#153 Wait… Jewish Women Wear Wigs? We Have Questions! | Dave Landau

0 (0s): I just found out that Jewish Women Wear Wigs. 1 (5s): Well, don't they cut their hair too though, underneath? 0 (7s): I believe they do. Yeah. Yes. 2 (8s): We're gonna have to round up some of these Jews. Okay. Oh, and then just ask them like, Hey, what's 3 (13s): Up with the fucking Yeah. They maybe get like 6 million of them together. Wow. 2 (17s): You know, sorry, I don't wanna count. 0 (21s): I dunno if you saw this, but a fine, ambitious young lady in the UK is looking to beat the world record for most poal partners in a day. 2 (30s): Oh. She should just go to Birmingham and hang out with the Muslims. 1 (33s): Oh my God. 3 (34s): Nailed 2 (34s): It. You 3 (35s): Know, many people have already beaten that record 0 (40s): Gets 1 (40s): Gone. There's this fiber in the brain, it's the corpus cossum. And women have more connections there. So they think that they're just able to kind of pick up on things fast 0 (48s): Every single time. A girl has accused me of cheap. She was fucking right. She nailed it 100% of the time. I was able to talk my way out of it a lot of times, but they, they were spot on. I'm Gerard Michaels. You guys already know that is the beautiful Candice Horbacz. Is it back? Can we, we 1 (1m 7s): Just settle on 0 (1m 8s): One. Yeah. Candace Hor face. 2 (1m 12s): That sounds worse. Is that the 0 (1m 13s): One? 3 (1m 14s): No, that's not great. 0 (1m 15s): I can't. Candice Horbacz. 3 (1m 18s): Sure. Okay. Can you say it? That's 1 (1m 20s): Important. I say Hoback 'cause it's been mispronounced for a very long time. It's supposed to be hor botch butch, but I'm not 0 (1m 26s): Saying that. But we're botching it. 3 (1m 29s): Ho botching it. Yeah. Hoback Isch isn't great. 1 (1m 32s): It's not, but I guess it like, fits the bill, you know? 3 (1m 36s): Fair. I didn't say it. 0 (1m 38s): That right there. 1 (1m 39s): Just beating the internet to it is all, you know, 3 (1m 42s): Because there's like a Z at the end, right? 0 (1m 44s): Or so 3 (1m 45s): You're Polish. 1 (1m 47s): I'm not. You're 3 (1m 48s): Hawaiian. Yeah. 1 (1m 49s): Hawaiian. No. Why do YiIVEM 3 (1m 52s): Gotten that? Like you're some Asian 1 (1m 53s): Though. Yeah. Japanese. That's 3 (1m 54s): What it's, yeah. So kind of. Yeah. Kind of. 2 (1m 56s): Hawaiian. Hawaiian. We, we need, need to talk about 3 (1m 58s): Hawaii, Hawaiian. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I dunno if you remember that, but day there was 11 that happened there. 1 (2m 4s): I'm being held personally responsible. 2 (2m 6s): I still haven't forgotten. 3 (2m 7s): But Hoback is what 0 (2m 8s): German, your Japanese is, is, is being held responsible for, for, 1 (2m 14s): For Pearl Harbor. Oh. 3 (2m 17s): I mean, they were, you know 2 (2m 17s): What, what do you do on December 7th? 0 (2m 21s): Try to. I do what I try to do every day, Dan. And that's try to take over the world. No. Fuck that is Dan Anthony. Anthony. That's Dan Holloway. Everybody knows Dan Holloway, of course. From the Drinking Bros. Citizen podcast. Hard a f black rifle. Mm. Professionally violent, recreationally. Good looking. And of course we have none other than the man himself. The, the writer, creator, director, actor, star of normal world on the blaze. Dave Landau. 3 (2m 51s): Hi. 0 (2m 52s): Where now? Where did the hoy come from? Where? Where's a hoy? 3 (2m 56s): When I was uncrowded the first time I was on the show, I said, a hoy and it made him mad. So I turned it into my catchphrase. 2 (3m 3s): Yeah, that sounds 3 (3m 4s): About right. Yes. Every time I just go a hoy and then it caught on. 2 (3m 9s): Well, a lot of people don't know that you're actually Martin Land's great-grandfather. That's 3 (3m 13s): Correct. Yeah. Yes. He's a good boy. Boy, 2 (3m 14s): You look, you look great for your, 3 (3m 17s): Well, I do drink the blood of children. Yeah. I also have a, a horrible addiction. Like when you played Bella Lago and a wood. Oh yeah. I'm just constantly pumping morphine into my stomach. 2 (3m 29s): Well, you all you gotta watch out for is that Elvis moment where you can't pass the poop. Right. That's the thing. As long as you can keep shitting, you can take as many opens as 3 (3m 36s): You want. You can have a liver that's apparently just all made of powder to the point that it's actually changed. It's an organ. 2 (3m 42s): Like the shape is different. 0 (3m 44s): It's like a dried out stretch. Armstrong. Oh yeah. 3 (3m 46s): That's 2 (3m 46s): Completely calcified. 3 (3m 48s): Dude, his liver was just pills. Oh my God. They were like, I don't understand how he died like this way. Like he had a liver that was just nothing but pills. That's 2 (3m 56s): A life right there. Yeah. If they're questioning some weird way you died, like he ha how could he have possibly not died of the other thing then? You know, you've lived it the right way, I think. 3 (4m 5s): Oh yeah. Well, plus he weighed like 900 pounds. Like they brought him down that last like time. He went on stage at the Hilton singing 2 (4m 12s): Fools Russian, just sweating his as dude's like 65 degrees in that room. And he's just pouring 3 (4m 18s): Sweat. And you can tell he is just because of the kernel. He's never been given time to exercise. He's gotta feed a guy's gambling addiction. I mean, it's sad. 'cause he was really, it was such a sad movie. Oh, did you see it? Yeah, I saw the movie. Yeah. I, I liked the movie too. 'cause they didn't paint him as a thief of rock and roll. 'cause he wasn't, they showed him that he like, grew up like that dirt poor around all those people. And like, that was part of his culture. The king? No, Elvis. Yeah. I think it was just called Elvis. Oh, okay. Wasn't it? No, they called him 1 (4m 50s): The king. 3 (4m 51s): Oh no. 2 (4m 51s): He was talking about 3 (4m 52s): The movie called The King. I'm talking about the movie. Oh, I 0 (4m 54s): Didn't 3 (4m 54s): See the movie. It was called 1 (4m 55s): Movie. It had, that Butler guy was in it. 2 (4m 59s): Gerard Butler. Can you imagine 3 (5m 1s): El Ler playing Elvis 2 (5m 2s): Quoting 300 is Elvis. 3 (5m 5s): He 0 (5m 6s): Is Memphis. 3 (5m 7s): He plays the last three weeks of Elvis Russell Crow placed the last day. Oh. 2 (5m 13s): He looks like the last day. Now. Jesus, Chris, 0 (5m 15s): He he is on an Elvis arc, isn't 3 (5m 17s): He? Oh yeah. Whole Russell Crowe. Oh dude, glad here. 2 (5m 20s): I mean, how old is Russell Crow? Is he in his sixties? 3 (5m 21s): Sixties? He's gotta be sixties. 2 (5m 22s): How did Elvis make it? His sixties? I think he was in his late forties. Wasn't he wasn? He, 3 (5m 26s): No, he was like 43 Elvis. Oh my God. Yeah. 44 0 (5m 29s): Pictures of him at the end. Are him in his early forties? Yes. Oh my God. 3 (5m 34s): And he got creep. He's a pretty hot fell if I do say so myself. Yeah. Up until, you know, the last five years. Well, there's a scene in the movie. There was no 0 (5m 43s): Pic back then in fairness. 3 (5m 44s): No. Yeah, that's true. He would be fine now. 'cause they would've just been jamming him along with everything else. 2 (5m 51s): He was 42. 3 (5m 52s): 42. Yeah. Was 42. 2 (5m 53s): 42 and a half when 0 (5m 54s): He, when he died. Looking like Jim Jones. He was 42 years old. Yeah, 3 (5m 57s): He was younger than I am. Holy 0 (5m 59s): Shit. Even Las Vegas. Well, Dave tell people now, this is the second time you've been on. We've a lot of our audience knows here. We love you. Now you, you've done some pretty incredible stuff. Like you talked about Louder Earth crowded before that you were on Anthony Kuia show. And that actually meant something. And you did, you did. 3 (6m 18s): He'll Love hearing that 0 (6m 20s): You've done Last Comic Standing Man. What was that like doing last Comic Standing 3 (6m 24s): Great. I I, I won 0 (6m 28s): Like the whole thing. No, I 3 (6m 29s): Didn't win. Oh no. It was, it was, it was pretty, it was pretty awful. It was, it was good. I mean, you got some exposure, but then you, you know, you get the rug pulled out under your national television and you're 0 (6m 41s): Like, so I burnt all this material I could never use again. And what do I get for this? They're 3 (6m 45s): Like, well, no, the secret there is you 0 (6m 46s): Do you like Arby's 3 (6m 47s): Kid? Yeah. You just keep using it. Oh yeah. 0 (6m 49s): That's 3 (6m 49s): Solid. That's what I do. Yeah. 2 (6m 50s): You, 0 (6m 51s): You and me both, man. I 3 (6m 52s): Try to just mix it up old and well. 'cause some people want to hear older jokes and then some people want to hear new jokes and you can't please everybody. So I'm like, here's a bit of both. 0 (7m 0s): Well, I think you're one of the top 10 working comics today, man. You're unbelievable watching you work on audience and force a room that is like, should I, should I laugh at this? Is this okay? And then just, they can't stop themselves from laughing. It's so incredible watching you. You beat their will. Thank 3 (7m 20s): You. 0 (7m 20s): You just, you destroy whatever instinct towards like, PC or, or like resistance that that society has put on them. And they, and they just, they give way to the pure, the pure humor of it. 3 (7m 32s): Yeah. Like last, last night. Just, I don't know why it got very dark. You were there the night before though. I was just very dark all weekend. That's where my head was. But I was talking about how the day I figured out I was an ass man was when JFK was assassinated. Oh yeah. And then you could see his wife's ass. Yeah. He was like trying to like pick up the brains and stuff. That 2 (7m 52s): Happened for a lot of people. I think JackieO was, 3 (7m 53s): Yeah. I'm not alone. Right. 2 (7m 55s): No, JackieO was an institution in many ways. Yeah. The first nice white butt that a lot of dudes saw probably 3 (8m 1s): Was really bad, bad day. 2 (8m 2s): Because back then white women didn't do that. They 3 (8m 4s): Didn't have butts. 0 (8m 5s): Yeah. No. I mean, just look good looking pussy above blah blah. 3 (8m 9s): And I'm like watching a Zapruder film and I'm like, well, she's a fine looking lady. Look at 0 (8m 12s): That thing. Clap back into the left. Seriously. Back into the left. 2 (8m 16s): And then it's like, you think, you think about it, you're like, wow, that was a horrible moment for our country, but was it worth it? Yeah. Right. 3 (8m 21s): I think kind of, you know, back on the mark, I feel, I feel bad for him. Yeah. 0 (8m 25s): So he, he wrote a, a hilarious joke about a Aubrey Plaza on Normal World the other day. And my honest reaction to hearing that Aubrey Plaza is now a widow was like, there's a job opening. 2 (8m 38s): Mm. I mean, that's true. 0 (8m 41s): I mean, she almost probably definitely did it right? I mean, 2 (8m 44s): I mean, you know, I don't know. It's hard to to tell. 0 (8m 46s): Well, he well he did it. Things 2 (8m 48s): Are a character. Yeah. 3 (8m 49s): He killed. Yeah. I have no 2 (8m 50s): Idea what we're talking about. Aubrey Plaza, you know who she is? She played Parks and Rec. Yeah. April and Parks and Rec never saw really deadpan kind of angry girl. She had 0 (9m 2s): A stroke a few years. She was, she probably had the most aggressive of the, of those iPhone link leaks. The fing when it happened. Yeah. Yeah. I mean she was, she was playing heavy metal in the, in the, is that true? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 3 (9m 14s): Yeah. Playing. 1 (9m 15s): So what 0 (9m 15s): Happened to her killed himself like a Ramone. 1 (9m 18s): Oh, I know who you're talking about. 3 (9m 19s): Holiday day, like two weeks ago. 2 (9m 21s): She was also in 0 (9m 23s): Yeah. She was apparently leaving, I think for 2 (9m 25s): Scott versus Universe. 3 (9m 26s): Is that true? I think so. Sorry. I heard two things. What? Yeah. Well, 1 (9m 29s): I didn't hear either thing. 0 (9m 30s): Yeah. She, she, the rumor as it were is that she had left him for Gerard Carmichael and they were all buddy buddy at a Knicks game. And then the next day the guy 3 (9m 44s): Was like, oh man, checking out. I don't teach her. 2 (9m 47s): Yeah. 0 (9m 48s): Yeah. 3 (9m 49s): She has to live with that the rest of her 0 (9m 51s): Life. Yeah. Well, you know, his last good deed was to avoid an awkward conversation with her. 3 (9m 55s): That's true. 0 (9m 56s): So he's like, I don't know, I need to have that. 3 (9m 58s): He's like, I don't feel like breaking up. Yes. Hey, I'm just gonna quit. 0 (10m 3s): I'm out. Check please. So 2 (10m 6s): Wrong. But you know, you don't want to do all that paperwork. Yeah, 3 (10m 10s): That's true. Yeah. I get it. Now you're getting divorced. Let's be honest. She's the breadwinner. That's even another level of humiliating. 0 (10m 17s): Well, iHeart Huckabees, so, 3 (10m 19s): Oh, so she's the Breadwinner. I 2 (10m 22s): Dunno what that is. 3 (10m 23s): Oh, 2 (10m 25s): What is, what is 3 (10m 27s): It's a David, God, I'm trying to think of his last name. It's a movie with a guy who has to put stupid wigs in everything that he makes. And I'm trying to think of his last name. Yeah. I hate every one of his movies is ruined by wigs. Like, even if it's a good movie, you're like, why do you have these wigs on every character? Like, they should be wearing barrister weight. Yeah. Like it's the worst 0 (10m 49s): Dude. Yeah. He has a motif. Like I think what he's going for is like for Woody Allen to watch his movies and be like, this is just too Jewish. So yeah. This is just, you know, like he wants Woody Allen to be like 2 (11m 1s): David O. Russell. David O. Russell. 3 (11m 2s): That's it. 2 (11m 3s): Which is already annoying. Yes. Hearing that out loud. 3 (11m 6s): Yeah. 2 (11m 8s): I don't like 3 (11m 8s): It. And if you just look at any of his movies, the Ry is unbelievable. 2 (11m 13s): Do you think that's a function of the people he chooses to work with? 3 (11m 16s): What's 2 (11m 17s): That? Does he just like really fetishize bald people and he has to put wigs on him? Yeah. Like, 3 (11m 21s): Because I know that one had like Jeremy Renner maybe and Dustin Hoffman, and it's just like, we need to make sure we have like pompadours on every single actor in my movies. It's terrible. 0 (11m 31s): Yeah. Speaking of, of Jewish weights. I hate 'em. I just found out that Jewish Women Wear Wigs Yeah. That are supposed to look like they're regular hair. 1 (11m 40s): The Orthodox, right? Yeah. They're really 0 (11m 44s): Big thing in Miami. I didn't know like this. 2 (11m 45s): What's the purpose of that? 0 (11m 47s): It's something religious. It's almost similar to, to, I, I suppose, you know, the, the more extreme, you know, Shiite Muslim where you know no man, but your, your husband should be allowed to see your hair. But 1 (11m 60s): Don't they cut their hair too though, underneath? 0 (12m 2s): I believe they do. Yeah. Yeah. 1 (12m 3s): So it's super short 3 (12m 4s): Underneath. 2 (12m 4s): So what's the, is it, is this like a Samson thing? 0 (12m 6s): I, I don't, the no one, 2 (12m 8s): I don't, I've never heard this before. 0 (12m 9s): This is, I just found out about this like two weeks ago. 3 (12m 12s): Is it so the men can have the curls, 0 (12m 16s): I suppose they're 2 (12m 17s): Harvesting women's hair. Yeah. 3 (12m 19s): They can have the, the swirly. Yeah. 2 (12m 22s): I think here's what we should do. 3 (12m 23s): The pigtails. Here's 2 (12m 24s): What we should do to get answers. And 0 (12m 26s): God said to David perm thine sideburns. 2 (12m 30s): I think they just come out natural like that, bud. 3 (12m 32s): Yeah. Do they really, how ironic is pigtails on a Jew? 2 (12m 35s): Yeah. Well, here's the only way we're gonna know the answer to this for sure, is we're gonna have to round up. 3 (12m 40s): I 2 (12m 40s): Can say 3 (12m 40s): These 2 (12m 40s): Jews, we're gonna have to round up some of these. I'm not, 3 (12m 42s): What 0 (12m 43s): Was that now? 3 (12m 44s): Sorry, 2 (12m 45s): What did I say? We're gonna have to round up some of these Jews. Okay. Oh. And then just ask them like, Hey, what's up with the fucking Yeah. 3 (12m 56s): Hey, maybe get like 6 million of 'em together. 2 (12m 58s): Well, you know, sorry, I don't wanna count. 3 (13m 1s): I was doing a bit last night where I don't think I, I don't know if I can keep it. It was about if you go back to kill baby Hitler, and then it would suck if like, you started fading away and you're like, oh no, I was related. And then, but it would be worse as if then you came back and you're like, now there's just too many. Like everybody's complaining. Yeah. Like, yeah. You 2 (13m 19s): Can't, that would be a completely Chinese restaurant. That'd be a completely different back to the future. It's like back to the future Jewish 3 (13m 26s): Edition. Yeah. You're like, should I go back and revive baby Hitler? My God. I feel like there were tippers before. 2 (13m 32s): You're fighting yourself in the past trying to save baby Hitler. 0 (13m 36s): It's an infinite loop of 2 (13m 37s): Yeah. You have to stop yourself. No, 0 (13m 38s): No. Turns down we were right. Kill him. Kill him. We were right the first time. Kill him. No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop, 3 (13m 42s): Stop. 2 (13m 42s): We had an idea. Don't kill him. 3 (13m 43s): Don't kill him. 2 (13m 44s): We had an idea. Some, it's, it's somewhat similar to this. So it's called Trans Frank. 