#151 The Silent Killer Inside Every Woman: Autoimmune Disease, Suppressed Anger, and the Truth That Will Terrify You

0 (0s): And I one time had this person who does hand analysis and she said It's really amazing. 1 (5s): She said like palm reading, it's 0 (7s): Okay. Palm reading. 1 (8s): Yeah. Okay. 0 (9s): Because when I'd meet people that would say, I can read your future or I can do these tarot cards for you or let's do this Ouija board, it really turned me off. 1 (18s): She's like, well you're gonna meet this guy from, and he's gonna come from the east and he's gonna have this accent. Like it was just like, it was this grand fairytale for her. Oh 0 (28s): My gosh. Scent is one of the only, it is the only scents that is hardwired to the brain because the receptors are attached right here. So you smell it, it's right at your brain and it tells you right 1 (40s): Away. When I talk to a lot of couples, like most of the sex they're having is five minutes. That five minutes is maybe once a week. 0 (48s): There is no woman I can think of that wouldn't be so thrilled to have a man say, I bought you this candle and we're gonna play with this and I'm, I wanna feel this on your skin and we can smell this together and create a ritual. Hi. Hi. 1 (1m 7s): It's nice to see you in person. 0 (1m 9s): It's so good to be with you. 1 (1m 11s): Yeah, it's weird 'cause it's like the parasocial relationships where you have a digital relationship with someone for a long time and then you feel like you know them. Like I 0 (1m 21s): Can actually, I can actually tell, I kept thinking I'm gonna actually be able to touch you even with a candle. 1 (1m 28s): Yeah. Which is how, how, so we met through Justin originally. 0 (1m 32s): Yes. I was introduced to you through Justin. Exactly. Justin Breen. And what's so fun about introductions from Justin, the great Justin Breen, is that there's literally zero context given. It's like, you need to meet this person, it's going to change your life. This will be the best meeting you've ever had. You know, that kind of thing. And that's what it was. And he was right. He was right. I instantly felt, I mean the second we first talked, I don't even know what we first talked about, but I instantly felt like, oh, you know that feeling like I, I've known you forever and I what would do anything for you? Like that was the feeling I had when I first met you. 1 (2m 8s): Well what was the, so with Justin, like you, so he is, I don't know for anyone that listened to the episode, it's actually one of the, my highest performing episodes in the way that how many people reached out and actually bought his program. Which is insane. 'cause his program is like a $10,000 personal development program. So I was actually really shocked at that. But he even admittedly is he's got very intense Asperger's. So it's just the way that he talks to people sometimes I think is hysterical. 'cause there's zero filter. Yeah. And then when he makes connections, like you said, there's zero context. So sometimes I meet someone lovely like you and we connect right away. And then I recently had a connection that he thought I was just gonna love because he's also really like, he sees as critical as he is of 99% of people. 1 (2m 58s): The 1% of people that he, he does hang out with or include in his circle, he just sees the best in them. Right? Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes to a fault. And he connected me with this person. I was like, Justin, that was a huge 0 (3m 8s): Flop. 1 (3m 9s): Massive flop. 0 (3m 10s): Keep 1 (3m 10s): That person away from me. 0 (3m 12s): Oh, I did the same actually he, it's funny because I try to do the same and I gave him some connections and there was one where he said to me that was a flop. So the karma's all there. It's all, 1 (3m 24s): Yeah. It's not always gonna be a hundred percent. But so when he was connecting you and I, I feel like it wasn't with the candles yet because that wasn't my idea at all. Right. That kind of happened because of your background. Yeah. And I was trying to find some kind of product, e-commerce thing to push just to kind of test the audience and what they want and then launch this new brand in the easiest way, right? Like MVP. But wasn't it something else? I can't remember. 0 (3m 50s): It was, so my thing with Justin is that I am such a huge advocate for love and I was born from parents who loved them. They loved each other so massively. They had such an incredible love affair. I have that story where I wasn't born to parents who ended up getting divorced, like all my friends' parents. And until the day my dad died, which was in 2022, the he would write love poems to my mom regularly. They were so in love, they did everything together. And so I feel like it gave me this ability to understand love on a certain level and feel, I feel so loved and everything I do is from love. And I one time had this person who does hand analysis and she said it's really amazing. 0 (4m 32s): She said 1 (4m 32s): Like, Palm reading, it's 0 (4m 34s): Okay. Palm reading. Yeah. 1 (4m 36s): Okay, let's get, 0 (4m 37s): Yeah. She calls it hand analysis. She swears it's a technology, we're just gonna go with it. So 1 (4m 43s): Okay, 0 (4m 44s): She said every single one, she has all these different, so of course when you hear about palm reading, you hear it like, oh there's the lifeline and you know, you, you hear about these things. She goes much deeper and she actually has you paint your hand and then you press it onto a piece of paper so you can see all the fine lines, everything in your hands. And she said, most people, the fingers, the fingertips, you know they'll be different there you have 10 possible things here. Right. And she said, yours is the same. It's love, love, love, love love. 10 times. She said you were just this warrior for love. And I think, so the reason that, to get back to your question, the reason we were introduced is for some reason and he, you know, he connects wild dots. 0 (5m 29s): He finds them in his Asperger's brain. But he thought you were someone who would resonate with how much I love love. And that was it I think, although he never said that out loud. But I felt like that was the connection initially was talk about what you think about, 'cause I was thinking about twin flames. I was talking to him about a concept, twin flames. And that was where you have to meet, you have to talk to. So that's how we were connected initially. 1 (5m 57s): So yeah, with the twin flame stuff, that always kind of annoys me. Especially on social media. Yeah. 'cause it's like everyone thinks they have theirs and then they have the idea of what that's supposed to be. Which everyone thinks it's a romantic soulmate, which it's usually not actually. It's usually some, it's a split soul is what they say. So it's this, they right, this gets kind of blue. We can't, but they say that the soul is much bigger than the body. So like the body is actually inside of the soul, right? It extends further past. So a twin flame is supposed to be like that soul came in and split. And then it's you seeing yourself that's the twin. Which is ends up being like a really hard relationship because if you have a kid and your kid is like you, it's like all of the things that trigger you or the parts of you that you haven't really sorted out yet. 1 (6m 42s): So it's the same thing with the other person. So these people will be in this relationship and like, this is the love of my life and they're my twin flame. I'm like, first of all, that's super rare. Super, super rare. Everyone thinks they have one. You don't. And then usually it's not romantic. So I'm like, you guys are all using it wrong. 0 (6m 58s): I agree. And it started with soulmates. Do you remember soulmates? Good old soulmates. So that was the thing first. And that was the, everybody was, I found my soulmate, you're my soulmate. You need to be my soulmate. And I remember that language just being everywhere. And in somewhere it flipped to twin flame. But for me, what I mean when I say it, and this cannot be proven and so it, you can come after me for this everyone, it's completely subjective. This is up to you. But there is a feeling you have with certain people when you meet them. And it doesn't have to be romantic, but there is that familiarity. Like I must, I know you on a deep level, I know that I know you more than I'm not just meaning you. There's some weird, you can't put your finger on it. 0 (7m 39s): Kind of a feeling. That can be called a twin flame. That can be called a soulmate. To me that's more of a soulmate. Mm. And the only reason I even know this term twin flame is that I had gone, and this is very woo I, when I was going through a divorce, I was really lost. It was in 2008, 2009. And I had a friend and she said, you have to go to my healer. And I immediately wanted to run to the hill for the hills. And I was, you know, I was just rolling my eyes because I was raised, I told you about my parents being super in love, but also pretty woo woo. But because of that, like my mom always taught me before she taught me how to do something normal. Like I don't even know like how to tie your shoes. 