Coach Keith Waggoner has a wild resume, some would wonder how one person can accomplish so much. Keith is a results coach for Tony Robbins, works with the Navy SEALs, has a black belt in multiple forms of martial arts, and started a non profit that provides training to police officers and organizations like Operation Underground Railroad to end human and child trafficking.
This is a very powerful episode, and we touch on some uncomfortable but immensely important topics.
If you feel feel moved by the end of this to make a difference please visit https://justiceventures.org/donate/ and in the designation write ORC so they know where you want the money going.
You can also reach Keith directly at https://www.tonyrobbins.com/team/keith-waggoner/
Support the show (http://patreon.com/candicehorbacz)
Hello, everybody that you're listening to Chatting with Candice I'm your host Candice Horbacz. Before we get started on this week's episode, if you want to support the podcast, you can go to Chatting with candice.com and sign up for our Patriana account. You get early access to episodes, bonus content live AMH is all that good stuff. You can also just rate and review this podcast. Share it with a buddy, helps us out a ton. I'm really excited to welcome dr. Keith Waggoner to the podcast. Dr. Keith has his PhD in psychology. He's a marriage and family therapist. He's trained with the Navy SEALs. He's worked with Tony Robbins as a Results coach for the last 10 years. He's an owner of a nonprofit that helps end Child and human trafficking.
I will include the link in the show notes. If you want to support his nonprofit, you can just go to that website. It's justice ventures.org. And in the little caption you can put ORC ORC. If they know where the money is going, we'll get into those details towards the end of the podcast, just a head's up. We do talk about some really heavy things towards the end. I think it's very important and I'm really happy to bring awareness to the issue. So without further ado, enjoy the episode, dr. Keith
0 (1m 18s):
1 (1m 22s):
Alright, well Coach Keith thank you for joining me on this Saturday morning. Thanks. Candice it's so great to be here. So I always like to start with having the guests and give them themselves to make a little bit of an intro. So if you wanted to like, kind of introduce herself to our listeners and your background and how you kinda got started.
0 (1m 39s):
Sure. Well, I'm a psychologist and I came up through the world of academia and then I was staying up late one night, trying to avoid doing a paper that I was do for one of my doctoral programs. And I came across this guy named Tony Robbins on the home shopping network. I'm like, Whoa, who's this guy it's. So I stopped on his page and he was just saying all these great things that I think, you know, were just so relevant about life and depression and how a lot of times we get that wrong in the world, a psychologist. So my ears perked up. So not that well, listen to this guy. And he had some great things to say. And so, right then I bought the product was like this 30 day cassette tape program, the original personal power program.
0 (2m 22s):
And I loved it learned just a whole new depth and ways of applying. Even some of the things that I was learning and a, the patients' in my clinicals were getting better. And I was applying some of the stuff that I learned from Tony and his cassettes. And I've talked to, you know, my professors came to me and they're like, Keith, you're doing fantastic. Where are you getting this stuff? And can you imagine what they thought? When I told them I bought a box set from the sky on the home shopping network, they're fine. Like, stop don't do that. You're so right. Yes. They were like, what, what are you talking about? I mean, they really got mad at me and they're like, you know, you're just graduating our program. And I said, Hey guys, just please give Tony a chance to listen to him. So I gave them the 30 day cassette that program and they fell in love with him two, in fact, that helped change kind of the course of the curriculum of some of the stuff they were teaching.
0 (3m 7s):
So yeah, that's how I got into the world of coaching. And I haven't looked back since,
1 (3m 11s):
So you still work with Tony Robbins in his company. So I, we can't like skip over that cause the listeners would like go crazy. So I'm sure they are fascinated to know, like, how did you go from buying his cassette to actually like working with him, working for his company? Like, what is that like? Cause to me, like, I've never met him. Eric's been in the same room with him, my husband one time. And I'm like that man just seems like larger than life. So I know people are just so curious, like, what is that like working with him?
0 (3m 41s):
Oh, it's great. You know, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm a serial entrepreneur, you know, help run actually parts of nine companies now. And so I don't have to work for the money I am associated still with Tony because of Tony Robbins I mean, he really a real deal that pioneer and the best of all of us, and I'm not trying to create a Tony commercial. It's just Tony is awesome. And I learn so much. I always believe in putting yourself around people you learn from you never stopped learning. You never stop growing and Tony is really great. And so my journey was, you know, it's a clinical psychologist working on a forensic state hospital in Texas. I mean, you know, people who were found not guilty because of reasons of in saying that, and I'm so fascinated, I always have been about human behavior and you know, how people get to certain places in their life.
0 (4m 27s):
And I, at one time shared the stage with Tony in San Diego, back in the early nineties, talking about leadership, more of flack from a psychologist standpoint. And I met one of his major guys and he said, Hey, you know, you should think about becoming a Coach instill. They all gave me a call and Tony said, Hey, come in. And so that was in about 10 years ago. And so I've been on a, one of his Coach is one of his platinum level coaches ever since then. And I mean, it's a great organization.
1 (4m 55s):
So where you always interested in the forensic side of psychology, because we'll get a little bit more into like, you have a vast background into, like, we could spend an entire episode just talking about like your different specialties, but you've worked with like, what was it, the tactical canine unit and you have a black belt and you work at the Navy SEALs and the list goes on and on. So we're you kind of like always interested in like, I guess, righting wrongs too. Cause like, you know, there's like the psychology part where it's like helping people, but then there's also some people that have like a sense of duty and that's kind of what I'm like seeing with your very large resume.
0 (5m 28s):
Yeah. You know, early on, you know, I grew up with a abusive alcoholic father, so it taught me early on we'll wait a minute. You know, there are injustices in life. And I think, you know, Candice that I'm thinking about it. I mean, you know, that was, that was a really good question. I think that, you know, that really was a big driver for me is just to learn what makes people tick. Because when you grow up in a very tense, abusive home, you can typically go one of two ways. You can either get beaten down by it and then you'll just go inward. And that happens much to people who are suffering or you can rise above it and think, God, you know, I was able to be put in front of a lot of good people who taught me, who mentored me to help me rise above.
