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Jan. 13, 2021

#25 Chrissie Mayr

Comedian Chrissie Mayr and I talk about where comedy is going, if any joke is untouchable, why comedians and pornstars gravitate towards each other, and what inspired her to start getting personal with her audience.

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0 (0s): <inaudible> a free buddy that you're listening to. Chatting with Candice I'm your host. Candice Horbacz back before we get started on this week's episode, if you want to support the podcast, you can go to Chatting with Candice dot com and click that little link that says Patrion or buy me coffee, both things help me to continue podcasting increase the quality of the production and hopefully to start getting some guests on this week, I'm really excited. I got to connect with Comedian Chrissie Mayr we met on Twitter. She had me on her awesome podcast and I had such a good time. I wanted to invite her on. She's doing some really incredible stuff and I hope you enjoy the conversation. 1 (45s): Hi, how are you? Good. How are you? Good to see you. Yes, you too. Oh my gosh. I just got my hair re dyed yesterday. We can't really tell it looks the same, I guess that it's also a dim lighting. Yeah. Yeah. And also like I've been playing with like how purple and how many colors to have going. It's tricky. It's a tricky. I like the purple. Are you in LA? No, I'm in New York. How did you get your hair dyed? I'm in Westchester. Oh, I just go and I wear a mask, even though it's annoying. And a M just cause I was behind, like the last time I had my roots done was like beginning of August. 1 (1m 28s): So I was like, I really don't need to go. And I needed to like a little bit of a trim. So I was like, you know what I'm doing? On-camera things. Let me just like, suck it up and go. I know I've been doing the same thing. I don't know how long it takes for your hair. For me. It's like I kid you not almost a five-hour process. So how do you do an own Bray? I just like hand painted highlights. Ooh. Yeah, it just takes a really long time. And then I have a lot of grays that need management too, so we can't even tell. I know. So I just like, I try to avoid it because wearing a mask for that long and then it just gets so hot under all of the aluminum. It's like pounds of it. Yeah. I mean the, the, the places where I went, that's why I was happy to go because it was not a huge chain. 1 (2m 14s): You know, it's like a smaller chain. And I was like, all right, let me just go. And they were like low key about it. Like I had it, you know, like off my nose and nobody's giving me a hard time. Cause there was also like one other lady in there getting her hair done. So I think they were happy too. And I like tipped them more than usual. Cause I was just like, ah, they're struggling so hard times. Yeah. Yeah. It is a new, York's crazy. I've been seeing a lot of the dining stuff right now with feet of snow and people in the parking lot of the site doing. Yeah. The picture's from the one place, the Smith there, like why are they here? Why are people that I'm like, first of all, I remember the Smith. That's where I would go looking for Dick when I was single. 1 (2m 54s): That was like one of my spots where I have a girl, because there would always be men with good jobs that would out there. And I was like, Oh, those girls, those girls know what's up. They're not sitting in the snow for nothing. Like, no, they're, they're trying to get somebody locked down maybe a before the holidays. Oh man, that's funny. You have like two podcasts, right? Or are they kind of like the same thing? So I saw, yeah. Tell me about those. So there's the wet spot, which is on compound media, which is a subscriber based network. Started by Anthony <inaudible>, who many people recognize from Opie and Anthony. They were kind of like big on Sirius XM, like in the late nineties, early aughts. 1 (3m 35s): And then when they split, Anthony CUNY has started his own network, compound media and that's like five or six years old. So I've have had that show about a year and a half now. And then my other podcasts, which is the Chrissie Mayr podcast is on iTunes, YouTube, Spotify, SoundCloud. I started it in January just doing it like once a week, whatever. And then in may I was like, let me crank it up, let me do four episodes a week and see if I can keep it up. And I've been able to keep it up, which is great. And I've, I'm so grateful. Like that's my one, like, you know, I'm grateful for the lockdown because of this. It's it's been enabled me to like really push myself on this podcast more unlike the guests I've been able to get, I mean, if you had asked me last year that I would be interviewing Roger Stone over a zoom, I would be like, what the fuck are you laughing? 1 (4m 21s): Why would he talk to me? So it's cool. And I've interviewed some other like more like oo problematic types, like Gavin McInnes, who mostly just gave me shit for not being married. But a lot of people like hate him. And I always enjoy talking to the people that other groups are there. Other people have shut down on or censored or like, like, Oh, let's talk to these people. What's also bad about them. And what I love about my own podcast, cause it's like a wet spot is like fluffy. It's like we do sex, dating relationship topics. We answer questions from bands. You know, before the lockdown, we had fun in studio segments. Like we would have dominatrix in and they'd bring their slaves. 1 (5m 4s): And one time we wrapped a guy up in saran wrap and stepped on his balls and I was like, I can't step out is falls like there. And she was like, go for it. Why not? Oh, I couldn't do that. Yeah. The four things. So we've had, and we will we'll have like a fan sitting in the studio cause they're like these little bleachers setup. So we have a really fun like engagement with fans and with other types of sex experts or a therapist will come in. And I also, it's interesting because I interviewed Dr. Drew on my regular podcast, but you know, I'm going to have him on wet spot at sometimes. So sometimes there is a crossover and there's people who've been able to do both. Like, let's see, Nicole Aniston is someone who's done both. 1 (5m 47s): I think I've had Corey chase on both Jayden Cole. I think I've had Randy James. So it's obviously like a crossover that makes, and I've really enjoyed it, you know? Cause the wet spot has like fluffier and like its like the fun side of my personality and we try to make it like the best of Howard stern. But like if a lady, if a sassy lady was running it, you know, like we'll, we'll talk about like important topics like penises, but you know, it's a, it's a, it's a strong male audience. So I'm not trying to gross anybody out, but we have fun. And then my podcast it's like, okay, it's an hour long conversation with somebody that I want to get to know who I find interesting. 1 (6m 30s): It doesn't matter where they are on the political spectrum. It doesn't matter what they do for a living. If they're just like an interesting person that I want to get to know, it's just, it's an hour plus and I'll get them to, you know, if I can get them to be vulnerable and open up about something that maybe they haven't talked about on other interviews. Great. If not just like having fun and, and like getting to know each other and maybe I can get like a nugget out of them that they haven't talked about anywhere else. Yeah. 2 (6m 56s): And you're a busy lady. I don't know how to have the time for that. I am only doing to a week and I'm, I feel like there's like a thousand balls in the air. It's a lot. Yeah. So I love that you mentioned vulnerability. So I feel like I'm still new to my podcast too. I'm trying to navigate like who to have on and making sure that I guess the overall mission of the podcast remains intact. Right. So not just having people to have on and then some people have such like a curious, like a really interesting and powerful story that I just know personally, but they don't want to share too much of it because they have this following and they think that they're supposed to be a certain type of way and they don't want to lose half of the people or I guess like be vulnerable. 2 (7m 40s): How do you get your guests to open up? Like have you had that issue? 1 (7m 45s): Oh for sure. And I'll always ask them before the record. Like, is there anything that you definitely don't want to talk about? Which in that case, if they're like, Hey, I don't want to bring up the fact that I was like a abused as a child or I don't want you to say my real name or I don't want you to like tell people that I'm married. Definitely that like, especially if like in the adult industry, like I get it. Cause those things do like, I guess like ruin the image that they're this like super available, like sassy gal or guy. I will usually, for me like doing a lot of preparation helps me. Like if I just learn as much as I can about the person and like trying to set up my questions, like I'll have questions ready, but I also really try to listen very hard. 1 (8m 29s): And if there's like a nugget of something, if it's like, Oh, like it was hard, you know, if you hear something like, Oh, that was hard growing up. Or like, my parents were really hard on me or like something that you didn't expect to hear. I always like hang on to that and return to it. And I would be like, Oh, why do you think your parents were hard on you? Or I'll like, maybe make an assumption and try to lead them into it. Like, Oh, where are they hard on you? Because they wanted you to be a doctor like them. And that gets them to, it depends. It's just about like hearing a little something that's that's like out of the ordinary and then hanging on to it and following up on it in a way that it's like, I mean, it's interesting. Cause it's like, you are trying to pry in a sense that you are trying to get in there and learn something. 1 (9m 11s): So it's like, it's a combination of knowing a little bit about them and like making a little bit of an assumption and kind to like, and leading them into it that way, if you're wrong, that can be like, Oh no, they weren't hard on me. It's just that I was lazy and didn't have a good study skills and then they can lead you to the right direction. Or if you're right, then like, yes, they feel understood. They lean into it. And a lot of times what I'll do is I'll use myself as an example. If I meet, if I talk to anybody who had a hard relationship with their parents or anybody who dealt with like not feeling accepted and what they're pursuing with their life, or, you know, anybody whose sibling maybe rivalries growing up or any of the, you know, if there's anything that's a similarity with me, I'll try like making myself vulnerable first in that way, they don't feel like they're the only one who's sharing. 