3 (13m 49s): Okay. That won't offend anyone. 2 (13m 51s): No. Fuck. 'cause you know, why would it, it's the 0 (13m 53s): Obviously 2 (13m 54s): Why would it 0 (13m 55s): Also written by the uncle 2 (13m 56s): Or No, no, no, no. So it's Anne Frank and she realizes that the only way to defeat the Nazis is to become a man. Right? Yeah. So then we have some just jacked dude running around in a wig killing Nazis. Is it 0 (14m 11s): Danny Trejo please? 2 (14m 11s): Underst Danny Tre. No. Well, I would've liked that. Yeah. Yeah. But I think going from, you know, white 14-year-old girl to 78-year-old Mexican man might have been too jarring for the artist. Think 0 (14m 22s): So. Yeah. Yeah. They wouldn't have been able to, you know, suspend disbelief. 2 (14m 25s): No, no. 3 (14m 26s): But it just becomes machete. 0 (14m 29s): Put it in deu, majete and Deutsche. So what your, your, your knowledge of music and and movies is, is through the roof. If you had to pick your top three favorite films of all time, what would you, what would you think they would 3 (14m 43s): Be? Oh God. That's a tough one Right now. 0 (14m 45s): Right 3 (14m 45s): Now. 2001, A Space Odyssey, the Godfather one and two. I mean, it's kind of a tie game there. And then I'm gonna say Ghostbusters and I don't care what anybody says. No. 2 (15m 1s): Good for you. Ghostbusters number three. Good for you. I mean, look, you could've gotten tripped up there, but I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah. 3 (15m 7s): I mean, it's a, if you think about, it's a perfect film. It's funny, it's good for the whole family. 2 (15m 13s): Good 3 (15m 13s): Cast. Yeah. Great cast. 2 (15m 14s): Yeah. It's got enough edge to it, but not so much that you can't take your kid. 3 (15m 18s): Yeah. Like it's also why, like I would put Uncle Buck up there, trains, planes, and automobiles. But if they have to go buy just like masterpieces. Yeah. 2 (15m 26s): And then also it has like, you know, it doesn't go over the top with it, but it does recognize the natural order of things. There's three white scientists and then a black janitor, right? 3 (15m 37s): Yes. That's 2 (15m 37s): What you got out 3 (15m 38s): Was supposed, supposed to be played by Eddie Murphy, but couldn't do it. So guy went to Ernie. 2 (15m 42s): Is that really right? That would've been, I don't think that would've made the movie better. No, I think 3 (15m 45s): It would've made it worse because would've eaten up all the scenery. Do you 2 (15m 48s): Think it's weird that when they made the female version, the black girl was still a janitor. I'm just kidding. I would never watch that movie. 3 (15m 55s): I have no idea what happened. No, no. She worked at, she had a very noble job. She worked in a subway at taking to, 0 (16m 2s): Is 3 (16m 2s): That real? Yes. The other three were 0 (16m 4s): Scientists. This is what they do though. This is what the, 3 (16m 5s): This is, that was the worst movie ever made ever. 0 (16m 8s): The, the anti-racist woke. People in Hollywood are the most unbelievably subliminally racist people on earth. The boys. That's 2 (16m 17s): Why they get so mad at when we joke around. Like, we all have, we actually have friends that are different races. Yeah. These white liberal women that live in cities that have never met a, a black but oh, 3 (16m 27s): A black and it's ing. 0 (16m 28s): You say the boys, they're sensitive. 2 (16m 30s): Like no, they're not. Whatcha talking 0 (16m 31s): About? Yeah. The writer of, of this last season of the Boys, they, they opened it up to, to pretty much an all female writing crew. And what they did is they, you know, the, the new superhero is, is a hyper empowered black woman. That's all they ever are anymore. And her superpower, she's smart. She knows things. 3 (16m 51s): Oh, it's not sad. She could beat 0 (16m 52s): You. She could beat you in jeopardy. Oh. And then manipulate you. Like, this 2 (16m 55s): Is, this is Wakanda 2.0. This 0 (16m 56s): Is what I'm saying. Like, so like, you know, when you, when when you, it's not nonsense, which you're, when you're doing, so you can think of anything, you can make, you know, the evil white guy who was, you know, the embodiment of Trump homeland shoots lasers out of his eyes, bullets bounce off his chest. You know, the black hero that they come up with slightly above average iq. Like, 3 (17m 18s): What do 0 (17m 19s): We, are you guys fucking nuts? That's lazy. 3 (17m 21s): How 0 (17m 21s): Is this not racist? That one knows things. No, that one can beat you in an argument. 3 (17m 26s): This one, this one can read. 0 (17m 28s): Oh, it's nuts. Their other black one really fast first season. So they've got two black heroes. One is super fast, the other knows stuff. It's nuts. It's the most racist shit on earth. 3 (17m 39s): How do you feel about women reading and writing in Hollywood? 2 (17m 43s): What about necessary risk ticking too, because the three Rs are important. 0 (17m 46s): Oh my gosh. It's the same thing with drag. Yes. They're making us all look bad. Well, the trans and the drags, right. Like that's the other thing. It's, you know, 1 (17m 52s): A caricature of what it is to be a woman. 0 (17m 55s): Precisely. Yeah. I mean, so you're gonna get in this all made up and like, you're a, you're a 1950s pin up girl. Like 1 (18m 1s): That's, that's what Neil deGrasse Tyson was saying when he was trying to argue for gender fluidity. He's like, well one day if I'm feeling like a woman, you know, you could put makeup on. And then if you feel more masculine, you just take the makeup off and you're like, oh, that's what it means to be a woman. I'm so glad, 0 (18m 14s): Dude. That was crazy. Yeah. 3 (18m 16s): Yeah. That's weird. And that's 2 (18m 17s): How you end up, down on, that's how you end up with underwear. Commercials with 15 mentally ill people that have dicks with blood spots on the front of their underwear. Oh, 1 (18m 26s): I that 2 (18m 27s): Was gross. What In the absolute fuck. Yeah. Are you talking about? Oh yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, all women 0 (18m 32s): Outside of your, your skin turned 2 (18m 35s): Real. All women have periods. All women have 1 (18m 37s): Periods. Didn't 3 (18m 38s): Have didn't, no, it was all people. It 1 (18m 40s): Was dudes. It was dudes bleeding. Like I say dudes but masculine presenting. 3 (18m 46s): But if, if a man is bleeding out out of his ur 1 (18m 48s): But they're biologically a 2 (18m 49s): Woman, 3 (18m 49s): God damnit it's important to see a doctor. 2 (18m 52s): Yeah. 3 (18m 53s): Like it's not, you shouldn't see blood in your, in your underwear and be like, I'm a lady, 0 (18m 58s): This 3 (18m 58s): Is fine. It's it's, you have cancer. 2 (19m 0s): She's right though. No, it was, it was male to female. Or, or was, I'm sorry, female to male. Which is also not, I mean this, these, so the wound nonsense. No, it's just 3 (19m 10s): Come for a photo shoot. 2 (19m 11s): Mentally. They should, I could redo it now. Mentally ill women also have periods. I know that I've dated many of them. None of them wanted to be dudes. Almost exclusive. 3 (19m 20s): Yeah. I hear many women have them. 2 (19m 22s): What's 3 (19m 23s): That? I've heard many women have them. What? Periods? 2 (19m 25s): Periods. Oh, we gotta do something about that. 3 (19m 27s): I know. 2 (19m 27s): Round them up to attract their ears next. 1 (19m 30s): That's true. I, that's where the red tent happened because they would, they were attracting predators. So they would take the bleeding women and then that's where the isolation happened and the red tent was made. That's, 0 (19m 41s): That's why 3 (19m 41s): They told them my favorite. 0 (19m 42s): That's what they told them. 2 (19m 43s): That's why this 0 (19m 44s): Is for your own safety going on on the tent. 2 (19m 46s): That's why the birth rate was high. 'cause women were trying to get pregnant so they didn't get thrown to the fucking bears. 3 (19m 51s): Holy shit. My favorite episode ever of television was in the eighties. And it didn't air immediately. They had to air it later and it was married with children. Mm. And they go up to the, a cabin and everybody's period synchronizes. So animals start surrounding the cabin. So, so al has to figure out ways to go and fight them. So he makes like this suit of many hooks out of fish hooks in a raincoat. And it's just, 2 (20m 17s): It's like chain mail, but out of fish hooks 3 (20m 18s): Or what? Yeah. Oh, that's funny. Even. Oh yeah. You just get stuck to the bear and like, they're just saying what's happening. 0 (20m 24s): That dude. And that's when women were freaking awesome too. Like a lot of people don't know, you know, that shows misogynist patriarchy, the whole nine. I mean it's, it's just a water down all in the family. Right. But it, the, the one that directed a lot of it, Amanda 3 (20m 37s): Burrs wrote a lot of it. Amanda Burrs. Yeah. 0 (20m 39s): Yeah. So, I mean, 3 (20m 40s): Who's a lesbian. 0 (20m 42s): Yeah, yeah. And, and wrote herself as, you know, the annoying Karen neighbor next door. Yeah. And she is, she's one of, one of the brilliant minds behind that, you know, 3 (20m 52s): And constant jokes about how she looked. Like there's one where Ted McGinley is like looking in a Santa line and he's like, excuse me little boy. Oh sorry. He is like, excuse me, Marcy. Marcy, Marcy. Then he finally gets to her and he's like, excuse me, little boy, 2 (21m 5s): Just, 3 (21m 5s): It's his wife. 2 (21m 7s): If you go to like a comedy show and a comic walks on stage that you didn't know previously, you had no concept of who this dude is. And he's super tall, super short, super white, super black, gay, big, muscular dude, fat, whatever. And he doesn't talk about that in his act. I'm like, I don't know if you can't address what's going on on stage right now, I feel like this isn't gonna be funny. Like, if you don't have a se enough self-awareness to roast yourself along with everybody. 'cause it kind of, you know, one of the points of self deprecation and comedy is to give everybody else permission to laugh at all the other fucked up shit. You say like, Hey, I'm not immune to this. I'm an asshole too. Let's fuck it up. You know what I mean? 2 (21m 47s): If you don't touch on that a little bit, I get very suspicious of that comedian. 3 (21m 51s): The whole thing should be vulnerability. I mean that's, that's why I even tell stories in my act about everything. I've messed up. I talk about me before I talk about somebody else. You have to, I mean, you have to take shots at yourself otherwise. Yeah. I don't think there's a lot of, there's, there's not a lot of, I don't know. It, it does lack integrity, I think. And one thing that sucked about that whole movement with Hannah Gatsby was she said, you know, she's like, well, self-deprecation is a, is a white male privilege. And it's like, are what? Yeah. So it just like, 0 (22m 20s): Sort of punchlines apparently. 2 (22m 21s): I mean, Richard Pryor spent a lot of time making fun of himself for being a crack head. 3 (22m 25s): Pryor was the one of the Christ mean people to be truly vulnerable on stage. Like he kind of reinvented it. Yeah. When it went from one-liners to a guy who, I think we talked about this last time, like a guy who was actually talking about his storytelling addictions and you know, that he was abusive and he took like, he took accountability in front of everybody. Yeah. And just told his story 0 (22m 44s): That said though there is a thin line where you want to, you want to be self-deprecating and you wanna bring the audience in, but you also don't wanna be pathetic. And you know, you don't want, you don't want pity. Yeah. 2 (22m 54s): You're not trying to get pity. Yeah. Yeah. 0 (22m 55s): And there's a lot of people that use it as a crutch and it's like always a callback and you know it. So there is that kind of line. Right. And especially if you're a crowd work guy and I love crowd work. And you're great at crowd work. Thank you. It's gotta be him. So are you, me, him, me. Because then if I come to you and I mess with you and you don't laugh, well now you're snitching on yourself. Yeah. 'cause he's laughing, she's laughing, I'm laughing. Yeah. You know, like we're all in this thing together. Like, you know, and all, and sometimes you read the room wrong. There was two people came to, you know, he, he let me drop into his show the other night and there was two people with masks on. And I was like, oh, here we fucking go. Here we go. You know? And, and they ended up being awesome. They were incredible. 0 (23m 36s): Now I don't understand. She took the mask off. Hang, hang it from her ear to drink and eat all show and then put the mask back on. Yeah, sure. That I don't, you 2 (23m 43s): Know what, tell go for it. You know it, it's like, it's like saying a prayer before you raw dog a prostitute. Yeah. That's what it is. Like, Hey God, please protect me from this dirty whore 3 (23m 52s): Please. 2 (23m 55s): And you go, 3 (23m 55s): Oh shit. That's funny man. Just remember which beads of the rosary. 2 (24m 0s): Well, you 0 (24m 1s): Speaking of raw dog in a prostitute smell usually, I don't know if you saw this, but somebody a, a, a fine ambitious young lady in the UK is looking to beat the world record for most coital partners in a day. 2 (24m 16s): Oh. She should just go to Birmingham and hang out with the Muslims. 3 (24m 19s): Oh my God. Nailed it. You know, she 2 (24m 22s): Couldn't topical. 3 (24m 23s): Accurate. Yeah. Just take a bus. Fuck you. 2 (24m 25s): Just 3 (24m 25s): Take a bus in India. Yeah. Anywhere. 2 (24m 28s): Go to the nicest hotel in India. 3 (24m 29s): Just wait. 0 (24m 30s): Alright. Lemme try it again. 2 (24m 32s): You don't even have the break 0 (24m 33s): The record for 3 (24m 34s): Most sensual partner say the single 2 (24m 37s): Day. Come on. Semantics. Yeah, 3 (24m 39s): That's true. You know how many people have already beaten that record? 0 (24m 45s): Genis Kahan. It's like 1,001 3 (24m 47s): A joke now. I think everybody's related to Genis. Kahan a little. He 2 (24m 51s): Has 45 million living descendants. 3 (24m 53s): I'm 1 (24m 54s): A little bit in my 23 and me 3 (24m 55s): Of Genis Kahan. You could tell it's Genis. 1 (24m 57s): He says it suggests that it's highly probable. 0 (24m 60s): Oh, that's chingu. 3 (25m 0s): But how did he have time to conquer 0 (25m 3s): Chingu? I think Yes, 3 (25m 4s): We saw that. It was just all it was. He was like, will Chamberlain. Oh yeah. 2 (25m 8s): And who has the time to conquer stuff and fuck 24 hours of 0 (25m 11s): Death? I didn't know he was doing much conquering. 2 (25m 13s): Nah, he had armies for that. He 3 (25m 14s): Was, 0 (25m 14s): He was administrating. Yeah. 2 (25m 15s): Well look, hey, good administrating. Yeah. 0 (25m 18s): Coldest line of all time shows up to the, to the, the walls of Constantinople. And they were like, go away. And he is like, don't blame me. I'm the wrath of God. Blame whatever you did that made God sick me upon you. 3 (25m 32s): Oh my God. Yeah. That's what, now that's a panty dropper and explains why everybody's related to him. Yeah. 0 (25m 40s): I was like, what the fuck? Yeah. It's like my buddy Chase Sherman is a, he is a fighter. He, he had one of the coldest lines of all time, man. He's got like these, he's, he's got this cool little thing. He's got like this giant dude with like a bio, you know, the bayou or whatever accent. And he's got like these NWA glasses. He is like, I wanna leave the type of tape that when somebody watches it, they realize getting in the ring with me is gonna change their life forever. And I was like, that's a, that's a cold ass honky. 3 (26m 6s): Yeah. Like that. Yeah. That is. Yeah. 'cause I'm on to kiss you. I'm Nick your face 0 (26m 13s): Man. So you did kill Tony, dude. 3 (26m 15s): I did. 0 (26m 16s): That was, I thought it was incredible. Thank you. I thought it was, what, what was it like being on, I mean, literally Is there, is there a bigger comedy show in the world right 3 (26m 22s): Now? I don't know. That's 0 (26m 23s): The tops. It's topsy 3 (26m 24s): Turn. That could be the big one. That's 0 (26m 26s): The big one. Yeah. With the Tony Hinchcliffe, 3 (26m 30s): The Yes. 0 (26m 30s): And then the, all of the, the, the homeless that wanna line up and try to become famous. 3 (26m 36s): Yeah. There's a, they were literally many homeless on the stage that brought it up. Oh yeah. Was that normal? Well, yeah. They, they weren't homeless before, but then they moved here to live in a car so they could be on that show. Oh no. And that's, it's hard for me to really make fun of that because I'm like, oh, you're so very broken. Go 2 (26m 56s): For it. I mean, it's not, that's not too different than the way a lot of comedians in the eighties and nineties got their start though, frankly moving to LA and fucking sleeping in their goddamn car and go to the comedy store. 