3s): Or lean in like that book. And I'm like, that's such terrible advice. Like you're telling women to be men in order to be successful and we're never going to be. And then it creates I think more animosity between the sexes because they don't see you Now, did you ever read the book Queens Code? Yes. 1 (24m 18s): It's 0 (24m 19s): One of my favorite books. Yes. And she gives an example of this like corporate woman and how she was in her masculine and trying to be a man and trying to like domineer these guys instead of going in and like leaning in with her femininity. And then that was the thing that like brought the team together and then the numbers started like skyrocketing. And it's because she wasn't trying to be a man and compete with them anymore. And now they were complimenting each other. Yes. And that's what we're supposed to be doing. So for me, what I love is like when I see people that are trying to like make women be the best versions of the, of themselves and men be the best versions of themselves without like demonizing the other sex. And it's like taking full accountability for your reality and the way people treat you. 0 (24m 58s): Right? Like, okay, how, how am I, how am I asking for this in a weird way? Like how's it serving me? Mm. And then working on myself and then in that self-development, like you'll notice everything else around you start to shift. Yes. You know what I mean? 1 (25m 13s): Absolutely. Because the universe sees your level of radical responsibility for yourself and the role you play in every dynamic. And so then things start to come in alignment for you in a way that isn't so much more service to you as a person because the universe knows you can handle more and they bring these beautiful things that's happened over and over again in my life. And I'm a firm believer of radical responsibility. Even this weekend I was teaching the women about this idea of getting triggered by other women. Every single time you get triggered by another woman to take a couple of breaths and ask yourself what does she have or represent that I so wish I had more of. Because almost always there is a gift inside of there. 1 (25m 56s): There's something you can learn to deepen into who you are. And I had a woman reach out to me this morning and say, and a couple of them happened real time, but one woman's like, yeah, when you said that I thought, no, there's, there's nobody. And I even asked them to look around the room and see who in that room they felt triggered by after those couple of days. And she's like, I looked around the room and I was like, yeah, there's just one woman I'm triggered by. And she said, and on the plane ride home yesterday, the more I thought about it, I understood why I was so triggered by her. I was so triggered by her level of freedom and how she expresses herself in every way, shape and form. And I realize I'm very repressed and she triggered that part of me and I wanted to make her wrong, but in reality I wish I could be as free as she is. 1 (26m 39s): Mm. So it's like every time we feel that trigger and, and that's where that sisterhood wound comes into. Like we get the sisterhood wound because we experienced, you know, whatever we experienced with our mothers and we just keep perpetuating this women against women in the competition. And I think we're actually our own worst enemies go through 0 (26m 58s): The comment section. It's women to women. It's usually women being way worse and it's fun. So I used to be in the adult industry. Yes. I've been out for longer than I was in and it, I'm not, it is a very complicated industry. It is not all good. It is not all bad. Like you could spend years dissecting all of the different layers to it. But something that people say kind of blank stately is that it perpetuates like a bad body image for women. And I, that is one thing I will die on this hill. I think it's the opposite because if you watch adult entertainment porn, there are all different bodies, all different kinds of like hair, no hair, something in between. 0 (27m 43s): And you'll have girls that are plus size that have massive audiences and people telling them how beautiful they are. Mm. You'll have flat chested girls with the same thing and everything in between. So I actually think for me it taught me like all kinds of bodies are beautiful. Mm. Like someone, everyone, someone will find that beautiful. Yes. And it's the women that are like, you are fat. That's cellulite, that's too small. Look at like whatever. Like I find in my experience and throughout all of my years shooting, it was always women that were the most critical of other women and men finding like everything that I would say is a flaw hot. And they're like, I love that wrinkle on your face and my favorite thing about you. 0 (28m 26s): Like what are you talking about? You know what I mean? So I think it, we are kind of Bill Mark calls it zombie lies, which I love. It's like, it's something that used to maybe be true but no longer is. So like maybe that wasn't the case. Like where men like really only wanted the Kate Moss thing. But I can tell you that is not true anymore. Like widely, it's not true. Mm. 1 (28m 47s): Yeah. I think that we have built a storyline of what we think is perfect or acceptable and getting it, it, it's such an interesting conversation because it's like where is the root of us needing to feel so perfect and so flawless. You know? And I think that in my surrender of this aging, my husband's six years older than me and it wasn't even a conversation as as he was aging. It was just, it was just a fact of life. It was fascinating. We have a pretty large friend group and everyone's about the same age. So as the guys were aging, I mean it was like, it wasn't, it was a non-event. It was just life. Right? It was just another year. It was another decade. But when the women started approaching their forties, that's when the conversation started. 1 (29m 29s): And I thought, what is happening here? Why are we doing this? And women would say things like, well what if I'm just worried that my husband's not going to be attracted to me anymore? And what I heard underneath that is the threat of like feeling threatened that he might find other women attractive and wanna be with them instead. And I remember thinking, this is so sad that you think that so much of what keeps you together in your relationship is his level of is actually, let's be honest, your level of youthfulness. Because I'm sure the connection between a couple like that who's been together that long, there's so much more inside of that. Yeah. And so when my husband, he said something to me a couple weeks ago and he said, you know what I think is the most incredible thing about having been together so long is he said, I, it's, I still sometimes I walk in the room and I see the 21-year-old girl that I met in the airport and then there's this really fast movie that plays all the way up to now and he can barely even say it without getting emotional. 1 (30m 29s): He's like, and I see our whole life in between. I see all the phases of you and all the stages of who you've been as a woman. And he said, and now like he loves this phase that I'm in so much he finds it to be, he's like it Amanda, it is so powerful. Like to watch you walk into the room just the way you are so unapologetic where so many of the women in our, my group, let's just say it's just a different, they're having a different experience. Right. And he's like, I see power when you walk into the room because you're not hiding anything. And it, it just lands very, very differently than the posing that a lot of people do. And so I, I do think that we tell these stories in our own head that we are not gonna be as lovable. 1 (31m 11s): That's how little we think of ourselves. And I see it play out even more for women who have not developed any sense of career for themselves. I see that their looks are one of the only things they feel they have to offer the world and their youthfulness. And when it's slipping they feel like they're dying. 