0 (8m 20s): She taught me how to surround myself in white light. So I was raised in that kind of a house. Which funny enough made me very skeptical because when I'd meet people that would say, I can read your future or I can do these tarot cards for you, or let's do this Ouija board, it really turned me off. And I felt like, I call it low frequency. It feels fake. It feels weird. So when she told me go to this healer, I was so skeptical. And I said no. And she said, no, I, she's really different. You need to, you just need to go. And I was at such a lost place. I was, I was literally, I was so broken. I was having constant heart palpitations. And they put me on beta blockers three times a day and we couldn't get my resting heart rate below 90 with three times a day on beta blockers. 0 (9m 4s): I wasn't sleeping, I was losing like five pounds a day. I mean it was, I, it was crazy. I was disappearing. I was, it just was incent in intense fight or flight. Unbelievable. So I thought, okay fine, I'm gonna go because nothing else is working. And I went and she was amazing. She gave me tools that I would say their visualizations that helped me feel safe, helped me, felt I felt protected. I can't tell you that what she said was true, but I can tell you that it helped me. And that's what mattered to me at the moment. You know, at the time. And that's what matters to me. With any of these things that people try, I would ask, is it working for you? 0 (9m 48s): Are you happy now? Are you feeling more at ease? Are you calmer? Are you safer? Are you all the things that you wanna be? If yes, great. If not, no. You know, so, but she's the one that said the twin flame concept. I'd never heard of it before. So back in 2008 she said, you have a twin flame. And the twin flame is your first boyfriend from high school. We had recently reunited and I, I was skeptical, but she started to describe what this meant. And her description was, it's a love that's so intense that it's painful. It's painful to be with them and it's painful not to be with them. And that resonated because I hadn't seen him in 16 years. 0 (10m 32s): And I remember through the 16 years I kept having these recurring dreams where I would go to him in my dream and he would wrap his arms around me and I would like be whole and feel safe and comforted. And I, that's so weird. 'cause I was married to someone else and had children with someone else. But in the end I said, okay fine, I believe you. He's my twin flame. Okay, what now? You know? And there was really nothing to do with that except to recognize that it's a way to describe a kind of intense love that is will challenge every part of you. You can't hide who you are at all from your twin flame. At least in her description. And that's the truth with my husband. I can't hide who I am, nor do I want to. I'm finally seen for fully who I am and I don't have to prove anything to him. 0 (11m 15s): And it's such a relief. But it was, it's been a tumultuous, you know, unbelievable ride that we've had. And so when I talk about twin flames, it's not that way that you hear the cliche way, but it's my own personal experience. 1 (11m 31s): No, well that makes sense to me. That makes way more sense. But it's the couples that you see that are posting, right? It's like trying to prove hashtag twin flame. This is so gross. And the healing things interesting. Some of it, there's truth too, right? Like acupuncture does work, certain essential oils work, which is why when you're pregnant, like you can't be, you can't have basil for example 'cause that can make contractions or sage or no, I'm sorry it's sage. You can't have sage burden 'cause that can induce contractions. So we do know that there is a physical effect with some of this stuff. But more importantly with something like that would be even the placebo effect. Yeah. So whether or not it's actually doing something, if you can make your mind believe it and then you get healing that way, then that's all that really matters. And then if you don't have the side of effects of a pill, then that's even better. 1 (12m 13s): You know, it's the people that kind of get lost in it. And I always say it's kind of lar, it's like LARPing is what I see online with all the spiritual stuff and the healing and the charlatans that are doing the tarot cards and like the crystal grids. I'm not saying there's nothing to it. 'cause I've done some of those meditations and I swear that is how I got pregnant with my first is doing all of the work with a shaman. But there are a lot of people that don't know what they're doing and they just take your money. We were in Sedona recently and there's this lady that has been there for decades, like decades on the main strip. So I'm thinking she's gotta be legit 'cause she's paying this rent and she's been here forever and she would've been found out by now and she's got great reviews and we waited for like an hour to go see her. 1 (12m 60s): It was me and my old nanny and she did both of our readings. And I kind of knew it was fucked soon as she came out because she was just like, first of all, we live as far east in the US as you can, right? Like to on the east coast. And she's like, well you're gonna meet this guy from, and he's gonna come from the east and he's gonna have this accent. Like it was just like, it was this grand fairy tale for her. How my gosh, she's gonna meet this foreign man and they're gonna fall in love and have two twin ba. Like it was just so specific. And I was like, oh no, this is not gonna be good. And then I do my reading and she, she's like, oh, well you and you and this nanny are gonna be friends for life and even if she's not working for you. 1 (13m 45s): And then that relationship ended like a week later she like up and quit outta nowhere. We certainly don't talk because of the way that she left and all of that. Like that lady was a total problem. So there's a lot of that out there too. So it gives everyone a bad rap. Yeah. You know, 0 (14m 1s): I think that what I've found in all my years of being around these things is that it comes down to that moment in the Wizard of Oz where Glinda, the good witch, says you had the power all along, just click your heels. I feel like anything that works, it's because we have it in us. It's not that it's coming from an outside source. And even with, I mean you mentioned acupuncture. What's wonderful about that is it, I've had a lot of acupuncture. Acupuncture is the one thing that cured me of these hives that I had covering. Imagine this, I was senior year of high school and I was covered in hives and no doctor could figure out why and no doctor could get rid of it. So I was taking, you know, Benadryl every day falling asleep and it was horrible. 0 (14m 43s): And an acupuncturist said, you ha, you know you have too many hot properties and we're gonna pull it and cool the system. But it's my system doing the work. It's just these needles going into the certain meridians that help. So I really think it's always anyone that says they're doing something to you. I'm skeptical and I say I don't, I don't want you to do something to me. I would like you to help me remember that I have the ability that I have my ruby slippers and I'll click my own heels. Thank you. Do you have thyroid stuff too? Yeah. So I was in, when I decided that it was time finally to leave the marriage that I'd been in. And just to give you a tiny background so people understand, I was someone who didn't believe in divorce. I got married at 23, but I was with him since I was 17. 0 (15m 26s): I had just graduated high school. We started dating and he was eight years older and he already had a master's degree. He was already had a professional career. And here I was just graduating high school and then we were married and then had two children. And so it was, I kept talk telling myself, even though this was a very, it was just such a, a not nourishing relationship for me. It was, I don't, I don't lightly use the terms like people hear all the time. Say, I hear all the time people saying he was emotionally abusive, he was financially abusive. This is what people who know me have said about my marriage. I don't even own that. But I will tell you that I lost myself. 