3 (27m 4s): Yeah. I mean that is true. 2 (27m 5s): Yeah. Like that, that used to be a big thing in la Well, yeah, 0 (27m 8s): But also get a job, right? Like 2 (27m 10s): Yeah. There 3 (27m 11s): More 2 (27m 11s): Than one thing. There's plenty of work to do in Austin, like cleaning up the other homeless people's shit off the street. There's a lot of that. It's true. I mean, somebody's gotta do it. Yeah. I'm not doing, it's not fucking, I'd stay out 3 (27m 20s): Selling fentanyls to the homeless. 2 (27m 24s): You know, there's fentanyl test kits. Oh yeah. In a fucking vending machine. And I don't think it costs money. I think you just turn that little dye when it comes out. 3 (27m 32s): They're free. And then you can, I have Narcan in my car or 2 (27m 34s): Narcan. That's what it is. Yeah. 3 (27m 35s): Yeah. Narcan's free. Now why 2 (27m 36s): Do you have it in your car, Dave? 3 (27m 38s): In case I'm around someone who ods. 'cause it's so common. But, 2 (27m 43s): But why would you stop it? 3 (27m 45s): I would wanna help someone. Well, here's what's I in recovery, so I would want to help 2 (27m 49s): Person. Yeah, sure. Have you watched somebody die before? 3 (27m 51s): Yes. 2 (27m 51s): Okay, well then you've got it outta your system. Yeah. I see. 3 (27m 54s): Yeah. Yeah. I've seen you 2 (27m 55s): Wanna watch at least three people person's lights. I just wonder 3 (27m 57s): Where that was going. Five people 2 (27m 60s): You wanna watch their lights go out at least once. When 0 (28m 2s): Was the last time you watched somebody die? Dad, 2 (28m 4s): What? Are you a fucking cop? 3 (28m 6s): No. Next, next question. There's a different, like, I've seen it in, in horrible situations. I feel like you were making eye contact and I mean that as a compliment. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I 2 (28m 20s): That's now you don't shush 'em. 'cause all they're doing is garing anyways. Oh wow. 3 (28m 25s): Yeah. Yeah. 2 (28m 26s): There's no point. They can't, they can't give it. They can control. It'd be one thing, but that's like, what's the point? 3 (28m 31s): Yeah. Like, you sound silly. You sound 2 (28m 34s): Like a fucking, why do you, 4 (28m 36s): Why do you have Narcan pussy? Listen to a gargle of death. Fucking loser. 2 (28m 41s): Well, did you, let's say, I think there should be a tax if you're gonna be a good citizen and Narcan this dude, you gotta take what's on him. Take his shoes at least. Right. 3 (28m 52s): I think that's, I mean, I probably wouldn't want one of the, it would depend on who's ODing. Sure. Yeah. You know, if you get a rapper, see, I'll probably take your shoes. Maybe and necklace and the chains and Yeah. The chain. Yeah. Maybe the car keys. But if it's, if it's just a guy on the street. Well I, and it really depends. If I look at the guy and I'm like, eh, you're better off. It's hard. It's a hard choice to make. Yeah. 2 (29m 12s): Like a coup de gra. Like, I'm just gonna fucking Yeah. Like give your last. Right. Better for you. 3 (29m 17s): Spiderman. 0 (29m 18s): Everybody gets 2 (29m 19s): One. Yeah. 3 (29m 20s): You gotta kind of keep just driving 2 (29m 22s): For the principle of it. Maybe you do need to tax 'em either way. Even if it's just like smoked cigarette butts. Like I, I'm taking what's yours 3 (29m 29s): Son? Yeah. What, what you have you fucked up. 2 (29m 31s): But what if the bible, 3 (29m 32s): If you were 1 (29m 32s): Just taking like an Adderall though, that wasn't Adderall, 2 (29m 35s): Then they, you could, you'll, their shoes will be clean or weed. That's true. Their shoes, you can tell by the shoes, if their shoes are clean, then they showed up to party. If their shoes are fucked or they're not wearing them. They've been partying for a little too long. I think 0 (29m 47s): The problem Candace here is that you're taking anything he says seriously when you shouldn't be. I, 2 (29m 52s): Well, to be honest, if I saw a crash 3 (29m 54s): Head, I can know he's 40% too 80% serious. 2 (30m 1s): I would say if it was just some dip shit because I, you know, I like recreational drugs as well. If it's somebody that got themself into a bad situation, fine. But if it's somebody that's got open wounds on their arm 3 (30m 12s): Yeah. You, 2 (30m 13s): You know, I don't, 3 (30m 14s): You never know that I'm get involved in that. Everybody's got that story, like how they got there. And I get that though. I mean it, it's tough to say. Yeah. Like, I don't know who it's more valuable for, but that's why I think it's also, it's also free for that reason, you know, is so you can save literally anybody. Or they can save themselves by having it on them. Yeah. And like you said, the problem is so much stuff comes over and that Yeah. It's Adderall, it's whatever, but it's all crushed with fentanyl and it's all pill presses. And I mean, smoking it in weed now you can kill a baby in the next room. Is that right? Like 1 (30m 48s): It's, yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh 3 (30m 49s): Yeah, you can, it's like, it's extraordinary. 0 (30m 51s): Congratulations. A fresh new horror for you. Something else 1 (30m 54s): To worry about. 3 (30m 55s): Kids who kids have picked up baggies and died. Yeah. 2 (30m 58s): Is that right? Yes. It's transdermal. Yeah. 3 (31m 0s): Really? 2 (31m 2s): Oh 1 (31m 2s): My God. I'm always yelling at my oldest. 'cause he likes to try to, this is the thing about let's try to save the planet and write all of that green movement. He's like, oh, trash. Let me pick it. I was like, don't fucking touch that. Well, 2 (31m 12s): Here's what we can do. Don't, let's take him to the ocean and we'll strangle turtles. Fuck the planet. This is our planet. It's, and if anybody gets in my way, plastic straws, turtles, fuck 'em. I don't know 0 (31m 23s): Was in your cold brew, but it's, it's fucking pretty serious. 2 (31m 27s): I'm really tired. I'm operating at my core level right now. The 3 (31m 31s): Ocean is filled with monsters and we need to be aware. It's, 2 (31m 34s): We talked about that the other day. I say 1 (31m 35s): That too. I just don't go in it. Yeah. 2 (31m 37s): Yeah. That's one option. The other option is to go in ready to fucking fight. Yeah. Don't get into the ocean unless you're ready to fight. 0 (31m 42s): Have you seen Dave set? It's a, 2 (31m 43s): Yeah. I've seen, 0 (31m 44s): Oh dude. 3 (31m 45s): It's a whole planet though. Filled of, it's a, it's a planet within our planet filled with monsters. 2 (31m 51s): You 0 (31m 51s): Know, it's what's with the aliens, your boy, Sean Ryan and these guys in the ocean. 2 (31m 54s): I'll, I'll get right to that next, here's, here's how you know what he's saying is true. We don't even look. 3 (31m 59s): Nope. 2 (31m 59s): Yeah. People will fucking get in a little piece of plastic with joysticks and try to see the Titanic. Nobody's trying to find out what the monsters are down. 3 (32m 7s): Yeah. 2 (32m 7s): But we're trying to go, go to Mars and everybody else, we sent a golden disc into space with Carl Sagan, the voice on it. Like, hey, we're fucking nice. 0 (32m 15s): Yeah, yeah. Don't up. Interesting you say that because the seven I would go, I would go to Mars 3 (32m 20s): Before I seven billionaires get, 2 (32m 22s): Like, if they developed tech where you could get to the Maria, the bottom of the Mariani trench, I don't know that I would go down there 3 (32m 28s): To where the Titanic is. 2 (32m 29s): No. Like the Mariana Stretch's, the deepest part of the ocean. Oh, 3 (32m 32s): The ocean. 2 (32m 32s): Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't, like if I knew for a hundred percent certainty that was gonna be safe, I don't know if I would go down 3 (32m 38s): There. I don't wanna see it. They find new species like every year where they're like, oh yeah, it's just a giraffe shark and it's been down 2 (32m 45s): There 3 (32m 45s): Forever and it'll eat your face and you're like, I the 2 (32m 48s): Fuck 3 (32m 49s): That one. It's just one more thing. Can I don't wanna 0 (32m 50s): Kill you, by the way, it's telepathic and it knows all your fears. 3 (32m 53s): Exactly. 2 (32m 54s): And you know what extremophiles are, right? You're familiar with this. It's like, it's like creatures that can exist in a very extreme circumstances. Like there, there, there are microbes that are gonna exist in space in the vacuum of space. One of those 0 (33m 6s): Little 2 (33m 7s): Water bears. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So tart grids, tartar grid. Yeah. That's what 3 (33m 11s): It's Yeah, they only water bear I met. Anyway, 2 (33m 14s): There there are these Yeah, these tartar grids. I think they can exist in temperatures up to like 275 degrees or something like that. Like in, in some, some Right at the edge of molten lava really to exist. Yeah. So you can like, imagine what can exist under that kind of pressure at the bottom of the goddamn ocean. It's gotta be armored. There's no other way. It couldn't be, it couldn't be a si it couldn't be like a cephalopod or something. Right. 3 (33m 37s): It's, it could be, it could also be like a mutant body fe or like bottom feeder. 2 (33m 42s): But it would, the pressure would crush it to flat. Right? Like there would have to be something pushing outward. It would have to be made of like a rock. It would have to be a, a live rock. That's where, so the 0 (33m 53s): Aliens aren't down there then, 3 (33m 54s): Or Well, crabs are kind of live rocks. 2 (33m 56s): Yeah. They're just, it could, it could be like tissue like that inside, but it would have to be inside of real armor. Right. Because you can, you can take a crab and press your thumb into its back and crush it. Yeah. Like you, like if you go below what, 2000 feet into the water, your body just crushes immediately. Basically. 0 (34m 14s): That's what those billionaires found out. Yeah. 3 (34m 16s): Oh, they sure did. They're like, don't worry. The the guy with the remote control from a PlayStation got discovered too. Imagine Yeah. Getting on, well first of all, if I had a billion dollars, I'm like, yeah, I'm not getting on a submarine that goes into the water. 2 (34m 30s): No. You could build your own submarine for that. Yeah. Why would you get into a little plastic box? 3 (34m 34s): Crazy. Did a guy who rents a jet skis has, 2 (34m 38s): It was Danny McBride. He's got a fucking full on mullet. Like hell yeah. It'll work. 3 (34m 42s): Yeah. 2 (34m 43s): That you know, how many, do you know how many people have died right after hell yet? It'll work from a guy in a mullet. 3 (34m 49s): I don't know. Yeah. 2 (34m 49s): Fuck. Let's go fuck. Let's do this, 3 (34m 52s): Let's do it. Where were, where did they launch out of 2 (34m 55s): It would, it would've been off of another vessel. You couldn't get that thing out there, right? Yeah, but 0 (34m 58s): They, but they were, 2 (34m 60s): I don't know if it was a big yacht or if it was some kind of explorer or a cargo ship or what Actually no, it wasn't in England. Oh, you mean like where, like where? Oh, it was Australia. 0 (35m 7s): Australia. It might've 3 (35m 8s): Been Australia. Okay. Which 0 (35m 10s): Technically, I guess is England 2 (35m 12s): Sort of Yeah. 0 (35m 12s): Kind of. Maybe 3 (35m 13s): The prisoners. Maybe. Yeah. I, I just, why I, I don't want to even see it though. Like, you can actually just turn on the Discovery channel and there's cameras that have been down there and you're like, cool, you can go to a zoo and see all the sad fish you want. Just go to the Detroit Zoo. I'll show you the saddest polar bear you've ever laid eyes on. They lay there like they're dead. You think they're on the drugs that half the city's on, like the, it is, it, it's enjoyable for me to be like, son, this is a lion. Isn't it great? But you're aware of the fact that the lion just wants you to kill it. The 2 (35m 49s): Lions 0 (35m 49s): Doing 30, the lights. 3 (35m 52s): It's just, it's really like, 0 (35m 54s): What are you in for bud? 3 (35m 55s): Yeah. They have an aquarium. You just go in and you're like, yeah, it's a shark. There's some bright stuff. We don't have to go into a, a igloo cooler that a guy said as a submarine. 0 (36m 5s): The, the concept of a, of these like enclosed zoos is, is pretty nuts if you really think about it. Yeah. It's like, so it was like, I'm gonna take this wild animal that roams thousands of miles and we're just gonna put it in like a little fucking 12 by 12. He'll be fine. Right. 3 (36m 21s): Because we think Yeah, we think that we're, that they're Disney characters and you're like, no, the bear loves me. It's like, no, you know, the bear's drugged up 2 (36m 28s): Well in Russia. They, I was 1 (36m 30s): Just gonna say that 2 (36m 30s): That's the only, that's the only thing that I'm jealous of Russian people about 3 (36m 34s): The bears the relationship with, 2 (36m 35s): With bears is like, you can fucking make friends with a fucking bear you piece of shit. That's true. That's all I've ever wanted in life. Yeah. And I'll never get it. I know. I'll never get it. 0 (36m 42s): Well, once we take over Canada, you can probably, 3 (36m 44s): I 2 (36m 45s): Don't want their bears. 0 (36m 45s): You don't want the Canadian bears. 2 (36m 47s): I want bears that don't speak English dude. And 3 (36m 48s): Best. 2 (36m 50s): Yeah. They, they don't fuck around up there. The 0 (36m 52s): Brown bears are the cool ones. Yeah. 3 (36m 53s): Wow. I don't, 1 (36m 54s): I don't, I don't know if I'd say it's cool. 3 (36m 55s): Yeah. Well black bears Yeah. Aren't bad. Grizzlies are, well, 0 (36m 58s): I mean third pairs, you all bear Grizz G 1 (37m 0s): Comes from black bears kill you and then leave 3 (37m 2s): You. Yeah. But a, a black bear is relatively, they're not that like you, they've been around humans. I mean, I've had families of black bears walk by me. 2 (37m 10s): Yeah. And they're not the bigger variety. They're like four to 600 pounds I 3 (37m 13s): Think. Yeah. Those are like somersaults. My son threw a hamburger in Tennessee off the porch and it wasn't five minutes before a black bear was trying to get up the side of the house that we rented. Get outta here dead serious. Where 2 (37m 26s): The burgers at, motherfucker. Yeah. 3 (37m 27s): And I was like, unfortunately there was some fencing where it stopped, but I was just like, it. We have a gun. Right. Not that it would even matter. You shoot a bear, like you shoot that thing in the heart, it'll run a hundred yards before it dies. Is that right? Really? Yeah. You're still going out, 0 (37m 40s): Which is one of the bears. You're supposed to get really like loud when they come by. And the other one you just lay, you fight 1 (37m 45s): A black bear and then you pretend, pretend to be dead for a brown 2 (37m 47s): Bear. Is that black bear? If you've got metal shit, cling it together in front of you. That's 0 (37m 52s): Black bear. 3 (37m 52s): Yeah. See, I never knew that. So you fight 1 (37m 54s): A black bear, you pretend to be dead with the brown 3 (37m 56s): Bear. Many people have been killed going, 2 (37m 57s): Rah, bear this 0 (37m 60s): Motherfucker bear. 2 (38m 1s): Fuck this guy 0 (38m 2s): Wrong bear motherfucker. This 3 (38m 4s): Isn't working at all. 2 (38m 5s): Fucked up. Ooh, I'm fucked up, dude. 3 (38m 8s): This is when the complete opposite direction. Yeah. That's 2 (38m 11s): Stupid. That's, that's what a white crack, crack head must feel like when the Indian dude is following the black college graduate around the fucking convenience store. The white crack head's like, you got the wrong news 0 (38m 22s): Buddy. 3 (38m 24s): Wrong. If I ever survived a bear attack. And they were like, what did you do? I'd be like, well, I was crying and shitting my pants. And I think at some point it felt bad for me 0 (38m 34s): And it would just be out of the one hole in your face. That's, 3 (38m 37s): That's the one thing like where they, that's crazy when they do interview people that have been attacked and it's just like, I'm just blessed to be here and it's just got like half an eye left and it's like one arm. I'm like, are you sure? 2 (38m 50s): Yeah. I'm not trying to get blessed if that's what it is. No, 3 (38m 53s): That's awful. That's why the end of Grizzly Man I love because it ends exactly how it should by the sounds of him being ripped apart by bears. 2 (39m 1s): That's brutal. And his brutal girlfriend telling him to fight back. Yeah. Like what, what does he know? 0 (39m 6s): And then her running in there to try to help. I'm 2 (39m 8s): Sorry, what martial art exactly. Is he supposed to be exploiting against this animal? 3 (39m 11s): Have you seen that? 0 (39m 12s): Ebola? 3 (39m 13s): Have you ever been scratched by a cat or a dog? That's a bear. Yeah. 0 (39m 18s): See, that's a great point. That's a, yeah, I got scratched by a cat one time, but I threw it against the wall and instinct Julie out. 2 (39m 25s): Well, this could be a solution to the homeless problem as well. Hear me out. Okay. I don't know how you guys 3 (39m 31s): Grew up. Russian bears or what kind? 2 (39m 33s): Maybe. Right. Okay. So in the south, when you grow up, there's something where your dad will take you out to a field somewhere and put a, a watermelon on the ground and shoot it with a shotgun. This is like an, it's not an old wife sale. This is real to show you what a gun can do. Right. And he'll be like, that could be your head. Don't fuck with these guns. Right. That's how you keep That's why kids in the country don't fucking shoot themselves in the face and foot. Yeah. All the time. Maybe we grab a homeless guy, bring a bear out once a year on live tv. You know what I mean? 3 (40m 10s): What if we train them to fight bears? 