0 (31m 30s): Yeah, it does. It feels, because you also are inundated with all of this content that like, it's so awful. It's mostly the red pill community and I know that is not most men. Like I have two boys, 1 (31m 41s): I don't even know what that is. Oh, you don't know what that is? No. I just heard somebody reference that the other day and Oh, I didn't have a chance to ask, let 0 (31m 47s): Fill you in. Tell 1 (31m 48s): This 0 (31m 48s): Is the second time it's so toxic. It's, and I do not, I wanna preface like I do not think this is most men. Like I love men do I, I've got two boys. My husband is incredible. I just, I think that they're amazing. I do not think this is an accurate represent representation of men. But there is this pocket in the internet ecosystem, it's called Red Pilled. And it started off 'cause like, you know in the matrix there's a blue pill where you wanna be kind of lied to and have the delicious steak that's not real. Or you take the red pill and it's like reality. Yes. You want the real thing. Yes. So it started off there and it kind of took on a life of itself, which now it's like these caricatures of what a masculine man is, which is, he has like a harem of women and he is not expected to be faithful because like he's supposed to spread his seed. 0 (32m 41s): So kind of warping evolutionary psychology to fit a narrative. Women are supposed to be faithful always and not work and just have babies and be very like trad archetype. Not expect loyalty, not expect monogamy. What's another big takeaway? Women expire after 25. Oh so hard expiration date under no circumstances. A woman over 25 as attractive as a woman that is 25 or younger that ideally you want virgins only. So 1 (33m 18s): It's like pedophilia almost. 0 (33m 19s): It's, it's like, it's very like, it feels very manipulative. Like you said an older woman, she has life experience so she's not gonna put up with bullshit or she's gonna see something dangerous before it happens where you can more easily get what you want out of a younger less experienced girl. Right. And it's just, it's very predatorial. It feels like 1 (33m 39s): Very predatorial and it sounds like the, oh wow, I have not heard anything about this. And so this is very prevalent. You'll 0 (33m 48s): See it like if you scroll and I know algorithms based off of like so many things, but I see it a lot and it's crazy to me because even just looking at myself anecdotally, I feel more attractive now at 35 than I did at 25. Yes. And even if that's not objectively true, right. To like the do a poll or whatever, that doesn't matter. Like I myself feel more confident and I feel more like just like a woman than I did then. Like I, in my twenties it was so much, so much external chatter and internal chatter and like what do they think? How am I gonna look here? Like is like so much anxiety Yes. Of it just simply existing. Yes. And now I'm like, it's okay. 0 (34m 29s): And I can look at my body in a much healthier way than I did then. It's still not, I'm a long way to go but it is still is so much better than when I was in my twenties. So I don't know. It's like what do you, when you tell men that like get rid of a woman after 25, you're missing that whole story, like that whole life story that you just explained. Like your husband's saying he sees you and then it speeds up and like he can appreciate all of you, all of the versions of you. And that's so beautiful. 1 (34m 59s): I just don't think it's as valued, 0 (35m 2s): I think in pockets. In pockets for 1 (35m 3s): Sure. Exactly. In the red pill community. Right. That's not valued. 0 (35m 6s): It's not even seen. 1 (35m 7s): It's the infantilization of women. And I really believe what lives under that is because what woman who's really lived some life is gonna ever say yes to that. Which woman is gonna sign up and be like, that sounds like a great idea. Yeah, I'd love to be a part part 0 (35m 21s): Of it. No self worth. Yeah. 1 (35m 22s): You know, so I think it's the younger they are, the more we can delude them, the more we can control them, manipulate them and get exactly what we want. And I also think how much suffering must live inside of those men who choose to live like that. Because I think every human, whether they wanna admit it or not, I think every human wants to have at least one legendary love wants to be known and so beautifully cared for and rallied for in, in every aspect of their experiences as a human being. I can't imagine that's deeply satisfying. Mm. For those men and certainly not for the long run. 0 (35m 57s): No, I'd say it's an aversion to like real vulnerability. Right? Absolutely. And like having someone actually see you like that's terrifying. Absolutely. 'cause then if they see you and then reject you, then you are rejected. So the antidote to that is just not to be seen. 1 (36m 9s): That's exactly right. That's exactly right. So 0 (36m 12s): There was this, I don't know if you saw, there was this clip of Pamela Anderson who I just adore her and I love, like even her recent story and her vulnerability in coming out with her docus docuseries or documentary. And she was getting ready for some event and she's very no makeup now. Like she just does skincare and she'll show you her skincare and she goes to like Paris Fashion Week with no makeup. 1 (36m 34s): I've seen that 0 (36m 34s): And gets like celebrated. And you're like, it's her face and Oh yeah. But if the, you almost wanna say it's not brave 'cause it's her face, but then when you see the comments you're like, whoa, it actually really is because she was getting retweeted and commented and they were like, what happened to her? And she's still so beautiful and not that my opinion should matter, I think she's still so beautiful, but she's older, she's old, she's not still 20. And it's like almost the more beautiful a woman was in her prime, the more she gets punished for having time catch up to her. 0 (37m 14s): Whereas like if you were more of like a, I don't know, like an average, like you weren't a sex symbol, then you're almost allowed a little bit more grace in that. But if you, how dare you commodified your beauty, you somehow now have to hold it on hold onto it forever. And I don't understand that 1 (37m 29s): Because the, it's like how dare you be human is really the message, right? Yeah. How dare you actually be a human being who ages because we, we wanted to look at you and feel something and you're letting us down. So even when I've shared different information online, people are like that. That's not who I thought you were. Or it's fascinating how strangers have an expectation of who you need to be. And the moment anything does not live up to what they need you to be, for them to feel relevant, to feel whatever, to have their need met, then all of a sudden you are somehow wrong for existing or being human or having a different experience. And so what she's really being punished for is being human because the expectation is at, at all costs, you will uphold that, that beauty and that youthfulness because we expect you to, you're Pamela Anderson. 1 (38m 14s): Yeah. You're not allowed. And if Pamela Anderson ages and it shows, oh shit, what does that mean for the rest of us? Yeah. Like, oh my god. Right? Yeah. So I see it as like such an ex incredible thing that she's doing. And yet I, I understand also that there is gonna be those kinds of comments. I, this is super, super occasional and quite rare actually. But every once in a while I will have a man who feels, and I, and I know where it's coming from. He's got no profile picture, his name is like user 3, 2, 7, 1 or whatever. And he's always the one who's like, okay grandma, nobody really cares. I'm like, oh, of course, of course. It's always the man who, who can't handle hearing a woman who has wisdom speak about something that may be coming up against a way you would have to consider changing as a man. 1 (39m 3s): But yeah, people will always have expectations of who we're supposed to be and it's just like, we just have to keep doing our work. 0 (39m 9s): So talking about doing the work, I would love to hear about your retreat that you just had. And I guess my, I haven't done like a ton of psychedelic medicine. Like I've done like two different journeys and like the most recent one was like the most intense one. And you said that you had someone come up to you and like, are these women on ayahuasca? Because like they were having such big breakthroughs. Yeah. It's like how do you, because I do believe it's all inside. Like I don't think you need to take anything to have these transformative experiences. I just think maybe some people like need a bigger kick in the butt and like that's what psychedelics can kind of offer as a jumpstart that 1 (39m 47s): Sure. And it gets that, that part of your brain out of the way so it can really start to Right. Come to the forefront. 0 (39m 52s): So I guess for someone who's trying to do this without anything like taking anything externally, like what is the process to like embody it? Because that's the the trick. Like I, I have intellectually known so much of the things that yes I discovered yes, but I embody them last week. And that is a different world. 