1 (10m 3s): Especially if there is like a little bit of a common thread. That's why I love interviewing pornstars because I feel like pornstars and comedians have a similar like hardship in that. Like for some reason, everyone loves both groups. Like you'd be hard pressed to find somebody who doesn't like who hasn't watched porn and hasn't watched something funny in their life. And there's people who like really love porn or really loved comedy or are both usually, but it's like, people will weirdly judge it. They'll weirdly judge comics weird. The judge pornstars is like, you know, different black marks over you, depending on what you want to go into. It's like people not taking you seriously. People assuming that you're just like, Oh, you must have an only Fanzo you must be an escort. 1 (10m 48s): O and then, you know, people like to make their assumptions, but that's why I like interviewing pornstars because I feel like we both deal with like this judgment factor in our work. 2 (10m 58s): I've noticed, especially when I was shooting a lot in LA, like there is this almost like symbiosis between comics and pornstars, they just love each other. They like to hang out there. If you go to the comedy store, it's like filled with girls. And usually that are in the industry. I didn't notice that I was there in March and I didn't. Oh really? Yeah. They have a laugh factory, a ton. Oh yeah. Great. They just, for some reason they just bond and connect and I think off, we obviously offer you a lot of material for sure. There's mostly guys, 1 (11m 31s): He is doing stand up and like, I mean, for, you know, if a guy meets a girl who thinks they're funny, Oh my God, they're on cloud nine. And that's why a lot of dudes get in to stand up is to like, Oh, this is my strength. And I know it'll help me meet girls. Like great. Let me like run towards it. Yeah, 2 (11m 46s): Yeah. Right. So it's like this, obviously the pretty girl that's on a pedestal. So I guess that explains some of it. Is it hard being 1 (11m 54s): Like a female comic? Like I'm surrounded by dude's and it's just, it seems like a lot testosterone being thrown around. Yes and no. It's it's like so funny because I always think about this question and I'm like on one hand, it's like, well, I don't know what to compare it to, which is great. Like, I don't, I haven't like, I don't know what it would be. Like if I was a dude, I don't know what would've come easier or what would have been maybe more difficult and I've talked to so many female comics who will like candidly say to you, like low key. I have had things handed to me because I'm a pretty girl or like low key. I got this gig. Cause this guy really liked me. And I was sort of letting him like me to get what I needed. 1 (12m 34s): And that's what we're all doing. Right. We're all supposed to use all of our advantages to help us get it. Everyone does that in every industry. So it's like, you can't give somebody shit for that. Cause I'm sure that happens like in the medical industry or whatever it is that like a chiropractor he wants to fuck another kind of a friend. I don't know. I don't know. And so, yeah. And sometimes there are advantages to being female. Like, Oh, if you're, if you're the funniest girl that some guy comic knows and they're booking a show like, and they're trying to be like loosely diverse, they'll probably just throw like one chick on there. And if you're the funniest girl, they know oftentimes it will be U, which is great. And like, you know, in recent years there was more of a push for diversity. 1 (13m 16s): Then there'll be like two or three token girls or like two or three took the drug and black guys or whatever, or a mix. But some producers aren't really thinking about that. They're just like, let me just book, whoever I think is the funniest. And if you have happened to also fulfill like a diversity requirement, it does kind of help. But like, to me, I don't, I don't care about being booked because I'm a girl or because it fulfills it. I would like to be just think of me. Cause you think I'm among the best that you know, it's impossible. Right. For cause it's like you can't not be your inherent femaleness. Yeah. I think it's, it has been harder at times. And by the same token, you're like, there are some things where you're like, Oh, well, like this person's only talking to me because they do want to have sex with me. 1 (13m 59s): Not because they actually think I'm funny enough. Like I think I felt that more earlier on. And then now I feel like I'm, I'm going to stay in a way for like 10 years, I'm pretty established. Like, and it helps that I've been dating the same guy for like six years. So it's like a bully we do. And I was like a newer comic. Like I was fucking every, but not everybody. I was not, I was out there. I was getting to know people. I was like, Ooh. Cause like, there are a lot of cute comics, the eyes. And if they make you laugh, it's like in the same for me. Oh for sure. It's the same thing that like a civilian girl I would be into. And it's like, I always say like, it's so impossible. Like they'll tell girls like, Oh don't fuck another comic. Like just don't do it. 1 (14m 39s): And it's like, what do you want to know? What do you expect us to do? It's like, it's like telling the women at the homeless shelter, not to fuck other homeless dudes. It's like, yeah, ideally you wouldn't, you'd be dry. You try to do better. But little local, what the fuck is around you? You're in a homeless shelter. You're horny. You're going to do, we're going to fuck another homeless dude. And that's how comedy is. You're like in a perfect world. I would have listened to my mom and found a doctor or found a lawyer. But like, this is who I'm with every night. So things happen. You have all the makings for fucking these people. You're out late at night. There's the drinks are flowing. A lot of times the drinks are free. And then what if you go on tour with somebody it's like, what if you get an opportunity there's travel involved. 1 (15m 23s): It's like, you know, you are showing your vulnerability kind of on stage and in the art form in general. So it's like, there's high potential for, for bonding and for like letting your guard down and for just like you're drunk and you're horny. So it's like for, for someone to judge you, because you've like fucked around in your own and it's like, come on, you don't know what it's like until you're you're in it. And I don't know if that's the same as porn. It's like, I don't know if you just feel like, okay, you're sick of these dudes or in the beginning, maybe it's more exciting. Cause you're like, they're not, you're not over them all yet. But yeah, for me, 2 (15m 57s): That was, I was always like with somebody while I was in the industry. So it was always like work, but I understood why, like so many people stuck to the industry because it's kind of like, you guys understand each other more. Right? It's like a us versus them. I didn't know. Comics got like judged a ton. Like, I didn't know that they're you guys got shit. Cause like you make people laugh. We make people feel good. I guess part of it may be is like the late nights and the drinking and some of the vulgar jokes, but like who's not vulgar. Right. It's it's fun. And if it's in good fun. So I guess what are some of the biggest hurdles you've had to overcome in that regard? 1 (16m 32s): It's so tricky because it really, the judgment, I think depends on the person and their life, because it's like there that you could be judged from by your family. Right? Like, because for me personally, like after I was done with college while I was in college, I thought I wanted to be a reporter. So I interned at Dateline and then I interned at late and I was going to Brian when he was still in New York. And like just being in that environment, I was like, Oh my God, it feels magical to me. Even though I was just getting coffee for the writers. And there was a day that I like handled each one of Conan's meals and I was like, I'm going to make it. I go, you know, like I know what gum he likes. And I, you know, the, the, the writer's role, if you're into comedy, like do improv to improv to you. And perhaps, so I did improv for five years, lived at home. 1 (17m 14s): Each of these classes was like 400 bucks a pop for like four to six weeks or whatever it was. So that's what I would do. I would work a day job, go home to long Island, go into the city, do my job, do a class like that was my life. And then maybe you do like one show a week, but it's you're with these, these and improv guys are even weirder than standup guys. Because if we have more like theater kids in there plus random, like, Oh, I'm taking this so I can get better at public speaking at my accounting job. Like you have those guys and then you just have guys with like, I don't have a, I have no hobbies. Like, and then the other guy's like, I'm just trying to meet girls. And so it's, it's like a weird mix where our stand-ups there's less types that are like sure. 1 (17m 54s): Less of a theater type. Like you have the one's that are doing it because they're getting into acting. But then you have like the real scrappy, like dirty, dirty, but they're like road comics. They're like really doing it. I was going to be spending time with all these like weird improv guys. My mom just judged me so hard. And my, my whole family was making fun of me. Like you're hanging out with these weirdos. Like you should be looking for guys with good jobs. I mean, she was right, but that's what I did. And yeah, she would be like, I'd come back from him about improv class at night. You'd be like, how was clown school? Just hearing that for years. And like, they were never taking it seriously. And I don't think they would. I mean, my mom passed a couple of years ago. I only, if I had maybe made it to an SNL, I think would they have taken me seriously? 1 (18m 36s): Or maybe if I'd gotten like a tonight show or a Letterman or something. But even at that point, like, I don't think my family would, I don't know. I actually don't know what it would take. Which sucks. Cause like there's so much of your inner child still like wanting acceptance and wanting love and like wanting the things you never got growing up. So it's like, you get family judgment and then you get, let's say you're, you're just starting out. It's like what? You're going to need to work a day job of some kind like most comics do some other thing, you know, whether they tell you or not that it's just almost impossible unless you're at like Bert Kreischer, a level two to make your whole living from standup. 