0 (40m 13s): What the fuck is in that coffee, dude? Well, I, 2 (40m 17s): We gotta get rid of these homeless people. That's, 0 (40m 21s): There's no bears in Austin. No, no. 2 (40m 24s): That's why's 0 (40m 25s): On tv. There was one Squeegy. 3 (40m 26s): Oh, there's, there's bears in Austin. There's 2 (40m 28s): They're on, they're on fifth in El Dorado over there. 3 (40m 31s): They're all over Austin. 0 (40m 34s): Where's at fourth? 2 (40m 35s): There's some gay shit over there 3 (40m 36s): Anyways. Yeah. YiIVEM never YiIVEM. I've been attacked by several bears. 0 (40m 39s): I'm sure you have. 2 (40m 40s): They start with, I 3 (40m 41s): Believe that this last night, oh, I accidentally walked into this place and there was a hole. I'm like, I don't know. Ugh. 0 (40m 50s): Oh, what do, what happens? I should put my penis 3 (40m 52s): In that I dress like I'm on safari. 2 (40m 56s): That's always a fucking red flag. Yeah. Somebody shows up dressed like they're going on safari. Like, what, 3 (41m 1s): What's, 2 (41m 1s): What do you got gw? 3 (41m 2s): What are you doing in Austin? You're like, you know, hunting, taking it all animals. 0 (41m 10s): You think by now I would've seen at 3 (41m 12s): Least beehive covered in honey. 2 (41m 16s): I can picture that. 3 (41m 18s): That's 2 (41m 18s): Very upsetting. Like a box. 0 (41m 20s): And there's like a little shell one more shelf. 2 (41m 26s): You're almost there buddy. 3 (41m 27s): You're just mad. 'cause you're also attracting bees when you're just trying to have gay sex with Harry man. 2 (41m 32s): That's the price you pay, man. Yeah. That's how God set it up. So women, women have to have babies and men have to work the fields and gadus have to get stung by bees. That's 3 (41m 41s): True. That is true. That's 2 (41m 42s): True. It's in 0 (41m 42s): The fucking Bible. Well, that's Corinthians. 2 (41m 44s): Yeah, I think so. Yeah. It's in 3 (41m 46s): There somewhere. I it's, it's also in the book of Matthew. Oh it is. Yeah. It's 2 (41m 50s): Where they're detailing the lineage from King David to Jesus is right there in the middle. A lot of people miss it. 0 (41m 56s): So, you know, I've been a 2 (41m 58s): Lot of baggat and such. 3 (41m 59s): Yeah. There's there's some double talk 0 (42m 1s): With, with everything that happened with the Woken PC in the last, you know, decade or whatever. You know, I've been accused of being like this right wing guy as I'm sure all of us have. And I feel 3 (42m 11s): Is that because you are Well, 0 (42m 12s): Here's the thing. 2 (42m 14s): He starts his manifesto already. Yes. 3 (42m 16s): I feel I type this for everyone, 4 (42m 19s): Like 3 (42m 19s): Off to make nail bombs. I'm moving 2 (42m 23s): To 4 (42m 23s): The woods. Definitely. But I can't be running away from anything, so we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna, you know, it is kind of fucked when you do read Kaczinski. You're 0 (42m 31s): Like, this motherfucker 3 (42m 32s): Spitting. No, he's got a good point. This 4 (42m 34s): Guy's saying some interesting things. 3 (42m 36s): Yeah. He just, 0 (42m 36s): Oh, some of Bin Laden 3 (42m 38s): Just as far as bomb making 0 (42m 39s): Saw Bin Lain wrote that. 2 (42m 40s): Yeah. Well, you know, I, I like your motivation, but your methodology could use a bit of polish. 3 (42m 45s): Exactly. Yeah. Is 2 (42m 46s): What you really gotta work with. 3 (42m 47s): I understand. I understand. You think the internet will take over the world Also, you don't have to blow off a mailman's hand because you don't know how to work a timer. 2 (42m 55s): It seems like a nonsequitor to be honest. Like at least get good at it. Just 3 (42m 59s): Stupid bitch. You know, try it out 2 (43m 0s): A couple times. You're fucking MIT or no, Harvard and Michigan University for your master's and PhD in math. Yeah. That's the best place to go. 0 (43m 7s): You only know that from Goodwill Hunting. 3 (43m 10s): I don't want to talk about that movie. 4 (43m 12s): Were you ready? You hate Goodwill 3 (43m 14s): Hunting? I hate Goodwill Hunting. Why do I hate that movie? I've already been through this too much. Sorry. His name is Will Hunting and the movie is called Goodwill Hunting About him becoming good. 2 (43m 27s): So it's a little on the nose is 3 (43m 28s): What I'm saying. I it's the most forced title in the history of film Goodwill Hunting. And they want you to not recognize it. Like it's subtle. It's not subtle. It's the stupidest title I've ever heard in my life. Then they go to Harvard and beat up smart kids. Okay. And also none of them know he's smart until they're they've known him their whole life. Yeah. But a guy with a ponytail starts quoting Viki and that's when he's gonna let everybody know like, yeah, this is where I'm going to shine right now at a pool table in a bar. Even though I've never let any of you guys know that I have brain cells right now. I'm going to now quote Vic, like, you think you SMUGs, you quote Vicki. 4 (44m 8s): Have you ever seen the, the sequel in, what was 0 (44m 11s): It? Was it Mall Rats? What was it 3 (44m 12s): Called? No, it was J Salt and Bob 2 (44m 14s): J Oh, strike Back. Yeah. Strike Back. 3 (44m 16s): That was funny. Yeah. 4 (44m 18s): I actually did read Vickers. No. 0 (44m 21s): Oh no. Will. 3 (44m 24s): It's like, I like Robin Williams. I'm not saying it's poorly acted, it's just, I I hate it. Okay. 5 (44m 31s): Yeah. 2 (44m 31s): You're allowed to. Have you ever seen Father of the Year? 3 (44m 34s): Probably 2 (44m 35s): Very little known Robin Williams movie. 3 (44m 37s): Oh, I love it. It's by Bobcat Goway. Is it? He's the one who 2 (44m 41s): Directed, it's the one that wrote that. He's one who directed it. 3 (44m 43s): It's really good. It's 2 (44m 44s): Phenomenal. It's like, have you ever seen it? I have not. So Robin Williams is like a fucking high school English teacher or some shit. Yeah. And his kid is just an absolute dipshit. Yeah. He's a, I think he's a sophomore. He's like 10th grade or something like that. He's a fucking retard. Right. Mm. And then kills himself in a way that David Carradine might have. Mm Right. Yeah. And then 0 (45m 3s): Autoerotic Asphyxiation. 2 (45m 5s): Yeah. And then Robin Williams tries to play the whole thing off. Like he was some tortured poet and killed himself as a result of that. Oh wow. And starts writing back. 'cause he was like a failed author. Robin Williams was. So he starts putting his own writing out as the sons and 0 (45m 18s): It's called What Dreams May Come. Yeah, 2 (45m 20s): Yeah, yeah. 3 (45m 21s): No, it's, it's brilliant. It's funny, like it shows how all these students who didn't like him now all of a sudden they were his best friend. Yeah. Really? 2 (45m 27s): They make it about the themselves real friend. Like he didn't write, he's a fucking idiot. That's what I love. He goes, I love the guy, but he's fucking 3 (45m 32s): Retired. He was like, look, your son was a piece of shit. He was my friend, but there's no way he wrote any of this. Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah. So, yeah. It's, it's a brilliant 2 (45m 40s): Movie. It's really good. Yeah. 0 (45m 41s): I think it's hard for me to take Bobcat seriously. Well he did that, 2 (45m 45s): But he makes some 0 (45m 46s): Incredible stuff. 3 (45m 47s): Oh no, he's a great 2 (45m 48s): Director. He did that, but it's 3 (45m 50s): His 2 (45m 50s): Hard Yeah, he did that one. Wow. Like revenge fantasy movie too. 3 (45m 55s): What was it Yeah. Called? That was great. With 2 (45m 57s): The guy that played Duck In. Well, 3 (45m 59s): It's Bill Murray's brother. It's, I don't, I'm blanking on it. Joel Murray. Joel, 2 (46m 5s): Yeah. Yeah. What's the name of that fucking movie? 3 (46m 6s): I'm trying to think of it. It's really good though, when he just goes on the revenge spree to kill, it's kinda 2 (46m 11s): Like a parody version of what, what's, what's the one with Michael Douglas where he just lose 3 (46m 17s): His shit? It kills everybody. It is falling down. Falling down. Yeah. 2 (46m 19s): It's kind of a, a parody of 3 (46m 21s): That. It's a lot like falling down, but he's, he kills reality stars. Yeah. 0 (46m 25s): Falling down. Never made any sense to me as a kid. And now I don't know if any movie makes more sense to me as 3 (46m 29s): A adult. I think that's how it's supposed to work. I also 0 (46m 31s): A lot of, have you, have you seen Falling down? So Falling Down is a, is a guy that, the entire movie is Michael Douglas just spiraling out of control, you know, he's lost his job, he's going through a divorce, and then it's, it's just, you know, little paper cuts about society that bother you. But now it's, 2 (46m 49s): It's kind of like the precursor to everything Chuck Paluch wrote, which is like, white maleness is under Italian. People gave Chuck Paluch a lot of shit for this, tons of it in the nineties, right? He's, they called him a Nazi. Oh, you're fucking complaining about this and that. It's, 3 (47m 3s): We are, was it sex drugs and cocoa puff that think was really controversial. 2 (47m 6s): Yeah. It's like, I mean, there has been a little bit of concerted effort. I maybe it wasn't as obvious to everybody in the nineties as it is now. Right now. I think most reasonable people are like, yeah, maybe we took that a little too far. Yeah. But falling down was 89, right? Or so, something 3 (47m 22s): Like that. 89 90 right in there somewhere. It was right at the cusp. Yeah. 0 (47m 25s): But this is, this is the thing about the attack on what call it, you know, white masculinity in America, like being, being afraid to even talk about that is the end game of what they wanted. It, it comes, I believe that there is significant evidence to, to substantiate this. I, but it's, let me couch it by saying, it is my belief that it is coming from our external enemies. This is something that is a propaganda tool used by China and Russia, and they do not want, and it was, it was a, it was a black, I'm trying to remember, it was a black colonel or Colonel 3 (47m 59s): Sanders. 0 (47m 60s): Yep. Not him, but he was the one that, that he, he did this whole YouTube maybe wasn't Alan West, I'm, I'm trying to remember who this guy was, but he was basically like, you know, white guys fucking man up. Right? They're, they're trying to rip you apart because you guys build shit. You guys put shit together. You're the majority of our population. If they can make you docile and self-loathing, we don't fucking stand a chance. Right? So get your shit together and understand that, that this is a coordinated attack on your ancestry and your masculinity. And I'm of the opinion, and I, I or you guys know, but I think that the combination of, of, you know, self-loathing, white guilt, narcissism, call it white guilt and socialism together, it's, it's more destructive than fucking plutonium. 0 (48m 46s): But 3 (48m 46s): The, the, the masculine character in falling down is Robert Duval. It's not Michael Douglas, correct? No. So that's the, it's the guy who's put up with it, dealt with it, and actually lives a life and realizes a lot of stuff is just the way that it is. And you have to keep going. Like he's way stronger than the Michael Douglas character. Yeah, a hundred percent. And the Michael Douglas character is likable, but it's because he doesn't hurt. He doesn't actually kill anybody when you think about it. So it's like he's kind of just going on this revenge spree. Did 0 (49m 14s): He kill the Nazi guy? 3 (49m 15s): I, I think he kills one person, but like in the fast food place, he doesn't, on the golf course, the guy has a heart attack, but he doesn't actually like shoot him or anything. The guy just has it, you know? So there's all these scenes that kind of make it where he's still watchable. But yeah, the point of that is just sort of, all this stuff is coming at you all the time and you're being inundated with news and information, which is terrifying. 'cause this is pre-internet and it's gonna make you go absolutely insane. Does 0 (49m 41s): It, does it appear to you, you know, as somebody who's clearly not a white male, does it, has there been any sort 3 (49m 47s): Of I'm a white male, 0 (49m 48s): Correct? 3 (49m 49s): Oh, sorry. Yeah, 1 (49m 50s): No, I know. Does it, 0 (49m 52s): Is any of this apparent to you? Does this hit your ears like it's whining? Like what does this sound like to you when you hear 1 (49m 58s): This? No, I don't think it's whining. And I think that I've kind of delved deep into a lot of it. 'cause I have two boys, right? And they're white, white passing, white passing. I mean, at what point, right? 0 (50m 8s): Yeah. They, they, yeah. Those are two honkeys. You're raising two little c And 1 (50m 12s): My youngest, his eyes are, they're definitely Asian. But I don't know, it's like, there's this quote with men. It's, it's in regards to men. So it's between the king and the fool is how you tr like how you speak to him, right? And that's the man that's gonna show up. And I think that there's certainly proof or some proof to that. Or like, there is some truth to that, I should think 0 (50m 33s): Between the king and the fool. 1 (50m 34s): Yeah. So it's like, how you treat a man is how he's gonna show up. So if you're constantly treating him like he is not capable or that he's an idiot or that, right. Like, whatever it is, that that's how he's gonna show up. But if you treat him that to his potential that he'll show up. I think that there's some truth to that. I don't know at, it's like, at what point though, you should be, and I don't encourage it, but like, you should be able to show up really shitty and he should still be himself. I think that's the job 2 (51m 2s): Of, I mean, it's leadership, right, to some degree. But when it happens in mass and what the, the process that you were describing earlier is called manufacturing consent. And it's this theory that Noam Chomsky and his co-author, they wrote a book called Manufacturing Consent back in the eighties about exactly this. And the endstate is to have people self-censor, right? Like you make the social consequences so high for somebody to say something outside of the preferred narrative that people will choose not to say it anymore. We saw it over the last 10 years. I mean, it happened, and right in front of our fucking faces, and very few people stood up and said anything about it. Most people just put their hands in their pockets. Aw, shucks. Put their head down and walked away from the situation, right? So it's very effective, even in a, even in a society like ours where half the country's like, fuck you. 2 (51m 43s): There's 0 (51m 44s): Actually a German word for it. There's one word in German I'm trying to remember. But it, it's, it's essentially a preamble of genocide. Mm. It's, it's the condition 2 (51m 51s): That, well, there's a sorting process. Yeah. Yeah. 0 (51m 53s): It's the condition that you get people into being a, comfortable with othering B actually othering. And then when you do something atrocious, then to the others, they're like, well, of course they deserved it to happened. There's a process that the Germans actually have, have a name for, I guess. 3 (52m 8s): Or you dismantle the society with the economy 2 (52m 11s): And drugs. Yeah. Yeah. That's how that happens. Which is what it's happened here, Weimar. But yeah, it's like if you, if you mapped that onto the broader population, you know, there, there is herd immunity to everything. It isn't just about physical disease. There's herd immunity to bad ideas. That's why sunlight's always the best disinfectant, better ideas out into the public sphere, which is why censorship is so bad, you know, in, in mass. Not just do the individual good ideas will generally trump bad ideas if, if the circulation is, is correct. But this has historically been true. I'm not sure if, if it's as true today, but being a dude could be difficult. You've gotta go do actual labor when there's a war, you're the one that goes to fight it and stuff like that. 2 (52m 56s): And it's a high price to pay. And you know what we want, you alluded to it earlier, is deprecation for that. That's it. That's really all you have to do is acknowledge pat a dude on the head and say, good job every now and again, and they'll fucking do stupid shit for you. It's true. And when you take that away, to your point, that's, that's what she's talking about. That, and, and this, this is the practical application of what she just described. If you stop telling people that men, especially that they've done a good job when they've gone, even if it, it didn't work well, right? Like, hey, thank you. I know it didn't work this time, but I appreciate the effort. If you stop doing that, they'll stop trying. 