0 (6m 8s):
But I learned early on how to anticipate my dad's moods out to kind of read what was going on. And that created just this innate curiosity, but I can remember even in high school and that was kind of a peacemaker, you know, I'd come upon fights and I'm like, wait a minute, guys, there's a better way to solve this. And you know, people being picked on and bullied and you know, and I was, thank God. I was always had kind of that bent and me where I wanted to be an advocate for people.
1 (6m 32s):
I think that's a lot of people with psychology backgrounds. So I only have my BA and there's like a lot you can do with it. It was just basically like I paid a lot of money to learn some cool stuff, but I had a pretty similar background where there was just like, ah, kind of a toxic home environment. And with my siblings, you can kind of see like both directions, but it wasn't like, I'm pretty proud of like the life that I've like crafted. And I have like, you know, really beautiful family and I am an entrepreneurial. Like I kind of like I right. It a lot of wrongs if you will. And then a couple of my siblings might not have taken that path. Do you think that part of that is like a biological, like underlying factor? Or do you think it's just maybe exposure to different like groups that I obviously had different friends and, you know, say one of my siblings, so maybe like that impacted my path or a combination.
0 (7m 23s):
Yeah. I'd say definitely both. It's the old nature versus nurture idea and psychology and, you know, research shows us it's gotta be both and you can take twins, even identical twins in the same environment. And let's just pretend it's a beautiful, wonderful environment. And they, you know, they grow up differently. And my personal belief system, if I can share that, is that I think there's also, you know, kind of a calling on people's lives, more of a spiritual component to that as well. And so for instance, for you, for you to be able to rise up, you know, really, really claim maybe your pathway, I think it has something to do with really all three of those components. Maybe, you know, you got a calling in your life to be a leader and you've answered that.
1 (8m 5s):
Yeah. I'm a really big believer too, and like paths and like destiny, if you will. But so I know some people like aren't into that, but there's like certain things that I've find you can't really explain, like they're is like a missing link. And for me that's like where spirituality comes in. And I feel like when you start making, like what I say, like, or like the right decisions or like that kind of R have you centered on that path is when everything kind of starts to manifest and be like, how did that happen? How did I make that connection? And its because like everything is telling you like your doing the right thing vs like doing the wrong thing. Okay. Okay.
0 (8m 36s):
And to see that is so important, you know, and we have a choice in any moment to receive confirmation of taking the next right steps or not. I mean the power of focus it's so important. And so, you know, what a part of your own decision making process I would, you know, my imagination tells me is that you have taken things as an opportunity to step up into make good decisions and to be powerful where someone else would make a different decision and focus has so much to do with that. What you do with it in the moment and finding purpose like Victor Frankl's book man's search for meaning. I love that book. This is not a great one. I mean, you think about this guy who was thrust in this environment of the worst place. I mean hell on earth Auschwitz, can you imagine our family murdered before his eyes?
0 (9m 18s):
But you know, he talks about it's all about purpose, giving something a meaning. And that's one of the greatest lessons Tony Robbins has helped teach me is that, you know, nothing has meaning except the meaning. We give it in any moment, we have an opportunity to give something up beautiful, powerful meaning. And that's the big difference between those who succeed and those to dos.
1 (9m 38s):
So I probably spend way too much time on social media for my own wellbeing in these times. It is, I know I still needed like a timer, something because I got sucked in its like a black hole, but I see a common issue of lack of purpose. And I think that's why certain people are kind of like acting out if you will, especially like, you know, screaming into this void that has like Twitter specifically. Okay. So when you find yourself is the kind of ties back into like surrounding yourself with like minded individuals. They're like where you want it to be best. If you surround yourself with very successful people, then you're more likely to be successful in your own. Right? And then if you surround yourself with people that are, you know, kind of drowning a negativity than you going to find yourself there as well.
1 (10m 22s):
So when you find that your in a situation where you were surrounded with the wrong type of people and you have a lack of purpose, like how do you get someone out of that? How do you find like are at least star on a path of fulfillment and kinda like separate yourself from negative influences?
0 (10m 41s):
Yeah. If I, if I've got you write while you're asking his like how do you help someone else that's like, and you know, that can be tough because the fact is is you can't really make anybody do anything. Believe me, I've tried. It doesn't work very well. Lots of failures there, the way that I've seen it work, the best is the power of influence. And you know, there's so many great books about that. I mean like you, you are an influencer and all that we can do as on of course you believe in the power of prayer and the spiritual things, you know, and I believe in that so much for me, for that person and then find ways to create what we call positive neuro associative anchors, which is just like planting little seeds in their heart, just positive things, positive things. Cause the best way to help change somebody's sense of purpose.
0 (11m 24s):
Like, you know what there for what they're life is all about and you know, their self esteem, their sense of self worth is to give them love. You make little touches just yesterday. I was working with someone who has, has been a strange from our sister and she was asking me, you know, what do I do about that? And it's like, you know, first thing you got to do is give relationships good, healthy, loving relationships are first and foremost, a place to give. So give a positive thing. Then next is find out what they love or, and in a bad place, what they used to love, find a way to connect, you know, a sense of their purpose in life with something wonderful that they can be useful for. I still remember when I was in kindergarten.
0 (12m 4s):
Yeah. A little bitty guy and this guy came in and had these new wooden toys and he's like, I need three strong boys to help me carry these wooden toys. And they were like little wooden trains and stuff. And he picked me, I remember I felt so great because I, you know, I had a purpose. And so another thing to do is give somebody a good job to do, tell them you need their help. And then just keep investing in them, asking them, make an touches, you know, calling them, sending them texts. And you know, we live in a world now where it's easier than ever to get ahold of people. And so I don't know. Does that make sense? Yeah.
1 (12m 38s):
We try to like take the positive route instead of like forcing a horse to drink if you will.