1 (19m 16s): Right. And I mean, unless you've got other things going on, like a podcast and maybe there's sponsors, it's like, you have to get creative, but then you get judgment from like whatever day job. So for years I think I've had maybe like 15 jobs since I graduated college and I would go to like, I would start these jobs. And then, you know, when you're young and like you're first working, you're dumb. And you tell people, you do stand up for you do improv, you do comedy. And they're like, Oh, tell us a joke, which is great. And maybe you're the funny one at the office and you get some attention and you feel good. And maybe some of those co-workers come to shows, which is great. Especially if there is a bringer requirement, but then I feel like ultimately it is it's to your detriment because then your boss or whoever you're working for is going to think, Oh, this person's checked out. 1 (20m 0s): Like they're not really passionate about selling title insurance. You know? Like they really want to be a comic. And every time that I've ended up telling in the past, like I think over the years, every time I had told a boss that I do comedy it's its come to bite me in the ass. Like they'll use it to justify not giving me a raise. They'll use it to justify firing me. It's like, you always have to deal with whatever their judgment of being in comedy means to them. And then it's like, Oh, and then maybe you don't want your coworkers or your boss like Googling your stuff and listening to 10 minutes of you talking about dicks, you know, you're like, I've like, I've never known a case in which telling a job, what you really do is helpful. 1 (20m 46s): It's it's like, it's better to just, if anybody's listening to this and like just, don't like, keep your head down, keep it secret, keep it separate, be sick to do your auditions. Like don't ever be honest about what you have to go and do, because I think then they can build a case for giving you the boot. Just, just be like, I have doctor's appointments. Like I got to go say, you're going to the gynecologist a lot and they won't ask, 2 (21m 9s): But they won't further PRI yeah. I never would've thought that was so difficult, but I guess it makes sense because they just assume if you end up making it that you're going to take off and they don't want to invest into that person. Yeah. And maybe they, 1 (21m 21s): And a bit like you're an actor almost like, like you're just already, it's like anybody in this job would be checked out where you came in. But they're like, they don't understand because they like doing that. So yeah, 2 (21m 32s): We see off when people are like, give me a joke. 1 (21m 36s): Oh, all the time. But it's like, you come to expect it to. So like I have a go-to it's usually when like I'm in an Uber, like if I'm on the road or like doing shows and it's like, if I don't want to talk, I'll say I and I've heard other comics to this to, if you don't want to talk, if you just say that you're boring, like a bank teller and then there's no followup questions. Right. But maybe you are in a good mood. You don't want to talk. And they eventually will ask for a joke. So I always have this go-to, it's a street joke, but I think I even found it online years ago, but this is what I always say. When someone asks for a joke, I go, okay, if mothers have mother's day and father's have father's day, what do you single guys have then would be like, I'm like Palm Sunday. 1 (22m 18s): And I once told that to an Uber driver actually, when I was in Florida for Thanksgiving. And he was like, Oh God, Oh, that's really disgusting. Like he really reacted. Like I was like, dude, I mean, he ended up in like, what is stiff? This guy is if he thinks that I'm like, you think that Joe goes to dirty. Okay, here we go. But then he didn't talk to me after that. Which was that, 2 (22m 39s): Oh yeah. I like that. There is not like that quiet button or at least there was, I haven't taken an Uber in a really long time, but there was that I'm in a quiet mood or something. 1 (22m 48s): So is there like a don't talk to me button like the quiet mode. 2 (22m 52s): Yeah. That was like, this is long overdue. I never understood it. Like sometimes sure. If you want to get in a good, my husband loves talking to Uber drivers with what is wrong with you? Like a psychopath, like leave this man alone. Let's go about our way. We just were never going to see each other again. 1 (23m 7s): I just want to like talk. I want to get to know this 2 (23m 9s): Guy and look why, but when I'm by myself, I am always convinced they're going to murder me. The more that they talk to me. 1 (23m 16s): I know that feeling. Right. Cause as a chick, you like, you have to be like, this is possible. And then like, I will talk to people if I do get a good vibe, like I'll pass them. Like my podcast, like my business card or something. And if they seem like, Oh, like impressed with what I do, then I'll like give them a card or something. But like, if I'm feeling it in a good mood, talk to them, but if I'm getting like a bad vibe, then I won't try to go on your phone or something. I'm really, really busy. So you're writing your comedy. Do you have like a, a very strict regimen? Like a way that you kind of come up with your bits, if you all, it depends on the gig. 1 (23m 56s): Like I just did a, like a zoom holiday party, which is, I've never done anything, a gig like this. It was doom holiday party for like a tech company. This was like last week or two weeks ago. And I was like, what the fuck do they even do? So I like Googled them. And I was like, I really was looking at their website for like an hour or two. And I was like, I still have no idea what these guys do. And then I was like, Oh, perfect. I'll say that during the show, because I was like hosting it and opening it up. So it's like, you have to deal with I. And I like to, if I'm doing a specialized show, if it's like a fundraiser for a particular group where like a holiday party for fireman or cops or like whatever it is, I'll try to learn about, you know, like learn about whatever it is that they do a talk. 1 (24m 40s): I do, I have jokes about this topic. Can I write joke about jokes about this topic? And sometimes if it's like, if it is with like 3 (24m 47s): A holiday party crowd or an older group 1 (24m 49s): Of like, cause I remember one time I did a Freemason fundraiser. I'm like, okay, that's going to be a lot of old dudes. They're going to not like me right away. And they just go to their gonna be like, okay, this is not going to make us laugh. So in that case I will, it's like, it almost feels like this is cheating, but it's not. But like I will get some street jokes about being a Mason are being a cup just to like in my hosting, like off the bat just to pull them in to be like, okay, this is an easy, dumb thing. You'll laugh at. It's a jokey joke. It like gets you in the mode for like listening to comedy is like easy laughs off the top. And it pulls them in. Cause it's like, okay. They feel like I know them in care about them and their industry. So that's what I did with this tech company. 1 (25m 30s): I'm like, so I'm pulling some like, you know, street jokes about software, like such corny. Like God, there was one that I really, really liked something about like, like why does the V the Vatican use encryption software? And then the punchline is so they can protect all their PDF files. And it was like written out, like it's written out like pedophiles, like PDF files. I was like, Oh, that's actually a really funny. So like some, a little bit of street joke. But then with a zoom, you're like, okay, you're looking at 30 squares. And it's like, how do you do scrap Crowdwork to a square? And I also wasn't like the host position, so I could like pin someone's box so that it would get bigger. 1 (26m 12s): And it's, but it is similar in the way you would work on a regular comedy club crowd. You just like, look at them. You have to think, okay, what are they wearing? What do they look like? Just your first assumption, like guy wearing a pink shirt and he's gay. It's a very simple, it's like, nah, it's not smart. But it usually gets a laugh, like the simple observations, just cause these guys all know each other and worked with each other every day. And for somebody to like bust on their buddy, it's, it's funny. It almost doesn't matter exactly what you say is just like paying them attention and like sort of seeing them and like anybody who was in a zoom Q, but their wife or their kids or whatever. Like just trying to, you know what I mean? You have to make sure there's no like kid kids, but there was a guy in his doom with like his wife and I think his older daughter I'm like, Hey, this guy's got two girlfriends. 1 (26m 57s): He's crushing it. You know, like towing the line of like, okay, I'm being myself, but I'm not like creeping anybody out. I'm not trying to get this guy fired. Who hired all of us so that some crowd work there. And then I was mixing in my regular material, but it's, it's nuts. And a lot of comics feel this way. Now it's like your post lockdown, like post Rhona material almost feels like kind of irrelevant. Like there's no way you could do just a straight set. And that's what was weird before the lockdowns and stuff. You could just get away with recycling, the same set with jokes from better years old. I had one joke that was like seven years old when joke, that was five years old, but it worked. And now it's like, okay, you've got to like infuse the present moment. 