1 (53m 32s): There's a weird ego thing with a lot of women too, because they're like, why am I gonna acknowledge, appreciate or say thank you for the bare minimum? And it's like, you don't realize how many, you guys don't do the bare minimum, or 0 (53m 43s): Why should I do it? Because any guy will do it for me Also, that, that nothing is a bigger turn. Nothing will turn me completely off and check me completely out faster than this idea, than anything I do is worthless because somebody else would do it to 1 (53m 57s): Me. Well, that's a, 0 (53m 57s): They're a swipe right away from just like, I'm, I'm replaceable in any moment. 1 (54m 0s): It's an overcorrection though. I see a lot of women do it. It's an overcorrection from them being with shitty dudes. So then they go into what is actually a princess mode. Yeah. And they say, and I know a lot of women like this. I'm like, I'm not gonna do this because I have 10 guys that would buy me a black car and sort this. I've got 10 guys that would buy my flight. And it's like, that's also really shitty place to be kind of dating from as 0 (54m 23s): It makes you as a guy. It has, it has a, a blowback effect on you. It has like, I'm not gonna do anything in front 1 (54m 29s): Of you bitches. Well then this goes back to, 0 (54m 30s): Fuck yeah, you deserve this. Well, this 1 (54m 31s): Is, this is like the power of verse force thing. So one perspective that, and this is what 99% of that archetype of a woman's gonna do, is she's like, I have a, a whole bench of guys that'll do X, Y, and Z. Right? So now you have to do it. Right. That's force and a place from power is how can I show up in such a way that he wants to do these things without me even asking? And there are two different things, and you can both get you the desired outcome. Yeah. But there's, 2 (54m 55s): There's also a blowback from both, right? And the blowback from the, what I would call the more noble path, which is to show up with good intentions. The blowback from that is usually, oh, at least at some point over time, you'll meet somebody that'll meet your intention. You'll find somebody that's like, you know what? Fuck yeah dude, I like that energy. And they match it with force. You're basically compelling somebody over and over again, which means as soon as you stop compelling them, they move on or you move on, or you both stay there doing that, but lose interest or whatever. Right? It's, it's, it never, and the long over the course of a long period of time, but will never wear it can't work, right? Yeah. 0 (55m 29s): That's the shit. Like, like everything can't be a fucking test at all times. Always. Everything is not like a, like a yes no. Ab b you're moving up a notch, moving down a notch, you know, like at some point Yeah, 3 (55m 40s): You're not married. Like, 0 (55m 43s): That's crazy though. Who wants, like, how do you live your 2 (55m 45s): Life like that? Well, life's not transactional. Well, always, right? Like, but, but neither is, like 3 (55m 50s): You always said, love is completely transactional. And 2 (55m 55s): You, you grew up in Detroit that, 3 (55m 56s): Yeah, I don't know. I have a much bleak or outcome. I just, 0 (55m 59s): You tried to buy pussy for cheeseburgers. 3 (56m 0s): I just want, I want a please mother. 2 (56m 5s): But you were, you were a professional baseball player, right? Yeah. So you 3 (56m 9s): Got laid. 2 (56m 10s): No, no, no. That's not the point of that. But yeah, probably twice. Probably a couple times. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you. Half 0 (56m 15s): Of them were good for you. Some of them was even, they were even aware it was happening. Sorry. 2 (56m 18s): There there is, you don't, like, if you obsess over every single failure, right? Like if you don't, if there's not a constant reward mechanism in baseball, you're fucked. If that's the way you go at it, right? Like certainly the best, the best ever. They never take a pitch off. Right? So locked in. Yes. But you have to accept that a 70% failure rate is a hall of fame rate. Right. Which is, 0 (56m 45s): Was the hardest part for me to deal with. 2 (56m 46s): It's, it's difficult for everybody. You, that's why I think most people, even at a young age, don't fulfill, I think baseball and or like mentally is the most difficult sport to play for that reason. Right. Because it's mostly failure, especially as a hitter. So you mapped that onto your life, you're gonna, in your first, like, let's say, well, 3 (57m 5s): And as a hitter, sorry, I didn't mean to cut you, but Yeah, but like as a hitter, the, I mean the strikeout feels the same. Like it stays with you like the home run. 2 (57m 12s): Yeah. 0 (57m 13s): Way worse. The 2 (57m 14s): What? I mean the, the loss stays with you. Yeah. And I, I've never hit 3 (57m 17s): A home run, but the strikeouts did stay with things, 0 (57m 19s): But, but it's similar. It's interesting you say that. 'cause I have a similar issue with comedy where I can do 45 killer minutes and there's one joke that I did that didn't land, and it's all I fucking stew on. Or we're recording something and I didn't tell the joke properly and it's not gonna be cut correctly. Yeah. Or I've cursed too much. And I was unaware, like I have a tick that I say fucking a lot because of where I grew up. And I, it's not in anything. I write anything. And then I go and look at the clip after I was like, did I really need to say fucking four times here? 2 (57m 50s): Well, this is the, this is the, this is the dichotomy of life though, right? It's push pull and everything. You do everything from, from the physical to the metaphysical world. When you're lifting weights, if you don't do both, you're gonna be weak in one side. Like you're gonna have, if you do push only, you're gonna have back problems. Everybody knows that. Right? That's just intellectually true. The push pull in the metaphysical part of your life, or I guess in the social part, is you're dealing with, and I, I don't want to trivialize this or be reductive like Swayze's character and fucking Donny Darko, where everything's either love or fear man, that's not true. But it is true motivation wise. That is true. Right? So you have to run from what you fear and chase what you love. 2 (58m 35s): That's typically accurate. Sounds 0 (58m 37s): Dangerously close to cardio. 2 (58m 38s): To what? 0 (58m 39s): Dangerously close to cardio 2 (58m 40s): Bud. No, no, no. Not literally run. Oh. So put put the, and this is something that I have to talk to soldiers about a lot. Especially guys who are out now who haven't been able to contextualize this stuff. You have to, you have to understand what it is you fear. It's important to understand what it is you fear, because that's the thing you're trying to avoid. And you have to insulate, not insulate yourself from the risk, but insulate yourself insofar as you're more resilient against that risk. Right? So my fear is not death. I've been in too many close situations to even consider that at this point. But letting down my family, letting down my men, that is unacceptable to me. I will not let that happen. Things 0 (59m 17s): You can't control, 2 (59m 18s): Right? So I put that behind me. And when I'm in the, like even today, I'm not in the fucking army anymore. YiIVEM, goddamn. Talk about butthole in politics for living for Christ's sake. But I'm doing, like, I'm, I'm riding a peloton in my fucking garage, in my very expensive home. And I'm playing war footage next to me thinking about I'm not gonna let that dude down. And that's what motivates me. But then, you know, you can't just do that. 'cause then you're always running. You never enjoy anything. Right? That's what you're talking about. You never actually sit around and appreciate everything and everything does seem transactional. If I don't do this today, then I'm fucked. Yeah. Right? You can't think like that. It, it's hard to, so what's in front you that you love? Right? You know what I mean? So what, what are the things that actually we, we talked about a little bit last night. 2 (59m 60s): What actually brings you joy? Making your family happy? Probably should. Right? Whether it's your immediate family or your married family or whatever it is. Stuff like that should bring you joy being a good man, stuff like that. Right? I think that brings you joy in a way that doesn't fade when the moment is over. 0 (1h 0m 18s): The hardest thing about comedy, Dave's been doing this for a long time. He can talk about it better than me, is there is no end to the objective. You, you like baseball? Yeah, sure. Nine and it's 27 ounce. The game is over. I can check myself and Yeah. And I can self and I can, I can be, I can evaluate where am I, am I where I need to be? What can I do better? This game that we are in, it's just a constant fucking, it feels like, I don't know if it feels like this way to you, you know, you, you've been so successful at it. But for me, a lot of times, man, I 3 (1h 0m 48s): Feel Thank you. It's an illusion. 0 (1h 0m 50s): I feel like it's the cat chasing the, the fucking laser pointer. Sure. You know? It's like, well, what is success? Well, success is you're a headliner. Okay. I'm a headliner Now. What, 2 (1h 1m 0s): What do you think about the get 0 (1h 1m 2s): Get your TV show, get, get that, get, like, what's, what's the, 2 (1h 1m 5s): What do you think about the Jordan Peterson principle? Just improve, try to improve 1% every day. 0 (1h 1m 10s): I kaizen I like that. But I also think like, you know, fuck 3 (1h 1m 13s): You dude. I have a suit of two colors. 2 (1h 1m 15s): You look like the fucking ridler Jordan. I know. Calm down with the suits, 0 (1h 1m 18s): Bud. You, you were gonna say something and we cut you off. 3 (1h 1m 20s): No, no. I, I forgot. Okay. No, I, I don't even remember now. 1 (1h 1m 24s): No, I think so when you're on that treadmill or you're cons like the cat with the laser, that's why. Yeah. Sean, tell me something. No, well, you brought it up. So 2 (1h 1m 31s): Like, audio references to 1 (1h 1m 33s): It was that episode we did earlier with that NFL guy drew bled zone. Yes. Sorry, I'm so, so bad at sports. 0 (1h 1m 42s): We'll definitely not cut that. Yeah. 1 (1h 1m 44s): It's to take the moments to, to celebrate. Right. Because if you don't, then you're constantly like, what do I, what am I doing next? So you have to create space from when you attain the thing that you've been working on before you start planning the next thing 2 (1h 1m 55s): Yeah. To do that you 0 (1h 1m 56s): Yeah. You drink and do drugs for 10 years. Well, 2 (1h 1m 58s): Maybe. Right. If you fucking, if you make it pathological. So you have, thank you. Part of part of doing what she's talking about is defining what little successes look like to you. Right? Yeah. That's why you like, if you're heading nowhere, you will get nowhere. 3 (1h 2m 10s): The problem is, is yeah. You also don't recognize what success is. A lot of the times when you're living in it. I mean, when you're looking at something military, it's weird to even compare the two. The fact that you're leading people out and people are alive is this amazing thing. Like to even put comedy to it as a, it's a bizarre comparison to me. You know, because it's like that's, 2 (1h 2m 27s): Well, I've done both, so it makes sense to me. And I don't mean to like Yeah. Like I'm not projecting onto anybody that you should fucking live to any kind weird standard like that. That's not 3 (1h 2m 36s): Real. No, no. And I, I mean, I think it takes a special breed, but it's like, part of part of it is not having gratitude and not enjoying the ride, not getting to a point where you're comfortable not letting yourself be, become, I drown on the negative all the time. That's just the way my brain works. I wish it didn't, but it is, that's just how it goes. And it's like, I'm learning to now be grateful for like, the first time in my life. And this is after 15 years of 2 (1h 3m 0s): Sobriety. What was it that switched it up for you? Because like when I, when I feel like I have an inclination towards something that isn't necessarily necessarily positive, I don't immediately dismiss it anymore. Because if you're sensitive to something that's not intrinsically bad, like maybe you're sensitive, like some people are more sensitive to, to cognition than they are emotion and vice versa. Right? Right. It's not always male female, but that doesn't make you, it's not good or bad. It's like how you use that thing. Right. So if you're sensitive to the bad, that probably means you're gonna be quite a bit more empathetic to the plight of other, so like, you're a dad, right? 2 (1h 3m 41s): Yeah. And I 3 (1h 3m 42s): Also massively sensitive. 2 (1h 3m 43s): Yeah. So you, but you, it's part of a but you can see, you'll, you'll be able to see your male child go through some sensitivity issues. Yes. During his, during his puberty phase, which is coming up pretty soon. Yep. And that's a dangerous time for a young man because you could either use your masculinity to become useful or violent. And we see this a lot these days. Right. More than ever before in human history. You, 3 (1h 4m 3s): You can also become useless. I did that. 2 (1h 4m 5s): Yeah. Useless too. Well that the, the less dangerous now that diddy's in jail, but still, still dangerous. But like, you'll be able to see it in your kid now and it's a superpower for you. Like, some dads won't see that. They won't see that their kid's sliding off the fucking rails now. So it's not an intrinsically bad thing. 3 (1h 4m 19s): No. I think things that I had to go through that I, I know he doesn't, but he's also has a lot of things that I didn't when I was young. Like I was more of like the artist and I like to make movies and do that kind of stuff. When I was a kid, my brother was the athlete. He's very, my son's competitive 2 (1h 4m 34s): Plays baseball, right? Oh 3 (1h 4m 35s): Yeah. Travel baseball, plays football, all that stuff. He's really good. And he's competitive. He's smart. He does well in school 'cause he wants to learn. I didn't have really any of the, that drive. I had a drive to create things that I wanted to create. And I did everything that I put my mind towards I would do, but I never felt like I need to compete with you or compete with you. Right. I just had to do what I wanted to do. And it's like, you, for me, if I, the amount of times I've disappointed myself because I'm fighting like depression and stuff that's gotten me into a place where I don't, I don't want to be, but like, part of it is just to keep going. And like that's, and it sounds cheesy, but like sometimes the reward is just like, okay, I didn't like, I hate the idea of like, okay, I just survived today. 3 (1h 5m 20s): Sure. But it's like, I think you need to get up and do something better for yourself. Mm. But like, forgiving myself is the hardest thing in the world. I still can't do it. I'm struggling with it. Like, and I think to get to that point, to answer your question was, I don't know how many bottoms I had to hit until I realized what I had was already great. Mm. And then when you're sitting there with, with nothing realizing that you fucked it, fucked it up again. Like it, it's the worst feeling in the world. Yeah. 0 (1h 5m 50s): Depression's a monster, man. I think one of the things as you live through it, you know, fortunate truth of it is like, it's gotta beat you a few times before you start to recognize what it is. And like, now you can start to, you know, you talking about sensitivities and like triggered or whatever. Like, you're like, oh, here comes, here comes the sadis. You know? And you can now, after a while you can kind of like, alright man, I gotta, I gotta 2 (1h 6m 13s): Get outta this fucking, I think people make the mistake of trying to avoid it. I I don't think that's a good look Avoidance hardly ever works in, in any realm. Mm. But I think, you know, we've gotta get, we've gotta to get a lot more comfortable sitting in our uncomfortability a little bit. Yeah. Just, just the, and this is what the whole psychedelic thing is about. It fucking breaks you down so much that you have to sit in it. You can't, what the fuck am I gonna do now? Prostrate on the ground and the broom spinning. And you 3 (1h 6m 40s): Can also break it down in a way that you weren't able to before. Yeah. To analyze it. 2 (1h 6m 44s): I mean Yeah. Now, now I can see like, instead of a blur, like, 'cause it comes whatever emotion it is, it comes in waves and you're, you find yourself sometimes even physically moved to a new spot and you don't even know what the fuck happened. Right. So the point of that is, you know this as a baseball player, especially as a hitter, if your mechanics get fucked up, you don't go out and take fucking home run cuts to fix it. You go back into the, into the cage and you hit off the t you break it down into little parts. Right? So if you're able to slow all that shit down and see this happens and this happens and this happens, this is what we are, the brain is a very advanced fucking machine that determines between threats and benefits. Right. And if you make it, if you let it go too fast without understanding how it works, you're gonna miss some of the key parts. 