0 (16m 7s): And in that I thank my thyroid disease because what I ended up with, I would talk myself, I have a very strong sense of justice and I would talk myself into, I must make this work. He's not that bad. I, I'm sure there's more I can do. I'm sure there's something that can happen. And he's never home anyway, so I don't even have to deal with him very much. And so I developed a lump in my throat and it was Graves disease and that saved me because it was my body saying, you are not, we're giving you a physical lump in your throat. Your heart is racing. We're not letting you ignore this. So I thank it. I thank my thyroid disease. That was Grave's disease. 0 (16m 47s): That was 2008. And then I had the complication of the one medication they gave me for it. Which one I was allergic to, which I don't remember Methol, maybe it's, it's something for the hyperthyroid. I was allergic. So I started getting the hives again and that was like whole no PTSD. I don't wanna have hives again. And I hadn't had them since high school. And there I was 38 years old with hives again. And they said, no, we can't, you can't be on this so we have to remove your thyroid entirely or you can do radioactive iodine treatment. And I was terrified at both, but I had this really strong sense and this is where we could go back to my, you know, sensitivity and woo woo and my upbringing. But if I'm gonna be put under right now, I'm not gonna come back. 0 (17m 27s): I had this really strong fear of dying. I just didn't trust that I could do that. So, and I, I've never taken drugs and I don't drink alcohol. And I think that my bo and I know I've now learned my body does react really strong. I knew something on a certain level, like I just couldn't go under. So I did the radioactive iodine treatment and I was really afraid. But what a good thing about that is that I said I knew one day I'd be able to regenerate my own thyroid naturally. And because with radioactive iodine treatment, they did the very lowest dose. They said you will still have some thyroid function. I haven't yet, to be totally honest with you, I haven't yet tried to regenerate my own thyroid, but I'm so close to that moment where I'm gonna take the time to do it. 1 (18m 15s): So are you on synthetic thyroid right 0 (18m 17s): Now? Every day I have to take one pill a day. But I'm in. But it's perfect. Every time I go, my number's slightly off. We slightly adjust, but for the most part it has been pretty even. Are you having that too? Well, 1 (18m 30s): No. So I, I didn't, I didn't end up having to do the radioactive treatment they wanted to for a second. And they also talked about taking it out and I said, I'm not removing an organ. That's insane. So I did PTU for a while, which was a terrible drug to put a young 20 something year old on. Like, you only give that to pregnant women because it's really bad for your liver. There's a ton of side effects. You gain a ton of weight. I went from like 90 pounds to like one 30 overnight basically. And if you're a female, that sucks, right? Yeah. So that happened. I actually got fired from my doctor 'cause I called and like chewed him out and said that he didn't know what he was doing and he didn't like that. 1 (19m 13s): So I got fired as a patient, found a new doctor, he switched me to Methol, which is a lot more gentle. But the problem with that, it's because mine was so high when I first got diagnosed, they were really scared to play around with my dosage and I knew I wasn't where I needed to be. 'cause like the thing is, is if you come in this huge range of what they say is normal, but you still have these signs. They don't listen to what you, the patient are saying. They just look at this paper and they say, well, you're within the normal range, so we're not doing anything. So I started reading a ton of Joe Dispenza's work and most of his work is on self-healing. He works with a ton of cancer patients, people that have had seizures and strokes and brain damage and all of that. 1 (19m 54s): And like they people that were even partially paralyzed and he's able to help them. Mm. And there's story after story of these people doing self-healing. So I did all of his stuff. He's got a bunch of meditations and just honestly a lot of intuition. So my doctors like, don't touch your medicine. And I'd go back, you know, six months later and they're like, you're still on the same dose. I was like, oh no, I cut it in half and they'd freak out because they're like, you can go into a thyroid storm and those are deadly. And I was like, I'm fine. And so I tapered it down and this is obviously not medical advice, so don't fuck with your medicine based off of what I'm saying. But I did that and then I got to a place where I was only needing a pill a week. And then I got pregnant with my second and I felt super off like no energy, not depressed, but just flat, you know what I mean? 1 (20m 45s): And I gained way more weight the second time. And then after I couldn't lose all of it, like I was holding onto like an extra 10 pounds and it just wouldn't shake. I was like, I know that this flipped and these doctors are kind of idiots. So I just completely went off of the medicine, went back to re like I reread Joe's books and I've been off now for like a year a no two years, zero medicine and I'm good. I've had zero symptoms whatsoever. And again, my doctor was freaking out because he's like, we have to check right away. They did ul like ultra ultrasounds on everything. And it was good. And when I was asking him about diet, for example, and I think most people know this now, that doctors have maybe a day's worth of nutrition class before they get their, you know, their MD and then they think they know everything. 1 (21m 33s): He's like, you need to basically be vegetarian and eat all of these whole grains and stay away from red meat specifically. And I'm like, well now I've lost your all, you lost all of my faith and trust. If that's the advice you're giving me. Because what you're, there's Harvard studies that are coming out right now, and specifically for autoimmune disorders, including thyroid. One of the best things you can do is actually a carnivore diet and specifically red meat. So no one knows what they're talking about. And people make fun of all of these people that are doing their own research on their phone. They're like, research is just reading. Well, it's just reading for a fucking doctor too, right? Yeah. That's what research is. Unless they're actually in the lab conducting the experiment, which is very few of the doctors. 1 (22m 13s): So yeah, I think that you shouldn't belittle people and say that they don't have the aptitude to figure out their own health. That's your responsibility. Because your doctor sees hundreds of patients a day, you get 10 minutes with them and you expect them to, to help you on any real, like any real way. You know what I mean? So I think patients with certain diseases or disorders end up becoming experts in that field in, in a way. 'cause you have to, otherwise you're gonna be living a life where you either are constantly in pain, not functioning the way that you want to or you end up dying. You know? So you have no other choice but to really know what's going on with your body. 0 (22m 49s): Yeah. And psychological, I mean, huge acknowledgement to you for what you did and believe and knowing. And you have amazing agency, which is one of the things I love about you. And that's really the key right there, is that not waiting for Glinda, the good witch to come and tell you you have the power, but to actually know that you do and that we all do. And even the attitude of, I'm going to figure this out and solve this. I'm gonna fix myself, I'm gonna help myself, I'm gonna heal. Even that attitude is, is raising the possibility of healing. I believe. 