1 (27m 40s): Like you can do your old jokes, but they have to be through the filter of like, what's going on now, a roster. You're going to seem like out of touch, you're going to do a set. People are going to be like, how is she like living under a rock the last nine months? And sometimes that's good, like a mega event. Like this forces you to update your shit kind of in an organic way. Cause you know, maybe there are a fresh feelings and fresh jokes and fresh observations that you've been making and that will help to inform your set. But as far as like my writing process, it's like, it's never linear. It's never regular. I'll get like, I mean, if I was like being a good, perfect comic, I'd have no book with me at all times. But what I will do is I'll write in the notes section of my phone and I'll write down like really half an idea or like write a punchline and then I'll build a joke behind it. 1 (28m 30s): Or you, you know, it's weird. Like you get, and I have like an add brain, which I used to take like a ton of Adderall four, but then I would like crash and feel weird. So it's like, it's a weird sometimes chemicals or drinking or we can help a creative person. Cause you balance out the anxiety. They think that I think inherently comes with being creative. So it's like sometimes I'm into that stuff. Sometimes I'm not sometimes like, I'll do like a CBD, which is just calms down like my body. But it's, it's funny. Cause like the special events, like the Christmas party where the fundraiser, whatever it is that it is like the real push it's like, all right, well, this thing is the next week you've got to get your set together. You have to like, get your shit. You know, this is especially if it's paid, you're like, I don't want to go up looking like an idiot. 1 (29m 13s): And then all those people like, remember your name and think that you suck. So that's always a good push to, to maybe write some new stuff or at least get a specialized set together. And I think the big shows are motivating like that to like a headlining set really makes you reevaluate. Okay. First of all, like even at this point, like today is December. It's the only cause I have I'm headlining January 8th. You're like, okay. You know, it's not like how I used to be working. I could just get up with like kind of no preparation and just do an hour. Well now it's like, Oh my God, I have legitimately forgotten about jokes. So it's like remembering them, recalling them back and then updating them with like today's lens or whatever. 1 (29m 54s): And then sometimes like, well, Twitter really helps, helps for writing too, because it's like, you're writing tweets. Like sometimes they're just observations, but I always try to like, alright, make them somehow funny. So I have to remember to occasionally go through my Twitter and see what's a joke here. What can I pull out? Yeah. Some people like will just sit down and like, I'm going to write a book for an hour or two hours every day. But I was never able to get into that habit. Cause I always had a nine to five job. So it's like even, you know, people are like, Oh, you can just write about your job. It's like, no, always depending on the job, you don't really have a lot of free time. Like I was never really working in jobs where I felt like I could take a lunch hour. It was always, you know, it's like this frenetic, New York city job, energy of everyone's just crushing it and hustling and nobody leaves and that's just the office culture. 1 (30m 42s): So for me, I wasn't able to like right. A lot with these different jobs because I would just focus on trying not to get fired. So like sometimes on the train rides I would write, it's like, you're just, you know, and I'm not super, like, I didn't have like a great study skills in school. So it's like, yeah, the comics that are more disciplined, it will be like, I'm definitely no matter what I'm writing for an hour everyday. And maybe that helps more when you're first starting out, it's like, I've been doing it 10 years. I know my voice. I know the kinds of things and make cracks at. So it's almost like you don't have to homework it as much. You can sort of just like throw it together. I don't know if I'm explaining it well, 2 (31m 21s): Where you are. I wanted to ask, do you have to practice in front of like smaller groups of people live or do you not really need that? Because I feel like our execution, even a zoom call is going to be different. So like maybe, I dunno. I just feel like that would be really hard to know if something is going to hit or not. 1 (31m 39s): Oh yeah, it is. Cause it, and you have no idea and it's, there's no way to really practice for doing a zoom call. If, especially if it's for like a particular company or group, you're just like, well, let's, let's see what the hell happened. Some things I said, bombs and some things went really great. And just like with a regular show, you kind of, as far as crowd work goes, like, you never really know what's going to hit and what's not. And it's just like, that's the thing. When you risk being funny, you also have to risk, like not being funny. And 2 (32m 7s): So I'm super introverted. I'm very shy. I'm not bad at public speaking. I'm actually a pretty good with like larger crowds. But if they're more intimate is when I get nervous. But public speaking I think is a lot different because like everyone's knows what's on the docket. You're all in there together. Like there's already this expectation. And usually it goes swimmingly as long as you're prepared. But with comedy, like the patron, like, I don't know what you're going to say. Like I, I'm assuming you're going to be funny. I want to show up. I want to have a good time. So like that's there and that's good. But what if like tastes 1 (32m 40s): Are different and then like the room is silent. Like, 4 (32m 43s): Because I would just want to curl into a ball and run 1 (32m 47s): The stage. You do. Like, my go-to thing is like, it's almost like how would you charm somebody in real life if it's like a first date or not an interview, but a friend or I guess think of it as a first date. Every show is like a first date. And you're trying to charm, not just like one person, but like this whole crowd of people. And for me, it's like, my go-to is probably sexual innuendo and like getting someone to like you, the quickest way to do that is to like charm them. It's almost like not like you're hitting on a whole bunch of people, but kind of. So I find with couples, it's like, you have to know about the little dynamics that are going on. Like if there is a couple and I just know from years of doing it, a guy and a girl, the girl is not going to be entirely focused on me because they're a little bit watching their, their guide would be like, Oh, is he checking her out? 1 (33m 35s): How funny does he find her? Oh really? Oh, that's interesting. Oh, she's really funny. Oh, you think she is great? You know what I mean? So it's like, you, you know, that that's going on. And like a few years, you know, I would dress a little bit sexier, more cleavage because it was fun and it was me, but I'd be like, Oh, okay. If you're doing that, it's almost like, you know, you don't want to have like the women with their husbands or boyfriends in the audience, like automatically fucking hate you. You know what I mean? As soon as you get on stage, not that you have to dress like the garbage can, but like keep that in mind. So like, what I'll do is like, I'll dress nice, but I'm not dressing. Like I'm trying to like get Dick on for these shows. And it's almost like I will be self-deprecating right off the bat. Like, I'll just talk about the ways in which like I'm weird or like where all the oral mentioned having a boyfriend off the bat, or I'll just mention the ways in which I'm like, in a sense, like not a great catch, you know, like, ah, I've slept at all these guys. 1 (34m 26s): I have no standards. Like the idea that like, you know, whatever, and there's a punchline. You kind of like make yourself vulnerable, take your be, self-deprecating take yourself down a few notches. So that, that girl is not thinking like, Oh, okay. She's not, it's weird. Like you wouldn't like, I've never going to pick. Even if I were a single, I would never like pluck a guy out from the audience. I'm going to fuck that guy. It's like, it's more like if after the show you're all hanging out and things happen, whatever, but you're never scanning the crowd being like who who's next? But I get it. It's like a woman I've gotten jealous it with my boyfriend who, it's a normal thing. It's funny. And that's something that men don't even have to think about when they're on stage a male comics, they can just be them. 1 (35m 7s): It's like, if they come off sexy grays, they come up with the money that they can just be then because no dude is going to feel a way about a, a comic. Probably not. Because if they're making your girl laugh, they're probably also making you laugh. You know, unless they're like this gorgeous man. I mean, there are a couple of like gorgeous male comics and, but they also have to be like pretty damn funny. I think it's harder to be a really good looking guy comic than it is to be a really good looking girl comic. Just because the stereotypes people have, you know, cause most people know like guy comics are fat or they're ugly or they're short and they've, they've got a funny look or something and it's almost like a, like a, like a good looking guy comic. It has to overcome that. Like they've gotta be even more self-deprecating or even it's interesting. 1 (35m 52s): It's like you have to like assess yourself and then level yourself out so that the crowd can like you and nobody's sitting there going, Oh, look at this fucking guy. He's funny. He's Hi like, why the fuck? Why should I laugh at him? You know like that. So funny. I hadn't ever thought of that. I can't really think of, I mean, I don't know a ton of comments, but I'll have to do some race for it. Yeah, it is interesting. So it's like part of that is knowing what people are thinking of you and, and knowing how you come off, which sometimes takes a few years. Not that you have to like tweak your image and, or dress away. You don't like to dress. Like I remember one time this lady, her name was Gladys. She was, she's like a comedy icon. 1 (36m 32s): She had her own room. Like she mentors people, she and her and I, we have like a decent relationship now. But I remember there were a few years ago. She told me, cause that was, I would wear dresses and skirts on stage all the time. She told me that I needed to wear a jacket that I don't know if she said with shoulder pads, but she was basically explaining like Ellen in the nineties or Ellen in the eighties, what she wore like onstage to do to stand up. And I was like, okay, I'm not wearing fucking pants and a jacket. But she was basically saying like, that's what you need to wear to be respected. And I just was like, Oh, and I know what it was advice coming from a respectable source. But it just, it wasn't hitting. I was like, nah, that's not for me. And I'm glad I didn't listen to it because I wouldn't have felt like myself on stage. 