2 (1h 7m 28s): But you can see danger like that, that instinct that you have that's your fucking caveman brain from 25,000 years ago saying whatever that pattern of movement, smell, sound, sight is, it's fucking wrong. That's 0 (1h 7m 41s): One the things about can that I like so much. I mean, you know, you're intuition, you're, you're in tune to these things in tune to the energies and stuff. Like when is this something that, that is this pattern recognition when you see things or you say things about like, I call her a witch. I call her bruja. 'cause she's, you know, clairvoyance. She sees the future after time. 3 (1h 7m 57s): Right. 0 (1h 7m 58s): And is that something you've always had? 3 (1h 8m 2s): Well, my, 2 (1h 8m 3s): Somebody used to tell a joke about how their birth certific had an expiration date on it. Yeah. That's one of my, I can't remember who it was. Anyways, 0 (1h 8m 9s): So is that something you feel like you've always had or is that something that, that you've become more in tune to as you've gotten older? 1 (1h 8m 14s): No, I think women are more advanced in with that in general. And I don't think it, I think slowing down is a big part of it too. Right? So women, you get too mu into your masculine then that's very fast and it's goal oriented and then you lose that. But it's when you slow down and you're okay with silence is when you can kind of just pick up, it sounds so woo, but you're like, oh, the vibes are off. But there is something to energy. And I think that women, if you are in a place where you are open, then you can kind of receive that like a, like an antenna. So that's why like a lot of men, we were talking about it on one of the episodes too, which is with the importance of like who, what woman a man picks to for his partner. A lot of the more successful ones before they do any deals, they be like, well, what do you think of this person? 1 (1h 8m 58s): Or what do you think of this deal? And she's like, I don't know, it's just off. I don't know. He's just off. Right. And they'll listen because there's just something that they can pick up and there's not a lot of evidence. I know that with the CIA specifically, like they have a lot of women and they train intuition based training. I don't know the details of it, but that iv, what's her last name? Palm Per, is that her? What is 2 (1h 9m 19s): It? Something like that. Yeah. 1 (1h 9m 20s): Yeah. She talks a lot about it premise specifically. And I think part of it is there's this fiber in the brain, it's the corpus cossum and women have more connections there. So they think that they're just able to kind of pick up on things faster because the information passes from left brain to right brain. Yep. 0 (1h 9m 34s): Faster. I'm also, 2 (1h 9m 35s): People ask about like, women in the military and, and combat jobs. No, you a hundred percent dead ones in the field. Right. Like drag dragging Brooks dragging, dragging my big dumb body out of a fucking ditch because I got shot. It ain't happening, dude. I'm, I'm sorry. It ain't happening. I can barely do it with guys my size because you've got another fucking 80 pounds of gear on. But the best intelligence operators I know are women. All of them. Literally. All of them. Yeah. Like every, every an every fucking analyst in the agency and the NSA and elsewhere other places that I know they're women. All, 0 (1h 10m 12s): Every single time a girl has accused me of cheating. She was fucking right. She nailed it 100% of the time. I was able to talk my way out of it a lot of the times. But they, they were spot 2 (1h 10m 20s): On. Well, this isn't, I think times that's just believing 0 (1h 10m 23s): Manipulation. 2 (1h 10m 24s): That's cognitive dissonance for sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's just denial. But this, this is, this isn't a, this isn't a new principle. Even forget about the intuition part. But even in some deeper connection to whatever world out there, you think there is spiritual wise, you know the story of Pontius Pilate, right? Like the guy who ordered Jesus to be crucified, his wife had a dream the night before, is like, don't do this. Mm. This is a mistake. And that's in the Bible. It's like they, they're talking about paganism in the Bible and how effective it is. Of course. Well, 0 (1h 10m 53s): Yeah. I mean the Bible is just a treaty between the 2 (1h 10m 57s): Yeah. 0 (1h 10m 57s): East and the West. But but 2 (1h 10m 58s): Forget about all that. 'cause it's, it's a, it's a, it's two separate religious texts, right? Yeah. And a chain of religious texts that recognizes the authority of a religion that it's meant to replace. Yes. 0 (1h 11m 12s): But you have to, 2 (1h 11m 12s): That's, that is a profound thing that's happening there. 0 (1h 11m 14s): Yes. But y we all have to view it through the lens of the Bible as we know. It is a commission text by the Romans degree that make the Romans some degree. Not the bad guy. I mean, the killing 2 (1h 11m 26s): Of the mean, there's not, we found the to to certainly with the New Testament. That's true. There's no question about that. The historical record just isn't good enough for us to know for sure. So the presumption is that, but the Old Testament's probably pretty 0 (1h 11m 42s): Accurate. Conscious Pilate though we know was the Romans Nutcracker. Yes, we know. And there there was a providence that wasn't coming to heal. They sent him there and they were like, okay, guys, don't wanna join The old don't wanna join the old empire willingly, huh? 2 (1h 11m 56s): Yeah. And they kind of, you'll get there. I, I think the, I think the accepted story, have you heard 0 (1h 12m 1s): Of 2 (1h 12m 1s): Crucifixion? Yeah. Yeah. Guys 0 (1h 12m 2s): Are gonna love this one. 2 (1h 12m 3s): I think the accepted story is that Herod bribed pilot at all. Like the, it would've been, I don't know if that was the first or the, or I'm sorry, the second trium just yet. I think it was the second trier they bribed. 0 (1h 12m 18s): It's actually, there's some theories that, that's one of the, one of the wedges that was in the second trium is that Herod's bribery went to Mark Anthony share 3 (1h 12m 28s): You grab the Bible outta my car and we can figure it out. 0 (1h 12m 31s): Do you have one in your car? Of course. 2 (1h 12m 32s): It's the popup version right next to the 0 (1h 12m 34s): Narcan. So when you did the, but because you did the recovery, but you, you did recovery without becoming a born again. That, that, that's, that's, 3 (1h 12m 41s): I never felt unborn. You 0 (1h 12m 43s): You didn't wanna be born again. You didn't. 3 (1h 12m 46s): I didn't. No. No, I didn't. Oh, you mean I didn't all of a sudden get baptized and make my entire persona speaking of bears. A bear didn't baptize me in a river. 0 (1h 12m 57s): Yeah, you didn't, you didn't go all Shawn Michaels and say sorry for the last 50 years. But I'm good now. So 2 (1h 13m 3s): I, 3 (1h 13m 3s): I believe in God, but I also believe that challenging God is, is something you should do. And asking questions. And I believe in free will. And I think that's why there's a lot of bad things in the world. 0 (1h 13m 14s): Challenge challenging God or challenging religion. 3 (1h 13m 17s): Challenging religion is already there. I mean, there's no reason you shouldn't challenge any religion. There's, there's, I I 2 (1h 13m 23s): Really, 3 (1h 13m 24s): I guess you could say I would identify as Catholic. 'cause that's what I was raised. But every single religion I think is, is flawed because it's, it's, it's a manmade version of something. But I like when I pray and stuff, like, I think you, you have the right to be angry. I think you have the right to say the things that you feel. I think the idea of just accepting everything for the way it is, is kind of shitty. And I think if, if you go through life just going like, I believe all of this stuff lockstep. I I don't know if that's, I don't know if that's true faith or just true ignorance. 2 (1h 13m 56s): Well, Paul said study all things and hold fast of what's true. 3 (1h 14m 0s): Exactly 2 (1h 14m 1s): Right. I don't think there's any real admonition in the Bible to just follow things blindly. 3 (1h 14m 7s): No, there's not 2 (1h 14m 8s): Like, certainly don't tempt fate. You don't have to be a cunt about it. Right, right. But there's the, at no point does it say fucking either this or a punch in the face. Right. Like, it's like Right. We 0 (1h 14m 23s): Did say I 3 (1h 14m 24s): Am the first testament though. There's, 0 (1h 14m 25s): There are no other gods but me. Well, 2 (1h 14m 28s): The Old 3 (1h 14m 28s): Testament does though. Hmm. Deal. And you know, and that's a lot of 2 (1h 14m 32s): Worshiping. The Old Testament's rough. There's this prophet named Elisha, not Elijah, but Elisha. And he was bald Yeah. And sensitive about it, apparently, because some children were mocking him one day and he called some female bears out of the woods to maul them to death. Hmm. Now 3 (1h 14m 46s): Gross. I 2 (1h 14m 47s): Don't understand how you can square that with like, were 0 (1h 14m 50s): They homeless and does that make it okay? 2 (1h 14m 52s): I don't know if they were white. Oh, that's what you should be asking. They 3 (1h 14m 55s): Polar bears, huh? No, 2 (1h 14m 57s): Not 3 (1h 14m 57s): The, the polar bears. 2 (1h 14m 58s): Yeah. The kids. Oh, 0 (1h 14m 59s): It wasn't whether care about the kids or not. 3 (1h 15m 1s): I see. Okay. I just wanna make sure nobody got hurt if they were a polar bear. 2 (1h 15m 5s): Oh yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. The coke, Coca-Cola bears 3 (1h 15m 8s): Remember those? Or the pandas, the mulatto of the 2 (1h 15m 10s): Community qua. Anyway, can you, are we seeing mulatto bringing that back? I'm, I'm down. I'll help. I just, yeah, I mean, just gotta, lemme know. I'm just saying 3 (1h 15m 18s): We don't need that mix all the time. Right. Bears 0 (1h 15m 21s): Would, would you want, would you want, or would you let your, your son serve? 3 (1h 15m 28s): Yes. Because 0 (1h 15m 29s): Your, your father was a, was a veteran. 3 (1h 15m 30s): Correct. 0 (1h 15m 32s): But, 3 (1h 15m 32s): And the government killed him. Well, 0 (1h 15m 34s): That's, yeah. 3 (1h 15m 35s): Yeah. Sorry. I mean, 2 (1h 15m 38s): I'm sorry. Back up what happened? 3 (1h 15m 41s): Agent Orange and they gave him absolutely nothing. 2 (1h 15m 44s): Yeah, yeah. That 3 (1h 15m 45s): A lot. Which then he paid out of pocket, lost everything for brain surgery leading to my mom's suicide. So it was like, I had a lot of, I guess that's what I mean. Like, I have a lot of questions about faith where when I talk to God, I'd rather be honest than try to be like, okay, is this pleasing you yet? Yeah. Because part of me is like, Hey, you want to, you wanna throw me a bone here? Yeah. Yeah. You know, and there's, and I'm not saying woe is me. My life is a thousand times better than probably most of the world, you know, and I'm, I'm aware of that now, but through my life, you know, you don't always feel that way. Yeah. But the way that I would let my son serve, if that's what he wanted to do, if that's something that, because I think, I believe in America. 3 (1h 16m 30s): I really do believe in this country, and I really do admire the people that have fought for it. And that's not some cliche, like, I hope soldiers like me bullshit. Like I, I do what I can, which is I do fundraisers. I do everything that I can to po my Uncle Joe, who is a Marine, he runs a, a place out of Atlanta about face USA that I help with. Like, I believe that soldiers should be taken care of. And I think they are, it's disgusting what we do to them. Mm. But it's like, I also do believe in this country, and I almost 0 (1h 17m 0s): Think it's purposeful though. I, I I think our government doesn't want our soldiers healthy coordinated. But that's a whole different topic. 3 (1h 17m 7s): It's, well, that's very, very possible. But I also think that if my son believed in this country and wanted to do it for that reason, I'm also fine if he doesn't want to go. You know, I, I don't think it matters either way, but I, I mean, I do think there is nobility to it. And if it's for something you believe in, like actually what this country should be, I think it's important. 2 (1h 17m 30s): There's a lot of ways to serve your country. N none of them require carrying a rifle in some foreign fucking 0 (1h 17m 37s): Land. Well, listen, I mean, you have two sons. If your, if your sons were, were to enlist, is that something you would support? 1 (1h 17m 42s): I mean, I'd support it, but I would be terrified. 3 (1h 17m 45s): Yeah, you wouldn't be, I mean, it's gotta be rough. I mean, it had to be rough on your, or was your family kind of behind you? We're 2 (1h 17m 51s): Not close. Oh, okay. But I've experienced that quite a few families. Yeah. I mean, like, shit, 18, 19, 20-year-old wives with one or two young children. That's crazy. Watching their fucking husband go off to war again. That's one of 0 (1h 18m 5s): The wildest things as I'm getting to my age, man. It's like you see the guys in uniform walking through the, the airport and you're like, that is a child, man. 1 (1h 18m 13s): Yeah. That's my one friend's husband is on his 12th deployment and she's got two, 4-year-old twins and he's home maybe a couple months. A year. Yeah. And since they've been born, that's tough. I know. And like, I don't know, there's gotta be a really big why to, you know, for me 2 (1h 18m 33s): To make that decision. Well that's, that's the why really fucking matters. It's like, It's difficult to do that stuff and it's, it's, it's harsh for not just the soldier but the family as well. Right. And one of the things that heals you is, and you can still see when you watch the, the interviews done for the band of brothers, guys. Right. It's these old men just breaking down, crying, thinking about their experiences, but their guilt is over losing their buddies or whatever. It's not over the stuff they did ever. Like these dudes sure fucked the British, the the Germans up and they didn't give a shit about it. Right. The Japanese, they fucked them up. They didn't care about it. It was never about that. It was never the moral injury with them in that regard. 2 (1h 19m 15s): It was the other thing. And this is a perfect encapsulation of what it, what the transactional nature of m masculinity is in a society. It's hard. And it's gonna cost me my life either now or I'm gonna die young because of this. Soldiers don't live long. Right. That's historically been the case. Now it's better. Right. But historically that's been the case. It's still bad. It's, well now it's, it's it's offset a lot by the suicide now too. Exactly. But like, which I need comes from 3 (1h 19m 48s): A lot of places I'm 2 (1h 19m 49s): Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I need, I need this to be worth it. Right. Like Vietnam was not worth it. Yeah. Iraq was not worth it. Afghanistan was not worth it and Israel will not be worth it. 0 (1h 19m 59s): And we know it will 2 (1h 19m 59s): Not be worth it. 0 (1h 20m 0s): It's a very hard thing 3 (1h 20m 1s): In Vietnam was about being dragged into it. Like, my dad was in between colleges when his number got called and it was like, oh, guess I'm going, fuck Yeah. And it's like, you know, the only lottery he ever won. And it's like, but I mean, it's why when I was young I learned more about things in history. I knew more like what are conspiracy theories now that are popular? But my dad just knew these things. Like, he, he wasn't crazy. He just researched all this stuff. My dad was a coach and he ran little league. Like he did everything he could for his kids. He was a foster kid. He had his, he had his biological mom, but his dad left the day he was born. Like, he became an opposite of like where he grew up in the hood. But like he, you know, I don't, he, we worked for hard. 3 (1h 20m 42s): I know. He just worked really hard for what he had. And it's like to have that be taken away later because you're dragged into a war that makes absolutely no sense is a terrible thing. Yeah. And I like, 2 (1h 20m 51s): No, no, there you won't find dudes. And they're all mostly gone now, unfortunately, but, well, it's just a matter of time. But yeah. From that, that served in the European and Pacific Theater, who regretted having to go there? You don't, you would never hear that story. Yeah. You may, you may from time to time, but it is rare now. That is the, that's the majority not even the plurality story. That's the majority story now. And that fucks you up worse than anything else because you're, you've taken my honor, right? Yeah. And you've used it to purchase nothing. Yeah. And that's, that, that is, that's something that most dudes can't come back from taking 0 (1h 21m 24s): Some great men that were willing to give sacrifices that our government just doesn't deserve. 