#45 Dan Go- Fitness, Entrepreneurship, Living Life Without Regret

0 (0s): When you get your body healthy, that almost makes everything easier to an extent. And you know, one of the coolest things that we see is that a is actually the family effect. It's not just a business effect, it's actually a family effect. So with their families, they're noticing that when they're coming home, they're more engaged with their spouse, more engaged with their kids because they actually have more energy to get to that. 1 (25s): Hello, everybody, you're listening to Chatting with Candice, I'm your host, Candice Horbacz before we get started on this week's episode, if you want to support the podcast, you can go to Chatting with Candice stock com. From there, you can sign up for our patriotic count. We get early access to episodes and sneak peeks at future guests. Or you can click that little link that says, buy me coffee. Both things helped me out a ton. All have the funds are actually going right back into the podcast. So it's going to help improve the quality, get some advertisements out there, and hopefully start to scale this baby, a quick word from one of our sponsors. And I feel like it's really appropriate with the guests that we have. 1 (1m 7s): So I'm a huge fan of CBD. And this company called a Mura has a line that is called Liberty team. So this is theirs, their CBD line. They have these really cool heat, no burn gadgets with precisely measured out CBD, CBD flower, which is my preferred method. I just love the flower when it comes to the plant's versus the vape liquids and all that. So you have these really Sheik and sleek looking devices and you get the purest a version of the CBD. So we're actually going to be doing a giveaway with these babies. 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So now that all of my shameless plugs are through, please help me welcome Dan, Go, Dan, Go is the number one body transformation coach to entrepreneurs. He is the founder of high Performance, Founder dot com. He's got a, really a cool Twitter account. And I got connected with him with a couple of mutual friends online. So yeah, I hope you enjoy this conversation. We get into health, fitness, diet, wellness, parenting, all of that good stuff. So enjoy. I was, I was really stoked that you wanted to come on. 1 (3m 25s): Cause for the longest time I've been having a lot of requests for like a health and nutrition episode. And I think the way that women look at fitness and health is very different than the way that men attack that same issue. So I definitely want to be able to get it from both angles because that's obviously beneficial for everybody. And then I heard your, a new dad, right? 0 (3m 51s): Congratulations. Thank you. She's 13 months old and it's going fast. Yeah, 1 (3m 60s): We have a year and a half year old and it's like, Ooh, time moves different. 0 (4m 6s): Oh, wow. Is he is a he or she or a she or, and then M is he starting to walk right now? 1 (4m 12s): Oh my gosh. Running and climbing. Like, he's a very kinesthetic. So we finally got a mama like two days ago and then he says, I do instead of yes. So he says, I do mamma and dog and a ball. That's all we have, but that why's, he excels. 0 (4m 30s): That's awesome. We're a, you know, we're living in Costa Rica right now. So he's and his mother-in-law or, sorry, not his, but a my daughter's mother-in-law is Chinese and we're speaking English ease literally. Or she, our daughter Koa is just getting like Spanish, English and Chinese all spoken to her at the same time right now. So yeah, it is, it is. It's kind of cool. It's just, she's picking up, you know, it was just picking it up, not walking yet, but I don't think I'm in any rush for that to happen right now. 1 (5m 3s): I feel like one develops first. Right. And then that they kind of like sharpen that tool and then they move on to the next skillset. Yeah. Wish that I was a, so my dad's Japanese he's like from Japan and he liked her. So was so lazy about it. I was like, why didn't you give me that advantage? Because it's such an advantage to be buyer trilingual or, you know, as many as you can pick up. So for you. Yeah. 0 (5m 30s): Yeah. That's a, did your dad immigrate to the states find a chance? Did okay. Yeah. I find that with I'm with sort of like a immigrant parents, sometimes a, they want you to almost acclimate yourself too, the society as much as possible. So that means like even in my, a my household, we speak a dialect of Chinese called Fu kin, but they never, only when they were swearing at me, they would actually use the language, but they never taught that to us. And I, and part of the reason they did that, a they explained later on was a, they just wanted us to be as a Canadian, as humanly possible and to figure out the language thing later. 0 (6m 13s): Yeah. And then now that I'm here 41 years old, and I'm like, I wish she was a little bit more titer with them. Gave, gave me the second language, you know, stayed on top of it a little bit more, but here we are. We're all good. 1 (6m 29s): Yeah. It's a lot easier when you're younger as are most things to learn. 0 (6m 33s): Yeah, absolutely. I'm starting to realize that right now, just watching people, even like around me, just like learning to surf, this the such a difference between watching a baby, learn to surf and watching like, almost like this 50 year old man, it's almost like two different mindsets going, going into it. A and, and I've been talking about this with a lot of my friends. It seems like as you get age, the one thing that we have to a almost like fight against and be aware of is just this acclimation towards fear and then acclimation towards security. So, so even for myself, like I'm trying to push myself and not do the, not the, the, the old man thing and be like, oh, that's too cold for me. 0 (7m 20s): I'm not, I'm not going to do that anymore. You know? And, and that's how we kind of like, keep ourselves a young, you know, but anyways, I'm rambling right now. I'm rambling. We're, we're talking about health and fitness in the beginning 1 (7m 32s): With the mindset is a huge part of that. Right. And then I would say, especially when you like the family dynamic shifts, which is a very real, like turning point for most people like that, becoming a parent like that, nothing rocks you quite like that, like, that's one of the biggest changes that you'll go through as a human. So I think at first, I think it's really interesting that you focus on entrepreneurs because that's its own special mindset compared to like the average guy that walks into like a planet fitness. Right. Very different people. And then tackling someone who's maybe an entrepreneur and a new parent and they're married. 1 (8m 13s): So how do you start to kind of cultivate the mindset of, I need to prioritize my body when there's all of these other stressors coming at me. Right. Because let's say you are the main provider. So you kind of tend to put your career at number one priority because that helps provide for your family, which is truly the number one priority. Right. So how do you fit body in there? Cause that seems like a vanity project. It 0 (8m 39s): Seems like a van of the project, but when we can change the perception of the body from a vanity to a, almost like a mindset of performance, then in almost like we, it's almost like we switch up their brains little bit. So like when we take an entrepreneurs, they are dealing with almost like anywhere between nine to 14 hour days, depending on what they're doing. And they're also dealing with coming home and not having to deal with family, but raising their family after a long day of stressful work. And, and then at the, at some point in time, they're like, what is a solve for, why would I even try to get my body in shape in my counterpoint to that and what we try to get our clients to see and what they see when they start to get results as that health has the number one med effect on the rest of your life. 0 (9m 34s): So if you are unhealthy and you get your body into shape and you're doing healthy things like exercising, drinking, water, you know, eating a very clean whole food based diet, you actually see this next level of energy and performance. So when our clients actually start to see this, like they find themselves, they're not taking naps anymore. If you're not, you're not waking up with brain fog anymore. They're not, they're not realizing how much they were kind of driving the car with like this parking brake on, because a they'd been dealing with almost like low-energy and also a low confidence as well, just having to, having to deal with seeing their bodies everyday and not doing anything about it. 0 (10m 15s): So when you get your body healthy, that almost makes everything easier, to an extent. And a, you know, one of the coolest things that we see is that a it's actually the family affect. It's not just a business effect. It's actually a family affect. So with their families that are noticing that when their coming home, the more engaged with their spouse, more engaged with their kids, because they actually have more energy to, it's almost like get to them. And the second thing that we notice with them is that there are a family members are getting in on the hat, because if there's anything that we know about parents and dads, especially, is that there, the leaders have the family. So when they start hitting the gym, I've seen countless times when their sons and their daughters actually start going to the gym with them and they start eating healthy things and they start taking care of their bodies because the dad is doing it. 0 (11m 6s): So, so I, I look at health and I look at the fitness as almost like this thing that makes your entire life better. And if we can see it from that angle, then, then maybe it makes us more willing to like, do those things rather than like from abandoned angle. 1 (11m 20s): And if you're not operating, operating at a peak performance, like if you're a carrier carrying a ton of extra weight, or like you let your body go to a point where you start getting like illness or auto-immune issues, then I mean, you D you can directly see the effect everywhere in your life that you won't be able to work. If it gets so bad, you won't be able to maintain healthy relationships if it gets so bad. So I think we too often just write it off as I want a washboard abs and anyone who invest that time, doesn't care about their business, or is a neglecting their family. It's, it's all related. I think it's all about balance as well. So if you're out the gym for five hours a day, and then that's all you're doing well, that's maybe not a good idea if you have other goals, but it's kind of attacking it from like a healthy, a healthy perspective. 1 (12m 8s): I was curious. So when it comes to getting into fitness, I find like it's very easy to overdo stuff, especially if you're talking to entrepreneurs, right? Like someone who's just like a go, go, go kind of person. How do you prevent, I guess, like a negative relationship with that. So for me, what I see, and just from what I've experienced as a woman, it's, we T we tend to hyper focus on calories and we get a negative relationship with food. So we ended up actually eating foods that are worse for us and do more damage to our body, like diet, light, Splenda, all of these things, because that's just like really dated nutritional information that we were raised with. 1 (12m 50s): And then with men, we see men that would just want to be the next, like, you know, Schwartzenegger and they're going to CrossFit and destroying their joints, or they're trying to lift things that they just have no business lifting. So how do you, I guess, check that ego and then cultivate a healthy relationship with diet and exercise? 0 (13m 9s): Well, I think the first thing that has to happen is understanding our thoughts, beliefs, and how we approach diet and exercise, and the first place, because what this does is it almost like gives you a mirror into how people deal with their issues and problems. And I think that most of the time, and let's, let's talk about that just first, we can't necessarily switch up the diet and start eating clean and start eating high-protein and do any of this kind of stuff. Unless we actually get down to the root issues of like, why you are, why you actually eat so much in the first place, why is it uncontrollable? 0 (13m 51s): So the very first part is actually bringing awareness to that. So with entrepreneurs, especially a, or anyone, actually, a lot of people dealing with this so that they actually deal with the aspect of stress eating and eating their emotions. And a lot of times they want to get tactical about it. So, okay. I got the count, my calories, and then I got a cut out carbs. I got to do this and that. I got a fast for like three days, but what they're doing is they're taking like a tool and trying to fix a symptom where they're not necessarily going into the causes us to like why they do these things in the first place. So we actually have to see what these behaviors are, and we have to see what the underlying reasons that they're actually doing these behaviors. 0 (14m 31s): Right? So a lot of it is kind of like figuring out what those emotions are, bringing awareness to it and making sure that we're not necessarily going to eradicate it. I mean, that's never going to happen, but we want to set up a strategy where you're able to deal with it on a regular basis. Cause it will come. And then afterwards we want to make everything as simple as possible. So we do have a very, a boutique service. And obviously we've worked with it with the very specific clients that we've worked with hot, with a high achieving entrepreneurs. So what we do, it sounds so funny, but we try to actually make it the things as simple as humanly possible for them. So a lot of times you'll, you'll see trainers, okay, you gotta count every single macro and you gotta do cardio on your off days. 0 (15m 17s): And you gotta do cardio before your workouts. And you gotta do this in that. And they will like try to attack this problem with as much intensity as possible. But the reality is is that they're not in this fitness game. You know, they have a life, they have a, a family, and this may be like number three on the priority list. Right? So we try to actually make things as simple as humanly possible for them. So one of the things that we do is we try to line up their, their nutrition with their schedules, because a lot of times they're trying to like follow these like 16, eight fast and do all this kind of stuff. When the reality is, is that every single actually I had a client say this to me. It's like, what is my diet called with, what do you call the state? 