0 (12m 43s):
Yeah. It makes this a little deposits. Like, you know, like money in the bank just keep depositing in their love bank. That's a good way to do it in of course, are you demonstrating your own sense of standard and leadership? You know, your leading a positive life, which will create a realm of attraction and we will pull them to, which is the same advice I give to couples who are in trouble. You know, the best thing that say in a strange, for a couple of can do is one person live a great life. The other person would go, wow, that's attractive. I want to be a part of that. And that's one of the ways to move, to say a relationship forward.
1 (13m 16s):
Yeah. That's the hard thing. Cause its like when you're again, when you're surrounded by a specific energy, like it starts to kind of affect like the way that you might be like influencing or trying to like sway people. Cause I consider myself like a pretty positive person, but if I spend like two much time online or talking too, like certain, ya know, arguing with strangers, which is never recommended, then all of a sudden I'm like, well that's not like usually an approach I would take. And like, why am I here? And it's because of, you know what I'm choosing to surround myself like
0 (13m 45s):
So true. And they know this is what a good healthy boundaries have the ability to say no. And profuse just like on my way, you'll drive in the other day, you, you know, this guy cuts me off and you on he's making these hand gestures. I don't know if he spoke the language of what, but I understood her a couple of things that he flashed me. I could have got entangled in that. But you know, I just said, no, thank you. Here's my boundary. No, thank you. It's not worth it. You know, I'm not going to intermesh in my energy. Let that to contaminate. And so having a greater ability to say no when it's how we use our time or we entangle with some, you know, for lack of a better term internet troll, which is not worth it because they're not listening anyway.
1 (14m 24s):
No, they're not. It's just, everyone talks about like these echo chambers of like conformation. So it's like whatever your belief system is like that you only are like following and agreeing with people that are echoing like your same ideologies and anyone that says anything else, like has to immediately be like shunned outside of the conversation. I think the other dangerous thing that comes with like lack of purpose or fulfillment. And I see it a lot with college campuses is a lot of these people. And I think most people are very right. Like a lot of people do want to feel, do you wanna like do the right thing? And then if you don't really know what your, why is or what your philosophy is, our it's very easy to take on someone else's without question, especially if they like pull on your heart strings enough.
1 (15m 7s):
So I guess like for me, what I see in academia is a lot of people that are taking these kids that don't really know who they are just yet. Cause they are young. Right. And they're filling their minds with like this woke culture. And I think woke a culture. Like again, I think it's started in a good place like it with good intentions, but it's very aimless. And now it created a bit of like a monster, like a kid that you never told no to. So from a psychologist perspective, like what's your take on the work culture? Can we go back? Like how do we kind of undo? What's been done.
0 (15m 41s):
Yeah. You know, This I have very specific opinions about this woke I yeah. I mean, just even thinking about that word work and that doesn't want to be woke. And so there's an automatic force presupposition of emotion. And we typically call that virtue posturing. Right? Cause you, Oh you're not woke. I mean automatically then they feel bad. And always, it's always about a motion before its logic. Even when I train salespeople and influencers, you know, you have to train them how to really connect with someone's emotion first. So a lot of this wokeness is because we've been really gearing up for three or four decades about teaching people in what we call the postmodernism movement.
0 (16m 21s):
That there's no real standards in life. There's no absolute sense of truth or right or wrong, but that we are individually responsible for that ourselves. And so you take that, you kind of an anchor people from a sense of, Hey, you can do this and there are consequences. Are you can't do that because of those consequences. And now what are we left with? That reminds me of that movie fight club. Did you ever see that movie? That all so good. And so if you can remember one of Brad Pitt's famous lines in that movie where he was talking about why people were so angry and why they needed the fight club was because everyone in that generation was promised that they were going to be someone special. If they would all be rock stars, if they would all be multimillionaires.
0 (17m 2s):
And then when they grew up and they realized it wasn't just going to happen. It wasn't just going to be handed to them. People were angry. I believe in this generation, the one that we have right now, I think they're good. But I think they're suffering because they feel a sense of loss because of that. So they are looking for something on a way to redeem. And so, you know, any little spark that can come down and virtue posture to them and make them feel like they're being cheated to make them feel like, Oh wait a minute. I don't want to be wrong. It ignites this fire that we see like in these protests and riots, some of these places happening around the country. It's so I believe it's their attempt to really feel something, to try to right.
0 (17m 43s):
A wrong that they feel because they hadn't been anchored. So the floating around in this place just desperately trying to find footing what's right and wrong because inside, if we haven't been taught those lessons, our sense of wellbeing, it's going to be terrible. And we are the most blessed, you know, culturally in the world that's ever been or some of the most miserable people too. I was reading and you know about suicide. I mean, you know, it's just the statistics, statistics on suicide are just crazy.
1 (18m 7s):
Oh, it's gone through the roof too right now, too.
0 (18m 9s):
You know, especially with Kobe, he's like a like 900% is now one of the top five leading causes of death in the country and is created. You know, now the statistic for a life expectancy has gone down when people are killing themselves, its crazy. And it's because people don't have a foundation of who they are because anchor's of morality, anchors of right. Help us develop, you know, identity statements and the most powerful force of human psychology is identity who I think I am and who I think I'm supposed to be. And our culture today thinks they're supposed to be a victim. They think that they have been victimized because of this vacancy. And what do we do as a victim? Like we talked about a moment ago, you can either lie down and take it or you can rise up and try to force your way through it.
0 (18m 54s):
And I think that's what's happening is not based on logic. It's not based on reasoning that is based on pure emotion. And so the answer to that, his, you know, teaching, I'm a man that takes a while it's like planting a tree, you gotta plant seeds and you gotta let it grow. But before a lot of these trees can grow, they're being burned down. Yeah.