2 (1h 21m 29s): Yeah. But again, it's, it's a perfect encapsulation. This isn't just unique to being a soldier. It's a perfect encapsulation of the transactional nature between masculinity and society because it's also hard to go work in the fucking fields all day. And right now it's gonna be hard for some dudes that are in their thirties and forties and maybe even fifties to say, the next frontier isn't some new weapon or something. It's ai. I've gotta go learn how to fucking do this stuff. Yeah. Otherwise I'm gonna be replaced by some Indian dudes. And look, we have, like, this is the Manhattan project right now. We have to win the AI race or America will not exist in 50 years. And that's not of, that's not hyperbole. I'm fucking serious about that. And we're not graduating enough people to do it. 2 (1h 22m 11s): Right? No. And we should be spending all this money that they're spending on this H one B shit. We, we should be, who's horrible. We should be spending on training Americans to do that job. Right. And not just, and and, and it's a balance too, right? Like we have to determine how far behind we are and we are behind how many people we can graduate from these and get them up to speed on specifically ai co like grunt work coding, spending fucking eight to 12 hours a day in a fucking cubicle typing. Right. It's gonna create a whole new condition on your body that didn't exist before. It's not about working the field. Your knuckles aren't gonna get busted as a mechanic anymore, but it's gonna fuck your brain up. It's gonna fuck your arms up. Right. It's gonna make you a fat dummy problem if, if you can't get into the gym and stuff. 2 (1h 22m 53s): The problem 0 (1h 22m 54s): Is though, this is all secondary stuff. First is motivation. You can't, we, we haven't hit our military recruitment in six years, I think well 3 (1h 23m 3s): Here. But think about how many people come in from a different country. And especially what he's talking about now. You're taking away people that are actually going to care about the value of the United States to go in. Like if you look back like World War ii, like you were saying, like Jimmy Stewart and it's a wonderful life. He was an actual shell shock soldier when he went to do that movie who wanted to kill himself. You know, like, because he had just come back from World War II when he filmed it. Like that's the guy, that's basically his story. And a, it plays, same thing with 2 (1h 23m 31s): Otie Murphy. He played himself 3 (1h 23m 32s): Otie Murphy. Absolutely. So it's like you had movie stars went to fight because they believed in what they had. We don't have that anymore as a society. 0 (1h 23m 40s): No, this is what I'm getting at. There's no motivation. What you're saying is do the hard things because they need to get done. And there we don't have the buy-in, we don't have the belief that I, that I'm going to make this sacrifice. Yeah. I mean it's, you've wasted the fucking sacrifice of how many generations. Sure. Yeah. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna fucking that. That's the part that we have to address in the immediacy. We have to create an environment of buy-in, like you said, of the American dream. Again, because my generation, the generation beneath me for sure doesn't fucking believe it. We don't believe in it because we're not suckers. 3 (1h 24m 13s): Yeah. 0 (1h 24m 13s): 'cause we've seen the lies and we've seen the propaganda and we've been lied to. And unless our government desperately does a 180 and tries to get our trust and love back, nobody's gonna make the sacrifices. What you're saying is 100% Right. But the motivation is not gonna be there. I think if you win, guys are gonna smoke pot. They're gonna watch fucking porn. They're gonna play fucking video games and they're gonna die and they're not gonna give a shit. 2 (1h 24m 39s): Well, I think, I think if you wait around for the government to start doing things the correct way, then this country will end. 3 (1h 24m 44s): Yeah. 'cause they're never going to, and it's not like you have politicians that are necessarily rushing out to serve. Some have, obviously. Yeah. Some, yeah. But for the most part they're, it's designed so someone else does the real dirty work and they make the money. And that's, it's, 2 (1h 24m 58s): That's always been the case. And maybe that's not the worst thing ever. Right. The system, because I don't want those people fucking near me yet. 0 (1h 25m 3s): Then the system has to collapse if the system is not gonna update. So your kids are learning AI and coding because then they'd have to retrain teachers that have to then be union, that then have to have, you know, 80 year pensions that are coming in and we can't make any of these changes. And when we're locked in this bureaucracy, 'cause some politician wants to buy votes, well then we're gonna lose 1 (1h 25m 25s): Gonna, well, they're saying, they're saying that 95% of jobs are gonna be gone and then everyone's gonna be on UBI. There's not gonna be, there is no other option. 0 (1h 25m 34s): I I don't, I don't agree with that. I, I think that we can't conceive of the 3 (1h 25m 38s): Future. Future. What are you gonna do? Run a blockbuster. I think she's right. I'm just kidding. 0 (1h 25m 43s): We can't conceive. There's no way in somebody. But we are, we're going into another industrial revolution. The AI is the fourth industrial revolution. Yes. Right. So if we think of it from the, from 3 (1h 25m 53s): You of Henry Ford's not letting kids build cars. And if they lose their finger, I, we don't know what's going on. I mean, we know in China they are Yeah. They're still on Ford train of the first industrial revolution. 4 (1h 26m 4s): Ford looks at the, at the nets hanging 3 (1h 26m 6s): Outside of the, 4 (1h 26m 7s): Of the skyscraper and goes, 3 (1h 26m 8s): Ah, rats. Finally we think of that. Yeah. If the kid falls in the hotdog myth makers, like back in the day. Well, well that's the thing. Apparently that was complete bullshit up in Sinclair. Yeah. Apparently. Nonsense. It apparently never happened. Apparent woke happened a little who, who knows, we didn't care about people. Well, we did, but not, 2 (1h 26m 27s): This is, this has happened before though, in the Roman Empire. Right. Like, 3 (1h 26m 32s): Oh, history repeats itself. 2 (1h 26m 34s): We've learned it'll always like this. This will go away just like everything else did. Sure. And it'll just take time and maybe it comes in slightly different forms. But the Romans got particularly comfortable, the, the, the, they got so large that it was unmanageable. So they split the empire sometimes into fourths. Right. But mostly and bifurcated it into the east and the west. The 3 (1h 26m 56s): Tion 2 (1h 26m 56s): Cons. Yeah. Constant de noble and Rome and 3 (1h 26m 60s): Ravenna actually 2 (1h 27m 1s): The people that were still in Rome were what the modern American is unmotivated. It doesn't matter why it doesn't matter that it was after years of fuck faces like Nero. Right. Doing crazy shit and eating babies or whatever the fuck he was doing on that little island. You know, it didn't matter why it was, there's GK Chester is an English author and he talked about the greatness of Rome. And he says that 3 (1h 27m 29s): Rome wasn't, 2 (1h 27m 30s): Wasn't great because, I'm sorry, men didn't love Rome because she was great. Rome was great because the men had loved her. Right. So it's not about the goddamn government or the politicians. It is about the average American deciding that the idea of America is stronger than any of this. The idea that personal entrepreneurship and individual liberty is the ultimate inoculation to radical bullshit. Right. And that if you and I do business together, those cunts over there can't stop me. Right. That's why we wrote that second one in there, that if you don't reclaim that belief as an individual and then spread that into your community, then it doesn't matter. There, there will be no system that can fix this ever. No systemic change can fix this without the individual. 2 (1h 28m 10s): That's how the system of government was built. Right. Well 3 (1h 28m 13s): That's why the, every other governments want poison the ideology. Oh 2 (1h 28m 16s): Yeah. I mean, that's why they want to amplify group think especially. Absolutely. If I like you, you guys might both be conservative and have differing opinions about what that word even means. Right? Yeah. But if I, but if I tell you I'm moderate, but if I tell you he's liberal and you're deeply conservative either regardless of what the goddamn definition of that word is now you don't like each other and I control that, right. Because I control the fucking media shaking 3 (1h 28m 41s): The ants. 2 (1h 28m 41s): Yeah. More or less. That's, that's essentially what it is. It's like you gotta fucking get outta that. And the only way to do it is to fucking walk it with somebody, look them in their eyes and shake their hands. Say, I don't fucking like anything you believe, but I'll fucking fight with you. Right. 3 (1h 28m 54s): Well, that's what it is. Yeah. It's what is the saying? You know, like, I don't like what you have to say, but I'll, you know, I'll die 2 (1h 29m 0s): For your right to defend, to end. 0 (1h 29m 2s): I, I I think there's another way, and I think this is where comedy comes in. I think comedy be woke. I don't, I don't, I don't think, 2 (1h 29m 8s): Well, I mean, it's always been subversive to authority. 0 (1h 29m 10s): Sure. Yeah. So I, you know, I, I get, you know, the idea of being a standup guy, being a leader leading by example. I love all that stuff. But, but we're in an information war. We're in a cold war. We're not in a hot war. We're not, we're not physically fighting with, you know, people we disagree with in the street. One of the things that's a mind fuck everywhere we go is all we see on the internet and all we see in television is this constant culture battle that we're in. But when we walk the streets, we're, we're perfectly fine to each other. Yeah. 2 (1h 29m 39s): Bill Hicks talked about this in Arizona Bay in 1991, I think is when that album came out. Yeah. He was like, people, it's like war, famine, death aids, war famine, death aids. And you walk outside and it's just crickets. You're like, 3 (1h 29m 50s): Yeah. You're like, I think it birds chirp and it seems kind of nice today. 2 (1h 29m 53s): Sounds like a nice day out. I'm just gonna go stand in the sun for 20 minutes. So our 0 (1h 29m 57s): Our our ability to lampoon what has happened in the culture over the last 10 years has changed the culture. You talked about it with Jen Alpha. Jen Alpha identifies with us. They don't identify with woke comics. No, it's woke is a joke. No. Like there's nothing more cringey you can be than a woke Karen right now. 3 (1h 30m 17s): Well, and and so even taking all of that out of it, there was a point where like people thought Dennis Miller was essentially liberal. Yeah. But when he explained it, he is like, well, no, but that's who was in power was the, was Republican. So that's who I made fun of. I make fun of who's in power. Yeah. And that's what it came down to. So if you turned on Saturday and live or these other shows, what they were making fun of, Carson, whatever it was, it was all across the board making fun of everything. There wasn't, there was this ability to kind of like, at least get the other side or understand what was happening. Now it's become a sport and everybody's got on their jersey, or at least the extreme sides are, and then you also have a lot of people faking it. 3 (1h 30m 57s): They're faking it for money. Everybody wants to be an in influencer now. So there's all these people who really don't know what they're doing or actually have any belief 0 (1h 31m 5s): Like hotep Jesus, 3 (1h 31m 6s): Like hot, I dunno, cat, but Oh right. 2 (1h 31m 9s): Cat, cat heard that guy on Twitter. Just, it's just inflammatory stuff. And he's, he talks about it. He's like, yeah, I'm making a lot of money on Twitter. I'm like, cool man, do you love America? How do you feel about that country that you live in? Fuck face. It's like, I like, and certainly there are, 3 (1h 31m 23s): I don't like anybody that hides. 2 (1h 31m 24s): No. I mean, and certainly there are for every one on the right, there's one on the left. Yeah. It's there. There's so much parody in this fucking contest of shit bags that just wanna fucking tear other people down. Right. Absolutely. There's two ways you can succeed. You can succeed independent of anybody else's work product. Right. Or you can fucking go stand on top of their work product and push it down and make your, and that that's, there's two ways to climb or just ignore it. No, no, no. 0 (1h 31m 52s): You don't like something just 2 (1h 31m 54s): Chase. But there's, there's, there's two ways to get to this level, right? One is to fucking pull yourself up, the other one's to pull the other guy down to your level. Now you're on the same level. That's what people do, right. Tail is old as time. And the ladder of that is the person you should be the most suspicious of because they will do fucking anything except for work to level that playing field. They'll do anything. They'll fucking call the, Hey, I think this dude's not wearing his covid mask. They're having a party right now. Those people that were ratting people out during all this shit. I don't think it was just liberals doing that, 3 (1h 32m 24s): To be honest. No, it wasn't. And it was people doing it to their own families. Yep. I mean, yeah, we have turned into a society. I don't even know if we've turned into it. I think a lot of our society has been that. I mean, it's not like stitching. Yeah. 0 (1h 32m 39s): I, I think you know, 2 (1h 32m 41s): The, 0 (1h 32m 41s): God, I basically 3 (1h 32m 42s): Out anything to save yourself or to look better or, 2 (1h 32m 45s): You know, or to position yourself. Like, it, it's, it makes social sense to position yourself in a way that is acceptable to other people. Well this 3 (1h 32m 52s): Is, this is, 2 (1h 32m 53s): Yes, but, but if you're doing, if you're like, if you, this is you as car salesman, pattern nonsense. Right. You know, if you know that you're a shit product or you're just, maybe you aren't, but you're insecure about it, then you're, the only way to, to do that is to juxtapose yourself against somebody else. And the only way to do that is to fucking degrade their character. 3 (1h 33m 11s): And they try to do it with slightly bigger people because they know other people are upset that that person's successful. Sure. And then all those people get together and it's like you, to me, you just come off like such 2 (1h 33m 23s): A cu 3 (1h 33m 23s): Yeah. Well, you're just a failure because you're not actually doing anything. Yeah. You're just making something worse. And you're trying to tell people that what they're doing is important when what they 2 (1h 33m 31s): Do. It's, it's Perez Hilton. Yeah. That's all it is. Yeah. A talentless fucking retard. Yeah. Who's just like, oh, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm going to, I'm gonna shine a light into the worst day of some people's lives to make myself popular. And that is the worst person in the world 3 (1h 33m 45s): Who think that way. It does. Even some of the worst people ca like, okay, if you're did any human traffick or whatever. But it's like, there's people that, it's like once, like the idea of kicking them when they're down is absurd. And especially if they were a one time liked, you know? Yeah. It's like even the guy from the Cosby Show was bagging groceries at Trader Joe's and they're like, look at this loser. It's like, why? 'cause he's making a living and still trying to be an actor. Yeah. What are you doing? Yeah. You know, I think the problem is in our country, a lot of it is empathy. And a, a lot of it is you want status. And I think that being better than everybody, it doesn't exist. Nobody looks at somebody in this like crazy admiration. 3 (1h 34m 26s): I mean, maybe Taylor Swift, but you know, there's a few. But it's like this idea that you have status over people. At the end of the day, people are gonna care about their family and their friends, and the people that genuinely like them and love them. Like that's the truth. So this idea of, of all these people wanting to be famous and the status symbol, it's all kind of this bullshit facade and everybody just wants to be it. Now 2 (1h 34m 47s): It's a replacement of the caste system. So we, we, we shed the caste system for life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, right? Yes. And everybody starts the same. Now, obviously that wasn't true until we amended a few things, but it became true, certainly in the nineties. At some point it was probably as true as it's ever been. And we decided, you know what? That's not good enough for me, for whatever reason. Maybe that's just the default mode for human beings. Maybe we're not as, as Ben Franklin said, we have a republic if you can keep it right. That was a famous quote of his, it's like, maybe this is our default state. Maybe this is like, maybe this is, you know, so we go through, men have the a cycle as well, right? 