1 (23m 19s): Well when I got, when I was first sick, what was really frustrating, and this happens a lot, everyone always says it happens more to women and they try to make it, they try to make it into this institutionalized thing that no one listens to women, right? And they take it to this feminist place, but it, there's way more context. So yes, most women, when you go to the doctor, the doctor will ignore whatever it is you're saying about your symptoms and they kind of already have an idea of what's wrong with you. And that's the path they, they go down. The reason that it doesn't pertain to men is 'cause men don't go to the doctor. Mm. Like they don't go unless they're dying. So you can't really compare the two because men will be like, oh, I've had this ache in my chest for three weeks. And then they go and they're like, oh, you had a heart attack three weeks ago. 1 (23m 60s): You know what I mean? So you can't compare the two. I think if men were to go to, they'd probably be dismissed just as much. They just aren't going that early. But I was going, 'cause I started having like all of the symptoms, like the shakiness and I started dropping weight and just like fell off. My resting heart rate was at 200. Oh terrify. So if I sat up, I could faint. Yeah. Yeah. And they're like, oh well you're just stressed 'cause and this was a ch a Chapel hill doctor, right? So that's supposed to mean something. Okay. So it's actually more embarrassing for you. I was, first she thought I was stressed 'cause of finals. Then she thought I had an eating disorder and then she thought I was just dehydrated. Mm. Those were the three guesses on three different times that I went. 1 (24m 41s): Each time I went, I was probably like five or 10 pounds lighter. So it was pretty significant. Yeah. Scary. So, yeah. And I have a lot of issues with the medical establishment. 0 (24m 52s): I do too. And I have so many stories. I don't even wanna go there because I wanna take this time. I want, I feel so called to say this candle right here. I have to tell you, there's a segue here that I have to go to. We're gonna have to have another episode about doctors because I've had a lot of experiences that I'd love to share with you and your audience on that. But when I was diagnosed with the Autoimmune Disease and I was getting a divorce, I was so, I was like, what can I do to feel stable? What can I do to be, I had two young children at the time, they were five and eight and I was scared and I thought, what can I do to be, you know, I've gotta do something to sustain my family. I'm gonna have to actually, I was a full-time mom, so I wanna have my own thing and be an entrepreneur. 0 (25m 36s): I was always entrepreneurial anyway. And that's when I found out that all the candles, I kept lighting candles all over the house and giving myself, like making wishes and intentions to please, you know, what's next for me and keep my family safe. And just using it in prayer. And then I found out they're toxic. And it was, and it was like, what? I can't even have beautiful scented candles. 1 (25m 59s): I had a conversation with him just 0 (26m 1s): Ridiculous. 1 (26m 1s): I was like all the candles and they're 0 (26m 3s): Disgusting. Okay. So they're totally toxic. Lemme tell you everyone, I'm so sorry, look around your home right now, but probably you have toxic candles. And they were contributing to my Autoimmune Disease a hundred percent. They were petrochemicals. They have using fragrances that were estrogen mimics. That were estrogen disruptors. I was just, and I was really upset because I, I am very connected to scent. Scent is, I mean we could talk a lot about what scent does and I want to, scent is one of the only, it is the only scent that is hardwired to the brain. Meaning when you smell something, it doesn't have to pass through the whole nervous system and do all this to get to where it needs to go to inform your brain whether it's a great scent that you love or that you hate because the receptors are attached right here. 0 (26m 53s): So you smell it and it's right there. It's right at your brain and it tells you right away. And I think that it's something we've been born with. I think it's something that has protected us. For instance, when you're pregnant, you have a very strong sense of smell. Why? Because it's going to protect you. You're gonna then know when I smell this chicken, it's not okay, which would damage my fetus. Right? My baby wouldn't be okay with that because our sense of smell is so important in that way. It keeps us safe. So everyone can understand there are scents that we smell and we're immediately transported. It's like the memory is so clear, I smell that thing. And it can be good and it can be really bad. You, it can repel you. Also people, you can get around people you're like, I love their smell. 0 (27m 35s): And then there's like, I hate their smell so much. I don't even know how to deal with this. So it's very, very powerful. So I didn't wanna not have these. I was like, no, I, I was really upset. And that's when I started. I'm not a big researcher. I'm a very intuitive person. I like other people to do research and there are people I trust to do it. But I'm being completely transparent with you. I don't love researching. But in this case, I got really into it. I got really into researching, well what could I possibly burn that would smell amazing and that wouldn't harm me and wouldn't harm my children and my dog and hurt my autoimmune system. And that's when I discovered this kind of wax, which is a proprietary blend only made in California and it uses almost all of it is coconut. 0 (28m 17s): So the coconut, which we all know the beautiful, we've learned all these beautiful properties. You have a great picture of the coconut right there. Coconut has incredible properties to it. And it's really the only, if you wanna also talk about like environmental impact, there are people who are like, well is it eco-friendly? Yes. So coconut, it doesn't harm the tree to get the coconut and to use the meat of the coconut and the oil of the coconut. So that's amazing. But then there's the whole fragrance thing and you brought up essential oils. So there is a misconception that, because the second thing people ask me when I say I have, I only create really clean candles, non-toxic. And they say, oh, are they soy and are they essential oils? That's always what I get every time. 0 (28m 58s): No, they're not soy by the way, soy is an estrogen mimicker. So even if 1 (29m 3s): The wax is soy that is affecting 0 (29m 6s): You, it can, okay, it can Soy is better than petroleum. Yeah. I'm not gonna say that soy is bad, but because I was dealing with specific Autoimmune Disease that didn't want to have soy in it, in its in my environment because of the estrogen issues I was having through the thyroid disease, I didn't want it. And which 1 (29m 24s): Is a lot of women, 0 (29m 25s): Oh my gosh, like so many. So, okay then the fragrance. So essential oils, here's the deal. Are essential oils safe? No, some are right. Some are safe for some people and some aren't. Like anything else, you know, we all have different sensitivities. You have to please be responsible. Please figure out what works for you. For me personally, some essential oils are too intense for me. I get reactions, I have really sensitive skin and I have a sensitive system and I just don't, all essential oils don't work. But here's the big, big, big problem with essential oils and candles. Essential oils are not meant to burn with an open flame. It destroys their properties except for very few. 0 (30m 7s): There are a few essential oils that you can burn with an open flame and they're okay. Most essential oils, you have to diffuse them and that that can work. So you make sure you've got one that works for you and you diffuse it or you can use, you can rub it, right? So I had this issue like, well, well then what? I mean I was doing the research, right? And I didn't even know what would be safe. And then I, I worked with, I worked with two big perfumers in the US and they have ways of manufacturing and this is where people will say what manufactured, but that's synthetic. That's not good. This is all a narrative that we've been taught. But this is in a lab they have worked on and studied carefully what will not have toxic effects on people. 0 (30m 47s): And they are able to, they do use some essential oils and plants and synthetics. And the combination without disrupting your system is what works. But you have to know, and I'm not, I, I don't make these, I work with labs that do, and I've worked with them now for years. So I started, when I first made my candles back in the divorce, it was 2009. And as we go forward, this is where you and I, it turned into the candle love that we had together because I don't know, in one of our conversations you said, I really wanna bring out a product. And I said, well I could see you doing a candle. And actually I have been hiding. Like I have been hiding the fact, 'cause it's not my brand that there's something so essential that can happen with this particular wax because, and I, I used to talk about it, I actually did a trademark, the wearable candle, this can be worn on your body and all of my fragrances are skin safe. 0 (31m 43s): And I make sure they are because even, and I did this before, I thought, oh I wanna make a candle. That's a body product. That's actually not what I thought it was. That it has to be safe enough. 