1 (40m 10s): You are exactly right. It's a completely different story. And it's why I really moved my work out of the private practice talk therapy scene because I recognize there were limitations. There's only so far we can go. Verbal processing is amazing, but it only takes us so far. We can only talk about the thing your dad said to you so many times. We can only see that that was his fear, his this, his that. Right? How many times are we gonna talk about it before you have an experience that either releases it or in some cases dependent on experiences, alchemizes it and turn takes that fossil fuel that's been stuck inside of you and turns it into renewable energy for your life. So I take women, it would be nearly impossible for me to explain what I do in this podcast. 1 (40m 52s): And in all truth, it's almost would be a dishonor of the work to try to to to explain it. It is, I will say this extremely intense, very, very powerful. I hold a huge safety in that room. I I I spend a day almost a better part of a day creating a profound trust and safety. Not trust in me, trust in themselves. So ceremonially, I get them there to this place where I then demonstrate and lead, it's essentially rage release practices and grief release practices that we channel. And there's, there are two, no, there's three steps that build it to get there. And then I demonstrate it. I'm very vulnerable and I tell them like, okay, this is what I'm releasing right now. 1 (41m 34s): Sometimes it's something from the past. Sometimes it's collective rage and pain for the world and, and for women and children especially. But I take them through this process and we have buckets everywhere. And I, I normalize that it has taken such a huge energetic frequency to push this down, to put pad that in the back of your unconscious mind that what you're gonna notice is as we do this, you might start to feel the vomit wanna come up. You might start to feel that you have to rip your clothes off. You might start screaming, you might start thrashing. No. That is the pain. Finally feeling safe to come out. And when you do this in groups of women, it is profound because the more one woman vomits or screams, it gives permission for the woman next to her to release a little deeper. 1 (42m 17s): And so then we've got a whole room full of women just letting, not just their pain out, but the collective pain of thousands of years of women and what we have been carrying. So it's the pain also of your mother from when you were in her womb and in your grandmother when you were actually in your mom's ovaries. 'cause she already had all of her eggs and the potentiality of you already lived inside of even your grandmother when you were inside of your mom when she was a fetus in your grandmother and all the way back. So we are, because I say, women often say to me, it feels so big, Amanda, it feels so overwhelming. And I said, because it's not just yours. Mm. You are carrying pain that is on behalf of all women who've ever walked in this world and are, and women who are. And we dedicate all of my retreats to women who will never have access to this work, that will never have the privilege or opportunity to sit in a room like this and do this work. 1 (43m 4s): We're dedicating it not just to the little maidens inside of us who we abandoned, but for every woman in the world. And so that release is, feels so big and is so big because it's thousands of years of pain that's been carried and stored inside of ourselves. Yeah. 0 (43m 20s): So I, I love all of that. And I think before I started getting into all of this, I would've been so skeptical. Yeah. And the first time that I saw like those release practices, I was very judgmental and I really thought it was like a lot of attention seeking behavior. Mm. And there was nothing to it. And then I did it. Yeah. And I was like, well, I can't judge it if I don't try it first. I love that. So I did it and I was like, oh my gosh. And like how long it even lasted. And I think it needs to be a regular practice because it stuff just ke it. It's almost like if you had all of these fish and those were in different levels of your consciousness and you cast a net and you swoop some up, you think you just cleared it out. 0 (44m 4s): But all that happened is some of the fish moved up and then there's more coming. Right. Right. So you think that you're clear now and you might be for a time, but it's just, it's 'cause the other stuff hasn't moved up to your consciousness yet. That's exactly right. So it, I think it needs to be regular when this happens. It's like you're experiencing life differently. Yeah. Like for me, my, my body feels different when I have sex with my husband. It's, I'm like, the other thing I was doing was not this. Like, we're doing something different. Yes. And it's because I'm safe. I now, I now feel safe. So now I'm not allowed to be in my body. And how unsafe I have felt for probably my whole life. I had no idea because I have just numbed myself to the point where I'm like, this is functioning, this is normal. 0 (44m 48s): Right. Instead of being really tuned into myself, which has been screaming pretty much my whole life. Mm. Like you are not safe and you need to slow down. And I think that was kind of the biggest lesson that I had from last week. And it's funny 'cause right before you got here, I had a phone call with like my doctor. It's like private healthcare and they're amazing. And she, the woman was talking to me about my cortisol and she's like, how do you feel? Like, do you feel stressed? I go, if I'm being honest, no, I don't feel stressed. What's happened is I've convinced myself I'm not stressed. And she started laughing. She's like, I'm so glad that you have that awareness because like your body's saying you are like chronically stressed. 0 (45m 29s): And she's like trying to help me with like meditation and breath work and these kinds of things. But if I didn't do this panel that is objective saying you are in fight or flight for far too long, my mind, which I've learned I cannot trust, is the biggest liar that I've ever met. My mind is telling me it's all good, you've got this and how much that's affected even just like my marriage because it's this, I've got this. Instead of seeing this person who loves you like infinitely and he's like, I will help shoulder this, but because of my own past, I don't trust that I can, you know, delegate it in any way. Yes, yes. And I'm sure you probably saw a lot of that. I think that's probably a huge common tra like trauma or narrative that a lot of women have is like, I ha I'm shouldering all of this. 0 (46m 15s): And like lack of trust. Lack of safety. 1 (46m 17s): Yes. And oftentimes the childhood experience was I couldn't trust and the people that I was supposed to quote unquote trust the most let me down. And so I think often that's where that experience of these primary people in your life, when they let you down or worse off, they abuse you. You learn that the world is not safe and that is not an overnight undoing. Yeah. That process takes time. And you're exactly right. Like your analogy with the fish is so beautiful. One of the things that I always think about is like every day I don't, I don't get up this morning and say, well you know what? I brushed my teeth three days ago. I don't need to brush 'em today. I get up and I brush my teeth every single day because there's that buildup, right? I floss my teeth. 1 (46m 59s): And if I wanna take it even a step further, maybe I, you know, I do some tongue scraping. If I wanna take it a step further, I swish with coconut oil. You know, I do the oil pooling. So there are levels at which I can clean my mouth. And I think it's fascinating that we often don't think about how we clean and clear all of the emotional buildup that happens over decades and decades and how we become offensive. We become unapproachable, we become all of these things, or we spill over into other people unknowingly because we're not emotionally hygienic. So just in the way we teach children oral hygiene, we don't teach them anything about sourcing their emotions. 1 (47m 39s): But if you watch a 2-year-old have a temper tantrum in a grocery store, you're like, they know exactly that's 0 (47m 44s): They're doing. 