0 (15m 59s): I need to know. And I'm like, it is your name die. Okay. Is Lance, this is the Lancet diet. Oh, okay. And I feel like everyone needs a certain degree of specialization when it comes to kind of like fitting things into their schedule. And we want to make the diet almost as easy as humanly possible. And especially with entrepreneurs and people who have a access to resources. A one of the things that we love to do is find a very simple way in which you're getting prepared food in your hands, you know, and the most convenient way possible, whether that's through cooking on your own meal delivery or even getting like a personal chef. But that, again, main thing about the diet is to make it a simple as possible. And to almost like set up in the environment in the way where it's going to be easy for your body to lose weight and to lose body fat and a sustainable way. 0 (16m 46s): That's not making you feel hungry all the time. And the same thing goes with the workouts. I like to tell my clients that, Hey, you didn't get your body out of shape in a month or a six weeks. So don't expect to get your body in shape in a matter of six weeks'. And also when it comes to the, to the process of wanting to build muscle and most entrepreneurs, they actually, a lot of them I worked with, they just want to lose like the gut, you know, that's all they want to do. And they just want to lose the gut. They want to feel some books. They want to feel confident about their body. And you want to feel like they're actually rocking this area of their life. So with the workouts, we make it very simple. We don't get them to do boatloads of cardio reaction, just get them to a two, just like walk. 0 (17m 28s): And it's just to do a very light, kind of a active recovery type of stuff. And then we focused on refocus on the Jinn and we focused on building muscle on the gym. And actually when it comes to building muscle on the gym, it doesn't really take that long. Either. It takes maybe like 45 minutes to an hour, three days a week. We don't want their lives to be interconnected with a gym whatsoever. That's my it's not theirs. And the general, when we're looking at the, the scope of what this person is dealing with, we have to hit it from an emotional angle. Okay. So why are we doing these things? And then we have to look at their schedules and be strategic about it and be like, okay. So a, when is going to be the perfect time for you to eat your meals, how are we going to get these meals prepared for you? 0 (18m 9s): How are you going to get these meals in your hands? And then we also strategize on the workouts, okay. When are we going to do these workouts? You know, how are we going to actually make sure we stick them as well and make this a part of your life that is almost like brushing your teeth. So we just get a really strategic and we try to specialize as much as humanly possible with every single client. And once they find kind of like what we find, what we say is like the natural rhythm of doing things, then it just makes things just really easy. You know? And, and a lot of it is like a it's it's not necessarily trying to fit fitness since you're actually, it's not trying to fit your life into fitness. It's actually trying to fit fitness into your life. Right. It's trying to fit being in shape into your life and not making it the whole idea of what your life is supposed to be about. 0 (18m 51s): So, so that's what we try to do as much as possible. 1 (18m 54s): Yeah. I think that's so important. And I think so I recently recently with having a baby and then like everything that was happening with the lockdowns, I wasn't going to work out with a mask on that was just something I thought it was a little bit silly breathing and you know, all of your go-to while you're doing something that, that demanding. So I left the gym that I was with for a while, and I love the people, but they were just being really tight with the restrictions. And I found a Jim that wasn't. So I went to that gym just so I can get movement in a while. I was waiting for things to kind of lift. And the problem was, it was one of those bootcamp classes. 1 (19m 36s): And I, when I signed up, I had told them when I, you know, I had a baby X amount of months ago, this is me first getting back into movement regularly since that. But they definitely didn't relay that. And they have so many trainers. There's no way to really do that. And they would push me so hard. I kid you not for the, the first workout I did. I was probably, so I have like two flights of stairs for my, and my house. Couldn't go up the stairs for like two weeks was an agonizing pain, probably still dehydrated. And they're like lift more. I lift heavier, do more reps. And I'm like, there is over a training, you know what I mean? It was the first, I'm not trying to go to the Olympics also when you do this and I can't work out properly for two weeks, you just didn't want the damage. 1 (20m 19s): So I ended up not going to that gym and just not working out until all the restrictions lifted because I'm like, I can't win here. And I'm so fascinated how bootcamps kind of still exist because it is, I will look over and there will be a 250 pound man next to me. And we're supposed to do the same workout. Yeah. That doesn't make sense. 0 (20m 41s): It's a, so all things considered, I think bootcamp's and CrossFit are, are almost like, I'm not gonna say the, the, the Bain, the fitness and anyone who was watching and doing those things, you know, that gets you a shape and more power to you. That's great. But when we think about how getting stronger building muscle and actually burning fat is, you know, when we think about the, the basic tenants of these, it's not actually about like, trying to like drive you into the ground as much as possible. It's actually a belt slowly building you up to where you're doing a little bit more than you did the, the day before and doing it in a way that's safe for you. 0 (21m 24s): And so I actually had this client, a New York times, best-seller guys just a fricking awesome. And he was doing CrossFit right before he met me. And he actually said to me is like our, the workouts supposed to be this easy. Right. And, and I was like, yeah, dude, like take your rest, man, chill out, go tweak, you know, go do your thing. And he was like, dude, that like after every single CrossFit class that he did exercise is actually supposed to be the thing that makes you like super energetic, but he found himself, he was dragging his feet. Cause they were just driving him into the grand. And in, in general, it's like, you can't, you can't really do programming for everybody. 0 (22m 5s): Like programing a workout. It actually has to be a specific, has to be individualized to the goals. And in general, when, when people invest in all the things say like, <inaudible> like that bootcamp or things of that nature, there are tying in this correlation that your exercise and how much you sweat is correlated to your results when the reality is, is that it is actually has nothing to do with it whatsoever. Yeah. And, and yeah, like workouts is that supposed to actually build you up, make you stronger, give you more energy and actually make you feel good and stuff like driving down your driving down your body, making a super-intense and then making you have injuries, you know, from, from one day to another and having these nagging injuries. 0 (22m 48s): So see, I'm not necessarily a fan of a bootcamp workouts whatsoever. Not necessarily a fan of working out with your mask either. I think that's like ridiculous. I think that's a, yeah. I remember I tried like squatting heavy with a guy with a mask on and it was almost like wearing those gas masks, you know, while you're trying to lift that. I mean, apparently supposed to be good for MMA fighters, but not necessarily good if we're trying to be normal people trying to get a little lifted. 1 (23m 14s): Yeah. There was a time where people were showing those compilations of people just like passing out. And I was like, I'm glad it's out there that people are sharing it. And I mean, you know, you're, again, people are to come at me and you can look at the other episodes. I'm all for wearing masks if you wanna wear a mask. But I think there is a line when you see kids passing out at a track meet, but so going back to like personalization. So there's this ad that my husband keeps seeing all over his social. He's like, I have to put my VPN on because like they're watching me. Cause he's like, he's been really trying to research like diet and exercise since becoming a dad. Like I always joke, like we both had gained weight during the pregnancy and he's hanging on to probably a little bit more than me at this point. 1 (24m 2s): But the new thing that we're seeing ads for are a fasting windows dependent on your body type. So there's like eight, six, four. And I'm just curious how much of that is like click baity. And if you were a fan of intermittent fasting or even doing like those 24 hour fast that I know some, like they tell a lot of women to do like 24 to 36 once a week, especially if you're a post-menopausal and how much of that is, 0 (24m 30s): I feel like a, all of these Mo like a good amount of these, these ads, like the thing for fasting for your, by the time, or just click baity a there, I would say a litter, highly B S there is no research out there that, and actually there's no research out there that actually says what body type you, you are actually that's, that's kind of like the thing that it's kind of like the most misconceived notion in fitness is that this person is this person's pudgy. So we're going to call them, you know, mesomorphic or whatever like that. And this person is this when the reality is, is that that actually has no basis in and a science whatsoever. I think that was done as a like, thing that started off as almost like a marketing and advertising or sales kind of a sales kind of angle, but a I'm not exactly too sure about that, but when it comes to the fast thing, what we know about it is, is actually it's actually not bad for digestion so that people have IBS or that people actually have digestive issues. 0 (25m 25s): Then it seems like doing anything from a period of like a 16 to 24 hours, four a fast is actually a pretty good four, your digestion, a apart from that, and that we're thinking about burning fat, if we're thinking about, yeah. Let's just say that if we're thinking about burning fat, there is nothing to say that that's a fascinating is actually better than a than caloric restriction. A there's nothing to say that that fasting is even good for the muscle actually. It's I find that fasting is actually a highly detrimental to, if you want to keep and retain, if not build some muscle. And in the thing about fasting is that it's just a really cool way to reduce calories from growing into your body. And I know we're talking about this and I'll drop in one more thing about fasting is that not many people talk about this is the fact that in a certain subset of people, when people fast, especially women, they find that there are a higher levels of anxiety when they're actually in prolonged fast. 0 (26m 25s): And I've seen this with myself. And another thing they don't talk about, say with like a fasting is when people fast, they have almost uncontrollable a hunger and appetite at the end of the day. So if they fast for like 24 hours that you usually see someone just like scarfing down, whatever a calorie is that they've, that they've stayed away from that entire day, like one shot. So it makes, it almost makes your appetite uncontrollable. Now it doesn't work for some people. It's great. Especially for like a people who are, who are trying to throw anything up at a wall to see if it's sticks, like a people who are a severely obese. I mean, like, you know, I would say try everything. Usually actually find that these fad diets like keto and fasting, they work really well for, for people in that subset because it gives a fast results and it gives them something that is very simple. 0 (27m 13s): And it also helps them lose a, a shit ton, the fat, you know, without necessarily having to work too hard. But for people like say, who are no, maybe like if they're 15 pounds overweight, maybe like your husband or people like us, we're, you know, we're sorted, we're, you know, we're pretty fit. We're where we want to be. Then fasting is one of those things that is not necessarily going to be beneficial from a long-term angle. And my whole thing is just like, as we get older, so I'm 41 right now. And as I get older, I mean, I'm just looking to get stronger and to build muscle in a very slow, in a sustainable way. And to me like the holy grail of, of body transformation, or just like getting healthy in general, it's just to drop body fat and to increase muscle. 0 (27m 57s): So, so with fasting in general, I don't think it's one of those and it actually helps you do one thing. It's not necessarily going to help you do the other a, when it comes to the diets in general, a lot of it is just super fluff and, and I do feel, and I do feel to a very large extent that I believe that everything has to be again, tailored to the person. And I'm not talking about like body types. I'm not talking about like personality types that maybe who knows, but the thing yeah. The blood type diet. Yeah. And it's like 1 (28m 30s): The most restrictive. So I'm like, I don't care if this will make me look like Jazelle because I wouldn't be able to eat anything. 