'cause my kids would always put their hands in my candle and I wanted to know, I mean I was doing all this research, I'm like, I'm not gonna stop there. Can I know that actually it's safe for them to touch, you know? And that's where it started. But now you get to take it somewhere totally different so we can, and this is your candle. 1 (32m 7s): Well that's why I was asking, we were coming up with the scents and I was like, well 'cause going back to essential oils, like certain ones you ca can actually use internally and it's fine. And then other ones I would advise against. So we did not do any that I would comfortably say can, can be used that way. But you can use it for wax play or for body massage, you know, external. Yeah. But 0 (32m 31s): Yeah, 1 (32m 32s): Absolutely. Yeah. So like foreplay or just like a nice massage, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I, when I was posting these for the very soft launch, I had people, they were like, what is a body candle? And what do you mean use wax? They all thought it was so weird. I was like, if you don't know that you can use oil to massage your partner, I feel very bad for you. Yeah, yeah. 0 (32m 52s): Well then maybe I'm surprised actually that you got that feedback. I didn't know that 1 (32m 55s): It was from dudes. You know what I mean? So I think like if you're bringing anything extra to the bedroom, it's usually a woman that does that. I think most men are okay with just 0 (33m 4s): Yeah. 1 (33m 5s): Showing up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was looking at the autoimmune stuff. So there's about 8% of the population that has an autoimmune disorder slash disease and 80% are women. Wow. So maybe ditch the soy. 0 (33m 19s): Yeah. Yeah. And I've also, I remember I went to this a therapy that I was doing. I tried so many things when I was sick and I, one of them said, it's when you have a codependency issue. When you are a caretaker, when you have the disease to please, it almost always goes along with creating Autoimmune Disease. 1 (33m 37s): Gabor Monte talks about that a lot too. So he says one of the worst things, I think it was a LS specifically, the reason why so many women have these diseases is because they have an unhealthy relationship with anger. So a lot of them, it's what I don't get. I'm more of like a dude's girl. I kind of always have been, I don't relate well to a lot of females. But same, no, except you, 0 (34m 5s): I mean exception. 1 (34m 6s): No, I mean I have a couple, but I've never been a girl that has a lot of female friends. It's just never been my, my thing. But most women I talk to, they say saying no is really hard. I'm like, I'm pretty sure that was my first word. Like it's saying no has never been an issue. But for a lot of women it's really, really, really difficult. Or expressing anger. Again, that's probably was one of my first emotions as well. So both of those things I can't relate to, but the stifling and kind of suppressing of the anger versus, and this kind of gets wooed, but there is some research, and this is where Gabor mate's work comes in, is a direct relationship to very agreeable women. 1 (34m 47s): And then Autoimmune Disease is later on in life. And he was specifically looking at a LS and dementia and things like that. So it's very important to, to have healthy anger, be able to say no. Right? But for those 80% of women, or the 8%, you know, population starts with like your diet and then just the toxins that you have around your house. But 0 (35m 10s): Yeah, and I have, I love the anger thing. I I have been accused of some being someone who I'm never, you never see me angry. And I'm often, I was told this about myself, you know, you hear these things. I'm that person that I'm always calm patient. This is what people say about me. And it, it really nearly killed me. And learning that anger. And I had this, this wonderful moment with a friend of mine who said, you know, it's a virtue. Wrath is, wrath can be a virtue because it means you're protecting something. How can you not get angry? There's so many reasons why anger is so powerfully important. And to be friends with that and to allow that. 0 (35m 51s): And we are taught as a certain, there's a certain, you know, I'm, I'm a Gen X woman who, I was an actress when I was young. And I was playing always the going up for ingenue roles. So I always had to be the nice, you know, nice and the nice girl. And all I wanted was to play the Wicked Witch. And I, when I was in fourth grade, I remember begging, I said, please, we were doing a, a production of The Wizard of Oz. I always go back to that 'cause it's strong in my life, but it's a recurring theme. And I begged them to let me play the witch. And they said, no, you know, you look, you're just, you're not the witch. No, no. And I said, would you just let me cackle, please. I had so much built up anger. 0 (36m 33s): I was in fourth grade. And I remember when I did that cackle at that audition, everyone's hair stuff, they were like, okay, you can play the witch. Oh. And so I played the witch and it was, I think it was, that was the first in, you know, moment where it felt so good to be, I wanna say to be bad. That's not really what it was. It was that we, it's so naturally a part of us, you know? And I, I I welcome you. If you're a woman listening to this right now and, and you haven't found your cackle, please. It feels so good. 1 (37m 6s): So where do you think that comes from? Because again, that's not relatable to me. So where does the fear, the suppression come from, from being able to express anger or know as 0 (37m 15s): A woman, I'm gonna look ugly? Mm. I mean, it came from this really, it's really surface. I'm gonna look ugly and I'm gonna scare people. I'm too intense. If I show you my angry side, it could hurt you because it's so intense. I don't wanna hurt you. I remember that feeling. I don't have it anymore, by the way. Yeah. I'm not afraid of hurting anybody. Everyone can take care of themselves. But I did, I grew up with that. I grew up with that feeling. And it, it had to do a lot with the dynamic in my house too. There was, with all the love that we had, you know, and my family, they were so, my parents are so different from other families. And I grew up in Orange County, California, and I always say we were the freaks of Orange County. 0 (37m 57s): We were so different. My father was a composer, a poet, my mom, a flamenco dancer, choreographer. And we had people from all over the world coming to our house all the time and all these different things happening. And I, I felt a little unsafe because it was so wild and so fun. And I wanted discipline. Mm. I was a little child going, I do wanna have a curfew. My friends, I'll have a curfew. They have a normal bedtime. They have, you know, a vegetable and a meat at their, we weren't allowed to have meat. I was actually raised a vegetarian. I now, I'm a total carnivore. I fall, I 1 (38m 32s): Have a ranch. 0 (38m 33s): I, yeah, we eat cows. But it's, it was, so there was this, this sense of I had to be, I had to hold it all together. And I think that's why I wasn't allowing myself to get angry 'cause it would hurt everybody around me. And there was a perception that, oh, ithe, she's very angelic and safe to be around. And so I didn't wanna bust that. That was a ridiculous thing. And it wasn't true. But I was playing a role and it, you know, and it nearly took me down. 'cause that's, I, that's why I got Autoimmune Disease. A hundred percent. 1 (39m 5s): Yeah, I think so too. Mine. 