1 (47m 45s): That's what how to be in the moment or an animal in the woods, like how they shake and clear it and then they keep going. But we somehow, as we get into, like for girls, the data shows after around the age of 10 years old, she starts losing connection to who she just inherently is and starts performing. At 10 years old, she starts to perform to be pleasing, to be chosen to be loved. And so when you spend the majority of your life then thereafter performing it is so hard to have a connection to your body. Before I came here, I have a lot of clients in Boxer who work with me just through voice messaging every day. And one of my clients just said to me, Amanda, since doing this work, I have noticed, I feel like I'm channeling my whole life now. 1 (48m 28s): My business is being channeled, my relationship is being channeled. What I want to eat, my body the way I move. I'm just channeling where before I was thinking from my logical brain and to surrender into this, how is it possible my body knows everything that I need to be doing next when I feel, 'cause I talk about how I intuitively feel my way through everything. You know, there have been a handful of other podcasts that wanted to fly me to different places in the last couple of weeks. And it was a no for me. And I don't know why or how, I can't even explain it to you. I just intuitively there's feelings of like, no, I wanna say yes to this one. I wanna say no to that one. And I just know I don't go into like all this research, I do a quick dive, I talk to my team and I'm like, yeah, I said yes to this one. 1 (49m 11s): I said no to all of these ones. And they're like, well, why? I'm like, I can't explain it to you. It's just, I just know there's a trust and a knowing this is where I need to be. Mm. 0 (49m 20s): No, I absolutely, absolutely. But you can't get there if you're not clear. You can't because there's no connectivity there. No. So the gentleman I had on just a few days ago, he was the one that facilitated the journey. Yes. And he was talking about like, there's like 50 times more information sent from your heart to your brain, then your brain to your heart. Mm. And if there's a blockage there, you're missing out on so much of that information. And what he taught me to do was like self muscle testing. Right. So yes to, if you're asking I know, 1 (49m 52s): Muscle testing. 0 (49m 52s): Yeah. It's amazing. Yeah, it is amazing. And one of those things, I would've said nonsense before I did it. Right. And you cannot, like all of that somatic stuff, I am like, I need to do a deep dive and I'm, I wanna learn so much more because I firsthand experienced it and I just know it to be true now. Yes. So I just did the same thing. I had this really a big event in September that we got invited to, and I was asking who I wanted to invite and my husband's like, we have two extra tickets. Do you wanna invite? And it was like a toss up. And one of them I was thinking, this is who I should invite. Mm. And the other one, I was like, I wanted to be there. Like I knew that, knew that, but I was like, let's do the muscle test. And it was like night and day and I was, I'm gonna honor this and I'm gonna listen to my body. 0 (50m 33s): And again, going to like for me specifically how much I can't trust my mind, I think the way that my husband kind of broke it down for me is like, yes, your body is obviously like a very clear channel right now. So listen to that. But the other flip side is, is that now there's a beautiful opportunity to control the mind and like, oh, and you do that through meditation and breath work. So it's saying this isn't where it necessarily needs to be. Like you're getting almost too much stuff that's not yours. It's not meant for you. And that's what's getting in your own way. So until you can master the mind, not control, I should say master the mind, listen to your body, honor that, but also like do what is necessary to get rid of a lot of that chatter and a lot of that just like distraction. 0 (51m 16s): Yes. Right. Because I think coherence is probably the goal, like body, mind, spirit. So right now body's the tool I have. That's what's working. Yes. So lean into that, but now opportunity to work on mind and spirit to get everything coherent. 1 (51m 29s): Yes, absolutely. And I think that, you know, I take women through and they start working with me a really beautiful womb meditation because I think for women there is a connection to the, there's that infinite portal, like the potentiality of the universe, literally inside of a woman's body. The creation and possibility that it is housed there. That infinite creativity that we don't source from at all. We are so disconnected from. And you can see it with the levels of endometriosis and fibroids and cancer and all of the things that happen for women because we are so disconnected. There's so much shame that lives between a woman's hip, like from her navel down, like the amount of shame that is coded there for women. 1 (52m 10s): And so I think connecting women in my work, connecting them first and foremost to their womb, even if they've had a hysterectomy to that womb space, all of that power still lives there. That is when I see my clients begin to blossom and open into ways of, that they never even could have imagined or expected for themselves. Because they're trusting from that internal GPS, that internal source code that in, in a very patriarchal world with very, very few female role models and leaders, we still don't have languaging that is just for women on these kinds of journeys. So one of my friends, my best friend, we were driving, we were going off grid in October in New Mexico to go camping for a couple of days. 1 (52m 53s): And she's driving and she's telling me about this book she read and this podcast she listened to. And at one point I stopped and I looked at her and I said, why do you never learn from women? Why is it every time you talk about something you read or listen to, it's always a man Where and where are the female leaders that you drive from and like learn from and get inspired by? And she looked at me and she's like, oh my gosh, I never even thought about that. So her and I really went on this deep dive. We're like, where are the female leaders? Name them name like the big revolutionary, like public intellectuals, thought leaders, thought changers, movers, makers for women in a way that brings that power and internal growth and spirituality all online. 1 (53m 38s): Where are they? 0 (53m 39s): I would say the only one I can think of that I, that I think is doing it the way that you're describing is probably Gabby Reese. She's Laird Hamilton's wife. So she's, I think her lens is feminine and like it's, yeah, like self developments through her perspective, which I think is beautiful. I think a lot of the women that I'm even thinking of now, even though really popular ones, like it's still very masculine. It's very masculine. So it's like driven like, like boxes to kind of tick. And you know, we both have, we all have both. And I think it's balance looks different in everybody. But I think most women, and correct me if you disagree, but I think most women are in their masculine, so Oh, absolutely. 0 (54m 24s): So if you are already there and then you're consuming everything that's masculine, you're compounding it. So while I think there's always like a time and space that you will need to tap into that for sure, of 1 (54m 36s): Course. 0 (54m 36s): But it's like, don't live there so you have to balance back out. So where, where are you creating that balance for yourself? And it's so hard because besides Gabby, I don't really know like feminine women in this space that I'm like, I wanna learn from. Right? 1 (54m 52s): And that is such a huge deficit. I'm all for all of this growth that we are talking about, but I am exhausted listening to men tell me about an experience that I can't incorporate and I can't really reach for. There are elements here and there. Yes. But I have yet to find that woman that takes me on this incredible journey inside of my feminine power. I already know I've got my masculine figured out. I already know, you know, I know what I'm doing there. For the most part, I have, I could probably surrender into a little bit more of the divine masculine. Sometimes it's a little bit wounded in like this perfectionism and it's all gotta be done a certain way. It's sometimes running the back end of my business. But I am really, and that's why I'm so excited about this work and I'm so excited about what's happening in this work because I just feel like week by week these women and I have a global community of women. 1 (55m 40s): I, my clients are all over the world, are waking up and it's honestly like they're waking up from a decades long slumber. I, I literally see it in them and I can hear it. Their voices change the way they speak, the pace at which they speak, the level of orgasm that they're experiencing in their life, the way they walk, the way they don't have to fill the space with an, you know, just because it's uncomfortable. I mean everything. And then the beauty after the like after that is how the relationships that they partake in get to also then blossom into something even better than they've ever imagined. But I am really ravenous for that kind of female leadership. 1 (56m 22s): And when I didn't find her and I didn't find her, I was like, well, I'll just keep becoming her. 0 (56m 28s): Absolutely. We 1 (56m 28s): Become the thing that we so need, right? 