0 (28m 37s): Ah, and, and the thing about those blood type diets is just like, it's just not accurate. I mean, it's not as accurate as we all think it is. And we're actually like something that I say about science in general is that we actually have advanced very significantly, but there's a lot that we don't know. So a lot of like the stuff that people are kind of like using single studies on it, just like pushing out there as like the truth a, there is still a lot more research to be done behind it. So, but yeah, I mean, like, I don't believe in eating for your body type. I don't even believe in eating for your blood site. I do believe in like, just keeping things as simple as possible and the tuning it to your lifestyle and, and you have a certain foods don't agree with you, then we're not going to eat certain foods, but, but in general, we try to keep things as less restrictive as possible and as more tuned to what they do already. 0 (29m 24s): <inaudible>. 1 (29m 25s): So what about when it comes to boosting testosterone? Because that's one of the really big claims of the M intermittent fasting is that it's supposed to help boost testosterone. Yeah. 0 (29m 34s): It's, it's going to be hard to boost testosterone. If you're limiting the amount of muscle you're able to build inside of the inside of a workout. So I think that, especially with like testosterone, I found that again just is foundational. So for me, I found the best testosterone, I guess boosting cocktail is number one. Let's not be fat know, or let's not be overly fat, right. Let's actually keep our body fats down to a, to a nominal level and do whatever you can with your diet and exercise to make that happen. Number two is to actually lift heavy weights and to build muscle in heavyweights is a very subjective term. It's just heavy, according to what you think is heavy. 0 (30m 15s): And then the next one is just time in nature, a time and the sun and making sure you're getting adequate vitamin D levels, just to make sure that, that it gives you that best environment to actually boost testosterone. And that's pretty much it, you know, I ha I think people, especially with like guys, you know, with, especially with testosterone, they look at it as like, ah, as almost like that's the secret magic trick and then like magic hack. So I dunno if your husband has been through this, but maybe you're heard a couple of the trends are like, yeah, man, like, what is the testosterone a doctor? And my team was like super low. And now I'm like on testosterone and a, you know, technically I have to be on the forever, but you're not, I'm a testosterone. My, my T levels are this. And, and usually when I see people like that and it's like, they have a new exhausted, the natural means to get there at all. 0 (31m 1s): So, you know, people were getting like testosterone shots that are not necessarily sleep, actually started sleep as a big one. So you're not sleeping eight hours a day. They're not hitting the gym and lifting heavy. They're not spending time in nature. They're not actually doing anything to diet down and get rid of the body fat. So they haven't even given themselves a chance. So there's actually taking exogenous testosterone too, to supplement it. It's a kind of like a fix a problem that that is actually needed to be fixed by work. And not necessarily by injections. 1 (31m 28s): I didn't know that sunlight and nature were a part of that calculation. 0 (31m 34s): So they do it in a very roundabout way. Right. So I'm not going to say like, okay, well, if you, if you get direct sunlight, then you're boosting sales from, by 25% or anything like that. But what time and nature and sunlight does is it actually helps reduce cortisol. So when you're reducing your stress levels and when you're, when you're spending time out in nature and when you're actually breathing in the Green's and doing some forest bathing, or maybe like in the, laying it on the sun, whatever it is, if the stresses, you, it lowers your cortisol levels. So that gives you again, like a better chance at increasing your testosterone. 1 (32m 8s): And that's your belly fat usually too, right. With men. 0 (32m 11s): Yeah. And it's that, and yeah, the belly fat, you know what we call it like Android fat. We find that when people have an enormous, like enormous guts and the enormous belly, and then that alone is going to severely hampered their, I guess, their efforts towards boosting testosterone. And, and if I were to simplify it, I'd be like, don't be fat gain some muscle, spend time out in nature and get your sleep. That's, that's pretty much it. 1 (32m 36s): And that it isn't like, like large muscle groups as well. Like that's also a way like, so do incorporating legs every day to some extent. Yeah. I, 0 (32m 45s): I don't know about legs every day, although that would be like so torturous and you have to be super masochistic. The one that, who like legs every single day had legs are like, the legs are like the band and my society or a bane of my existence. But when I think about the foundation, the exercises, yes, it is like the squat. It is the, the, this, the, a deadlift. It is the bench. It is a, some form of rowing is some form of overhead, a pulling. It is a, some form of overhead pressing and a, some form of hip thrusting or a hip hinging and maybe a single leg movement in terms of that, if the actually just focus on maybe those movements then, and actually just get progressively stronger in those, I feel like those would give you like the best, the, almost like the best environment to boost testosterone for yourself. 1 (33m 36s): Yeah. Because also with, when you start taking the, the injections as well, I don't know if, like, if you're trying to, to conceive is that kind of puts a hindrance on that. So I remember the, my husband's doctor was saying, well, we could put you on this, but we know you guys want to have another kid. And so, yeah. That's not an option for him. 0 (33m 56s): Yeah. It's a w I don't, I don't want to talk about your husband when he's not in a room and all that kind of stuff, but, but yeah. I mean, if he did, like, I mean, are you guys actually trying to get like kids again or try to have multiple, how many kids do you want? 1 (34m 11s): Two? I say two, but then there's like those really amazing days. And you're like, I can have a lot of kids' and he's like, he's like, canvas, we 2 (34m 17s): Need to tell that I do not want 10 kids. 0 (34m 22s): So we actually said, we actually said one, and then things are so going so good with a, our daughter that sometimes you'd give the eye to your spouse. You're like, Hey, maybe the thing about like one more, like a more, yeah. So, so, you know, you know, let's just say like your husband, he wants to boost testosterone a it's really just like, okay, well, let's drop the body fat bid, you know, but, you know, let's, let's actually do that. Let's just get the gym. And let's just, let's just kind of like keep things as simple as humanly possible. And we also have to consider the fact that when you have a kid, especially from a guys perspective to start a stroke drops. So there's just like a significant drop. 0 (35m 3s): It's a SaaS drone when you have a child. And I have my own theory around this as well. Right? So, so my theory is, is that people find there is a correlation between and the drop-in testosterone and having a child because of the fact that guys, when they have a child that actually just guys with guys in women, or, you know, whatever, whatever nouns you want to use, you know, but when they actually have a child, they're not getting sleep, they are not exercising. They are eating like crap because they're not getting sleep. And then this is the, to drop your testosterone. You're not going out in nature as much as you want it. You don't, you're not free. You, you basically have a kid 24 seven. 0 (35m 46s): So that's my theory. I think like what happens when you have a kid is like all the things that you are doing that were a healthy kind of go out the window, because you're trying to take care of this kid. You have to refund those. But then those are the reasons why your testosterone is actually a, 1 (35m 59s): Do you wanna hear the evolutionary biologist a theory? So the say that the reason that the dads a T drops so significantly when the baby's born is that essentially like in the caveman era is you, you would want him to like, stay and help take care of the baby and not like go out hunting and go out and try to find the next hot thing to spread the seed. So you kind of want him to be like a little bit calmer, a little bit more teams that he stays in the cave. Interesting. 0 (36m 34s): So that's the evolution that could be in the evolutionary thing, but, okay. So on 1 (36m 39s): Top of what you mentioned, because that also usually does happen as well. So now you're a double 0 (36m 44s): Major, the man, I don't know. I don't know. Cause even as like a guy and even as a husband, you know, it it's like a, its like that switch is still there, you know? And, and I'm going to say this, I don't want to get too in depth into this, but I'm going to say that, that it's like when you have your first child, I've I found that you actually get more intimate with your partner. And I think there's something to this as well. You know, I think there's something to that where it's like, you're, you're almost like born to procreate. So you're, you're gonna want to have like more, more intimacy with your partner and stuff that I've never heard of that theory before. 0 (37m 26s): I think it's, I think it's kinda cool. But then like when we're a caveman where we just like going all over the place and just like, you know, having sex with like different ladies and the, a call being a over the head and bring it back home, I could be totally wrong that like my evolutionary biologists, like not, not up to par whatsoever. Yeah. 1 (37m 42s): I don't think men tended to be monogamous. 0 (37m 44s): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 1 (37m 48s): The body's so weird, man. Yeah. Yeah. Like remembers from hundreds of thousands of years ago. And we're just trying to try and update it slowly. 0 (37m 57s): If you think about it, like we have the same brain, we actually have the same hardware from like 10 to 20,000 years ago. Literally have the same hardware we had the same almost pretty much like the same software. Maybe not depending on, depending on what people do with their brains, but yeah. Yeah. But we're, we don't have anything different, but I do believe the lifestyles changing. Well, I may not do believe, but it is changing, you know, even right now we're like sitting down having this podcast or the reality is like we would be moving, you know, we would actually be like out and about and you know, be hunting, maybe like doing whatever, but we'd be in constant movement. So it's like, it's like we have these a it's like we have this prehistoric bodys with this new age lifestyle and we're all trying to figure it out right now. 0 (38m 45s): I'll try to figure it out. 1 (38m 46s): <inaudible> and it seems like a simple recipe to kind of fix the ailments that we're seeing, which is a lack of energy and maybe bodies that are carrying a Le around a little bit of extra weight that maybe we've know shouldn't be, there is to kind of counter those, those changes. Like we know we're sitting on zoom for two hours or whatever it is. So maybe put in the extra effort to like go for a walk. And I think that's so important too, is you mentioned with your clients, is that something that you recommend even more than doing all this hard cardio because people don't realize how M how much you can destroy your joints from running, right? Like it might make you lose a little bit of weight faster, but walking can be just as good for you and has like, well, I would say are more longterm benefits because it's sustainable. 0 (39m 33s): Yeah. And with a, with blocking this one, the most like amazing forms of active recovery and a, just from an anecdotal standpoint, it's like, when you go for a 15 minute walk, your going on a nature, you just come back like a very more peaceful person. And I find that like, I don't get any of my clients to do cardio, at least right off the bat. Right. And I just don't even get 'em on the treadmill. And every single one of them actually about 50% of them are like, thank God. And the other 50% is dude, where's my cardio man. Like, you know what? And I do this, we're a very specific reasons. And it's because cardio has this law of diminishing returns, right? So the more cardio you do, the more detrimental it becomes your body. 0 (40m 16s): And the more you actually have to do it to elicit the same benefits. So for a guy who goes like a, let's just say like, if for a guy who was on the 20 minute run's first time running and he goes to a 20 minute run that does this like five times, and it does a four, like a full on like three weeks. He's going to find that he actually lost a good amount of weight just doing that. Then he loses the, the amount of weight he keeps on doing this. He finds that after like six weeks, the results are actually slowing down. They're not coming as fast. So we actually find, is that a yes, the up his car, the S the increase, the amount of time that he does it. And then what it, what that does is that also increases the chances of injuries in joints and almost a joint instability, because you are putting more pounds on your joints. 0 (40m 60s): You're putting more like, repetitions on that. So as you're trying, as you actually have to do more, your body is almost like needing to do less. And that's why I called like that the law of diminishing returns with cardio. It's like in order to elicit the same, like fat burning effect, you actually have to keep on doing more incrementally. You can have to keep on progressively overloading when the reality is this, that we don't have to use cardio to lose any weight or a, to burn off any fat. If you want to do it for the brain boosting benefits, I say, right on, you know, like you want to do it. You want to turn on your brain. I said, go ahead and go for a 10 minute, hit a goal for a 10 minute Hitt session. And, and that's one of the best ways to turn on your brain. 