'cause that's what they say kind of in the spiritual woo place is that if you have a thyroid thing specifically, it's some kind of trauma of like suppression or, or lack of self-expression in both of those things. Totally. And then mine kicked in, I was on a vacation, not a vacation, it was a work trip, but it was in West Palm. So I was kind of double dipping. And I was there with my mom and she's just, she's hard for me sometimes. And I remember her and I were just really getting into it and just like it cl I felt it click on and then that was when I got really sick. So yeah, it's definitely related to, to stress as well. 0 (39m 48s): I've touched your candle a bit and Okay. For those of you at home, we need to tell you to blow it out first before you touch it. But I'm doing it against the rules. So what's fun about coconut wax? 1 (40m 0s): Blow it out before you use 0 (40m 1s): It. Yeah. And trim the wick. What's fun about coconut wax is it does get liquid at just over a hundred degrees. So it's a really nice soft, I don't love to, I don't wanna burn myself. I'm not that person. There are people that play with candles and they're the paraffin candles and they literally get burned. Yeah, I don't want that. I want it to be, I just love it. It's just so good. And so it's a great foot massage. It's a beautiful way to play. Just soft. And then your scent. I'm obsessed with your scent. And I say your scent because I interviewed you and I probably asked you some weird questions, but I wanted to get a sense of what is your signature scent? And so anyone that buys this candle, you're gonna know what Candace's signature scent is. 0 (40m 45s): You're gonna know what she loves and what she wants you to smell and be in your environment. And it is so beautiful. It's sophisticated, it's warm, it's sensual. It doesn't feel feminine or masculine to me. It feels like it lives in a different space, kind of rises above all of that. And it, it's just, it's comforting but also inspiring to me. 1 (41m 10s): Yeah. I like it a lot too. I love it. And these ones are really pretty with the gold. I was like, I don't know if that's too much. 'cause it's, it's actually 22 karat gold. But you're gonna do it, do it all the way. Right? Oh, I love it. And it's got a spout, which I think is awesome. Yeah, because these ones are great. It's, and they're much cheaper, you know. Yeah. And they, they pour just fine. But I prefer the spout. 0 (41m 32s): Well this is so beautiful. So what, what made this, what was this inspiration? So this, this 1 (41m 37s): One I love with the design. So you have what's supposed to be mean and there's just a bunch of wolves on it. I had this, it was one of the last psychedelic, psychedelic facilitated, I hate saying the word journey, but like, what else 0 (41m 53s): Am I gonna use? 1 (41m 54s): It just sounds so stupid. 0 (41m 56s): Twin flames and journeys. 1 (41m 58s): I hate, I hate it because here's the thing, I know I believe in so much of that stuff. Like I love anything spiritual or metaphysical. I think psychedelics have their place all of the things. But it, it's when you listen to the people again that are LARPing and then that's their entire vocabulary or these things. Yeah. Like nietzche things. I, I just can't. But I did this MDMA psilocybin thing and what came to me and then it came to me in that, and then also in the weeks after, you know how you'll start to have more serendipity or you'll kind of pull patterns or see things and you're like, there's no way that's coincidental. 1 (42m 39s): So I ran into this artist in New Jersey and she had this, she was doing a whole gallery display. And a lot of it was women with wild animals. And it was the idea of being held and free at the same time. So how can you maintain agency freedom, independence but still not do it in a way. And I think this is where feminism kind of veers off to a way where you are kind of isolating yourself and not allowing anyone to be there for you or support you or like wi like witness life with you. 1 (43m 19s): And it's both, right? So how do you do both at the same time? Like, and a lot of people do that. You lose yourself in a relationship. You lose yourself in motherhood or you lose yourself in whatever role you are at work. So how would you maintain your true self, but also welcome someone else in with you? So that's kind of what I wanted to do with that. I 0 (43m 42s): Love that. And the word Ephemera speaks to that Ephemera. It's like something you can't hold it and keep it. It's there, but it's diaphanous. It's there and it's not. And it's, it's beautiful that you using the name Ephemera for this and it's just a, it's a gorgeous candle. And yes, the 22 Keat gold. And this was also done by it's fun because this was an artist that you collaborated with and she personally made each one of these and you have a very limited edition of them. 1 (44m 7s): Yeah. So get vailable, you only available, you only a 0 (44m 9s): Few of these. So, so I don't know who's gonna be lucky enough to get these, but they're gonna be beautiful to use after the fact too, after the candle's done. And it's fun with this kind of wax, it's, it's just, it, the whole vessel will become completely clean so easily when you're done using the candle. So, and I did say trim the wicks, I'm gonna say it again. It's not a joke. Seriously. It's gonna make your candle last longer. Don't take this outta context, but yes, it will make it last longer. It will burn better and safer. And who wouldn't want that? You know? But we don't, we don't think about that. So I always remind people to trim the wick to at least a quarter inch after you've burned it. Let it solidify and trim it and then it's gonna burn more, more beautifully and longer. 1 (44m 50s): Okay, I'll do that because I've not been doing that. But mine don't stay lit because I have like this tiny little creature that follows me around everywhere and blows candles out when I'm not looking. And then I'll walk by. I'm like, I know, I just lit that. It's completely out. So, but that's what both of, I can't have candles in the house at the stage of my life. Yeah. It 0 (45m 9s): Just doesn't work. You have to No, but but for, you know, for grownup time, you can, and it's in our DNAI mean candles throughout all cultures. There is, that's why I think kids are so drawn to them too. I mean, look at this, the flame, like there are people that they do whole meditations staring at a candle flame. Every single culture across the world, as long as we've ever had recorded time, has had some ritual. Something meaningful with a candle or with flame. So yeah, I'm just, I'm so glad that I was able to figure out how to do this without it hurting us. That was a big, really important. So I didn't wanna live without them. 1 (45m 50s): Yeah, me too. And I wanted, so when I was trying to come up with a product, I wanted it to be something in the play space, but not necessarily like so on the nose. And I think that that's why this one is good because when I talk to a lot of couples, like most of the sex they're having is five minutes. Like that's it. And it's super disconnected. And then they wonder why they're disconnected with their partner in general. And then that five minutes is maybe once a week. Like that's not enough. So, but I can create something that requires some amount of effort. Right, because you're gonna be massaging it hopefully. Yeah, yeah. Using it in some way. Extend that time with your person Yeah. For a little bit longer. And that's a good thing. 0 (46m 29s): And I would even suggest setting an intention if this isn't too weird, but when you are together, if you light it together and just like you're making wish on your birthday, you make a wish or set an intention for each other. Something about you want for each other. And then as you're using the candle, then you leave that your bedroom or your space where you were doing that and you're smelling that. You have that scent to remind you of that intention and it lives throughout your day so you can keep going back to it like, Hmm hmm. 1 (46m 58s): It does though. It really, yeah, because that if you smell your person on you, you know, later on the, in the day, it goes back to having the immediate memory. Yeah. Which is why so many theme parks will spend money to make a water smell a certain way because then it brings you back and you wanna revisit that place. It's very intentional. Right. 