0 (56m 30s): Absolutely. Yeah. If something's not there, create it. Yes. 1 (56m 34s): Yes. 0 (56m 34s): And that's again, something that's like really, I think it special to the, the feminine is, is creation. And one example, and it sounds so silly because maybe someone's listening and they're like, you're nitpicking and there's nothing different. If you're listening to a someone who has something to offer and they're a man, it's not different than if it's a woman. And this is where I'll challenge somebody, is as simple, simple as this habit stacking that everyone is so crazy for, to create better habits. And they talk about just wake up an hour early and then do your cold plunge and then do your, your journaling and all of this stuff. And it's that simple. It's that simple just setting your alarm clock an hour earlier. 0 (57m 16s): That's not true for a lot of women because they take on the majority of the childcare, especially upfront. And if you're breastfeeding, forget about it. There's no such thing as a schedule as let alone one that's predictable. So I if, and this is a meme that is just famous on the internet. It's saying, me as a mom wanting to have 10 minutes to myself to have coffee. So I set my alarm 10 minutes earlier and then it's your toddler staring at you. Yeah. It's like they knew you changed your time somehow so you could wake up an hour earlier. And I almost guarantee the baby or the toddler is gonna wake up an hour earlier with you, even if you're quiet as a mouse. So for women it's not this discipline and the structure, it's actually the opposite. 0 (57m 57s): It's flow and surrender. So, oh, okay, they're up early with me. We're, we're just gonna go with the day. Where can I flow and have and squeeze these things in for myself? Where can I like do this in a place of surrender and not trying to control everything. Yes. And then that's what I think is going to balance your hormones and your mood and help you recover from things from postpartum. Not like this stringent. 1 (58m 21s): Yes. And if you read the book, invisible Women, it is incredible. And it is prolific in, I've never read a book that had so much data and research to back pretty much every single sentence that she wrote, but it talks about how all of those theories and all of the diets and the regimes and workout schedules and the cold plunge and the supplements, all of it has been tested on the bodies of men because men, men have the same, they're not, they're cycles not changing like a woman, right? Right. Like women are changing our cycle so often. So we're very hard to study because we're not all the same. But men because they don't have the hormone fluctuation, they study men and then they do that, they toss like the blanket and say, okay, that's like cast that. 1 (59m 6s): It's for everybody. This is the research that we've shown. This is the best way to achieve these things. And I mean, on my cycle, like I don't have to, I can't even fathom we have a cold plunge. I, I do it occasionally when I feel like it. My husband does it almost every, like, he does it like every other day. I can't fathom on a day that I'm bleeding. There's any desire to get into that cold plunge. I mean that is like the most off. And, and I remember my daughter, oh my gosh, my daughter's unbelievable. Her boyfriend, she was on her period a couple of months ago and they were all at the house and her boyfriend was gonna use the cold plunge. And they were all, and my sons, everybody was going back there and she's like, oh, there's just no way. She's like, I can't, I'm on my period. 1 (59m 46s): And he's like, you know, sometimes you gotta make yourself uncomfortable. And she looked at him and she's like, you know, unlike you who needs to fabricate a place to be uncomfortable in your life, I wake up as a woman every day. I already am uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable when I walk to my car late at night. I'm uncomfortable when I'm walking across campus and I'm alone. I am coming into my apartment. I am uncomfortable when I have cramps every month. So no, I'm good. I don't really need to force uncomfortable moments on my life. I, I live with them. I was like, oh wow. It's just so potent when you think of it through that lens. And so she is in complete, like, I have no desire. I don't have to prove or perform for anybody. I just have no desire to do that. 1 (1h 0m 26s): Nothing in my body says, yeah, I'm gonna try that. 0 (1h 0m 30s): Yeah. I think that's where a lot of what they call a cross-sex mind reading comes in. So it's, men exist in this space where their physical safety isn't normally at risk and they don't see it because it, it's not their reality mostly speaking. Right. For women it's the opposite. All those things that you said are so true and most girls are taught this to keep them safe. Don't go down the this alley, make sure that there's a light, have your phone all of it, check your door, close your windows. And this leads us to a state of being in constant fight or flight and we get these autoimmune issues and we wonder why it's so much more prevalent in women. It's because we don't feel safe. 0 (1h 1m 11s): But not to blame men because most men I most men are good. It is a small percentage that are dangerous and violent and for the good men they don't understand. So it's the thing that's helped me a lot was having that conversation with my husband, like this is the reality that a lot of women live in. So if a woman, they say like, women are more critical when the man is driving because of that. So she's just more hyper aware of the risks and he doesn't, so just him being like, I've got this and just like letting you know that you are safe. So that validation of like, I am here. Like I've got you and then you can let go. Sometimes that just needs to be verbalized and then the woman can relax. 0 (1h 1m 53s): Yeah. So it's not to make her feel like shit because you're obviously safe and it's not to make him feel like shit. Like you should know. It's like how can we work together? Yes. So that I can know that you've got this and I can relax and then he is gonna wanna do that. Most men are gonna be light up for that opportunity to show up for their woman and be like, I've got you baby. Yes. You know, so just to have more open communication and not with like blame or judgment and just like, this is just what it is and I just, this is what I need. Yes. And then he'll be like, I'm so happy to give that to you. 1 (1h 2m 26s): Absolutely. That is something that my husband says to me over and over again. He's like, I love this version of you the past 15 years that just can say, Hey, this is what I'm feeling right now and I think like the best way for you to support me through this is X, Y, or Z. He's like, because before I felt like it was one big guessing game and I was trying to be a mind reader and more often than not I was doing all the wrong things. But I was in that princess energy of like, well he should just know how he should figure it out. Right. Like, I didn't wanna own, I didn't wanna have that vulnerability. I didn't, I didn't wanna showcase that because I had mistaken that that vulnerability was weakness. Yeah. I didn't actually understand that it was powerful to be able to hold the frequency of it and say this is what I need. 0 (1h 3m 5s): I totally agree. That was me for a lot of my life. And I was reading, I'm reading this book, it's called Raising Lions. It's amazing for anyone that has kids who are, is working with children and he talks about the power of V vulnerability and where that falls into kind of a hierarchical system. So you'll have someone who's maybe the beta or a smaller PAC member and what you'll see with wolves is they'll go on their back and expose everything vulnerable. What a healthy leader, health healthy alpha will do is come over and now take responsibility for that vulnerability and take care of and protect. What you'll see in unhealthy, or what you would call like a shadow masculine is I'm now gonna rip out that jugular and I'm gonna take advantage of the spots that you just showed me. 0 (1h 3m 49s): So given I think a lot of people, including myself, the way that I have just lived life, it has taught me that if I do that, it's gonna be used against me. Yeah. So it had, it created all of these barriers and of of ways for people to love me. Like I'm like, I'm not going to let you because it, I know it inevitably will be used against me. And understanding that's not normal and that's not healthy. What is supposed to happen is actually the other thing which is like that empowering, like coming together and like taking care of Yes. So like vulnerability is the bravest thing you can do. 1 (1h 4m 22s): It is the bravest thing to lay on your back and be like, I'm gonna show you all of me. Right. And I'm gonna trust that you're gonna be the right people will be able to receive that. And there, there are very few people in life that we do that for. But yeah, I, I just, you know, it's interesting because at the end of my retreat yesterday, a lot of the women, they were all like, came up and were standing in line to say different things and they were saying, I've, I've done so much different kinds of work Amanda, I've been to so many events I've been to, I've read every book and I haven't ever experienced a leader with so much vulnerability as you and the way that you, everything you teach us, you don't just demonstrate it like you go and they can see like I, I enter like a different state. 