1 (37m 15s): So yeah, you always, you always are taking that risk of not, not only not being funny, but just being unlikable for any of those reasons. So you have to just think like, how would you charm these people and how to you it's interesting. Cause like there are some comics who don't care if their life we were just like, fuck you. And then, you know the tough, but like I, I do care about being liked, but I also care about like, it's, it's my job. Like everyone's a good time is my job tonight. And you have to just turn it on. Even if you're not, even if you wake up that day that night and you're just not feeling it. Or even if there's shit going on in your own life, you have to just get it up. You have to get there, like, it's your show. 1 (37m 57s): So if people are paying money to have a good time, so it's like a few like totally bomb. Is that like, like one of your worst nights? Like how, because if you're sharing so much of yourself with a group of people that it's, it's got to feel similar to them just saying like, they don't like you on a personal level. Oh yeah. Yeah. How do you, how do you disconnect that so that you don't feel like shit after the fact and sometimes no matter what you do, you're good to feel like shit. If you feel like you bombed, there's nothing, you just have to, that's the thing you just have to get up to the next day or the next time. And like you're only as good as your last set. It feels like for some comics and like, but also doing badly is, is a powerful motivator. If you crush it all the time, you're, nothing's pushing you to work on anything. 1 (38m 40s): Nothing's pushing you to listen back and be like, okay, where did I lose them? And that set sometimes just the acknowledging that a joke didn't land is enough to get the room back. No. So if I like I'm talking, I have a, like a 10 minute bit about getting waxed down there and which usually always does great. But if, if sometimes a line doesn't hit or it's an older group of people and it's people who've never had anything wax or they're not even, we haven't even looked down there in years, you know? And I'll be like, Oh, I'll be like, yeah. Okay, okay. If you guys want to stop hearing about my coach, you know, I'll just acknowledge what's going on, which is, they're not feeling this topic or me right now. So who is such a good example of this, that so much so that she's weaved it into her regular set is Jessica. 1 (39m 24s): Curson like, if something doesn't get our reaction, she'll actually turn around with her a migraine, but you shouldn't have done that joke, Jessica, you shouldn't, we were practicing it and you're in a room and, but they just don't like you, they just hate you. And you're just going to have to go home and eat a whole cake, like do that for four minutes. And that's why so many other bits are like that, that it's, it's just so damn funny. It's like, that's the inner monologue of a comic, like, all right, they fucking hate you. Like, let's get them back. Like, we're going to be like, Oh, I guess you guys don't at all on to talk about politics. You know? And it's like, I don't really have a ton of political jokes, but I, I did have a pretty decent bit on like Melania Trump. And that would be, and that's how I would set up. Like, I don't know, I'm not really into politics. 1 (40m 6s): I mean, I'm more into it now than when I wrote this joke, but Leilani is kind of not really a super controversial figure. And I would compare her to like an indoor cat and I would do kind of like a Russian accent for her. So that's the way to kind of get them to like you, cause I'm like, I don't take this seriously. I don't care what side drum, but we can all get it the behind the fact that Malani is like a little bit of a space cadet, you know, and just finding ways to like warm up to the group and you're finding out like, Oh, if you mentioned Mo Malani are the trumps or any where anybody in politics at all and they tighten up, well, then you're like, okay, politics. No. Okay. Let's move on to maybe relationships or if they have kids or finding another topic. 1 (40m 49s): So it's almost like you have your crowd work and then you've got a word bank and it's all your materials. And like a perfect set is like a weaving of the crowd work and what's fresh. And what's brand new with like, Oh, I'm talking to this couple, they've been married for 10 years. Great. I'm going to go up and grab this joke. Oh, my longest relationship was like four inches. And then you throw that. And so it's like, that's, to me, like a perfect set feels like it's a, like a brilliantly orchestrated ballet, a dance of finding what's fresh and then taking what's old and throwing it in a way, like just you're weaving this thing that feels very personal to this crowd and in it. And it is because you're not going to say that same crowd work for even the next night or even for the late show. 1 (41m 33s): You're not going to have the same exact set, even though you will have similar bits, like in your word bank, that deal. And some things might hit on the first show that don't hit in the late show or vice versa. And then the, then there's certain jokes that work better with a lay crowd because they're younger and they'd stay up late and maybe they're, they are into more like the sex stuff or talking about drugs or whatever. And then, but these are the things you learn over time over the years, like, okay, the earlier crowd, they're older, you probably don't want to hear about a coach, but maybe they do. It is like ultimately being okay with, with bombing and no matter what happens, like, okay, like, listen back to your, listen back to your set, figure out what went wrong. 1 (42m 17s): But any show that I go into feeling prepared for, it's almost not that I don't care what happens, but it's like, okay. As long as I prepared and did as much as I could before, like listening back to sets or writing things out, or like you have a big headline and gig. Okay. Trying to take a few smaller gigs leading up to it. So you can practice that five minutes, that 10 minutes of 15 minutes, and then you build on that. So you're like, okay, if, I mean, when things were normal and if you get up in New York city, several times a night, you could easily work out your hour in 10, 15 minutes chunks, and then you just put it all together. And then if you take onstage with you, like one little card and each word is a different rant, and then there you go. 1 (42m 59s): And that's how you prepare. Or they're like untouchable jokes. Cause I feel like comics have always straddled that line of what's okay to joke about. And what's not okay. And I feel like that line just keeps moving, but a lot of the more popular ones are the ones that are like too big to cancel, kind of say like, fuck that I'm going to laugh about like Ricky <inaudible> is great. Like he is constantly wanting to fuck off. Yeah, he's great. And I love that question because it depends on the comic and it depends on the subject matter. And it also depends on how famous they are because sometimes the more famous somebody gets, like they may like a lot of people use Amy Schumer as an example and ah, a lot. 1 (43m 41s): That's what I I've heard that a lot, people like, Oh, don't end up liking mushroom or don't. And I'm like, what is that? What happened to her? So she and I, and I talk to a lot of comments about it is I guess she started out her comedy was one way and she would make fun of herself and the topics she used almost like she was cool and self-deprecating, and like somebody you'd hang out with, and then the more famous she got, she got more political, she got more woke. She got more and I don't know, whatever anti-gun or more like very, very like left wing a lot, a lot of you'll hear a lot of complaints like, Oh, well then she became unfunny. That's what I've heard people say about her. And whether that was just her organic growth, like if it was great and nobody should judge that. 1 (44m 26s): But if she did change herself a certain way to be more appealing for a certain audience, or like she's not doing that would get her more fans or maybe that looks better in terms of Hollywood and getting cast for more like movies and stuff. It's like, I understand people's feelings on that because they feel like, well, they knew and fell in love with one person and now you're different. And they feel almost like, I dunno, it's like an icky feeling, which I understand 2 (44m 51s): Happened to Chelsea handler. So I used to be like a really big fan of hers when I was in high school. And then she just had a, what do you call them? Like when you get on a special, yes. She just had a special come out and I saw the clips of it and some of the stuff that I was like, Oh my God, I don't want to hear like your woke BS. Right? Like I'm here to laugh. I maybe that's me being sensitive because the jokes were obviously like against that were moderate or conservative or whatever. But I'm like, it's just, it's bullshit. Like there's enough of that. Right. And I just don't think it's okay. 1 (45m 25s): Funny. And this is the thing is like, you can that's has to, what you're saying is how so many people feel. And if you're, if you're noticing that somebody is too political and I would say no topic, no topic is off limits. Like there is a way to make every topic funny. It just depends on if you can pull it off or not. So like, I mean, I know this girl, Christina Hutchinson is she's like I have, I have this rape joke that the data and the rape jokes is about how much you spent on college. And that's my rape joke. And it's like, so there is no topic. That's, that's really off limits. But if, if, if someone's takeaway like, Oh, that comic was too political, that doesn't mean you can't be political. But if you're more political than you are a funny, it's going to be a net political set or that that's going to be the crowd's takeaway. 1 (46m 8s): But it's like, you have to be, you have to get just as many punchlines as you are points. It's not that you can't say anything important or talk about what you believe in, but it's like, it's God, you have to keep it kind of equal. You know what I mean? That's why a lot of people will complain about like female comics. Cause maybe they talk more about sex than they make punchline. So that the key takeaways are this chick is to sexual blood. That's how all female comics are that's, which is 2 (46m 34s): Crazy because a lot of male comics are wildly sexual. But I guess just because 1 (46m 39s): It's a delicate, it is a double standard is like a little bit of that old school traditional. Like there are some men that just don't like seeing women in that way, because just some ingrained stuff, which is, which is like fine. So you've got to do the jokes that you like, that ring true for you. And like, yeah. I mean, if you do something and it bombs every time, like yeah. Maybe move on, maybe factor it out. Yeah. That's the thing to deal with too is like, people feel like, Oh, they, they get to know you or you, you blow up with one persona and then you change over time. I'll show you like go Hollywood or a year, like just trying to appease certain people at the top instead of like, forgetting about your fans and being like, no, you're no longer like accessible people. 