0 (41m 43s): But if you're doing a specifically for weight loss and to lose weight or to burn calories, then it's almost like fight is, you're just fighting a losing game. I find it. And you can get the same benefits that you get from cardio that you can get from walking, it's all in the distance. So if you want to do a kilometer, go walk a kilometer, instead of running a kilometer, it's going to be much easier on your body. You're going to get much more men. You're actually going to have just as much of a mental benefit than you did with the actual running and may take a little bit longer. Yes. But again, you're doing a solid for your body over the longterm, rather than trying to, rather than trying to trade off your body in order to lose some weight. 1 (42m 24s): So I guess, are those decisions also funneled through longevity? So like, that's something that's really a trendy right now is everyone wants to live to be a 130 years' old or forever and some places. And when it comes to like a marathon runners or like the Olympic heavy lifters, like that's not the recipe for longevity. So do you kind of a make your clients protocols based off of that as well, and like educate them on that? Or is it dependent on whether that's a goal of theirs? 0 (42m 54s): The longevity is usually, it's always a goal. A, you know, I've never met anyone. That's just came the means like, you know what a, I want to live this life as fast as humanly possible. It's like, yeah, everyone, everyone wants to stay here. So I look at it from a, an aspect of two things. So one was the, the quantity of life. So the length of your life, and when we get to the length of your life, a there's one very specific thing that we know is that a, is that if you're in a, long-term a caloric deficit, then you're, and you're doing it with whole foods, with nutritious foods, it keeping your weight down that actually gives you the best bet to, to living as long as humanly possible. 0 (43m 40s): Now there's the other thing, which is quality. So I, as you get older, what happens is, is that you just with it and you just, you just almost like fade. So it's on us, you know, I'm, I'm 41 right now, and I have to do everything I can to make sure I am keeping my level of a performance at a specific, as a specific level, add a level of that. I am a, that I'm very satisfied within that, understand that, you know, if you can actually do these things like as, as you're 41 or as a 31 or whatever age that you are, then you can increase that quality of life that usually old people, miss are not a whole, and a lot, I call them all the people, but the elderly, if they're, if they're elderly and they haven't worked out, they haven't exercise, they hadn't built muscle. 0 (44m 31s): They have done any kind of like a mobility or stretching. Then they are going to have a very uniquely different quality of life than someone who has been to the gym has been exercising, has been taking care of his body and also has been doing some form of mobility. So when it comes to the quality of life, I actually think muscle is that secret, right? Cause it is the one thing in our bodies that actually starts to dwindle by the time that we get that, by the time we get to the age of 30 and the starts to decrease, if we don't keep it up. And, and the thing is that it's not just your muscles, it's also strengthening your joints. You want to make sure that your joints are strong. You don't want to hit hip replacement surgery at like 65 or 70. 0 (45m 14s): You know, you want to actually have a solid body from a joint perspective and from a muscle perspective. And I think the more muscle you'll have to be Arnold, Schwartzenegger definitely don't have to be him. The more muscle that you have on your body, the more you're gonna be able to do a really cool stuff a as you age. And I actually do think that to a certain degree, it keeps me young as well. It keeps me young. I have this like, again, this theory where I think it's like stretches your skin and just like, it just like keeps it in a perfect place or whatever. But again, you know, there's just something to be said about just the, the weightlifting and being able to feel and look young. So, so again, if you want to live the longest that you wanna live, and I tell him my clients, it's all the time, it's find a way of eating that keeps you at a, a weight that you're very happy with, and that's going to be healthy and do as much as you can to build as much muscle as possible. 0 (46m 6s): And again, you're not going to be Arnold that you're, you can expect maybe one pound of muscle gains within like a 12 to 16 week timeframe, maybe even longer, depending on how trained you are. So it is more quality and quantity in when we get those two things going together, a man that you just see, those are those videos on a tic-tac and Instagram of like 56, 60 year olds doing like LCDs and stuff. And if I were to create like the best, the most perfect society, and I would almost want to have everyone geared towards that and just being like the most, not Jack, but the most fit a human beings as possible, no matter what their ages. 1 (46m 45s): Yeah. There's just a certain level of like mental clarity that kicks in once you are moving every day and it doesn't have to be intense, but just like moving with intention every 0 (46m 54s): Day. Yeah, absolutely. And we weren't designed to move, right? I mean, like if we're not moving our bodies, then essentially we're not doing anything to build a, and also protect our brains and a half a man. I always say this on Twitter every single time. I'm like, you know, Hey, the harder you work, your body, the better your brain is going to work. And then some guy on Twitter replies back, well, Stephen Hawking has something to say to you say something like the exception or whatever it is. And now I'm just like, okay, well, I always expect that. But in general, if we actually look at the, the bevy of research that we have right now, we know that there is a brain body connection. 0 (47m 37s): And we know that we were meant in, we are actually talking about this very earliest, like, you know, as humans, we have these prehistoric bodies that were meant to move that were meant to be a motion. So when we're sitting down and when we're kind of like being, having a sedentary life, it's almost like in the front to our brains. And there's a very specific reason why you exercise. And then you have all these crazy ideas and you have all these creative stuff coming out of your brain. It's because you are literally, it is like exercises, like the on switch for your brain. And it doesn't matter how you get a personally for me, I think you get the most ROI from lifting because you get your heart health, you get your lung health, you build muscle, you protect your joints. 0 (48m 19s): I just see it as like a win-win win as long as you want, as long as you intend to do a properly and with good form. And in general, it's just like, yeah, it's just set yourself up as, as much as humanly possible to, to be as fit as you can. Yeah. 1 (48m 36s): So have you played around with like any of these like trendy workouts or trendy diets and then done like blood tests to see if that affects like your biological age? 0 (48m 49s): Okay. The blood test thing I have not done, but I have done countless Texas scans. And, and for me, a lot of people go with the blood work and that's cool. I find like I'm a DEXA. And so a DEXA scan is like the most accurate, but the fence scan that you can get in the entire world, at least right now, you should never get your body fat tested by embodies or a, any kind of things that you have to hold onto. You want to get a proper DEXA scanner. So I have a, I have like poured over maybe hundreds of DEXA scans, a over the course of a, the last, like two or three years. And we found very specific things. So number one is when we're looking at a DEXA scan, obviously we're looking at body fat, we're looking at a lean mass. 0 (49m 34s): We're also looking at a other areas of your body. So you have this thing called Android fat, which is the, which is almost like the fat between your neck and the bottom of your waist, your trunk area. And that is actually the most active fat that you have on your body. So that's the most dangerous. And then you have a, your gyno and fat, which we don't really care about. It's kind of like the subcutaneous stuff. It's like cellulite. It doesn't have an effect on your health. It just looks at a certain way. And we also get into this thing called visceral adipose tissue, which is the amount of a highly active fat that you have in and around your organs. So by doing these DEXA scans, a we found very specific things in regards to a, in regards to the things that work and things that don't number one is a, we find that people are especially beginner's and people who are just restarting on fitness, like a people who haven't hit the gym in a long time. 0 (50m 25s): These guys can actually be considered rank a because they have this muscle memory that you can always gain back this muscle. So we find with guys that are beginning or just restarting that a, they have a very significant chance to burn body fat and gain lean mass at the same time. And a guy who was like, say a bodybuilder. Who's been in the gym a very consistently for the past, like 10 years. He's not necessarily going to be able to see that happen with themselves, but with a guy like he was just restarting and you can actually build muscle and burn body fat at the same time. It's very real. And we have actually seen this on our, a DEXA scans. We'll be seeing it with the scene with 57 year olds, which is ridiculous. Yeah. So we actually, a, I actually just did the interview with this guy and he is a client and he basically a 57 years old, he dropped his body fat by a factor of 30 pounds. 0 (51m 14s): Like we're saying pure body fat. And he gained, I think, seven pounds of lean mass and the fat in a span of about 16 weeks. And, okay, so there's a couple of things that are actually contributing and not the 16, sorry, 16, 16 with a yeah. So we find that, you know, that's just the beginning, we've, we've found that that happens a lot, especially with guys that we're just talking about. And there is a couple of reasons for this. A number one is a, we put people on highly like super high. I won't say super high, but I would say moderately high protein diets, because there's a, if there's anything that we know about protein, it's that it's highly thermogenic that's number one. 0 (51m 56s): And that also has the highest dietary and it actually has the highest dietary induced thermogenesis, which means it's like the most fat burning, I guess you could say. The other thing that we realized is that it actually helps you build muscle. So we try to line up our clients' diets with a, with actually a little bit more protein than what's that people would normally recommend. That's the first thing, second thing is we obviously clean the diet up. You're not going to be eating pizza's and beers and all that kind of stuff. We try to actually make their bodies as like a environmentally fat burning friendly as possible. And the other thing that we do is we progressively overload their bodies inside of the gym. We, we actually have a very, like, we have a three-day split for them, especially for beginners. 0 (52m 39s): We do less, we don't do more. And because we can do so much more with, with actually just like a limited amount of time. And then what we do is we progressively overload the bodies. We had them starting with a very basic weight and then slowly but surely by the time that they get to like the sixth or eighth week, they're doing more weight than they've ever done in their entire life, in the various Safeway. So, so we feel like those two things and the dropping of the, by if that the changing of a diet, we feel like these two things actually help them again, like drop body fat and increase muscle. And then the subsequent a blood work that comes along with it, it comes out all positive, especially with the last client that we were talking about and countless other clients, you know, we've, we've actually got them off of their blood sugar medications. 0 (53m 23s): A we've got some of the, some of them off their insulin and a, it actually with a, with that client that got him off a blood sugar. And we also got him off this heart medicine as well, but not saying that what we did was a, the thing that did it, but in general, we find that when their body fat levels are down, when they're a muscle is increasing, that actually brings out almost like the best bloodwork. And we don't necessarily have to focus on eating certain foods or doing anything. We just focus on those two things. Okay. 1 (53m 50s): So with those scans that you were talking about, is that something that anyone can go do or is like a, a special piece of equipment that they can buy or where can they access 0 (53m 59s): That the way they just go? So it's DXA and then they would have to pay for getting the scan. There would be anywhere between, let's say like 50 to $125 and a, they could just like, basically go Google and, you know, search out their city in Dexascan. And there's going to be someone out there that actually has a DEXA scan now would not say to a two to buy this. It's like a, I think it was like a few hundred with a few, it's a like five figures to, to get this a piece of equipment and you need that and you need a, a qualified health professional to, to do it because it's working with x-rays and all that kinda stuff. But yeah, if they start to the city, is there a, a DEXA scan? I feel like that's one of the best ways to, to actually assess you. 0 (54m 41s): And one of the most accurate ways it's like getting an audit for your body. And I recommend everybody now, 1 (54m 46s): Is there a specific window that's recommended for like age sex and like height, all of that. Is there like, like boxes that they kind of want you to ideally fit into, 0 (55m 0s): Right. Yeah. There's, I mean, you have your, they give you a, almost like the, the, the age and a, the, the new average of what body fat should be a, so, so yeah, the they'll tell you, like what body fat should be personally for me when I'm, when I'm dealing with, let's just say like a female client, I would want her body fat to be anywhere between 17 to 25% when I'm dealing with a male client that I want his body fat to be lower. I want his by a fat to be anywhere between, I'd say like 16 to 20%. And in general, I found that those are the ranges a re almost like regardless of age, that, I mean, if they're like 80 years old, you don't necessarily want that ratio. 