0 (47m 15s): So create wonderful experiences here with your partners and then you're gonna remember that and this scent is always gonna bring you back. So that's, that's gonna be very powerful 'cause you're creating a memory. But I'm also curious when people smell this and I hope they let you know and you get some feedback if it reminds them of anything, if it's not new, if there's something in it that is, I think a really good fragrance, which this is to me, thanks to your story you wanted to tell in scent. I think that it reminds us of things. I think it's more than, it's deeper than just, oh, this is brand new. It's, I love this scent by elo. No, it's something, oh it's, what is it? I can't quite put my, you know, there's that feeling like you've all, like I said, when you have, you meet somebody and you feel like I've always known you or I've known you before somehow, or I know you better than if I just met you. 0 (48m 2s): That's, I think that can do it too. A really good scent can do that. 1 (48m 6s): Yeah. I'm actually, I was really pleasantly surprised with all the orders that came in right before Christmas. They were almost shocking. They were almost all dudes. But they would send in, I know, but they would send in these really thoughtful messages and like, okay, like how do I use this? Or which sent do you recognize, recommend for my, my lady? And like, they, like they're doing this really romantic gesture. And I think that that was really adorable. I liked 0 (48m 30s): It. Oh my gosh. I'm gonna tell you, there is no woman I can think of that wouldn't be so thrilled to have a man say, I bought you this candle and we're gonna play with this. And I'm, I wanna feel this on your skin and we can smell this together and create a ritual. I 1 (48m 46s): Mean it's, and it's actually, it's a really good gateway too, because a lot of the guys that I were was talking to that were having maybe lulls in their relationship and they say that their wife or their girlfriend is intimidated by anything more extreme, like a toy or videos or whatever that is. This is very gentle. It's a massage. It's not too, what, I don't even know the word, but it's, it's not gonna cheesy, not too intimidating for it. Yeah. Right. It's just a massage and then it's you giving additional gift to her. Right. Just like giving her a moment. I 0 (49m 20s): Love that, that you brought that up. 'cause it's like a secret. And you can have this in your bedroom and nobody walking in, your mother-in-law can walk in and not think it's weird. 1 (49m 27s): Well, here's the thing, right? Yeah. Yes, I agree. But I feel like that also needs to just be mixed. Like the idea of being scared if someone finds your vibrator, like everyone needs to grow up. It is not a big deal. We're all here because of sex. And to have this idea of like, no, you, well you can have it, but just don't enjoy it. That's what the toy is saying is that you're enjoying it. So that's a problem. No one can know that if you had sex to make this grandchild fine, but you better not have liked doing it. Yeah, 0 (49m 55s): That's a good point. And for people that are still nervous about that, this won't cause 1 (50m 1s): Anyone to raise eyebrows, it won't cause that. But I would challenge that discomfort immediately. 0 (50m 7s): Yeah, no, you're right. Yeah, 1 (50m 9s): I mean, I, I don't, I, you know what I mean? I've been there and I sometimes do as well. We were out at a bar the other night and when, with one of my girlfriends and she's like the loudest person on the planet and the things that she was talking about, I was slinking in my chair. I'm like, well, why? I'm like, why am I doing this? I'm never gonna see this waiter again. But part of me still has a little bit of that. But 0 (50m 30s): Yeah, and it's, I mean, there are different personalities. I don't, it's funny because I'm not against at all against talking about sex and, and I have a, I feel like I've become, I have a great relationship with it, but I don't bring it up very much. It just doesn't come up for me. It's for me, it's, there's some, there's a power in the privacy for me. And I have no problem with people who don't have that. And the power is in sharing it. What I love is, and you talk about this too, I know you're this way, is being curious about how people are different and not forcing everybody to be the same. I don't need everyone to show me that they're using a vibrator and have it out. But I also don't want anyone to feel like they can't, and they have to hide something. 0 (51m 13s): Shame causes inflammation, which causes disease. So if we could get rid of shame, I mean this is really the, the goal. So whatever that is that you're holding onto and that's causing you shame, I would beg you to let that go. I beg you to find a way to not feel shame because that's, it's just not gonna work. It's gonna hurt your body. And there have been studies about that. And I wish I could remember off the top of my head. There was a doctor that did a whole bunch of studies where he literally proved, he said, think of something that is feeling, that gives you shame and the inflammation went up in their body. Mm, 1 (51m 47s): I believe that. 'cause it's like the, that Japanese study that they did on the water and on the rice. Yes. Right. So you have an intention or a word and they would put it on the jar and then it would make the rice mold faster, turn black or it would create, so typically with water patterns, there's a lot of symmetry and it would start creating like real chaos, essentially just a whole bunch of disorganization within the molecule. And then obviously you're almost, what, 70 something percent water, 75% water. So it's gonna affect you as well. And then I think that when you have those like more David Hawkins scale right, of frequencies that if you're on the, the lower tier of that pyramid that you're creating those, I guess the disruption in the patterns within even like your DNA and all of the cells in your body. 1 (52m 35s): And then that's why you get sick as well. And shame's pretty much the lowest you can go. I think apathy is the, is the last one, if I'm remembering correctly. 0 (52m 49s): Yeah, well there's no room for shame. It's, it's, it's such a waste of time and energy and I, I, it's so hard when people are still doing it. I remember being that person and it's been a long time. I can't even re, I don't know what would make me feel ashamed at this stage. I can't even think of something. Try me. I know. I'm not ashamed of that. It's just so good. It's so freeing to get to that point and realize we don't, there's, it's not necessary not to say that it, that there is something though to, to being called out and to finding things in yourself that you wanna change, but you don't, that doesn't have to be attached to shame. It can just be, wow. 0 (53m 31s): Ooh, that sucks. I shouldn't do that anymore. Oh, actually learning from that, that's not okay. And growing and, but not making yourself wrong for growing and needing to grow. 1 (53m 41s): Yeah. I was working with this nervous system regulator. Her name's Irene Lyon. She has a really good course, but she talks about healthy shame versus unhealthy shame. So unhealthy shame would be, you know, like all of the nonsense you see on social media where people are trying to like make you feel shitty for no reason. And healthy shame would be your kid reaches for a hot pan and you yell at them because then you need to very quickly correct the behavior so they immediately feel unsafe. Whatever. That's good. 'cause they were right. Yeah. So that's a healthy version. And I think that there's probably a lot of instances where you need healthy shape and probably some people need it now. I think we've maybe gone a little bit too far in the other direction, but it's just understanding of what you wanna keep and not keep. 1 (54m 27s): 'cause for me specifically, given my previous career, a lot of people get mad that I don't, or that I'm not constantly apologizing. And one, so one person was like, don't you have any shame for anything that you've done? I was like, none. That's mine. None that's mine. It might be yours and everyone else here that has an issue, but I've already worked through my why and then come to peace with everything that I've done. And I'm okay with that. 0 (54m 49s): That's beautiful. Yeah. It's, and I don't know if I would call it shame even I'm thinking there's a, a term, it's, it's mortification. I think that mortification, you get mortified. It can cause it can be a beautiful opening to growth and to getting better in something and that that's necessary for growth. I'm mortified that I did that. I'm more, and I had, I talked to someone recently who, her name is Jayla, the self-esteem queen, and she worked for years to get that trademark. So I have to say it the whole thing. And I love her so much. And she's been rescuing girls from sex trafficking for decades. She is considered the Harriet Tubman of sex trafficking. She is a superhero. 