1 (47m 22s): Don't like that. Which I understand. 2 (47m 25s): So do people, so you do get a little bit political, especially on like your Twitter. Do people advise against 1 (47m 30s): That? Or is it like when she stopped? That is interesting. Cause like at this point I'm not going to take the advice from anybody unless I admire them. So that like, when you keep that in mind or, or like somebody who is doing better than me, like I'll listen to that person. Or, or if somebody has a career that I'm envious of. Yeah. Or like a work ethic or what they're doing great. Like there's a difference between like, if Joe Rogan gives me advice versus like this comic who booked me on a show once who has 2000 followers, it's like, okay, let, like, I'm going to probably listen to the guy who is crushing it. And so it depends too. And the people close to you. I also feel like, can you give me advice? Like, like my boyfriend knows my comedic voice in my brand. So it's like, I'll trust his advice if he feels like I say, or do something that's a little, like, not so great or whatever. 1 (48m 16s): But usually I just like, when you get to be at least 10 years in, it's kind of like, Oh, like, it's almost like you're kind of on your own. Like you're, you're, nobody can kind of tell you what to do. If you're, if you're like gaining fans, gaining followers, you're productive. Or if you're moving up, it's like, then you kind of, don't really have to listen to anybody else. And I kind of feel like that's the direction I've been moving in this year, which is amazing. Like despite all the lockdowns and the bullshit, like my podcast is taken off and like, I've, I've done as much standup as I could. And I feel like, Oh wow, things are clearly growing. I'm not that I I'm in this place of like, I don't have to listen to anybody because I am still very open to criticism, no matter what's going on. 1 (48m 60s): And I'm also somebody who like, will self-deprecate and be like, Oh, I'm not shit. I'm not doing well. Like I stuck, you know, I definitely have figured out like, who is worth my time and who's not. And sometimes if I do tackle a subject, that's like triggering. Like, I mean, I was joking about Chrissie Teagan's miscarriage. She had a very public miscarriage. I think it was this summer. I was making jokes about it. I was like, Oh, my mom had two miscarriages, but she did it the old fashioned way, like without a doubt, without a photo shoot. And I just made a couple of jokes about that. And I ended up, like, I thought this girl was my friend, apparently nines up, like kind of losing a friend over it. She was like very triggered. I mean, I assume it's because she had some kind of a miscarriage. 1 (49m 42s): I don't know what else would explain it. And she just got so mad at me. How dare you? And I was like, these are jokes. So I'm like, I didn't make these jokes at you personally. But like people get triggered by what they're triggered by. And she kind of was just like done. And I was like, Oh, that sucks. That over a joke, over a couple of tweets, you know, but then, you know, okay, this person was not really a friend. If that's all it took and it's not like I'm saying them to her, they're just like jokes into the air. But then I kind of realized like, Oh, I'm not going to take it down because then what does that mean? Anybody who has a problem with a tweeter joke? Like they just get to take away chunks of you until what's left. You know, if you have to kind of like, remember yourself, like I had this girl who, from the beginning of March, I put out this parody video call, it was like called Kung Fu fighting or something. 1 (50m 34s): And it was a parody reaction to gala dos. Imagine a video she had like, I don't know if you remember back in that it was like, imagine that there is no. And it was like, every celebrity did a line and it was like so lame. And it was like so much virtue. Signaling is like clearly not authentic. So I was like, okay, let me get me. And some of my Comedian friends together and we'll just sing a line of Kung Fu fighting. And I said, you can sing. You could say calm, flu or not. It doesn't matter. Cause it was like a trending hashtag at the time. And so it was like everybody was Kung flu fighting. And we were like Sirius and we just sang a line and it was funny. And I got a ton of shit for it because people were like, if you're a racist against Asians, you know, there are idiot people who thought that I wrote the lyrics to this song, Kung Fu fighting and like, no, that sounds round since the seventies. 1 (51m 23s): Oh boy, I'm going to explain that to people. And then everybody did it. It was like, you know, funny, great. Had a good time. Fast forward to December this month, I had a girl who had like a teeny tiny part in that video suddenly hit me up. Like you have to take that video down. I have this radio job now. I don't want them finding out about this. Or, or maybe they did find out if she has she's all of a sudden had a huge problem with the fact that she was in this video of mine. And this is a person who like Beggs to be in it. Like she had missed my deadline because I was editing it together. She missed that. And she was like, can I please? I was like, sure, just send yourself in doing like, Oh, you know, like the end of the council's writing a song. 1 (52m 6s): I was like, sure, send, send that into me. We'll make it work. Well, we'll stick you in. Which is like, Oh my God, thank you. And she, you know, I had explained to everybody exactly what it was, here's the parody. Here's what we're trying to do. So everybody knew what they were getting into, but we fast forward this girl. Now she's got a radio job. It's December. Oh, I didn't know what I was getting into. And it's like, you it's like, you're full of shit. I pull up the text and I'm like, she knew exactly what she was getting into now. What did she miss the deadline? But she like enthusiastic. We like went out of her way to make sure if she could still be in it. And then for a second, you're like, Oh no. And then she's like, she threatened to Sue me to have this thing taken down. And I was like, well, what the fuck is that? It was like, you know, it had been taken down from Instagram because somebody called it hates beach and it took a couple months for it, but we'll get the shit. 1 (52m 52s): And it's like, I think it was still on Twitter and YouTube, but this is also back in March. Nobody is Googling this check and this video, you know what I mean? Like it's like, this is old news, you know? And I was like that. I was like, I'm not taking it down, man. And it's like, at first it's like, it sucks. It hurts your feelings. Cause you're like, Oh my. But you're like, you know what? If you just bend over to every single person and that's the thing, it's not just regular people. It's not just random haters and trolls that are in this cancel culture. It's other comics that like really do try to cancel the things that you do. And all of a sudden this project that she was very excited to be involved with. Oh, now I'm going to Sue me. If I don't take it down for what it's like, she was literally scared over nothing. 1 (53m 35s): And like, if you lose your radio job over a random sketch you did in March, like, why are you in comedy? If any little thing you do could get you. And that's a thing it's like, that's an example of, okay, if you're in a job that you're going to get in trouble for doing comedy for maybe we don't tell them that you do comedy. But for me personally, it's like, well, I can't be just bending over backwards for every single person who wants to take something down. It's like there was 1517 people in that video, but one person, nine months later, you know what I mean? Like once it's, well, what about all of them that were in it that liked it, that wanted up. So, and that's like a getting older thing too. It's like, you're not going to make everybody happy. You have to make yourself happy for us. 1 (54m 16s): And, and like my lesson there, because I was always such a people pleaser. It's like, yeah, you can't people please, to the detriment of yourself, it's like, I'm trying to build a portfolio of work. I'm trying to like get sketches up and do things. And it's like, you can't take it down every time one person is scared and it has a problem. 2 (54m 36s): And that's the whole point of comedy, right. Is you're making fun of people and things. So if you just keep picking away at what's acceptable, you're going to be left with absolutely nothing gonna be left with knock-knock jokes. 1 (54m 47s): Right. Yeah. That's it that's crazy. And that was, it was disappointing because this was a girl that I would have worked with again, in the future. Somebody like, if I get a bigger writing job or a bigger opportunity to be somebody I would've considered for something. But then when that happens, when someone's trying to like Sue you over tit in that, like not taking that in a video, that's like, Oh, that sucks. Now our relationship is kind of ruined, but it's better. You know what category to put somebody in. And that's the thing with getting older, that the longer you're in a career, it's like you have your tight knit group of people that you trust and like to work with. 2 (55m 22s): So you said that you were into politics and like before, and is something that you slowly got into, I guess what triggered your curiosity? Was it since like situations like this where people are trying to police, like what you're able to say on stage or in skits? 1 (55m 37s): Yeah, it was for sure. Free speech ever since I got with compound media, I realized like, Oh wow, like you can, you know, I would just see people whether they were in comedy or not like get canceled or something they said, or a joke. And it's like, man, like that's what comedy is. We deal in stereotypes. Like stereotypes are real. Like they don't come out of nowhere. And that's why people laugh when you, when you like, even be like, ah, like this is a bad driver or they must be Asian. I mean, like if people don't laugh at that, I have nothing. It's like their stereotypes are based in reality just, and that's, what's kind of the great equalizer. And then you have some that we can make fun of trans people. Now they're the new protected groups. And it's like, fuck that, like everybody is equal. Isn't that? What are we supposed to be for equality? 