0 (55m 44s): But again, for people between like say like 30 to 60, and that's a pretty good ratio of that be between yeah. Oh, fun. I want to go do that now. I'm going to look it up after. Yeah. We're okay. Sorry. A, where are you located out of Wilmington? North Carolina. Okay. Okay, cool. I can, I can help you find one as well, just to make sure you got a legit one. And then a, again, when you're doing this DEXA, obviously they're gonna give you the, the body fat, the lean mass, so that if you could get one that actually gives you the Andrews or actually the visceral adipose tissue, cause that's one that not a lot of them do. And then once you get that, then that actually shows you like how much of this dangerous Phat and you have on your body. You can actually a, you can actually test yourself again the next time that you get this text, that to see if it actually goes down. 1 (56m 25s): Oh, cool. So is there a relation to that visceral fat compared to like that trunk fat? Like, is it possible to have a lot of trunk fat and zero visceral fat or a very low, a little visceral fat? 0 (56m 38s): No. Well, actually, so what they give you is almost like a calculation based on your Android region, right? So this trunk fat right here and, and know it, if you have like a, like a huge belly you're in, you're not like a, the world's strongest man, and you have this massive belly than it is a, that is a correlation to having increased visceral adipose tissue on your body. Okay. So they do go hand in hand. Oh, for sure. A belly fat and the belly fat and the visceral adipose tissue are, yeah, they're two peas in a pod, and those 1 (57m 13s): Are usually related to heart issues as well. 0 (57m 17s): So it is related to heart issues and other, and other preventable diseases. Things like obviously like type two diabetes, it's correlated with a certain forms of cancer is correlated with certain, with prevention or a preventable heart disease. And, and also just like a reduction of your hormones and testosterone levels. 1 (57m 39s): So with it's type two diabetes that you, you get basically off of poor Porsche health, correct? 0 (57m 48s): Yes, exactly. So with that, 1 (57m 51s): I guess first, when it comes to preventing it, like, that's pretty much just having a clean diet and moving, right. Like, okay. Yeah. It's 0 (58m 0s): A, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. And no, you're fine. 1 (58m 3s): So when it comes to reversing it, like, is there a specific protocol that you attack with that? Because what's interesting. I know some people that have it and you would look at them and you wouldn't say that they were out of shape. Right. Cause they're, they're probably thin they definitely don't have a lot of muscle tone. So like you were tweeting the other day, like there, like the skinny fat, so it's not necessarily being like, like obese or visibly fat that can get you there. So I guess when you're tackling that with someone who's like skinny fat, is that different than someone who's 0 (58m 36s): Overtly over that? Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And, and skinny, fat is one of those, like just things that no one necessarily talks about, but I actually find that to be somewhat worse than being obese because you're still open to the same diseases. And yet at the same time, at least obese people actually have muscle. They actually have a semblance and muscle on a bike. That's why you see like some obese guys out there. They have like massive calves, but, but with skinny fat people, you have to approach it in a very different way. And it's also, it comes to a choice, right? So let's just say, we're dealing with someone that has 40 pounds a loose and we're a 50, whatever it is, you have a good, significant of a pound solution. 0 (59m 23s): So obviously the one thing that we're going to do is we're going to target fat loss and a, this, this comes with, you know, a changing up your diet, eating a certain way and making sure that you're also keeping a routine in your muscle, right? With the skinny fat people, its a little bit different. It's almost like you have to make a choice. Hey, are we going to choose to a gain muscle or are we going to choose to burn fat? And usually depending on the situation we like to say, okay, let's choose to burn fat, but then I have to prepare you for this because with skinny fat people, it's not going to come out as fat as that is not going to come off as fast as say like someone has 40 pounds. 0 (1h 0m 5s): So I remember, I remember we were dealing with a, with one of our client's and it was just a slow roll for him. Like he, as opposed to the people losing too and a half or two pounds off their bodies a week, he was losing like 0.7, five to one a week. And that could be pretty frustrated. And if you're doing everything that you do, you feel like you have to do, and you're only seeing like this very minute drop, but that is almost like something you have to go through in order to get you to where you need to be from a fat, from a, let's just say like a body fat perspective. And I always say it's like two choices. Okay. So we're going to burn body fat. We focus on that first. It's gonna be a slow roll and just let me Perry for that. 0 (1h 0m 46s): And if we choose gaining muscle, I have to prepare you. It's going to be a slow roll. So it's almost like, it's almost like you have to take a little bit more time with people who are skinny fat, because you're working with two separate things at once your working with the, the building of the mussel and you're working with the burning of the fat and these two things are preferably done separately. 1 (1h 1m 9s): Yeah. So would you say that its kind of a, it has to be with that combination of movement and diet like versus cause there's some people and I don't really get up. There's some people that are like the diet only that I think that die on that can fix everything. And then there's some people that think diet doesn't matter at all. All you have to do is move. And then I guess based off of your experience that both kind of have to work and symbiosis 0 (1h 1m 32s): Yeah. Diet. Okay. So it's, it's diet, it's exercise. It's a sleek. It's also a a, I mean I guess you could say water is combined with diet and I would also say it's a, and is there a perception and their reactions to stress, right? So like again, I feel like everything should be whole and everything should be done together. And that's where you actually get the most benefit. If you focus on dye the loan, you're going to burn some muscle and you're going to start off maybe lower and, and maybe the worst spot than when you began, if you focus on the only working out, then you can almost like go too hard. But the workouts, cause you're trying to burn calories is trying to get in the shape. 0 (1h 2m 12s): You're not fixing actually what needs to be fixed when you, when you're trying to lose weight, which is a diet. So the both of those things together, it's just like gangbusters. Amazing. And then obviously getting the adequate amounts of recovery when you're getting like sleep six to eight hours, depending on what you a, depending on what you work with. And depending on what's a, what works well with you, that obviously is a big factor in helping you a not only gain muscle, but also recover from your workouts. And the last part, it's just a reaction to stress and how we're perceiving stress and how we actually, and what we do with it, that stress. So working with the entrepreneur's and just anyone in general, I feel like there's like this elevated amount of stress and it's not new stress. 0 (1h 2m 53s): It's not like the stress that actually helps you. It's the stress that actually drives you down. And I feel like everyone's stress levels are starting to rise right now. So what we try to do is we try to actually have them look at the stress and a very, in a very kind of like just in a way that brings awareness around it. Because a lot of times when people go into these behavioral behaviors, when the reacting to stress doing it in a very unconscious way, they're not necessarily thinking about it. So when we actually get them to focus on the stress, what happens is, is that they're aware of it. They understand when it's happening, they have like this, they have almost like these options that they can do with it that don't, that don't have to do with eating that don't have to do with destroying their body. 0 (1h 3m 33s): And, and we try to push them in a certain way to, to actually use that stress and using the way that it's actually just, this is a good for their bodies. And I would say the, that stress part is the low key thing right there. And, and a lot of times wen, and again, the reason why people don't exercise a reason why people don't get as much sleep and the reasons why people don't necessarily eat as well is because they're living a very high stress lines and they have no idea how to manage it and what to do with it. 1 (1h 4m 0s): I feel like if you don't get those things and to check, you could have a perfect diet and a pretty solid workout routine. And you're just going to continue to just kind of like self-sabotage and not see results. And it's really trying to get your mind in alignment with all of that too. 0 (1h 4m 16s): Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And also like, I'm so glad you talked about the mind that it's almost like you have to get yourself to see yourself almost an, a different light, right? So a lot of people identify with a, the fact that a, they are a fat or the fact that they, or a, B, C, or they have this, the identify with what the weaknesses, this is going to be me, you know? So we actually need to change your mind as we change your body. Because as you know, actually is not a lot of people know this, but losing weight is actually easy and everyone's done it, right. We all know people, everybody who's the last 20, 25 pounds off their body and what happens. 0 (1h 5m 0s): Usually they just put it back on and it all just comes back on. Right? So we need to find a way to actually manage your mind and also to have you see yourself and identify yourself with the things that you're doing. So instead of like being like, oh man, I gotta go work out. I have to eat healthy and a tortured myself to torture now such, such insightful thinking. I know, but, but when we actually start identifying with being a healthy person and start molding thermostat in our brains to feel comfortable when we actually drop this weight, then we can get away from self-sabotage. 0 (1h 5m 44s): And we can, that we can see when self sabotage happens, right. When it's happening, as opposed to what happens. Usually when it happens unconsciously, you have a little bite here, a little bite there, the next thing, you know, a 25 pounds later, you're back to where you were before. So we have to change the mind as much as we change the body. 1 (1h 6m 2s): It's really interesting. I guess the, the comfort of identifying as things that aren't in our best interest, right? Like, so identifying with, you know, like I'm, I'm always late or I'm a failure or I'm always going to be the chubby kid and like, that's so easy to stay there. And I think it's, I guess partially, probably because it's known, so it's like the devil we know versus shedding that and be like, well, who am I, if I'm not these bad habits for me? So I M I got pretty sick early on the guy that had really, really bad endometriosis when I was 19 to the point where I had to have like surgery to kind of like clean it out. 1 (1h 6m 46s): And then I shortly after got hit with Grave's disease, which is a hyper thyroid auto-immune issue. And it got so bad because it went untreated for a long time was no one knew what was wrong with me. Cause I looked healthy. Everyone thought I had an eating disorder and that's like, the problem with being a woman is like, they saw a young college girl that was underweight. And they were like, oh, she's just not eating. And I'm like, I'm meeting like a horse. I got promise you eating a horse. And it just went so long that I got down to 90 pounds, which is a really light for me and my muscles atrophied. I couldn't go upstairs or use my legs anymore. So my husband actually had to carry me around. It was really, really intense. 1 (1h 7m 26s): And I remember when I started recovering and I was on medication, I was, I went to the gym and I was like, I'm going to try to just do the leg, press it like super light. And I couldn't do it. My legs still a word to a point where I could do it with no weight. And I was, I broke down. I started crying in the middle of the gym and I was like, I will never take my health for granted again, the moment that my muscles come back, like I'm never going to look at working out like a half, two. I'm going to be like, I'm blessed that my legs work. And anytime I get into like a negative loop where I'm like, I'm so tired, I don't wanna go the gym. I immediately go back to that anchor. And I'm like, no, you get to your legs work. 1 (1h 8m 7s): This is such a blessing. And like, don't even for a second, look at it like a bad thing. And that's helped me so much just that reframing. 