1 (1h 5m 3s): I I go into it, I share a lot about my personal life. There were some very vulnerable, beautiful, very tearful moments. But I don't believe that good leadership is on a pillar. I don't believe that the, the alpha and my, my belief is how I experience, I wouldn't even say like, I just wanna say my leadership, all my leadership is I'm op, I'm an open channel. Like I am this channel that is open and receiving from the divine and my, my responsibility in the world is to share that with more women. So I was saying to them at the opening of the retreat that unlike a lot of leaders, I'll never be pedestal. I, that's why at the retreat center I went to and there were other retreats going on over the weekend and we peeked into the other rooms to see, they had asked me, you know, we're gonna make the st we'll build the stage and then everyone will sit down there. 1 (1h 5m 49s): And I said, no, no, no, I don't sit on stages. I sit with the people in a circle with the women. I wanna be on the floor with them because I am just in such belief that I'm just sharing wisdom that's coming through me. That I'm not the owner of this wisdom. It's just my lived experience that I can share with them. And I think that that is what we are lacking so much of in in leadership as well is that that surrendered feminine yet so powerful at the same exact time that will walk you through things and you'll feel women said to me, I've never in my life felt that safe at a retreat before. I've done so many things. And that was the safest I ever felt. And that was also the deepest I was able ever able to go. 1 (1h 6m 30s): And I'm like, right, because you felt the safety. And I believe that in leadership we can build safety through vulnerability and we can build in impeccable leadership through raw vulnerability. And we, I don't see much of that in a lot of the leaders that I see right now. 0 (1h 6m 48s): So you have these retreats and these women have these awesome breakthroughs. What's the integration process like? 1 (1h 6m 55s): Yeah, so they have three months with me in my community. So they're all like entering today. My team is putting them in there today because integration is so essential to go and have a huge transformation and an energetic move through you like that. And then just be like, okay, thanks for coming. See ya. 0 (1h 7m 11s): Yeah. If you wanna see me again, it'll be another whatever. 1 (1h 7m 14s): Exactly. I think it's super dangerous. So they have three months with me in the muse community where women who are in there are doing this work. Right. And then they also all bought a ticket. I have a live event happening in November in Phoenix and they all bought tickets to that as well because they, what they recognize is, I never wanna step outside of this work. I didn't even know anything like this existed. And now I never wanna leave and I wanna meet more women of this like-mindedness and this growth mentality because this is a, this is a pretty big thing that is happening right now. I predict something bigger than in my wildest dream that I, I can't find the words or verbalize 'cause I think it's, everything that I has been happening is so much bigger than I even predicted that women are coming from around the world to this event in and November. 1 (1h 8m 2s): And I think we are unlocking some cages that have been inaccessible for thousands of years. And once you start to do that, things change in a way that you can never go back again. So yeah. It's so potent. 0 (1h 8m 17s): Yeah. I, I mean I wish I started doing all of this so much younger. 'cause I feel like at the very beginning of the episode and we were talking about Botox and I'm like, well what if you, you know, you do it yourself and you kind of pushed back a little bit and you're like, would you really be doing it like for yourself? Which is a very valid point. It's, I'm in this stage 'cause I'm still very much processing. It's like how many of my choices were like not actually ones I wanted to make or in some way I've done a lot of back flips to justify Yeah. Doing certain things. And that's really hard to look at, especially in my case because it's obviously all on the internet. So it's doing that and then not having, you know, obviously the privacy of doing that. 0 (1h 9m 2s): 'cause it's like, well what my choice is amplified. Right. Do you know what I mean? Right. And for such a long time I was like, no, that's the thing I wanted to do. Even I had a conversation two days before I did this, this work and it was a women's call and we had like our elder, she calls herself our fairy godmother. She's amazing. And one other woman, and both are probably a little bit more conservative. So they were just asking me out of genuine curiosity about like why I got into the industry. And I gave a, an answer that I felt at the time was really true. And I was like, I think no matter what, I would've ended up getting naked. Like I think like that was just part of my story. And I think I still think part of that is true, but what is different post that is the motivating factor? 0 (1h 9m 46s): Like what made me make those choices? Because it used to be a lot more innocent and like a lot more what I would've said was authentic. And now I have so many questions 'cause I'm like, maybe it wasn't, and like maybe it was all of these other things and I'm in this, it's, it's a really weird place to be. And it's like if I had done all of this as like a young girl, I would've been able to have more of, more clarity around like, this is me and then this is not me. This is me and this is my baggage. And then be able to separate those and like live a more authentic life. Yeah. 1 (1h 10m 18s): You know, and I think it's, to be able to look back at that now, it's just endless, endless compassion for yourself. And that, and, and I've had things too that I look back in my past and I, I have two choices to have so much shame and judgment around it for myself. Or to have incredible compassion that's like, oh, I can now see why you made that decision. I see what you are actually seeking. And what, but you, you disguised it and you thought it was an empowered decision. Yeah. When in fact it really wasn't. Yeah. And, and that's been my experience. And now I just look at that version of me. I did go through some grief and regret and lost time in my life that I'll never get back. And I have vowed that the time now will be so intentional and everything, being very aware because I, that's where I sat with that question. 1 (1h 11m 5s): When I stopped coloring my hair seven years ago, I was like, okay. I was sitting there at this one. I'm like, let me, let me see like, am I actually really, really here for me? What do I believe about gray hair? And the truth was, what I believed about gray hair was that it was beautiful and it signified like lots of stories. And I've always loved, I used to work in a nursing home and when I was in college and I've always loved the of people in aging and elderly, I loved deep lines on a face or hand. I just find it to be almost mystical to me that you've been through that much. And the map of it is there for the all of us to see. It's incredible to me. And so I sat there in that song with my eyes closed and that intention, 'cause I was onto like, I think this is my last time. 1 (1h 11m 48s): So I said, Amanda, what do you believe about? And this is the thing, I don't think we investigate our own, our own beliefs and we make choices unconsciously. We don't even know why we're doing them. And when I opened my eyes, I was like, I'm done. I'm never coming back again. And that was seven years ago and I've never looked back a day. And I just let it do the natural grow out the way it had to be. And I decided to make it mean. I was unwrapping a gift every morning when I'd go to the mirror and see the new silvers coming through and the patterns. And I decided it was gonna be my silver crown. It was gonna signify like all I'd lived through in my life. And prior to that I was just an unconscious. I was like a robot. I was like, oh, the grades are showing. 