1 (19m 12s):
And that's the unfortunate part too. It's especially as like new parents. So we are trying to kind of figure out the influence that schools do have. Right. Because they're out of your care for like a big chunk of the day. So like what is being reinforced when you're not around and
0 (19m 28s):
Oh yeah. So big,
1 (19m 30s):
So crazy. And so we were at one time, I hate to even admit this now, but we were looking at a Montessori school that started at 18 months and we thought it was harmless. Right. We thought it was going to be like a, a leg up. He's going to have this opportunity to grow. And then we talked to a couple of people are like, Oh, you don't really want to have your kid away half of the day that early on, because like their, in this Hi feta state and then everything is just downloaded and you don't know what is being downloaded when you're not there.
0 (19m 56s):
Yeah. And a lot of times kids don't even know that stuffs beam down. A lot of it. I love what you said, beta state cars that is so important. It's like opening up the program. Right. You know, things get programmed all day long. It's incredible social media
1 (20m 8s):
Totally at, and people might think like that sounds Wu, but it's actually its neuroscience. Right. So is a real brainwave. And when you are in that state, it's like, especially at that age, you don't have the filter of like, is this true? Is this not true? There's no critical thinking yet is that part of the brain doesn't exist. So you just absorb it. Okay.
0 (20m 26s):
That is right in that man. That is, that's such an important stage. I believe God created that stage for us so that we can learn. So we can be anchored. I mean, language, so many things right. Happened that it's just, it's beautiful process. But when left unchecked, you know, even people who think that they are doing what's right. They'll teach, you know, our children, their perspective, this woke idea. Some of that is a deep, deep programming. It's so hard to undo.
1 (20m 52s):
Yeah. So when it comes to like, I guess glorifying victims it's I think it's a lot more complicated because, so for example, in one of the school's we were looking at like one kid came out as trans, like very young and they had a coming out party in the whole class, just for this one kid. And while the intentions I think are great and beautiful, right? Like they wanted that kid to feel accepted and you know, be able to explain their story. I find that the other side of it that no one's talking about, it's all the other kids that are, you know, biologically normal. If you want to call it that, like for a lack of better words. And they're like, well, why don't I get a party? Right. So then it's like, well maybe if I do something that's out here, that's outside of the norm, whatever it might be, then maybe I'll get like that special attention.
1 (21m 40s):
Cause we all want love and attention and acceptance. You see someone getting it for being different than you have to be different. Or if there's a kid that like, you know, they have a bad home life and that's like the reason why, like they don't have to like perform the same as their peers and it's, well, maybe I can come up with something too. And then that will make me exceptional. So I find that like for a lot of people, it's easier to be exceptional in one, you know, in the victim arena than it is to Excel. And then also I think the issue too is like why isn't okay to be in the middle of the bell curve. Right? Like why isn't it okay to just have like a solid job that brings home, like, you know, whatever the national like averages and have a loving family and like, why isn't that enough anymore?
0 (22m 26s):
The good questions I wanted to say this, whatever is celebrated is programmed. Everyone in our mind is celebrated. So we were looking at a spectrum of intensity. Again, going back to emotion, if you want to really program yourself flooded with emotion. And so I'm a kid and the classroom, seeing some body being celebrated for whatever reasons that is creating a program with that program, I'll always create a conclusion, a self conclusion. You're going all the way back to the book. You know, emotional intelligence, whatever is then gets programmed within this conclusion will either be positive or negative. It'll either be temporary or permanent. So a lot of these kids are creating a negative permanent stuff's conclusion. Wait a minute.
0 (23m 6s):
I'm not good enough if I'm not, if I don't find something unique, something special and you know, you can tell this by adolescent. So I mean, you probably even know this from your baby, right? If a baby cries, it learns it. Doesn't take it long to learn where we need to. I get my needs met. And so these kids are learning. I will get my needs met. I'll be made to feel special. If somehow I can exaggerate some type of uniqueness or problem or victimization about me. And you know, the sad thing is this is from those children's perspective, they don't think that they're fainting. They don't think that they are faking or posturing. And this is another thing that social media is teaching us is that now are so emotionally raw and open.
0 (23m 48s):
The Gates are open that if we don't post something that where we get a number of likes with them, we created a negative self conclusion. There's something wrong with me because people didn't like my post in there, somebody thumbs down or a post or whatever. It may be. All the smoke people have committed suicide over this stuff. It's crazy how to just roll. And you just, you know, suffering so much suffering canvas in a minute, just from a psychologist perspective, in a coach's perspective, it just breaks.
1 (24m 16s):
Yeah. It's really sad. And it's like, I hope the pendulum starts swinging the other direction, but its gonna take like a whole, unfortunately in a whole new generation kind of come in and parenting. Okay.
0 (24m 26s):
And even, even in one of the founders of Facebook, don't even let his kids on Facebook because he realizes the monster that can be created so many wonderful things. But also just, I mean the power of their self image is just crazy. And anytime we put that on stage and allow to give somebody the power to validate us, we also give them the power to invalidate and that's what's happening. A lot of people just are so afraid of being invalidated and it plays into this thing like mob mentality, a lot of these things, even these protests that maybe start off with just a good intent or a peaceful, all it takes is one person virtue signaling this idea that, wait a minute, if you're really woke, then you're going to throw this brick.
0 (25m 11s):
And then it just, and it's, you know, people find themselves caught up in things that they would never have done otherwise.
1 (25m 17s):
Yeah. That the psychology is always really interesting to me. I just ordered the madness of crowds book it's on my Q. So I like need to read it, but it talks about how like you can go into something really well intended. But when you're surrounded by so many people in there's this big crowd, then all of a sudden like psychology just completely changes and your notes are in control at all.
0 (25m 36s):
So that's why, you know, another great thing that I learned from Tony he has this phrase called proximity is power, which means the people you allow to surround yourself with, they will, you will become, I mean, it's almost like we don't have a choice. So picking your friends, picking your influences, all of these things are still important because if you want to be a positive person, surround yourself with positive people and you'll be one of those people. You want to be a millionaire, same thing. You want to have a great life, same thing. You must, you must surround yourself with those people and see that's another effect of our virtual world is we are isolating ourselves. And our only outlet for self evaluation is like social media. And so these things are influencing us like nothing else in the world.
0 (26m 17s):
Instant influence, instant persuasion, instant victimization, powerful force.