0 (1h 8m 16s): Yeah. It's a, it's looking at the aspect of using our bodies as a privilege. Not necessarily is a right. Especially like if you've, if you get your health taken away from you that I hope that should be enough to, to push you to actually never let that happen again. Right. And, and the thing is like, we take these things for granted, even the most simple things, man, just like, if you've ever sprained your ankle, what's the thing that you're hoping for you. And you're like, I just hope I walk properly. And then when you walk properly again, you're like, ah, a stupid ankle. She's like a normal to me when the reality is, is that, you know, these things are not necessarily a, a, like you have to do this and you must do this. 0 (1h 9m 8s): It's, it's literally like, yo dude, I am living such a great life that I get to actually carve out time to go to the gym. I'm able to use my body in. And Jim, I'm able to be like, to actually increase my strength. I'm able to actually improve inside of the gym. And as, and when we start looking at these things as, as almost like, I like it and I like, it's a call it as looking at it as your St Sherry's and looking at as like your places of healing in places of improvement, then I feel like, you know, maybe more people would actually start gravitating towards it when, when they kind of get away from the, the work aspect of the things and get into the aspect of like, Hey, guess what? Like, I'm blessed to actually be in this world in the first place, unless the using this body, I'm blessed to have an arm in the leg and hands and everything that I have right now. 0 (1h 9m 55s): And I will not take this for granted and I will use this whole body and my brain. So the best of my ability, right. That's the, I mean, that to me is, is the pinnacle of mindset. And I'm so glad you were able to just have that moment. It's almost like that rock bottom moment, you know? Yeah. It's just like never again. And if our being for me and say, I feel like a lot of people have to hit that rock bottom, you know, it's almost like they have to learn the hard way. And if you don't and if you're listening to this and you don't have to learn the hard way, please do something about it. Right. Please, please. Right. 1 (1h 10m 30s): That's what they say. Wisdom is, wisdom is learning from other people's mistakes and like knowledge is learning from your own and being a fool is simply not learning. 0 (1h 10m 41s): Yeah. Yeah. Well, we know that on Twitter, on that platform, I'll 1 (1h 10m 48s): Have to take it in small doses because it is like, it is a very, like, it's a draws you in, I don't want to say addicted, but it it's pretty clothes that draws you in it. And you're like, I have to share my thoughts. And it's like, no, you, don't not all the time to take a minute. 0 (1h 11m 5s): Sometimes with a pause is a really good, you know, just a, you know, like I give it a like, you know, maybe like an hour to marinate and we'll S we'll see what happens with that. But there's also a man and, you know, in social media, you know, like a lot of people kind of, you know, a lot of people are poo-pooing on it and they're just say, oh my God, that is the devil and all that kind of stuff. And it's like, the devil has only the witches and the way in which we use it. And, you know, that's the devil, you know, and the devil is the way in which we, we allow ourselves to create with it or to consume with it. And I'm, and I'm pretty sure with Twitter as well, and just any kind of social media platform, we've learned so much. 0 (1h 11m 46s): My, my wife has been on Instagram with like the baby advice stuff, like crazy, a crazy. And then, and there are a child is like so well adjusted. I'm like, well, thank you for this free information. Thank you for this know. And I feel like there's like a, almost like, like there in the baby, out with the bath water, when people talk about social media sometimes, but man, social media is like, if you use it correctly, I feel like social media can like change your life. And 1 (1h 12m 14s): Oh, it definitely can. You can definitely use it as a tool. I just think for me, I mean, it's 100% changed my life. I don't know where I would be without social media. I have no idea what version I would be living out, but it's also, it can be really frustrating and even like sad when you do see some of the interactions, cause you're like, man, I don't know you, but I'm pretty certain you wouldn't be talking like this. If I, or whoever you were tweeting to was right in front of you. And why can't we piece that together? Like why, why is it so easy with this anonymity to just be the worst versions of ourselves? 1 (1h 12m 56s): And I think that's the sucky part is you just want to be doing better. 0 (1h 13m 1s): And I'll also throw this out there that a guy's on Twitter get treated differently than women on Twitter. Absolutely. And when I see some of the interactions with like, you know, from, from a guy towards like say a Twitter account, like yours, that's where a kind of like Leah's or whatever it is. I'm just like embarrassed almost to a certain extent because it's just like a, they, the will have the certain, a Mike you'll have a certain percentage of people who just use it to, to, to really outline how much hatred that they have inside of their own lives. And, and yeah, I guess it's just with anything it's like, take, take the good with a bat and you know, it is what it is, you know, and there's always going to be a positive and negative and the same with you. 0 (1h 13m 47s): I don't know where I'd be without social media whatsoever, man. Yeah. It sounds weird to say that actually, but I don't, I really don't know if we'd even be in Costa Rica right now, if it weren't for social media, you know, so it's always a good and bad to every single situation, man. 1 (1h 14m 4s): That's the cool thing too, is a lot of people are focusing on what's I guess now being coined as nomadic wealth. So being able to work virtually and really prioritizing that, especially given the fact that 2020 happened and you realized whatever the kicker is, is when I first started in my career, everyone was like this isn't, it's not wise, it's not stable. It's not smart. It's not a, there's no longevity in it. Yada, yada, yada like all of these reasons why my decisions were shit and 2020 comes and I'm one of the few people that is already solely based off of a virtual income source. 1 (1h 14m 44s): So it didn't really affect me. Thank God. But my husband who had, you know, the safe route to most people, he has restaurants. Guess what happens with those arrests? They're still open. And again, we, we we're, we're very fortunate that neither of us were, were affected like so many other people, but we had to shut down for us a good amount of time. If you don't know, right. You just want to, 0 (1h 15m 11s): You don't know. And in general I love freedom, man. You know like, so, so there's, there's a mental freedom. There's, there's a there's financial freedom and, and low key location. Freedom is, is one of those things that I, that I have almost like gravitated to. And the reason being is because like the world has become so small and if he could work from anywhere in the world and be able to house yourself anywhere then, and why the heck not? You know, and, and I have this thing, you know, like a, especially with like nomadic travel, one of the reasons why I went into let's say uprooting my family, selling her house, taking us to Costa Rica a is for something very specific, a, you know, I've, I've always lived about 10 to 20 miles away from my hometown always. 0 (1h 16m 6s): Right. And a, and, and I found that sometimes that to me was like a comfort, you know, always being around the same old people and always being around others in, and it, even the environment wasn't Sutent for my personality. He was like Toronto and the city, the city's suburbs and like all that kind of stuff. And I remember I was just like, dude, life is, I remember telling myself at some point it's like, life is way too short to live in the environments that did not suit you're personality. And, and that was actually my first full race. So I actually sold my gym and December, 2018, thankfully that gym is still alive. 0 (1h 16m 46s): Yeah. I know. I'm like, oh, I just hope that for those owners that they're still able to keep it, you know, so that really keep it, that the door's open and whatnot, and the seemed to be doing a good job with that. And that was sold in December, 2018. And then I maybe took like a month or two to kind of like figure out what I really wanted to do. Cause I was, I wasn't done, you know, I still wanted to do stuff. And then there was just, there was a couple of things. Number one, when I was going to start a business and needed to be expansive, I needed to be a, almost like limitless to a certain extent of how I can grow it. And the other thing was a, need that to be a virtual. I didn't want to be confined to a location whatsoever. 0 (1h 17m 26s): And, and yeah, you know, what's a living here in Latin America for the last, a little bit, just like everything we got the good and the bad, you know what I mean? The good his environment and everything, but a, but there's a, you know, you always gotta take the negative and the positives situations as well. So that has been like, you know, maybe we've lost the phone or maybe less laptop or two down here, you know, and you just have to deal with those kind of like little petty crime stuff. But, but again, it's just, you know, a man, I don't know that I don't know what I'd be doing if I had to stay in Toronto for lockdown, man. 1 (1h 17m 60s): So is it still locked down right now? 0 (1h 18m 3s): It's still locked down. The numbers are going down. People are now they're giving you the roadmap to opening things up again, but nothing has opened up yet. They're still in lockdown. And I think it's going to get better. I really do a butt. I hope, but I am not going to be there to figure it out. You know, I'm not going to be there to 1 (1h 18m 25s): The release. The, do you guys have vaccines up 0 (1h 18m 27s): There? Yeah. And that we have vaccines, but a, but they kind of bungled up the effort and a little bit that I always say this right with Canada. We're always about maybe two to three steps behind the United States. So if something is happening in the United States, I always find that probably going to have to wait, maybe like two, maybe like two more times the, the wait time to, to have that happen in Canada. So the vaccines got went crazy and the United States everybody's partying right now. People are going to like the MBA games and whatnot. Its crazy. And then Canada, people are like, now we're just getting past a point of having people, you know, vaccinated. 0 (1h 19m 8s): Right. And now we have enough vaccines for everybody. We didn't have enough vaccines for everybody. So, so, so yeah, it was a little bit slower than Canada and now hopefully things that turning around a, but the self, the nose, if we're going to be staying, staying there a long term. 1 (1h 19m 21s): Yeah. So what are your plans? Are you going to like be bopping around and seeing worlds? 0 (1h 19m 27s): Yeah. We're going to, yeah, we aren't going to be bopping. That's going to be amazing. Yeah. So a, I was actually having this conversation with this a real estate mentor. He's a, he's actually, we're living in his, a Villa. He's a lot allow their families to kind of like live in a separate Caseta. And he told me, he was just like, you know what? Then like you're in a position right now where you can just like date as many cities as you want. Right. And, and C and C as many things that you wanted and kind of like figure out where exactly do you really, really, really want to set your roots and, and yeah. So our first stop is going to be in Colorado. We're going to be spending time in Boulder, sometime Aspen, sometime a veil. 0 (1h 20m 9s): Then we are going back to Toronto to actually just do a bunch of stuff or we're building a couple of things down there and we just have to figure those parts out and kind of like put boots to ground on that. And then most likely we're coming back here and Costa Rica for the winter time and you're gonna be spending maybe like three to four months. And again, it's almost like our stuff as a storage right now. It's a really just like, Vagabonding it a little bit with a, with yeah. A wife in a baby 1 (1h 20m 35s): Essentially. That's a really cool veil is one of my favorite places I've ever been to it's we went in, when was it like two winters ago? And I was like, it is the equivalent of being an S like the snow globe. That's like, what you feel like you're just the cutest little snow globe there ever was 0 (1h 20m 53s): Amazing. Yeah. I can't wait. And a, you know, we're, we're living beside beaches right now. A it's almost like there's like this four texts. I was like, have you ever heard of energy for a Texas and stuff, but it's almost like this vortex is here and it is beach related and a I'm. So looking forward to kind of like being around the mountains and being just in of, of the vastness and then the there's so much difference, such a different energy between like a beach setting and, and the mountain setting. I don't know how to explain it, but it's just different. And we're looking forward to kind of like having that the change of pace. So a little bit, 1 (1h 21m 30s): A a hundred percent, I think that when you're like towards the mountains or in like some deep forest, it's just a lot more grounding. I don't know. Like you just like way more centered, at least for me, because we live at the beach too. And I'm like, I love it. And I love like opening my doors and being able to smell like that salt air. But that, for me, there's just something way more like magical and healing about being with so much greenery and like the height of mountains and a vast, 0 (1h 22m 1s): Yeah. Being a man, just the aspect that being within nature and actually breathing in a, the greens that are around you, my friend was telling me, he was like, yeah, man, the plants are given off sexual energy and all that kind of sound like whatever it is, you know, it's great. You know, it's working, you're keep on doing it. And there is just something to be said about like walking through a forest without technology and walking amongst the mountains and the, the almost the change of effect that it gives your brain, you know, it's a definite, they call it a <inaudible> or something like that. They call it a forest bathing in Japan. 