1 (56m 18s): Which means that we can roast to everybody and make fun of everybody. So that's what really like lit a fire inside me. Cause it's like, Oh, this is like, of course it's a right. It's like a constitutional right. But it's also like a comedy right. Free speech. So I was like, Oh man, that can't be like this, our forum is going to suffer. I mean, it had, has suffered a little bit. People have to look a little stand-up is a dying art, whatever, everything changes, maybe we're transitioning more to like, you know, online and podcasts and sketch and stuff. And you look at somebody like Ryan Long. And he's such a great example of somebody who like, since the lockdowns just blew up because amazing. He found his comedic voice. He he's like regular with his content. He does good work. 1 (56m 59s): He's crushing it. So, but I'm sure there's people who've tried to cancel him as well. But yeah, it was the free speech thing that kind of woke me up and just an overall, like following the money, taking a closer look, the government like watching our rights, being taken away, steadily over the last eight, nine months. Just kind of like following the money and corporations noticing like, Oh, what news outlets are not talking about certain stories? Oh, because who were there connected to? Oh, okay. That makes sense. Like the Epstein was a big example of that. Like all his ties, you know, that certain news channels, we're not, we were just not talking about it for years until it was unavoidable. 1 (57m 43s): And then just with all the election censorship and the insane amount of censorship with Twitter and Facebook, you know, learning, you know, project Veritas to add a few. And I had them on my, a regular podcast, just learning about the, the explicit judgment. And like these content moderators on Facebook would be like a straight up deleting drain of hiding posts from conservatives or anybody who was pro-Trump and they would be happy about it. They would be boasting about it, you know, unlike the hidden camera or whatever. So it's like, Oh man, that's that, that doesn't seem right. That doesn't seem fair. It seems like all the censorship is coming from one side against the other and it's not equal. 1 (58m 24s): And even if you don't agree with the person, we should all be able to like say our piece and have a debate about it instead of having like facts hidden from us. So that was a big motivator too. And just like learning more like how things work and like what the powers that be like really want to happen. And, and now I'm just more kind of like really worried about the country and like hoping that we can like get it together and you know, not become like China part too. And I think that's what I started to do now. It was like with some of these protests that I've gone to, like rallies that have gone to in DC is like a merging of comedy. But also like I am carrying more about the stuff. 1 (59m 5s): So I will do live streams. I will do interviews. I'll do man on the street. I'll get to know people who really are at these rallies and protests, especially when they're not covered at all by the mainstream media. If they said that they was just a few hundred people at the million mega March is like, no, there wasn't, there was a 1.5 million people there. It's just like the, the, the MSM news crews they came like at six in the morning did their like shots. And there was just a few people there and they go, well, nobody came and it's like, that's for a reason. So I like being there to show people what's really going on. But also it's like, I will kind of talk to the crazy weird personalities around, because that way it's like, okay, then there's a comedy element there to like, I met this guy, his name is <inaudible> and he's super charged up about four skins. 1 (59m 49s): Like he's really passionate about everybody keeping there for skin. And he's like a wild man. He just like, I swear to God and he just, he looks like he emerges. He emerged from the bushes, you know, he's got these marker like drawn out signs that he, where is he? Where's like a sandwich board. He's got two sides on each side. He's like, you look at and go, that's fucking, he's a crazy man. That's somebody, if you saw a New York city be like, I'm not going to talk to that guy. But, but for me, I'm like, I'm going to go talk to that guy, got a lot of good points. And sometimes just listening to somebody talk is, is funny because you're like, what, how, how often are you going to meet somebody like this? And that's, what's kind of great about protests and rallies is that, is that these interesting personalities like really do come out of the woodwork. 1 (1h 0m 29s): And it's kind of like, there's comedic value in just talking to a kooky people, which I enjoy. 2 (1h 0m 35s): Yeah. Because you have to be really energized and passionate to be going to the one of those things on either end. Right? Like you're not just like, I don't really care. This is a really affects my life. Or like, you feel a certain type of way of that. So I'm sure you had a ton of good content. Yeah. It is fun. 1 (1h 0m 50s): It feels like an adventure. There's like, ah, let's try not to get stabbed. 2 (1h 0m 55s): I would be. So I'm too scared for that. I wouldn't be there. You do. I think Mayr 1 (1h 0m 59s): Walking around New York city for 10 years has helped to you just kind of like, I have a permanent, like head on a swivel. You can feel when people are kind of unsafe or sketchy. I think I have like good people skills and that way, but sure. Yeah. You never know what can happen. I I'll have like a pepper spray on me or something. I should probably take karate or Krav Maga to the trolley. Yeah. 2 (1h 1m 23s): Especially with your like political tweets nowadays. You never know. Oh my God. Yeah. We agree with her. Oh yeah. There'll be. 1 (1h 1m 29s): And rage Chrissy Tiegen fan. That will just jump out of the bushes one day and like hit me with a high heel. 2 (1h 1m 37s): That's another example of someone I used to love. And now I'm like, I just can't do that. I had to follow is such a phony. She's set up a fake. I know it's like embarrassing 1 (1h 1m 48s): Now. And I'm like, wow, about that. Me and my sister, we would be all about it. 2 (1h 1m 55s): Get in the Cosmo, pouring over it. We would be like, 1 (1h 1m 58s): We would do all the magazines. Watch, watch the Kardashians. Like watch a movie. 2 (1h 2m 3s): The Kardashians are like there. Okay. They're okay. They're, they're a bit 1 (1h 2m 6s): Business people. It's like, you know, they're growing up there that that's a hustle. That's a lifetime hustle that they're doing, which I respect. But like just, I don't understand getting into like real Housewives or just like mindless, mindless, like celebrity life, you know, absorption. I think most people are kind of like waking up to that too. It's like the regular people like you and I, there's not as much idolizing of celebrities anymore. Cause it's like, Oh, shit's getting real. Like you guys haven't missed a paycheck. You're doing good. Still. Like we're here like struggle meals. You know, like this is like my third day of ramen. So it's, it's kind of like the, you pop the bubble on celebrity and it was already moving in that direction is because people were already checking out of a word, shows people weren't really watching the more caring, less and less about celebrities. 1 (1h 2m 54s): But I think the final lockdown, especially with those couple of, you know, celebrity compilation videos that they did that totally didn't hit with anybody. I think that was like the nail in the coffin of like, Y why are we looking up to these fucking people? Like, 2 (1h 3m 8s): Yeah. Like there was that recent SNL Scouts. What's his name? P Davidson. Yeah. And he's like making fun of people that have an issue with the lockdowns. And like, you just got paid a fuck ton of money for that episode. Like more than a dozen people cannot buy food. Right. And that's the thing about it. 1 (1h 3m 27s): Like a celebrity being like rich and, or a famous, it affords you the luxury of being irrelevant. It's like, you don't even know how relevant you are. You also don't care because if you're like, I'm a peer I'm doing good, which is like, then you are putting a distance. It's like, maybe you're, you're kind of doing yourself a disservice as a, as a disservice, as an entertainer. Because as an entertainer, you connecting with the people you want to make the people laugh. You're like, I'm with you. We have the same struggles. Our lives are similar. But when you become a celebrity or you're Pete Davidson or like, well, you're now at, you're doing so well, you're out of touch. So it's like, you're like in a little hot air balloon floating away, you know? And then that gives a chance where somebody's scrappier and more like with the people to come up with them. 2 (1h 4m 12s): Good. Oh, that's a good perspective. Yeah, I guess. So are you optimistic that lockdowns are going to start loosening up or do you still see like a lot of comedy stores being closed and where do you see the future of comedy? Given the current circumstances? It's tricky. I think it is 1 (1h 4m 30s): After meeting Ian Smith, who is a co-owner of the Belmore. I'm actually wearing a shirt right now. He owns this gym in Belmar, New Jersey. It's called the Telus gym. He stayed over, but he is somebody that interviewed on my channel like a couple of weeks ago. And he stayed open since may. And he's like, he's just like, fuck the lockdowns. Fuck the mandates. I'm staying open. Like he does these, all the cleaning protocols, they take temperatures and stuff, but it's like, he's keeping his gym open. And he said like 80 something thousand visitors, no cases, you know, coming back to the gym at all. And I went there and interview him and I walked into this gym. 2 (1h 5m 9s): I was like, Oh my God, this place is amazing. The energy was incredible. They're always like good looking 1 (1h 5m 15s): Men and women like working, they look great. They feel great. It just felt good to be in there. I was like, damn, I got to start working out again. This feels great. And everyone was happy and doing their thing. And I was like, yes, this is like, this is like the normal world again. And he's like, yeah, he is like the gut and the governors. They have tried so much to like, they locked his door. They've welded it shut they've. I mean, he, they had to like sleep there for 30 days once. I mean, they've been through a lot. They've been