1 (26m 24s):
Yeah. That's a great point. So I wanna kind of segue into, so what I see the whole culture is kind of like a version of pain and then a podcast I recently heard you on, you were talking about being forged in fire. So those things are, have a huge difference right there, opposite sides of the coin. So I, what has your time with the Navy SEALs taught you in the importance of the importance of struggle I should say.
0 (26m 53s):
Yeah, well they are in the military, they had something, they call a Fox hole relationships, which means when you go through something hard, it for just a connection, in a sense of belonging, togetherness, like nothing else Cannes. And we can create this. I mean, we go through this stuff all the time. I mean, why do you know people who riot are people who are on the Republican side or the Democrat side? Why do they stick together? You even see this with sports teams it's because we create, and this is a part of our enigma. Nature is people we must create battles for ourselves to go through. So people like the Navy SEALs or any elite team, they know how to utilize that form. So they put themselves through a rigorous, very hard training and they realize something.
0 (27m 36s):
You can just do that once you can't just go and become a Navy seal by passing the entrance exam at buds. And you have to constantly train, train, train, train, because the fact is is that, you know, the resistance and the bombardment of life, I mean, you know, even in a good environment and a good culture, it happens all the time. And so the best businesses, the best marriage is the best relationships are the best teams. They must constantly fight that natural degradation of mentality to get themselves into. Number one is a great mindset number to make sure that their in a great place of growth. So for instance, Navy SEALs is what makes them the best, you know, most elite teams on earth of any team on earth because of their training.
0 (28m 20s):
And then it's also because a tribe, they have each other, you know, there's something, again like that proximity we just talked about. There's something about that, that you just can't get alone. Even the best of people are never itself made. I believe that's why marriage is so sacred. I believe that's why friendships are so sacred. We got to put ourselves around those types of people.
1 (28m 40s):
Okay. So if you were saying that people kind of need like that struggle or like that fight, like what are some like healthy outlets for that?
0 (28m 49s):
Good, well, it's growth. I mean, if we could start from the top and go down and it would be for us to choose a pathway of study or some type of experience that we put ourselves through continually, I mean, it could be something as simple as going to the gym and we had a personal trainer and then, you know, working through the resistance and you know, growing each and every day. One of my favorite scenes from some of the SEALs that I've learned from is that clones always die. Meaning you cannot stay who you were today. Tomorrow you must kill that person, know that clone of yourself yesterday, and you must become a better version of that person. It also means don't try to be like anyone else. You have to find your unique thing, a cult of personality, like Tony Robbins.
0 (29m 29s):
You know, I have people come to me all the time. They want to use Tony's words that we want to do Tony stuff and it's just all surface, but they didn't know what to do, but they try to become a close to someone like Tony and that never works. They have to find their own unique bit, your own unique substructure. And that's why, you know, I've developed several different events and that's why Tony has events. And you know, the best life coach in the world and influencers have the events. I've got one specifically it's called undisputed mastery where we basically, one of my partners is a world champion boxer. And we invite me out to Vegas, the fighting capital of the world. And we spend three and a half days of intense immersion. We turn the decades of transformation into days because you can do that with emotional intensity in the right type of direction.
0 (30m 15s):
And we bring them out there and you know that we have the box, we have the mood, we put them through all kinds of very rigorous things for them to discover what we call emotional scenes. I do the same thing with a very specific training called principled Savage, which is to help us find the principles so that we can really have an unmatched skill level savagery. And this is where we take people through a course in Texas, that me and some other guys developed, which is basically the very same training they teach the top, top, maybe steel teams. It's really cool to help develop something called AICCU, which is the adaptability quotient, the ability to make great decisions and retain the integrity of our skillsets when under pressure.
0 (30m 56s):
Cause it's one thing to be able to make a decision when there's no pressure, but if you're really under pressure, that's when it can.
1 (31m 3s):
I love that you do like these very like stereotypical, like manly things. I think it's like, it's really important. Cause you have like two sides, right? Like you have this psychologist Coach, which is talking about feelings and concerns and like some things that people would say, or like, you know, feminine or whatever. Cause that's like our culture. And then you're also like a black belt and you train with the Navy CMLs and you have this really cool. And like that principal Savage, like there's two sides, right? So you can be both. And I think its so important to not apologize for being a man until like lean into like a masculine traits. I feel like we need to be exorcized as a mom of a boy or like I've been listening to a ton of podcast and reading a lot about how to kinda like Ray's a boy and the importance of not snuffing out that masculinity, which today like, is it a bad word?
1 (31m 55s):
Right. We're not allowed to say that.
0 (31m 57s):
Yeah. I mean for, with you as an influencer, like you are, that is so important. Candice I'm so glad to hear you say that because you know men and women, of course they're equal. Of course they're both awesome, but they can be different if this was a masculinity and femininity, we have to embrace that. And that's another big pain area of suffering in our culture today. And I think unprecedentedly in our culture, we feel ashamed for just being us because we host to be because all This virtue, postures is supposed to be something else. And it doesn't matter to me who you are just embrace that instead of being shamed for who you are, Alexander, anytime there's a teaching that, that teaches shame. We know that automatically that got wrong.
1 (32m 36s):
<inaudible> I like that. You said that. Cause like so many I got into like a little bit of trouble on Twitter the other day. Cause it was right after like the VP debate and all I saw on my feet get in trouble with that stuff. Okay. Really is. And I constantly keep getting hung up there. I like, we need to stop taking a carrot, but everyone was saying like Penn's was like mansplaining. And I was like, I just hate that word because you couldn't do that to a woman. Right. You couldn't like create like the opposite, like a feminine version of like any time a woman talk to you in a way that you didn't like. And I was like, it's just interrupting. That's all it is. I was like, what would you call it? If like a woman was interrupting me. It was just interrupting. So I just hate like the way we have to keep drying, like these lines of division, because I was reading this book, it's called the end of gender by doctor Debra.