0 (1h 22m 43s): And it's, it's literally just like walking into a forest and just not bringing anything with it. And just being there for about 30 minutes and just bathing in the greens. And, and we've been able to kind of like, so a down here in Costa Rica, everything is like open air and you can't really like eat in air. We're actually, this is the reason why a part of the COVID situation down here is knock too crazy because everyone's out in nature. Everyone's like not confined inside. So, so I found that when I'm down here, as opposed to being around like buildings and cities in Toronto, I am just less stressed, you know? And I feel like that when you live in the city, there's just like amplification of anxiety, amplification, the stress, amplification, the need to do something. 0 (1h 23m 30s): And then down here, when you're breathing in nature and you're walking and you know, you're not surrounded by tech and buildings. It's almost like this reduction in this like removal of stress. You're not as high-strung anymore. And, and yeah, this is to me, like when I'm talking about it right now, I'm like, this is a huge signal, like follow this right here, pull on this thread. 1 (1h 23m 51s): Isn't that the number one prescription for depression and anxiety in Japan, where 0 (1h 23m 57s): They described that you like a forced babe. Yes. Yeah. They, they prescribed to you. That is what they do. They prescribe you like drop your phone off and your desk and take 4,000 steps inside of that forest. And then come back and let me know what's up in Japan. That's such a, like a Japan as such a subset as well as such a really cool, it's just like a really cool, I guess you could say a sample size because they are the highest stress people, at least from what I, what I see from the media. But that, again, there they are so tied into their work that they need stuff like this need 1 (1h 24m 33s): Like forest. Actually, I can't remember the term for it, but they actually, there's a term in, that's only exists in Japanese and it's dying of overworking because the people would be on the subway and people would think that they were asleep and they were actually dead. They would be on their commute back home or to work and they would just die and everyone just assumes that they're sleeping and it was happening so often that they came up with a term for it. It is wild. 0 (1h 25m 3s): That scares me, man. You know, especially the, you know, especially as like an entrepreneur. I mean, I don't think that I've seen that happen to like, in the entrepreneurs, like working themselves to death as like Elan should be like a fucking 20,000 feet and the ground right now. But, but that's actually something that does like scare me, especially with entrepreneurship, you know? And, and actually it's a pretty good fear too, because it's like the balance between a really just crushing it and trying to like do as many cool things in your business to grow it. And then the balance between being with your family and trying to spend as much time with them and trying to like, you know, trying to be there, you know, to, to be actually seeing your child grow and then the balance with your health and the balance with your body. 0 (1h 25m 47s): Yeah. So one thing that, that I'm always like, I guess, like coming from a, like a fitness aspect that I'm always trying to make sure I'm like scheduling in my exercise and I'm scheduling in my family a family time, especially now that the business is getting like more complex. And I feel like I need to do that, you know, because I want to be that guy on the subway, you know, like giving up his life just to, just to work and just to make a couple extra dollars and whatnot. So, yeah, and to think about that, we were 1 (1h 26m 15s): At the park for the other day and we always saw this woman with this little girl and we thought that it was a little girl's mom. Cause they looked similar and the age and all that we just assumed would come to find out it was a nanny, a no judgment, like I had a nanny. Right. So that, I think it's a very useful, especially if you're a bit, you have other aspirations other than just being a parent. But she was like asking like, where does so-and-so live? And just like engaging with a kid, they call it like talking about friends and family members. And she goes, where do a mommy and daddy live? And a little girl said in their office and my husband and I looked at each other and were like, whoa, a little girl is like maybe three M and were like, it is a alarming. 1 (1h 27m 1s): How per se like per a, where they are. Right? Like little kids are just the, everything as such a young age. And it's like, everything's a trade off. So you will probably never achieve what you would have achieved if you didn't have kids. Can you still achieve greatness? Absolutely. Elan has what like five kids. And he's like the richest man in the world and trying to bring, those are a species to be multi-planetary so very lofty goals. So yeah, you can absolutely achieve greatness, greatness as a parent. It just probably is going to look a little bit different than if you weren't a parent. So I guess how, what's your perspective on unbalanced because you see a lot and I, I pick on the sky a lot, but I just fundamentally disagree with what he puts out there as Gary V. 1 (1h 27m 52s): I just don't like that guy. I think he offers really shitty advice to everybody. I hate also a culture. There was this video that he recently put out where he was like scheduling one hour of family time. And I was like, you want to see your family one hour a day? Like, you, you feel fulfilled. You feel like a good dad. You feel like a good husband. There's no way. There's no way. So like, where what's your balance? Like, how do you, how do you do it without feeling like you're doing a shitty job at work or you're doing a shitty job at home? 0 (1h 28m 24s): Well, number one is going to be scheduling the time that you need and also a using Parkinson's law as well. So a Parkinson's law to me is just like, whatever work that you give yourself within that a specific timeframe that has the work that's going to get completed. If you're giving yourself a deadline. So I make it a point after 4:00 PM. I'm not touching anything. I may be on Twitter and like replying back to people or whatever, but I'm literally not at work and I'm not doing work things whatsoever. That is family time. And, and when it comes to a balance, it's really just like a prioritization of time. 0 (1h 29m 4s): Right? And Gary's like, I'm going to give a one hour to his family out of 24. Well, that means that you value your family one out of a 24, right? That is the amount that you actually value your family. So whenever I look at the guy's priorities and I'm always looking at the schedule and if the schedule is like 99% like business, and guess what, that's the only thing that is 99% of what matters to him. So, you know, men lie, women lie, but your schedule will never lie. So I look at what is prioritized and I make sure that my work time is my work time and no one can get it on that, that I'm a scheduling in my workouts and my workouts are non-negotiables. 0 (1h 29m 46s): And also I'm trying to create a business that is not about hustle, culture, culture, culture is not about hustle culture. It's not about like, you know, trying to work like 12 hour days and trying to, and trying to be as big as possible and trying to, and trying to just like sacrifice everything in order to get a goal. I actually feel like you can, if you, if you actually give it a bit of a thought and the strategically do it in a certain way, you can have the goal and you can have the lifestyle all at the same time. Right. And, and I don't, I don't watch Gary V that much a, you know, not, I, I do know what is, what is the messages, but in general, there are a, they're a very, a great many ways in which to actually own and operate and grow a business. 0 (1h 30m 38s): And so I try to look for Archimedes lever essentially when it comes to the business. And for me, a Archimedes' lever is actually having to like really awesome people. You know, like literally I have a CEO, a, we have a team and, and my CEO is like, you should not be doing any of the stuff that you don't necessarily want to do. You should actually be pure on vision and creating, and that's all he's going to do. Right. So it's just having a team of people that can, you know, basically have that power and they can actually, you know, make you focus on the things that you're greatest at. So that gives you joy. And it's the same time you can cut yourself off and you can say, okay, enough is enough. 0 (1h 31m 18s): I did my work for the day. I just have to go to the next day. And then just making sure that you're looking at your schedule and then understanding that your schedule is going to show you exactly where your priorities are. So adjust accordingly. 1 (1h 31m 30s): Yeah. And I think relating it to what you you've brought up a bunch of times is active recovery. Like so many people when they're focusing on their body, like they want to skip stretching. Right. Or they want to skip, like myofascia release. Like they think all of that is like just fluff and it's not going to make a difference, but it makes all of the difference, right? Like if you're not doing those things, you're not healing that muscle that you just tore up or your joints, aren't going to be working at prime at their prime. Right. So it's the same thing that I look at balancing your life is you wanna, you wanna do that active recovery? You want to have that reward otherwise, what is it all for? So if you don't get to see your baby laughing, or if you don't get to, you know, have those romantic connections with your partner, it's like, what is this all for? 1 (1h 32m 15s): Yeah. 0 (1h 32m 16s): It's like, it's a, it's almost like, you know, do you see your family as worker recovery? Right. And, and, and, and especially with people who are S who were addicted to work, right. So they're sad. They work, they're angry. They work, the, you know, something's happened. That was great. Okay. We're going back to work. And they just make their lives about work in the thing is that, like, when they look at their families, they're like, oh my God, I got to put a bunch of time into this kid. I gotta be active. I gotta be present. I gotta be away from my phone. And they're looking at all of these kinds of things. When the reality is, is that when you actually become less a say a parent who is willing to show up to, to be the best parents that they could possibly be, that brings an itself, the rewards. 0 (1h 33m 4s): And the part of the rewards is no therapy for your kids. Hopefully no therapy at a later on in their life, hopefully. But the other thing is this immense amount of connection that you have with the child and with your spouse. And that itself is, is almost like soul active recovery, active recovery for a soul 'cause like with, at work. You know, you're not necessarily getting loved and not necessarily getting hugged. And when you're with your family, it's like, you don't have to think about all that stuff anymore. You can just be with them and not talk about it and actually be in the presence of actually seeing the world through a child's eyes again, you know? 0 (1h 33m 44s): And, and yeah, I have this thing. It's like, I work from home. So sometimes like I'm working at my desk and then my daughter will come in and crawl over. She'll go to my chair and look up at me. I'm like, I'm just like a take off my headphones. Like, all right, let's go. You know? So for some people would be like, how do you know how dare you, you know, get in my flow. And then for me, I'm just like, you know what, like, fuck, this is life. This is life and work is life too. But this is, this is really life. And I want to prioritize this and actually with your children as well, I feel like it's like, they give you a tension. You, you need to get that attention back to them. 0 (1h 34m 26s): You need to let them feel seen. You need to let them feel heard. So every time that they look at you, they're not gonna be like, oh, and he's like in the office all the time, they're going to be like, Hey, anytime I need my daddy, I can just like, turn around and talk to him. 1 (1h 34m 40s): So, yeah. Yeah. Especially at this age too, because I don't know if this is a thought that goes on in your mind, but it's one of my ruminating. So it's one of the ones that are out there every day at some point. And it's like, you don't know which memory is going to be the first one, because we're not there yet. We're not, we're a, we're approaching first territory and it could be anything. It could be something that is negative. Scary. It could be amazing. Right. And I do not, I want to do everything in my power to make sure that that first one is a good one or at least a neutral one. I don't want it to be like, I was reaching up for my mom and she was on her phone, like, oh my gosh. Like that would, that would be like a dagger. 