arrested. They've had their business license taken away. They, they get fined like 15 grand a day for staying open. They're just not paying it. They're like, fuck it. Like we were, we put too much into opening this business. They opened it eight months before the lockdown. And like, we put our whole life savings into this. 1 (1h 5m 56s): We're not just going to like be bitches and go down and, and shut down because you say so, and, and their membership has tripled and they're doing great. They can't charge a membership, but they charge like for Merck and everyone in there is wearing the merge from the gym. And, and that's kinda how they stayed. And that was like, this guy really inspired me. And, and he was basically like, yeah, like other small businesses really have to do what he's doing and just be like, fuck it. And we all have to stand up together because I think the more the government is comfortable taking away rights and have, and taking on controlling us more. It's like, they're not going to just give that up because it feels good to them. It gives them purpose and power and it keeps them in business. Right. So it's like a thing it's up to us. 1 (1h 6m 37s): The people to like really stand up, open our businesses. Like just not give a fuck kinda the same thing with masks, you know? Like we don't have to just decide we're not doing it anymore. And it's like, yeah, they can arrest one person, but can they arrest a whole train full of people or can they arrest every single small business owner? So I think like he was a really inspiring guide to talk to you. And I think that's why it's going to have to like come down to, because if after eight or nine months you haven't realized that no amount of like obeying or being on good behavior is going to get us back to normal. Like that's not what's happening. It's like, it's, it's like, we're all kind of being called to like stand up and fight for our rights again, like 1776 style. 1 (1h 7m 20s): And it's crazy. Cause none of us had had to do that in our lifetimes, but I can't imagine, but going back to normal, like any other way, like, Oh, we're just done now. You know, like everybody thought after the election was over, things would go back to normal and they have, and I think that's, what's made the last remaining few people will be like, okay, what are the, what the fuck is going on? 2 (1h 7m 40s): I thought so too. And then it's funny. Cause like the conversation keeps shifting like first it was two weeks to slow the spread. Then it was well until there is a vaccine. And now I think the New York times did a piece that was saying, well, hold on. Just cause there's a vaccine. And just because you take it doesn't mean you won't catch. It doesn't mean you won't be asymptomatic. It doesn't mean you want to spread it. So we are not normal yet. So is it going to do 1 (1h 8m 5s): See what was the fucking point? Yeah. You still, you can get the vaccine, but you still to wear a mask. You still to social distance, you still have to do all the bullshit. So it's like, what was the point? What is the, and then you have people like 2 (1h 8m 16s): Andrew Yang suggesting a bar code for people to get the vaccine. 1 (1h 8m 20s): That is like some bill Gates, transhumanist shit right there. Yeah. 2 (1h 8m 26s): What happens to the people? Who'd say I'm not right. I'm not an anti-vaxxer. And I feel like you can't even have this conversation because everyone's like, Oh my God, she doesn't believe in science or what people get really on edge. When you talk about vaccines I'm vaccinated. My son is vaccinated. I'm not anti-vaccine. Yeah. Okay. 1 (1h 8m 44s): This is a, this is a different case. This is a whole separate thing. It's brand new. 2 (1h 8m 48s): It was kind of rushed and everything that I've ever put in my body like has been around for a very long time. Right? Like MMR shots, all of that good stuff. So I don't think that there's anything wrong with people that are like, let me just wait. I'm not in the dangerous group. If I get COVID I will be fine. 1 (1h 9m 5s): You'll pass it in one to two weeks. And in fact, the time that people are passing this virus is much shorter. When we first started out, it was three to four weeks. Now people are passing it and one to two weeks, which means it's getting weaker. 2 (1h 9m 16s): I know people that have had it and they were fine in three days. Yeah. Three days. Right? A lot of people. So like we own a couple of restaurants and one of our restaurants, almost everyone had it at one point. So we had to close for like a week or two weeks, something like that. But everyone that had it, like they were like, it felt like a mild flu and they were a good cause they're all like a young, healthy people. So if you're in that category, it should be your right to say, I would rather not do the vaccine for something that's not going to affect me. But if the vaccine truly is 90%, whatever effective, then you go get the vaccine. And if I get sick, I can't give it to you because you're vaccinated. So we just don't understand why this is causing even more tension between people when you didn't think that was impossible in these times. 2 (1h 10m 0s): So I don't know where we're going to go. It's really scary. It's really confusing. Am optimistic. And I hope that the American people have a little bit of a fight in them. They do kind of replicate like this man, like you said, his name is Ian. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And stand up for their businesses and their livelihoods and just their rights. But part of me thinks like that was such a distant memory. Like our forefathers that we were just going to kind of be okay with whatever we're told to do. And then we're going to lose everything that we are. Yeah. It is a very scary 1 (1h 10m 35s): Because they are trying to rewrite history. I don't know. I the longer I talk, the more, I sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist, but it's like if eight to nine months of this shit is not enough to wake people up and realize like, Oh, it's what they're telling us is not actually what's going on. 2 (1h 10m 50s): Right. And you can look at places like, you know, like LA that have never truly reopened. And most people, they are very liberal. So they're wearing their mask as soon as they step on their lawn. Right. Like it, that they're following up. 1 (1h 11m 2s): Oh yeah. It's insane alone in their cars when they're outside. 2 (1h 11m 6s): It's it's and they don't have that under control. Right. This isn't working. We have to do something else and it's not to say like, let's do a free for all and kill all the old people. Like that's not what I'm saying. Like there's got to be a happy medium and it doesn't seem like anyone that's in charge once that, or is entertaining that, or is trying to educate themselves on that. So it's how do we kind of force that hand as the people? 1 (1h 11m 31s): Yeah, I think it is by, I mean, there is a big, I'm not sure where this is coming out, but I know there was a big like rally or protest on January 6th, which I think is on a Wednesday, that's a big way that people can show up. And I think, you know, I think if you're not in a place where you're feeling like brave enough to open or reopen your business, it's like talking to people like Ian Smith at the Bellmark Jim, if you look on his website, I think he maybe is getting together like resources, like other small business owners that are open or other small business owners that aren't requiring masks. So like there are networks out there that I think you can find. And I think just talking to like-minded people, whether it's like following them on Twitter or a parlor or a different social media is like, just like sort of like building your crew. 1 (1h 12m 16s): Not that you have to isolate from like other points of view, but find people, people at the same values so that you don't feel so alone. So you don't feel like, Oh, well I'm the only one doing this, but what difference is it going to make? 2 (1h 12m 29s): Yeah. But sometimes it does feel that way. Right. Especially when you're surrounded by so many people that just want to follow the rules and not rock the boat. And they're like, you just wait, like you're crazy or conspiracy, whatever it is. And it's like, why we're putting these, these really broad labels on everything. Just because I have a reasonable question about what's happening right. In an unprecedented time, I should be able to ask the questions and be like, well, wait a second. Like, Oh yeah, we do restaurants and employ like 60 people. Right? Like they have livelihoods, what are they going to do? 1 (1h 13m 1s): Yeah. We just like, if you're the only people that are not okay with the lockdowns are people who are super rich. We have tons of savings who are like not feeling it at all. It's like the rest of us, like how could you not be fired up about this, this time? Like this topic. And it's like, and then there are going to be some people that are like, just going to be okay with everything until they're being taken onto a train somewhere. It sounds crazy. But it's like, that's how, that's how it happens. It's a little bit at a time. So before 2 (1h 13m 33s): Are we wrap up, do you want to tell the listeners how they can support you, where they can follow you and any upcoming projects you're working on? 1 (1h 13m 40s): Oh yeah. I'm going to be headlining at the end. Tanner's Ville New York at the Hilltop bar and grill on January 8th. And I have my friend, Amanda Gale opening for me, check out the wet spot on compound media, Mondays at 7:30 PM Eastern. And then also the Chrissie Mayr podcasts, which is on iTunes, YouTube, Spotify, SoundCloud, Tuesday through Friday. I have new episodes coming out and like just about four new ones a week. Yeah. A lot of big guests on there. If you follow me on all social media at Chrissie mayor parlor, Twitter, Facebook, even though it's dying and yeah, I have a Patrion to where I'll put like advance. Like I'll put, you know, if I have a podcast and it's like, I'm not releasing it till next week are a couple of weeks. 1 (1h 14m 23s): I'll put it out right away on my Patrion. So you'll get your, like all the new stuff there. Yeah. I think that's it. Thank you so much for having me on of course. Yeah. Thank you for giving me your time. This was super fun. Super fun. Thanks. Good seeing you. You too. I'll talk to you soon. 0 (1h 14m 40s): That's it for this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have the time please rate and review and you can always hit subscribe to stay up-to-date with our latest episodes. I hope to have you back.