1 (33m 23s):
So, and it's really, really good. So far I'm like about halfway, but where is it going with this? Oh, so she was saying that be true. Like sexism is seeing that we have to be identical to be treated equal. Wow. That's good. Right? So its like, we can acknowledge that there are differences between men and women and whatever you want to call it, gender roles, but that doesn't take away that you still have to like respect me because I'm a woman and I have to respect you cause you're a man and we should have, you know, a quality of opportunity and not necessarily outcome. I thought that was like so powerful. And I'm like the exact opposite of what I'm seeing play out right now
0 (34m 3s):
That isn't that something which tells us that there is injury involved in the agenda. People are searching for something and they're trying to figure it out and I don't blame them for that. But man, I've got so much of that wrong eat this, you know, you know, maybe in a faithful Christian man, you know, its there's so much shame out there for just saying what you believe in one of the saddest things that I find is that we'd lost the ability to disagree and still treat each other with respect. And so we become so overly victimized in our identity as a victim in our culture that if someone disagrees with me, it means that they hate me. Like if they have some kind of innate character flaw, like they must be racist or misogynist or something.
0 (34m 44s):
I mean, we just got so good at throwing those terms around and people really, they is such a fear tactic. And that really bully. If you think about it at its worst and sad, there's so much injury happening because of that.
1 (34m 57s):
<inaudible> and I feel like there's like, there's so many other causes to focus your attention on, right. That are like real. And I definitely want to spend some time talking about your non profit. So it's really interesting that so many people pay attention to stuff that I consider just to kind of like be b******t, right? Like the missile, a whole like mansplaining, the fact that mansplaining took up the entire news cycle for 24 hours to me is ridiculous. There's so many other things that we should be focusing like attention on. So you had like a really incredible non profit that's helping with human Trafficking Child Trafficking and a, I want to know why is this not in the news more? Right. Like when I started, I got into like a little bit of a hole and just like research, hold on, like looking at different non profit companies like the statistics and they are staggering.
1 (35m 46s):
So if you kinda wanna, I guess enlighten the listeners' on just some of the statistics that are real and then kind of why is this not in the news?
0 (35m 55s):
Sure. Thank you so much. Candice yeah, it is. It's something that's so near and dear to my wife in my heart. I mean, you know, there are more slaves today in the world than there's ever been before. You can go to the global slave index.org, global slavery index.org, and that you can look up these statistics and this is an older statistic from 2016, but in 2016, our best count was that there was over 40 million slaves probably now pushing more than 50 million, which just to give some context, that's more than the entire population of Canada. I mean, it's incredible. There are more slaves today than ever before. When I heard that I was just floored and I was like, You I was like, Oh no, come on.
0 (36m 37s):
And I went and checked it out and there is, Oh, it's so terrible. You know, in and out of those, you know, 71% of those are women and this is sex slavery. This is labor slavery. This is Oregon harvesting. This is forced marriage. You know, they estimate about 16 million children are forced into marriage or children or women. I'm counting, not even teenagers. And it's just staggering these numbers. And when you consider this about every two minutes, just in our, in our country, the United States of America, every two minutes, a child is forced into some type of sex into some type of slavery, every two minutes, it's staggering. And when you consider that, I think that most people kinda like maybe like You and I were is just the reality of that.
0 (37m 22s):
Hasn't caught up to us. And when it comes to the news, we know if it bleeds, that feeds right. And with this whole woke idea that, you know, people are just there taking the bait of so many things and this is, it takes a lot of logic. It takes a lot of soul searching. And a, when we faced these types of the fax, we have to ask ourselves now what now? Where am I going to do about it? And when I heard these statistics, I had to face myself and you had got on my knees. I started praying my wife and I did, and we saw we have to do something. And so I formed an organization called Operation rescue children or ORC. And what we do is we support already existing You fantastic teams like a justice ventures.org. They're our parent company that we funnel all of our donations through completely legitimate five Oh one, three C a tax credit, all of that stuff.
0 (38m 10s):
But what we do is we support and train teams like with the Navy seal training, one guy came to me and said, Keith we need your help. We're getting slaughtered more and more traffickers are being trained by organized crime. Cindy that gets by terrorist organizations. And a lot of times the team's on the ground who are helping disrupt Trafficking rings or just natives to let's say Nepal or Thailand or Mexico or wherever, or even hear in the States. And they're just, they were getting slaughtered literally. And so we come in and absolutely for free, we train teams like love justice, justice ventures. Operation Underground, Railroad absolutely no cost. And we just helped their guys learn more about how to survey, interrupt, arrest.
0 (38m 52s):
And we teach them tactical processes. We also come in and help the operators a deal with psychological issues. Two, for instance, you know, when we're there and we get to break into a place maybe where there's, they're holding human slaves and we dispatch the bad guys, we arrest them. You know, we can feel really good about what we do, but all you have to do is look over at, in the quarter and you see some four year old little girl who's still bleeding because she was right. You know, that the trauma that these guys have to deal with. And so we come in and help them deal with that so that they don't lose heart. So they don't lose focus because it would be easy to think, wow, what difference can I make? I can't make a difference in these 50 million people, the staggering number, but we can make a difference for that little girl and that other one in everyone that we help intervene and save.
0 (39m 41s):
There's a life that we can change. So that's what we are doing.
1 (39m 44s):
That's so beautiful. And so I don't know if you wanna kind of get into like the whole issue with like boarders. So I have a friend that works like as border patrol down towards Arizona and the things that he tells me that he sees or truly like awful, like kid's getting trafficked. It's a very real issue. So you see a lot of politics right now they're trying to like have completely open borders. Right. And abolishing things like I, which helped directly with human trafficking. So I guess like, do you have any like the data on that? Like, can you like enlighten listeners as to like that's a real issue that kids are being trafficked across the border and like they're they're for a good reason.
1 (40m 29s):
Like it's not just because we're, you know, xenophobic or whatever the other agenda is.