0 (55m 30s): No joke. And I asked her how she, what is her advice for parenting? And this made me think of it, but she said, apologize often. And that is so cool because it takes the shame out of it. She gets mortified. She's sorry, she does make mistakes with her own kids. And then, but she knows she can apologize. It's not that we're not, we're never gonna be get it right. We're never gonna be perfect. Are we going to be so, but shame, what the shame does is, and I've been around people that do this, where they're in this shame spiral. Now all of a sudden I have to caretake you. You're not responsible anymore for the thing that you did because I'm so worried that, and this is also my personality, but so if the person that's having shame is saying, I'm so bad. 0 (56m 15s): I'm the worst, I'm the now, I'm going, no, it's okay. You're not, you know, and I'm caretaking. What are they learning from that? What am I learning from that? I don't think it's positive, but the mortification of staring in the face, something you did that you're not okay with. And instead of going into that shame and needing to be caretake, you know, someone to care, take you over that. It's okay, I'm sorry. I own what I did. I'm sorry. And then not the words, I'm sorry, but the actions improving. That's really what has to happen next. So there's no room for shame. 1 (56m 52s): So what else are you doing right now besides trying to help me with this, this candle launch? 0 (56m 57s): Oh my gosh, I am, it's so interesting. My husband and I are starting to, he is, he feels this, this was also another term that can be cringey. He, he felt called like, I don't know how else to put it. He feels so inspired to have a regenerative farm and to have soil be healthy and to really to get rid of all of the mono crops and all the crap that's sprayed on things and to give people clean, healthy food. And so he's very introverted. He knows what he's doing in that world. And he's a super researcher. As I told you, I'm not, what I'm good at is I can imagine, I'm highly creative. 0 (57m 38s): I get a million ideas a day. Nothing will stop me from trying them. I'll always course correct if it doesn't work. You're very, 1 (57m 44s): You are a quick starter. Makes 0 (57m 46s): I'm a quick start nine if anyone knows about the Colby Index. Yeah, yeah. So I am, we are joining forces and I'm so excited. We decided 2025, we have our own company. We're forming and it's, I'm gonna say it out loud for the first time, Gaiden Farms. And the significance of Gaiden is that in Hebrew, that means the Garden of Eden. But Aiden is spelled like my great-grandfather's name. He was Aiden Max Johnston. And he had actually cotton plantation in Texas very long time ago. There's a whole other story there. But this feeling of, we can, so what we wanna do is work on what will that look like. Right now we don't have enough with our own growing and our own farm to do enough products to make it make sense. 0 (58m 26s): But we wanna do a subscription where we have, I'm gonna be focused on other farms that are doing great things, honey. We're gonna make our own colloidal silver, which we already make for ourselves, but we're gonna make it for Ghanaian Farms. Colloidal silver is just an amazing, do you know about colloidal silver? 1 (58m 41s): You've told me. Can you remind me? Know that it, 0 (58m 43s): I need to give you some, I forgot. I have to give you some. Yeah. Colloidal silver is just literally silver. It's made from silver and an electrical process where you take the silver essence of silver like sterling silver. And what it does when it's entered into the body, and you're gonna find as we, we started this conversation with some doctor stuff. So you're gonna find, if you go out and google colloidal silver, oh, I heard it's bad. If you take it, it's bad. You're gonna turn blue. I take it all the time. I'm not blue at all. I mean, I'm wearing a blue shirt. Yeah, okay. So it raises your immune system. It also kills bacteria. It also helps to kill viruses. It is just a miracle to me. 0 (59m 23s): It has no taste. You can just use a little bit. It is safe for so many things, but I'm not a doctor, so don't listen to me. But people that no know and it's fun to experiment with. Like even if you get a cut and you put colloidal silver on it, it will heal so much faster. A toothache will heal so much faster. There's so many things it does to help. Again, my favorite thing, it triggers your own immune response to be super healthy. And I'm not the best one to even explain it, but I've used it my whole life. So I love it. I know that with the second I get a tickle in my throat, I feel like I'm getting sick. I grab the colloidal silver, I do a dropper full. I don't get sick. So I've loved it. 0 (1h 0m 4s): So we're gonna do that. And of course I'm gonna figure out a candle that smells like the Garden of Eden. I'm working on that right now. And I'm just, and and anyone that feels, you know, I feel like I love cre. I just love because of the creativity. If somebody comes to me and says there's an idea that they have for a candle and a scent, I'm open to that. If it's the right person, if it feels right, if it, you know, I'm not actively searching for that. But for like with you, it was the perfect timing and it made so much sense. And I loved it. I've been loving this project for, since we first ever spoke about it. And I'm so happy with the results. So anyone that hasn't tried yet, these are available right now on your website? They are, yeah. 0 (1h 0m 44s): And they are also limited. So we did not do a big pour because we weren't sure. Right. And you might wanna do something else. You might wanna try different scents. So I'm just letting you all know you don't wanna sleep on this because this is, I'm, it's all I have right now in my own house and with everything that I have and all the scents that I love. And you have 3 cents. You don't just have this, you have this one, which is Ephemera, which I was describing, but Sovereignty, which that word is so important. A candle that reminds you of that energy of Sovereignty. It's so beautiful. And you also have divinity, which is gorgeous. I mean these are just, these are huge concepts. 0 (1h 1m 24s): I don't know, I'm in love with all of them. So 1 (1h 1m 26s): The sovereignty's a good one for the dudes. Yeah. It's more masculine and clean smelling. And I feel like the other two I know, I know you don't think that, I don't, I guess maybe Ephemera is not feminine leaning, but it's, it's teeters there. 0 (1h 1m 41s): Well there's bergamot. So if you know that tea, like Earl Gray tea. So there's the essence of that. And there's also, there's a really rich vanilla, now vanilla can be awful. I'm gonna tell you right now, it's one of my, I mean, it's like a love hate and so many vanillas are horrible. This one is really, really high quality. And it just adds to the, to that tea. And then there's a beautiful wood and leather in there too. So that's why I say it's not, I don't say it's total, it's not a floral, no. You know what I mean? Like, it's not like a girly, but it just, it has, it has legs. I dunno how else to describe this. I'm gonna start sounding like I'm talking about wine, but it's very special. 1 (1h 2m 23s): Well, thank you so much for helping me with the project. 0 (1h 2m 26s): Oh, it just came through. I mean, it came, I feel like it created itself. 1 (1h 2m 30s): I honestly wouldn't have pulled the trigger either if you weren't there. And I've told you that a thousand times. Just because you are a quickstar. I do not like, I don't know what it is. It's, I don't know. We've talked about it in like our weird half mentoring calls. You know what I mean? I'm like, ante. I just need a woman to talk to about this thing. And yeah. And you've always been really helpful with all that. So I appreciate it. 0 (1h 2m 55s): Well, I've told you this. I love you. I just have this, this, it's like easy for me to say that. It's not, I don't walk around. I'm not that person always saying, I love you. I love you. Or maybe I am. I do have 10 loves. Maybe that's wrong. My friends are gonna be like, you always say that. It's my language. But no, you're easy to love, you're easy to love and easy to work with. And I was very inspired doing this with you. And I want everyone to experience this and be able to see what that's like. To have something in your life that smells so comforting and so inspiring. And any one of the three that you did will do that for people. And, and I'd love to hear feedback too. So if anyone does yeah, 1 (1h 3m 31s): Feedback, tell me, tag this in your post, please. Yeah. And go to elo.fun. Buy your candle. We have some other products coming soon that are also gonna be spicy and fun. So stay tuned. Signed up for the newsletter and you will get promo codes and you'll be the first to know when we have a drop. Check out the affiliates and the sponsors below and I'll see you next week. Bye everybody.