1 (1h 12m 29s): Let me call the salon, book the appointment, let me go do. And then I was sitting there like, what am I, what am I actually putting on my scalp? I eat organic at home. And then I turned around and this is what really blows me away. I went to, I was invited by a friend to go to this event in Miami a couple of months ago. And there's a lot, I would say the majority of, at least the upper, upper socioeconomic world of women in Miami are running. I, I am the anomaly. I will just say that. And I think sometimes there's like people on the phone outside my neighborhood. Like we just spotted a real woman at the mailbox alert. 1 (1h 13m 9s): Alert does not compute. We do not know what this alien is doing in the neighborhood. But I'm at this event and I was with a friend who lives really naturally as well. And we commented on the fact out of like a hundred women, we were certain, other than the woman leading it and us, we were certain we were the only two who had no alterations of any sort. And I, I was just like, I feel really sad right now. And it was for women in midlife. I'm like, I feel really sad. And they were asking this woman, this hormone expert about all these things. And it was fascinating to me how they're like, and I, I eat this and I do this and I do this workout. And it was all about the exterior presentation of the body. It had nothing to do with the internal. 1 (1h 13m 50s): And I thought that is so fascinating to me that you are priding yourself on how healthy you eat and yet you're injecting all of this unknown into your face. I predict in 20 years from now, we're gonna look back at this the way we used to look at lobotomies when people had mental health issues, they used to remove their frontal lobe. When women were pregnant, they used to tell them, smoke some cigarettes. It'll curb your appetite so you don't gain too much weight. We now can't even fathom that. We can't fathom that children used to be in cars without seat belts. We're gonna look at Botox and be like, do you believe that women were so desperate to not show signs of aging? They put rat poison in their face and thought it was gonna be okay. They didn't think there was gonna be a consequence to it. That is what I predict is gonna happen. 1 (1h 14m 31s): And so we're at this conference and I went up to the leader afterwards, I'm like, I'm really curious. When women were saying, well I do all these things and my hormones are all over the place and they're a wreck right now. Why you didn't call out? Hey, have you ever, because I heard you say, be really careful about the cream you put on your skin. Read the ingredients. If it's not organically sourced or really raw and natural, you're absorbing those toxins into your bloodstream. It's gonna disrupt your endocrine system. I'm really curious why you didn't say that about all the Botox that they had and all the fillers. And she said, because the woman leading this event told me last night, I couldn't touch that topic. Whoa. So we keep each other enslaved because I have been slammed for talking about Botox. And I'll never stop talking about it because you know what? 1 (1h 15m 13s): We need a frigging mother. We need a mother who's screaming. When my kids would try to run out into traffic, I didn't say, oh, maybe, maybe you shouldn't do that, honey. Are, are you sure? I don't know. I don't think that's a good idea. I said, stop. What are you doing? Because I cared so much and I wanted them to be safe. And I care so much about women and believe so much in their power. I'm willing to say the things 'cause I know those who fall away will never have been for me anyways. And those who stay will pique their curiosity because I'm insulted that we are tiptoeing around and we're being like, well, but you know, like, do whatever you want. Whatever makes you happy. And I'm not talking about judgment. I'm talking about let's actually come to the table and have really hard conversations. Let's do that. Can we be mature enough to say things that are evocative and are gonna stir the pot? 1 (1h 15m 57s): Yes. I'm willing to do that. And I went on a podcast a couple of weeks ago and I was so disappointed that after that being on this podcast, this podcast has been running for a couple of years. And I found out that my episode was the only episode that they said this before the episode and I didn't know this till after it was all done and produced. The thoughts and beliefs shared on this episode by our guest are not necessarily the thoughts and beliefs of the, the host and the company. Hmm. And I thought, this is what we're doing now. We cannot have a woman have a strong opinion about something without making sure that no one else is gonna get mad at us. Hmm. Like I find it so sad and so insulting. 1 (1h 16m 36s): Men can have these huge conversations. They can be in this, you know, big debate about something and they're still respected as thought leaders. We do it as a woman and we women have come onto my page and be like, why are you, I've shared my experience about not coloring my hair. Women literally say to me, stop shaming other women. Mm. I'm like, the fact that you heard shame in my personal story is a projection of how you feel. I'm not, I'm sharing my story and I'm sure as hell, just like when I had natural childbirth, women would be like, oh, but that wasn't my experience. So I I don't like when you talk about that. Oh, okay. So we're just, if my experience is opposite and you somehow feel threatened by it, it's on you to do your own internal work to figure out what that means. Why do we keep tiptoeing around each other and be patting each other on the head? 1 (1h 17m 20s): Where's that that leader who's willing to say bullshit? 0 (1h 17m 23s): That happens to me with the breastfeeding topic a lot because like I am a hardcore, like obviously you're, you're supposed to breastfeed your baby full stop. Yeah. If you're doing a bottle, it's less than 5% of women are not physically capable of breastfeeding. And I am so against, I'm against formula. I'm openly against formula because I think it's lazy. I think it's a way of you avoiding connection with your kid and intimacy with your kid. It's, it's like that roomy quote. It's like all of these layers that you put up in blockades of being loved. Mm. And you are scared to be loved even by your child. Yeah. And that's gonna get pi like people pissed. But that it's true. And you can say convenience or I don't wanna pump or I'm at work. That's not what I'm talking about. 1 (1h 18m 3s): I know women who work 40 plus hours a week and are still pumping. Yeah. Because it is really important to them. Yeah. That they give their child that level of the nutrition. Right. Right. And this isn't about And they're different. Yes. And if you're listening to this and you feel guilt or you feel shame or you feel othered or you feel triggered right now, please, please hear the invitation of what is possible. Maybe the only possibility that you can hear right now is we get to have varying opinions and big strong feelings about things. And it doesn't mean you're wrong, it just means this is my deeply held belief and I am tired of tiptoeing around in conversations with women so much so that it has certain women can't stand me. And I'm so okay with that because I'm not here to please everyone. That's why I was so drawn to your podcast because I'm like, I love her. 1 (1h 18m 45s): I love that she talks about things that everyone else would be so afraid to touch like this. It's like the biggest turn on for me. Like why can't we do this more often with women? Why can't we have like re and and so what if we have an opposite opinion? Why can't we do this And still decide like I respect Yeah. I respect what you said. I respect your power. I respect your vision and your beliefs without making you wrong. Or like, oh, I'm never talking to her again. It's like, I think all of the beauty and growth and opportunity lives in the places where we come to the middle and we're like, Hmm, I'm not sure. Like me being able to like say in ear and pretty much irritation to my best friend. Like, I'm so tired of every time you talk about someone you're learning from, it's always a man and her to have this like light bulb moment of like, oh my gosh, I never even thought about that. 1 (1h 19m 28s): You're right. So, because she's always talking about how she feels like she's overly in her masculine. I'm like, well yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, 0 (1h 19m 34s): Yeah, exactly. You keep feeding it. It's what you feed. Yes. 1 (1h 19m 38s): Yes. Yeah. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate. I too, I mean I had natural childbirth and then taught childbirth and breastfeeding classes and just found it to be, it's one of the things that, oh my gosh, natural childbirth and the breastfeeding were two of honestly the moments that changed the church trajectory of my life and the way I do my business. Mm. Because I tapped into a connection with my body and a power that I, I know for a fact I wouldn't have if I'd bypass those experiences. I know I wouldn't have. So yeah. I just, I, I've loved those experiences as a woman. It's part of what makes us so unique and very powerful. 0 (1h 20m 16s): It's truly a spiritual experience. It's, yeah. I get getting pregnant, having a baby and those months of postpartum and like small toddlerhood, like it's truly a spiritual practice. 1 (1h 20m 27s): Yes. 0 (1h 20m 28s): Yes. So it's like learn like lean into the thing. I, even though I don't like that term, like the, the points of discomfort, it's like, what am I supposed to see here? Like yes, you're like a wound is being touched. Yes. And what do I need to learn from this moment? Like why do I feel an aversion? Why do I, why am I avoiding this thing? Because usually it's something that you have to look at and it's not running away from them. Like, oh, I just need to feel good all of the time. That's not life. 1 (1h 20m 52s): No, it's not. And I had a lot of people in my circle who were very uncomfortable with my breastfeeding. They had a lot of big feelings about it. Yeah. And it stirred up a lot of what breasts mean to them, you know, and God love her. But even my mom, when I had my very first baby and he was like six months old, we are at a restaurant and you know how as a new mom, it's like it's rare that you actually eat a hot meal. Yes. And that you actually get to stay with everyone and and have it at the same time. So the meal had been delivered to the table. It was the same time my baby was waking up from his nap of course. And first thing he's like rooting, he's like looking for the breast. So I lift my shirt, I start feeding him and I'm also feeding myself. And my mom says, what are you doing? Hmm? I said, I'm feeding us both of us feeding my baby. 1 (1h 21m 32s): Yeah. And she says, I would prefer you go into the bathroom to do that. And I said, do you wanna take your plate and go eat in the bathroom? Because last time I checked his, probably the dirtiest place in this restaurant, I'm not giving my son his dinner in a bathroom. And it was this moment for her. She's like, well I, it is just unnecessary. I'm like, what's unnecessary mom? Because that's what they're made for the world. The world has sexualized them. I'm doing exactly the function that they were made for. And so, and I just kept resisting and resisting and I just kept showing up. And I think it was only like 2015 or 2018 maybe, that it was finally legalized in all states. Wow. That a woman wouldn't receive a ticket for breastfeeding in public. 0 (1h 22m 11s): No way. 1 (1h 22m 12s): Yes. Yes. I think it's 2018. 0 (1h 22m 15s): Whoa. That's way more recent than I would've anticipated. 1 (1h 22m 18s): I wrote about it in my book, all these things that we would've never imagined. Like women couldn't open their own checking account until the year I was born 1972. So there were all these things like we think like, oh it's been like we've made all these strides and yet there's a lot of evidence when we look at it that says, oh that's not the case. But yeah, that was one of them that really blew me away. I've never probably lived in one of those states 'cause that wasn't my experience. But I thought, oh my gosh, there are places women would've been ticketed for nursing their child in public. Mm. 0 (1h 22m 47s): Yeah. I remember with my first, he was, he was born in 2019 and being a first time mom, I think you're still trying to get the swing of things, especially if you don't have role models or you haven't been around babies and newborns. So I had so much anxiety. I knew I didn't want to be a mom that was experiencing shame when I was breastfeeding. I wanted to breastfeed when I needed to do it. Yes. And I did not wanna make it a thing, but my body was beat. Like, don't look at me. Am I, am I gonna get yelled at? 'cause you've seen that. You've seen people go up to total strangers and say that, that it was an inappropriate and I'm, the audacity is crazy. It blows me away. And then I also had anxiety about how I would react in that moment. 'cause I don't think it would be good for the other person. 0 (1h 23m 29s): So I'm like, well what's gonna happen? So much uncertainty. And my husband's like, it's fine. You're fine. Just do what you have to do. Yeah. How can I help you? And then by the time I had my second, I'm just like, oh, okay, 1 (1h 23m 39s): Here we 0 (1h 23m 40s): Are. And like I'd have in-laws be like, oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I'm like, it's nothing. It's a boob. You've seen a boob. It's a boob. He's eating. It's not a big deal. 1 (1h 23m 47s): It's like, I almost wanna say, and I remember saying this one time, I can't remember who, maybe it was to like my brother-in-Law. He's like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I can't, I, and I said, what are you apologizing for? Is it, what's the difference between a boober and elbow? It's like the story that you tell about the boob being something else. Like it's, it's just flesh, it's just tissue. Mm. It is fascinating to me. But yet we've normalized driving down the street and like I remember at a time when I was nursing and I was nursing on a bench and this thought went through my mind. I was outside like a park area on, well this little, we were living in Connecticut, there's this little downtown area and I looked up and there was the Victoria's Secret store was right there. And there was, there were boobs everywhere on full display on girls who were probably, you know, 15 posing as like a 25-year-old. 1 (1h 24m 32s): And I thought, isn't that so interesting? It's okay that way when it's four, the gaze of the male. But when it's for what it was made for to feed the baby, it is somehow wrong. It's somehow, you know, us, us being law, law breaking citizens. 0 (1h 24m 50s): There's this clip, it was on Reno 9 1 1 and I don't know if you've ever watched, it's like a comedy cop show just over the top. And there's the an airplane scene and they're going to Las Vegas. So you see all sorts of people that are heading in first class. Like you've got this guy who's in fish night nuts and sequins and like nipple piercings. You've got strippers, you've got all sorts of like wild outfits. And they're like, we'd like to report an inappropriate outfit. Or inappropriate, inappropriate nudity or something like that. So someone's being obscene on the plane. So the police officer comes on and he walks by the man that's like in a thong with nipple rings. 0 (1h 25m 30s): He walks by the stripper who's practically naked and he stops at the mom that's breastfeeding her baby. And he's like, you are under arrest. 1 (1h 25m 37s): And she's like, 0 (1h 25m 38s): What? And he's like, put those things away. Don't you have any decency? It's so true. And he takes the mom off the plane and it's so good because it's so true. 1 (1h 25m 46s): Oh, 0 (1h 25m 47s): I feel like it's so true. You can see all of that and you're like, that's fine. That's the lyric expression. But then you see something that is Right life sustaining and you're like, how dare you. That's gross. 1 (1h 25m 58s): It's so true. Oh my gosh, what a great example. 0 (1h 26m 0s): Oh my gosh. Yeah. I could talk to you for, for days I feel like, oh yeah, it's, the car's gonna be here in like 15 minutes. 15 minutes. But before we wrap, would you like to tell the guests like how they can support you upcoming retreats, plug away please. 1 (1h 26m 15s): Yeah. So the best place to find me would be on Midlife Muse on both Instagram and TikTok. And my website that has everything about me and all the ways to work with me is Amanda Hanson. H-A-N-S-O n.com. Yeah. And my big next big live event is going to be in Arizona November 2nd and third. And it's a thousand women. And it is gonna be, when I try to explain it, it is going to be the transf, like the most transformative party of the year. It's almost like where the Taylor Swift energy or Beyonce energy of a concert meets a woman's march. Like it's gonna be like women and this beautiful power and the essence of womanhood underneath like massive transformation and a lot of celebration and party and like the most outrageous outfits you've ever seen. 0 (1h 26m 59s): Oh my gosh. Amazing. Well congratulations on all your success. 1 (1h 27m 2s): Thank you so much. Really, really cool. Thank you so much for having me. I really enjoyed our time. Of 0 (1h 27m 6s): Course, of course. Me too. And if you liked this episode, please hit like and subscribe. And if you have two seconds, hit five stars on that review. It helps with the algorithm. And we'll see you next week. Bye everybody.