0 (40m 35s):
Yeah. You could go again to a global slavery index and you can look up a lot of these stats and it's not just like with the border with the United States and Mexico, it's the border between the Palm in China and Nepal in, in India, all around the world. What happens is that traffickers depend on crossing borders, whether they are state borders or a national borders, because when they do it really complicates and it raises their ability to get away and keep that victim by about 90% depending on the country. And so the reason that this is so important is that we must have checks and balances. For instance, a lot of our teams that are out there on the ground, they rely on border patrol, check stations and airports and airport staff and all those people to be able to be trained, to spot the signs of someone who is actively being trafficked.
0 (41m 24s):
And, you know, there's a lot of great things that people can do to educate themselves, to try to recognize it. For instance, you can go to the airport, lets say at Atlanta, which you know, you wouldn't think it, but it's one of the biggest spikes in the world, not just in Georgia, in the United states' in the world, in the airports. And you can look on the transient of the train's and all that stuff that go around Dallas airport, same way. And you know, they'll look for this and its it's a beautiful move in. That's a good thing. But that is why it's so important because without these checks and balances, without ice, to see our hearts to care without intervention, these guys are just to have free reign and no matter what someone's politics is about border patrol and immigration, I mean This a low is reason enough because of This you want to talk about a pandemic, like you want to talk about a global infection.
0 (42m 13s):
This alone is the reason of why we should keep a lookout on all of the verbal words this by itself. Just imagine if that was our children, when we were like, can you imagine? And I've heard stories about that. People who were against immigration type politics, right? Being able to say, wait a minute, wait a minute. You know, why didn't you stop my Child from being transported across a border. And that people are like, I'm sorry, ma'am our hands are tied because of politics, tragedy. That is okay.
1 (42m 40s):
It makes me get emotional, just thinking about it. And I think for me, like I've heard about human trafficking and child trafficking when I was younger, I didn't necessarily believe it was as big of an issue as it truly is until I became a parent. And then I think You hyperfocused on what can go wrong. So you can try to protect your child as best as you can. And it's really just, it's unbelievable. Like the number is unbelievable and I think that's part of the hang up for some people. So I highly encourage them to like do their own research, to find these statistics and get involved.
0 (43m 13s):
Yeah. Don't take our word for it. Let me please, if you're watching this, you're listening to this. Please go look it up. I don't blame you if you do. I had to look it up. Yeah. It's staggering. I use This it's it will blow your mind and hopefully break your heart. Okay.
1 (43m 26s):
So I've had this question from a couple of girlfriends where they were like convinced they saw someone that might have been being trafficked, like a child. What do you do in that situation? As a civilian with no training, like what's the best way to help somebody? Cause I know their specific fear was like, Oh, what if it's not? And then I I was like, Whoa. Then they just, you know, then it's an inconvenience, but what if it is so like what are some tips I guess like to look for and then like actionable steps to take in the moment.
0 (43m 55s):
Yeah. Great question. Candice thank you so much for bringing that up. Yeah. The first thing is the mindset I'm thinking, wow, I need to be able to observe and be aware. Even if someone doesn't feel safe, intervening themselves and you know, a safe for you, if you're traveling or something, you know, I wouldn't recommend that. But you go like say, if you're at an airport, you go to the airport, just even the ticket people, the people at the desk, you, you just go to these places and you say, Hey, you know, Hey, can you see that girl over there? And what we're looking for is disheveled. Some of the signs that we typically say is look forward to shoveled, kind of like a loss going around. A lot of times these girls will be by themselves, but they'll have spotters watching. If they do get intervened.
0 (44m 35s):
If they do get caught, you know, they don't want their handlers to get arrested along with him because you know, a handler, they handle lots of girls. It's almost like, you know, just, almost like a, what do you call it? The like a conveyor belt thing. They just pass one girl from one handler to another and they have these spotters. So the spotter is go away because they know if they lose that girl, there's five more that they'll send through. But that's why the business of human trafficking is so big. I mean, they make it more money on this and they are drugs or illegal firearms or anything. Cause you can sell a girl over and over and over and use her up. And then when people no longer want to have sex with her, they'll take her two at a labor camp or they'll, they'll take her kidneys is and let her die some where it's so sad.
0 (45m 16s):
Even actors like Sylvester Stallone and his latest Rambo movie or feature in this kind of deal in there. And that he was pretty accurate in the depiction of that in the movie. I encourage you guys to watch if you haven't, but you can do is look for that. You know, somebody who's disheveled someone's close. That just doesn't seem right. You know, a girl that may be scared, you know, it, by herself in this would be more of like a teenager profile. It's a younger person, you know, just look for, you know, incessant crying, tried to get away, you know, overbearing behavior from either a man or a woman. You know, some of their tactics, his, you know, it's not a man handler. Sometimes it's a woman who has somehow some way has been roped into this stuff themselves, for fear of her own safety or her family safety.
0 (45m 57s):
There's this all kinds of tactics. But you go to the, like you're in an airport, goes to that person observe as much as you can about the person in question, you know, who is she with? Why is she wearing, you know, what does, is she sitting at home? Where does it look like she was going? And just report it. If we get enough of these reports, if we get enough of this being communicated, you know, authorities will have to act.
1 (46m 18s):
And I guess so one of the statistics that's kind of been alarming with COVID is like the spike in child abuse and like online predators. So how does that play into the Trafficking? Because for me, I feel like that's a gateway drug, if you will, right. Is a kid's cell phone. And then what I was reading, I think it was the child rescue coalition. Cause they do a lot with like the tech side of, you know, content and like online predators. I'm trying to figure out how to tie that in. I guess what our things to look out for, with a kid that has access to technology, especially when they're doing like at home distance learning and they are on their phone, like more than ever.
0 (46m 58s):
Sure. Well, I mean the smart thing and another great question. This smart thing is for payers to be involved in that in to make sure you do not give your kids just untethered access. We should always be monitoring that now I don't care how old the kid is always be monitoring that because bullying and baiting happens before, you know, it, one of the biggest epidemics of This in our country is in Hi, you know, social economic class girls that get dragged into this. And I say at a mall, we know it's not just third world countries and it's not just poor people, a big thing. And that epidemic let's say in Atlanta, in Dallas, is that, you know, girls will go to the mall and then there'll be kind of a bow or a pimp really is what it is.