2 (1h 35m 31s): It's not the same as women's, but we go through stuff 24. It's not Yeah. 24 hours. Yeah. It's a 24 hour period, right? Not period. Literally, but a period of time. And we go through the same type of, let's not call it emotional rollercoaster 'cause that's reductive, but 0 (1h 35m 46s): Something like that. I'm in my teal phase right now. Yeah, 2 (1h 35m 48s): Yeah. I can tell. 3 (1h 35m 49s): Is that why I wake up sometimes happy and go to bed wanting to kill myself? And then it's the reverse. Yeah. 2 (1h 35m 54s): But we, we both, we both have these, we both have these trajectories and it doesn't look the same because one looks like this and the other one looks like this. Right. And it's really quick throughout 1 24 hour time span that's got, like, it doesn't mean that they're not the same thing. Right. And you know, this, this, this, maybe we're going through this period, like this is a bump in our marriage to fucking governance. You know what I mean? Like, we're having a rough patch here and we gotta get things correct. And the way that you do that, invariably, whether it's a business deal or relationship or anything else, is fucking honesty. Right? We had this really good thing, we took it to this point and it started to break down. 2 (1h 36m 37s): Let's figure out why, let's figure out how to repair it, because maybe it's not perfect, but it's better than that shit. Yeah. 3 (1h 36m 42s): Right? Yeah. America's like, yeah. You're at the point in the marriage where it's like, we haven't gone to church in years and I'm getting pegged while my wife is dressed like the rhinoceros. And it's like, maybe we should kind of tell it a bit. We get here and maybe 2 (1h 36m 54s): Reevaluate the things we should probably at least see it. You know what I mean? 0 (1h 36m 58s): I think a good thing is, is that you can't fix anything until you admit there's a problem. And I think that's the honesty across the board. Every American goes, all right. Some of the shit's. We, we need some. Well, here, here's, 2 (1h 37m 7s): Here's thing that keep running into, though we keep running into this. Just because you don't like somebody's solution to a problem doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Right? 3 (1h 37m 15s): Doesn't mean won't work either. Rob 0 (1h 37m 17s): Paul is one of the best quotes of all time about that. He goes, you know, the problem with socialists is that they're right about all American's problems. You know, they, they offer solutions that would make it worse. Yeah. But they identify the problems correctly. 2 (1h 37m 28s): Yeah. So it doesn't help. Like this is what 0 (1h 37m 30s): Like, like our healthcare system is fucked. Yeah, it is. Yeah. I could be a, a rabid capitalist, which I am and say, this healthcare system is garbage. Yeah. You know? Well, 3 (1h 37m 39s): 'cause capitalism should stop in certain places, in my opinion, and especially when it's $30 for a syringe, that's a problem. 2 (1h 37m 46s): Yeah. 0 (1h 37m 47s): But the solution to that is not murdering the healthcare 2 (1h 37m 49s): CEO. No, that's stupid. Of course not. But that, but that's what, that's the, that's the 0 (1h 37m 53s): Powder category celebr that, which I think is a slippery soap, because if you think you're mad at healthcare CEOs Yeah. Wait till you find out how mad we are at lockdown politicians. Yeah. And if we're gonna start playing this game. 3 (1h 38m 3s): Well, and also, yeah, you have the right to be mad at certain people. I don't, I don't, that whole thing is weird, but it's also insurance. Unfortunately not people, a lot of people can't afford the best insurance. There should be something in place for that in this country, for Americans that need healthcare. Yeah. And I mean, Americans that need healthcare. 0 (1h 38m 20s): Well, so I would love to see an amendment made. An amendment made. And, and I know you're big good friends with Dan Crenshaw, so maybe you can ask him about this. Yeah. I don't think we should spend a dollar more on death than we do on life. Whatever our defense budget is, I think we should spend on healthcare and lifestyle improvements in America now. I'd like to see them whittled down significantly. Anyway. I, I'd like to see our budget be 10% of what it is. I'm, I'm not hopeful that Doge actually can do something. I don't know. We'll see. Right. That might just be, 3 (1h 38m 52s): You know, I got in early, so I'm good. 0 (1h 38m 55s): No, yeah, that's, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm talking about No, I know the Department of Government efficiency, but yeah, 3 (1h 39m 1s): I pulled out early. That's not true. 0 (1h 39m 3s): So you're, so, you're good too. 3 (1h 39m 4s): No. Anyway, go on. 0 (1h 39m 9s): So the at, at the, at the, at the end of it, I, I'm sure that there was a point to what I was saying, but now YiIVEM blacked out. 3 (1h 39m 18s): We're not the only one on this couch that'll do gay porn for money. 0 (1h 39m 23s): That's nonsense. How dare you say that? The ca Candace is a beautiful woman inside and out. There's video evidence. I 3 (1h 39m 29s): Don't know why I made that. That wasn't at you. That wasn't me. It's fine. Just so you know. All I'm saying is I'd blow a guy for a mill right now. 0 (1h 39m 36s): Dude. When I, when we were playing B Ball, we would 3 (1h 39m 39s): Be, I made a lot of mistakes. 0 (1h 39m 42s): There's 3 (1h 39m 42s): Nothing worse than getting rich and fucking it enough. Oh God. God damn. I could fuck up a grilled cheese. And I have, I do whole story about it. Oh, anyway. Sorry. 0 (1h 39m 56s): Would, 3 (1h 39m 57s): Would, we would, that's me being trash, just so you know it. You some stunningly pretty actress me. Gay trash. Gay trash. 0 (1h 40m 8s): I think that's probably a good place to end it. 3 (1h 40m 10s): I, I wouldn't enjoy it. It was not like I would, I mean, maybe after a while you do get used to it. 0 (1h 40m 15s): Dave, what's your, be most of the people watching out there can help keep your butt hole virgin 3 (1h 40m 19s): At David Dash 0 (1h 40m 22s): Dish. 3 (1h 40m 22s): Five. I will send you tasteful nudes such as a shampoo bottle in my gaping anus. Oh wow. Well, that I just slip in the shower a lot. Yeah. And I take a picture of it. 0 (1h 40m 35s): It's, it's, and with that, make sure to watch him while the Blaze, it's called Normal World on Blaze tv. I 3 (1h 40m 40s): Know. I went there. 2 (1h 40m 42s): Definitely normal. Well, I mean, look, happy Gilmore II's coming out. That's kind of an Adam Sandler thing, the shampoo bottle. 3 (1h 40m 47s): So that's true. Yeah. That's from, I'm excited. I hope it's good. Yeah. I mean, I hope God they be, they better not fuck that up, dude. Like I, I, I watch all those movies with my son. Are your kids at that age yet? Okay. Like, once they like, oh, it's so much fun watching those movies that 2 (1h 41m 2s): You grow up. It seemed profane at the time, but it's not 3 (1h 41m 3s): That bad. And nothing that, nothing that you see from the nineties when you watch it now or you realize you're like, this is just 0 (1h 41m 10s): Numb. Yeah. It 3 (1h 41m 12s): Just pg 2 (1h 41m 12s): Be on tv. 3 (1h 41m 13s): Yeah. Like you're, I'll show my son any r rated movie pretty much from the nineties minus a few. 0 (1h 41m 19s): Yeah. I'm hopeful because they had a bunch of pa PAs walk off set apparently because the movie was anti woke. It wasn't woke. And that, how are you 2 (1h 41m 27s): Gonna, how are you gonna be a pa for Happy Madison and think that he's coming in woke? Well, I don't know. Like he's never done anything woke. 0 (1h 41m 32s): Yeah. I think a, I think a lot of these, 2 (1h 41m 34s): They're all Republicans for fuck's sake. I know. I know. He doesn't talk about it and everything, but those, all those half Madison guys are all rep pubes. Yeah. 3 (1h 41m 41s): They don't fucking do that. And Kevin James, I mean it's, it's very obvious. And also the fact that they don't talk about it means they're conservative. Yeah, 2 (1h 41m 48s): Exactly. 3 (1h 41m 48s): You know, I mean 2 (1h 41m 49s): That's, it's, you can see it in the fucking a negative space at this point. Yeah. If somebody's not constantly talking about Kamala Harris. 0 (1h 41m 55s): Yeah. Can you believe he won? No. 2 (1h 41m 58s): What happened? Who would vote 3 (1h 41m 59s): For that? No, that's, oh, Beverly Hills did. That's weird. 2 (1h 42m 2s): I think it's really important that you get out and vote. That means Republican these days. 3 (1h 42m 6s): I'm not saying which way to do it. Yeah. Enough. Where I don't have to pay taxes though, all 0 (1h 42m 12s): That much. Also, I'm still married and I love my kids and they're, they're still the gender that they were born of. So 3 (1h 42m 16s): I don't have Yeah, that's a good, 0 (1h 42m 17s): Who am I voting for? 3 (1h 42m 18s): That's a good sign. When Will Smith shows up with his weird ass, like half penis to children. And then you have to deal with like the Adam Sons, like, these are my kids and maybe they should play separately while we film. Your kids are creep. 0 (1h 42m 35s): Don't wanna meet Willow. You're not 3 (1h 42m 37s): Allowed. No, no. And he's like, trust me, you don't want to meet Willow. No, no, no. This is my wife. She bangs all his, her friends. 0 (1h 42m 44s): Yeah. Actually, if you're Adam Sandler's son, you'd more wanna meet Jada. Right. 3 (1h 42m 47s): I, I don't, 0 (1h 42m 48s): I have a problem. Only you can fix. You need to heal me. She like, you held like you like you healed that other boy. That 2 (1h 42m 56s): Was entanglement. Yeah. 3 (1h 42m 57s): Yeah. I liked Will Smith. She's, she's hurt him. Bad Something bad dude. Bad. And the fact that people, a lot of people don't blame her. It, that's just, 0 (1h 43m 7s): Well, the humiliation thing where she made 'em sit there at the red desk while like, dude, the whole time 2 (1h 43m 12s): It was a struggle session. Nuts. Straight outta nuts. Fucking mid to mid. I could 19, 1900 lose it. Like Russia. Like what? Flip the fuck. 0 (1h 43m 20s): Table over. Come on man. Yeah. 3 (1h 43m 21s): Nuts. Nuts. That's basically how you break a woman, like a horse to go hook on the street. You don't do that to, you're husband is a movie star. That's bananas. 0 (1h 43m 29s): Just looking out the whole time going like, you're 3 (1h 43m 31s): No too talk. He did take it. Did he did 0 (1h 43m 33s): Well. Yeah. Allegedly 3 (1h 43m 33s): That too. Yeah. I mean it, it, it cracked his psyche and Yeah, he did. He got the guys who came in and said that he would just get railed. 2 (1h 43m 41s): There was murder in that room. There was 3 (1h 43m 43s): In that said, that's why DJ Jazzy Jeff isn't as big as he should be for the talent he has because he was probably like, I'm gonna, I'll just go spin some records. But 2 (1h 43m 52s): Yeah, you can enjoy that. Back in the, back in the early nineties, that that half mil he made. You could buy Jim. He's probably good. 3 (1h 43m 57s): Oh no. Yeah. Well he, I saw him perform last year. It was fun. He's 1 (1h 44m 2s): Still alive. I was supposed to do that show a couple years ago and then I went through like three vetting processes for it and they wanted me to come on and just say how amazing porn was. And I was like, well I can't do that. Like I can definitely give you the si the angle that I think there's some positivity. Positivity to it. But I also have to do this other half. I'm like, mm, no, Jada really wants something like really empowering. So we can't really criticize the industry at all. So if you come on, I was like, well that's not gonna work. We don't want 3 (1h 44m 29s): Wasn't any true here. 1 (1h 44m 31s): If you could just get a whole bunch of 18 year olds to sign up for like casting couch, that would really be making a difference. Yeah. We 0 (1h 44m 37s): Think that would be great. I would love to see those guys from band of brothers that, you know, fought the Nazis and you know, show them that their granddaughters saw in her butt hole on Instagram. I'd like to see 2 (1h 44m 47s): That document. I mean, some of 'em might be into it. Yeah. A lot of those dudes came back with foreign wives, my man. That's true. Yeah, that's true. A lot of 'em left babies over 3 (1h 44m 53s): There. We went to France and they put it in their mouth. Did you hear 2 (1h 44m 58s): American America wasn't exactly 3 (1h 44m 59s): Boy howdy. 2 (1h 45m 0s): They weren't exactly the most sexually progressive country in the 1940s. 3 (1h 45m 5s): We are still very puritanical compared to a lot of countries. Absolutely. 2 (1h 45m 9s): We didn't discover butt sex until the eighties, I think. Like 3 (1h 45m 12s): What? 1 (1h 45m 12s): All of Europe. 0 (1h 45m 13s): All of Europe. Yeah. But like how much, 2 (1h 45m 17s): So the Netherland botanical, the Netherlands aren't gay enough. The Netherlands, for example, had something called morale brigades. Are you familiar with this? I'm not hookers. 3 (1h 45m 26s): Oh, 2 (1h 45m 27s): That's it. I mean, look, I like to, I I don't like the euphemism. Do you 0 (1h 45m 30s): Get drafted into 3 (1h 45m 31s): That? 2 (1h 45m 32s): I think it was, I'm, I, I don't, I don't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure it was just all volunteers all 0 (1h 45m 37s): Volunteer around. Yeah. 2 (1h 45m 39s): See 1 (1h 45m 39s): It's really patriotic. 3 (1h 45m 41s): It's good. There's antibiotic said it though. 1 (1h 45m 43s): That's honestly most of my fan base. Yeah. 3 (1h 45m 45s): Is what? Military, 1 (1h 45m 46s): Military dudes. 0 (1h 45m 47s): Really? Well I thought it was like Saudi princes or something 1 (1h 45m 50s): Like that. No, I would've retired a long time ago. That 3 (1h 45m 52s): Was the case. 0 (1h 45m 53s): Yeah. Well, you know, so what, ask not what you can do for your country. Right. Ask what your country can do for you. 1 (1h 45m 60s): See, I'm all about contribution. 0 (1h 46m 2s): I'm here for it, man. I, whatever. Whatever helps guys get through the day. I think so. It it is true. It's fun watching when, when I've been out with you, seeing guys that served come up to you like I, you know, with their hat in their hand. Like I, I I could've never gotten through. 1 (1h 46m 15s): That's, we went to and I had seals coming up. Yeah. That's gotta be nice. Like thank you for your surface. Like anytime 3 (1h 46m 22s): It, 0 (1h 46m 23s): It was my 3 (1h 46m 23s): Pleasure. Will you sign my fleshlight? 1 (1h 46m 28s): That was a big thing though. So it's the, 3 (1h 46m 30s): Have I just found this out the other day on his show? So I don't know. 1 (1h 46m 33s): No, their wives would send them my fleshlight. Okay. And the, or their wives would send me the fleshlight to autograph and like, I wanna send this to my husband. He is deployed right now. 3 (1h 46m 41s): I mean 2 (1h 46m 42s): That, that, that autograph seems unnecessary. 'cause that's definitely getting smeared like Yeah 3 (1h 46m 46s): I would wait 2 (1h 46m 46s): Sweating it in his hands. 3 (1h 46m 47s): I wait 1 (1h 46m 47s): Until it would dry before I sent it 2 (1h 46m 50s): Permanent. You would? Yeah. But then he's gripping the thing fucking white knuckling that god thing. Well you put it on bag. You put it 1 (1h 46m 57s): On the cap. 2 (1h 46m 58s): YiIVEM never actually had you 3 (1h 46m 59s): Ever wonder if your vagina mold ever was 0 (1h 47m 2s): We in 2 (1h 47m 2s): Bunks? Right. Wherever we can. Where are guys jerking off in the desert? Desert The same way you do it in prison bud. You fucking hang a sheet. Is that right? Oh yeah. Away. And you try not to rock little. My god, you try not to rock to bed too much that it makes noise. That's out of respect for the other dudes. So the 0 (1h 47m 19s): Guys are in the room. Oh yeah. And you're just like, I gotta crank 3 (1h 47m 23s): You ain't never been to jail or had a bunk bed. 2 (1h 47m 25s): What happened? How many times you been arrested? 0 (1h 47m 28s): You seen, did you spank in jail? 2 (1h 47m 30s): You seen prison break? Bitch, 3 (1h 47m 31s): I've, we don't gotta talk about stuff. Why 0 (1h 47m 34s): The hell we're here. We're here 2 (1h 47m 35s): Now. 3 (1h 47m 35s): Well sure. Rehabs, mental hospitals. Really all that jazz. 2 (1h 47m 39s): The fucking car ride on the way over there. Yeah. Yeah. He was driving. Yeah. 3 (1h 47m 44s): It's what you want. I mean, what can I say? Gas stations just make me the 2 (1h 47m 51s): Smell. Yeah. 0 (1h 47m 52s): Is that at Acor Cova 3 (1h 47m 53s): Over there? Yeah. The smell of gas reminds me of my first time. They never caught 'em. 2 (1h 47m 59s): Well 1 (1h 47m 59s): This is certainly not gonna be monetized. So make sure that you sign up for Patreon or Yeah, the buy me a coffee on chatting with candace.com because this is 100% gonna be restricted also maybe go to Spotify 'cause the video will be up there much longer than it'll be up on YouTube. 100 0 (1h 48m 15s): Percent'll. 1 (1h 48m 15s): This will be up for three hours. 2 (1h 48m 17s): Will it get pulled over and 0 (1h 48m 18s): Over and you think so? Yeah, it'll get pulled until it's, it's out. Yeah. I 2 (1h 48m 22s): Think it'll be fine. Think positive. It's 0 (1h 48m 24s): Yeah. For the great Dave Land. And you, if you've never seen Dave Live, you have to. It's one, one of the absolute best working comedians today. Thank you. Check him out. You'll, you'll love him. Check out Drinking Bros Citizen Pod and drink hard a f Seltzer with the great Dan Holloway. I'm Gerard Michaels. That's been Dave Landau. She is the lovely Candice Horbacz. And we'll see you guys next time. 1 (1h 48m 47s): Peace. Bye everybody.