0 (47m 39s):
And it's really a handler posing as some suave guy. And then they get connected with their friends and then, you know, they paid close attention and then they get the girl just to say yes to a small, a few things go out on a date, get sexual favors and then they trap. And so they may not be trafficked at all. Sometimes kids are living a double life. They'll go to school, they'll have assemblance of a normal life. But then at night when they get the phone call, they're being pimped out into prostitution, it's slavery. And the parents never know, except for they see the kid's grades. Maybe we start going down, they see signs of depression. Cutting changes in personality, changes in effect, changes in appetite and you know, bruising that the kid can't quite figure out how to talk to their parents about so also monitoring where they go understanding they're friends and the parent's of their friends.
0 (48m 33s):
This is all parents right's and this is what good parents should do. But unfortunately there's so many times parents we're so busy and that are exhausted that they just to give their kids free reign. And that is, you know, just opening up the possibility that these bad things happening.
1 (48m 50s):
It's scary. So we live in, like, what I would say is like a very like normal Q like safe feeling kind of town. And there have been, like, I talked to moms specifically, like better that you know, out in about what the small children and they've like found themselves getting tailed by men. One of our close friends, like had her kids' in a shopping cart and someone tried to like, literally just take them out of the shopping cart. I know. And its like, the stuff can happen anywhere. So I think it's really important for people to just kind of have like that situational awareness. It might sound like a little bit neurotic, but I mean, I can tell you right now, like I know at least five people that have gotten really close to like bad situation
0 (49m 30s):
In the situation awareness, that's a great phrase. And I always recommend parents take this courses online. You go to your local martial arts class. They'll have a lot of them will have courses on this or just look up YouTube videos. There's so many great videos out there about this. There's no reason why we can be educated. And then, you know, if possible create like a mom coalition where we are checking up on the kids, you know, you can do this through, you know, schools, do you know like parents, teachers stuff, you know, any kind of little moms club or dads club or whatever it may be. They'll bring these issues up. But I mean this a very important thing and situational awareness just means my face is. And in my phone, I'm up and I'm looking around, I know where I park and the posture of let's say a victim predators, look for people who just aren't paying attention and that's who they'll go for, you know, nine out of 10 times as opposed to someone who's distracted or overwhelmed carrying the groceries and the baby.
0 (50m 23s):
And there's all kinds of very important things that you can do. And there's a lot of that information online that I recommend that people look up and you know, no one is responsible for that, except for ourselves. We have to be responsible for our own safety. No one has coming to save us in that moment. The police can't be everywhere at once. You know, your husband can't be there all at once. You can't be everywhere with your kid's at once. And so we've gotta create way too close that gap and that situational awareness as much as we can.
1 (50m 51s):
And I think it's also training your kids to right. So I was raised by like a California highway patrol dad and my uncle was the sheriff. So like I had very like big life lessons very early on. Like as soon as I understood language, like they were teaching me like what to look out for what's okay. And not okay. And I have these talks. So like Eric, who is, is total civilian family, right? No ones in law enforcement. And he's like, your dad told you what at what age? And that was like, honestly, I feel like that protected me through college, through high school. Like I always was like looking under my car. I wouldn't walk through parking lot. Like unless I knew where my car was, I had my key ready. That's a good stuff.
1 (51m 31s):
Right. You know what I mean? Like its things that I thought were normal to teach a kid. And then after talking to Eric, like, well, when do we talk to our son about X, Y, or Z? He's like, what do you mean? I was like, what do you mean? Like you have to like also make them aware. And in my mind, as soon as a kid understands language, it's very important to tell them like what adults are allowed to be aware, you know, touch them in bad places. Like You they need to know these things so that they can tell you if something happens. Cause otherwise they're not going to no. And then that adult it's going to be able to influence them and say, it's fine. Like this is normal. As soon as your kid understands language, I like highly encouraged parents to like teach them right and wrong in existence,
0 (52m 10s):
The teaching and educating boundaries also boast esteem. Cause I know, you know, where I have, where I exist, where my boundaries are in life, where my margins are. And when I hurt is early, as we can, where we can know where I'm like, say where my space is, this is mine. That I have a greater chance of claiming that in life, whether it's business or relationships, but if people don't have firm boundaries, then they just get all in mashed and they, you know, the result is they blame themselves with things go wrong. That's why so many, let's say sexual abuse, victims blame themselves when someone else perpetrates that. Because many times they haven't been taught that, wait a minute, that was wrong. You know, that's what that person did to me. They're to blame when we analyze that kind of stuff.
0 (52m 51s):
Oh, it's just terrible for that programing of our self worth.
1 (52m 56s):
Well, I think this was an amazing conversation. Do you want to just remind our listeners how they can support the nonprofit, where they can find you on anything that you're working on?
0 (53m 6s):
Well, thank you so much. You guys Candice and it has been my honor to be here. Thank you for having me on. And people would just look up justice, ventures.org, and you can look there, you know, because of COBIT our funding has been down like 58%, thankfully it's rising again, but just ask yourself, you know, if this was your child, what would you want someone to do? You know, at the very least that we can do is donate some money. And we always are looking for volunteers and people to do number one, educate yourself about Trafficking for your own family safety, but then so that you can look out for other people. Then of course the power of prayer, be praying about this. And if you could get on that website and you donate our lead guys name is Adam. So if you want to donate, just please specify for Adam Adams or where you can put ORC ORC in that line and then they'll know exactly what the funds go for it, but anything that anybody wants to give, whether it's through our organization or any of the others out there, they're really top notch organizations, especially the three that I've mentioned.
0 (54m 1s):
You can't go wrong.
1 (54m 4s):
Well, thank you again. I really appreciate your time. Thank you so much. That's it for this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have the time please rate and review and you can always hit subscribe to stay up to date with our latest episodes. I hope to have you back
2 (54m 21s):