1 (1h 35m 22s): I wouldn't be able to handle that. So just being like hyper aware of that fact, I think helps a lot. And I don't want to be like a, like you said, I don't wanna be the one that is like, I can't go to them right now. Cause there in the office, it's like, no, if you need me, I'm here. What's up. And there are definitely moments where I'm in the flow of something and he comes up and I'm like, oh man, I was really doing something. And I was making some great work. But like in that moment I get to decide what's my priority and it's going to be him. Right. Unless it's an emergency on something else. And he is not in an emergency state then sure. That that's different, but he's gonna be the priority of, and I think that when you mentioned as though is a family worker as a family, like your recovery is so huge, it's one of those compounding problems too. 1 (1h 36m 13s): So it's like the, the more time you spend away from your family, the more disconnected you get. And then I think with that comes a lot of fear and anxiety because you're like, I don't know these people I'm sharing my space with, so it's like, what are we going to talk about at dinner? Nothing. I'm not, I can't talk to them about spreadsheets. So then you avoid it even more and then compound compound compound. So the sooner you can kind of tackle that problem, head on and just understand, maybe it's going to be uncomfortable for those first couple of dinners because you have had your priorities shifted. But if you can lean into that and except that without like your ego getting in the way, and then you can he'll and then, you know, reprioritize your life. 0 (1h 36m 51s): Yeah. One of the thing is that I try to do as much as possible is like, is try to get down to their level as much as possible. And as a guy, a guy that is somewhat of an intellectual, you know, sometimes you're like with a baby and I'm like, you know, you can't have a conversation with them. You know, they're, they're living a different world than, than you've even experienced. You know, you're, we're experiencing right now. So sometimes as a guy it's like hard to get down in and be like, start playing and started doing goofy stuff and all that kind of stuff. But, but we have that, like for me actually connects so much with my daughter when I'm trying to get down to where she's at and trying to release like any kind of like preconceived notions. 0 (1h 37m 35s): And I think gab, our motto said this, he was just like one of his biggest mistakes as a parent was trying to get his child that grow up so fast. You know, he's trying to, he's trying to be like, well, I can't act like that. So I'm not going to interact with him. Right. When the one that actually does irreparable damage when the child itself, you know, far be it for us to say, it's like you relating to the child, what is the child can't relate to you? Oh man, that hurts as a parent. And, and if a child can't relate to you, then guess what's going to happen. They're actually going to seek time away. They're going to be into things. Other, they are more comfortable with it. 0 (1h 38m 17s): Well, they're going to be with mommy more, you know, it's like, if that he's not giving the attention there gonna be just one on mommy and their gonna feel closer to the mommy. And they're gonna feel like that is disliked stranger who lived in the house. And I come from an immigrant family and our family had to work hard and I'm pretty sure actually your family had that worked hard just to get you guys to where you were. Right. Like just to get you guys, like for us, we went from poor to a middle class and that's something that I've seen my parents to do. And I'm just like, dude, I'm so thankful. Thank you so much for that. But I saw them work 12 hour days and I saw the more 24 hour days, they were barely at home. 0 (1h 38m 57s): We had to do all of our catching up literally at like 30 years old. Wow. That's when we started to mend our relationships with each other and now we're talking to every single week and all that kind of stuff. But what the thing is that like, if you have a chance to like, be there as much as possible for your kid and to create your schedule and to create your life too, to actually have a, as a parent and if not two parents, you know, around, oh my God. Like, I feel like that kid will be a lot more well adjusted. I feel like there are going to be a lot more confident, a lot more secure in themselves. And you're just gonna have like a, just an easier child that deal with when you're in a home and you're gonna have fun with it too, because you're like the leading to them 1 (1h 39m 39s): And you know, yeah. I think there is a magic that happens when you have a child. It's like you get to re-experience life. Everything is different. And you can't really explain that to a non-parent because it's going to sound so stupid. But like when we had a, when he was a newborn, so he was born in December. So we had all of like the lights up and like the Christmas lights and he was fascinated. Like, I mean, couldn't take his eyes off of the tree or off the lights that are on the banister. And just like watching him interact with something as simple as that is like, wow. Right. And watching him as he develops, it's like one week he can't use his hands. 1 (1h 40m 21s): Right. He can't actively like pick something up and then all of a sudden something clicks and you see that recognition and you're like, this is Matt. The human experience is so magical. And I just haven't been appreciating it. And it takes this to kind of rediscover that. And I don't want to lose that. And I'm sure that that continues throughout all of a stages. Cause it's like, as soon as you get out of the newborn phase and you're going into the baby, then the baby and to toddler and so on. And it's like, it's such a different reality. Right. And if you miss those windows, you're missing the development of your, the human, you create it. 0 (1h 40m 56s): Hey, and who's teaching your kid, right? Like who is teaching your kid and is there's something to be said about like, you know, let's just say like my daughter, she just learned how to suck on stress and how, and how they learn because they saw, you know, and then they start doing it. There's something visceral about that. Right. Because, because it's like, you were taught this before and then now you're passing off this wisdom to this next generation, right. To there's something very visceral about a, about taking on that roll. 0 (1h 41m 36s): And, and I are in the back of my mind. It's like, no matter how, like how much money I make. Like I just don't, I want to be there as much as possible to be there, to see these like moments. And even our kids have like a, our daughter's on the stand right now. And, you know, if she started to standing and started the walk and I wasn't there for that, you know, man, I just think there would be like some form of regret. So we get to see things almost like a knew a little bit. And we get to see things from their perspective, from their point of view. And we get to actually understand that life is this like most amazing, most amazing journey and Tripp and a lot of things that we're looking at that we see around us, it's like taken for granted. 0 (1h 42m 23s): You know, I remember just watching the movie soul and this whole thing was just like, yeah, there's a little thing was like becoming the best jazz musician. But the reality was is that the purpose was to, to see every single thing as if it was a brand new to, and to enjoy life that way. And, and I feel like, you know, if we can do that, then babies are almost like our teachers to a large extent to help us get there as well. 1 (1h 42m 49s): <inaudible> my favorite, one of my favorite scenes from that movie, there's a lot, we've already seen it like three times, because there's so much, there's so much valuable information. Like anyone who hasn't seen it, go check it out. It's when they were focusing on the lost souls and they were like, oh no, we got another hedge fund guy coming in. And 0 (1h 43m 13s): I know that's an amazing, 1 (1h 43m 15s): And then finally the hedge fund guy like breaks out of being lost and he throws everything off of his desk and he's so excited and he's going to start living cause he found his like his life again. And I'm like, that's so beautiful. But how many of us have been, or are still one of those lost souls that are just, it's almost like the net. I don't know if you saw this way, but I looked at it kinda like flow. It looked like I'm the shaman guy was, would get into flow and then he would go into like this Astro plane. And then I'm the dark side of that flow, which would be the hedge fund guy, his a lost soul. You like lose your, your purpose. So it's like, how many of us are there? 1 (1h 43m 56s): And what do we need for us to have that awakening? 0 (1h 44m 0s): I feel like every time as a person on this planet, it has like this one thing that they're just a minute to do. And actually it's not one thing it's like multiple things. That one thing leads to another thing. And at least one other thing that leads to another thing. And it's almost like this like journey of milestones. And I remember I was working with a rat race and that was living in the corporate life. And I remember this is before I got into fitness, I was doing the nine to five and I was actually out of a job that I was getting paid very well at. And I hate it. And, and just like you, you know, I actually, when you went into online, I told everyone, Hey, guess what guys, I'm going to become a trainer. 0 (1h 44m 43s): And everyone's like, no, don't do it. And that was just like, I feel like I'm pulled to do this. It's actually quite easy for me. I love reading about it. I love learning about it. And it was like 18 years ago when, when training is not the Instagram models, it wasn't as like sexy as it is right now. They actually saw personal training is like a side job. It was a little, I think it was almost like 19, like in the 1990s are just the two thousands or something like that. But I ended up a, I ended up going into training and loving it. It's almost like it's almost like that thing where you're doing something and you look up at the S the, you look at the clock and you're just like, holy Crow, like we're at all the time go, you know? 0 (1h 45m 28s): And, and that's one of those signals of flow that, that I just love. And I remember after kind of like taking that choice and, and I don't want to make light of the choice because the choice was so hard because everyone's telling me not to do it. And I was going to make less than what I was making. I was going to take a nap. I was going to take a very significant pay cut. And I was just like, well, fuck it. I got to do this. And I don't know why, but I feel pulled to do this. So I ended up a, so when I ended up doing, doing that, it is like, is almost like you're not in the posture anymore. You're not a fraud. You are literally doing something that, that feels just so good to you. And it's actually helping other people. 0 (1h 46m 9s): You know, I felt like my other job was actually hurting other people. So we were selling high interest loans to people. And I was, that is like the most biggest, embarrassing job I've ever had in my entire life. But, but when you actually do something that you feel like you're being pulled on the surface to do it, it gives you energy. It gives you a sense of fulfillment. It gives you a sense of purpose. It gives you a sense of mission. And, and yeah, there are some people out there who just, you know, how the fear out of doubts with this workout out of comfort. Sometimes they're, they just have a hard time trying to make that choice. But if they're willing to kind of like abandon the ship's and, and really just like a plan where I'm going to do this for one year, I'm going to really try it out. 0 (1h 46m 53s): And if a freaking suck, then I can go back to what I'm doing. If they can find themselves to do that. I swear to God, like I've never seen anyone do that and look back with regret. 1 (1h 47m 3s): Mm. Yeah. That pull that you get is so interesting because I've had a similar one as well. When I was trying to make a pretty big decisions for my life. And you could sit there and make a list all day, but that doesn't really make a dent. And the reality of making that decision, all you can say is, I really feel like I have to do this thing. And then when you step into it, it's like, wow, like this is the most authentic decision I've made. I'm like finding who I am. And then that's when you're just like, you're truly happy on a different level that you didn't even know you could be at. 0 (1h 47m 39s): I feel like when we make these decisions, and this was actually something that I was going through, kind of making this transition, and these decisions are going to come up and at the pinnacle moments. So like a, when you're feeling the most comfortable with something, let's say, even for me, it was training. I was feeling very comfortable being a trainer in a gym. And I had that pull that. I said, okay, well, we got to go off on our own. I don't really want to go off on my own, became a lot of money right now. You know, like you, you get these poles at a certain, a certain milestones and its almost like you have the trust yourself, alright, let's do this. And I actually say like sometimes to make these decisions, you have to pretend like everyone in your life has passed away because yeah, it's, it's weird, right? 0 (1h 48m 24s): Because we carry around these, these parental, these familial and cultural, a almost expectations of what we should be doing and how, and when people go into certain areas of life and go with a certain vocations, isn't really their choice. Or was it because they've been trained to want to be in there. Right? So when we make these decisions that are going to fulfill us too, the Instagram app and we're really going to do something that's passionate, but it's also a big risk. You almost have to pretend as if like, okay. So if I was going to make this decision and no one around me and I didn't have to live up to anyone else's expectations around me, what decision would that make for myself? 0 (1h 49m 9s): And I had to do that actually like, yeah, I had to do that a lot to become a trainer, you know, because my family was kind of like against a, which is fine. Yeah. That totally cool. But that at the same time, like, you know, it's almost like I had to release those expectations of my parents to go into something that I felt was going to truly fulfill my soul. And especially culturally, I don't know. I, I, I can't speak for a Japanese people. I like a speech for Chinese people. And I've heard this a lot from a people that live in India is that there's so a parental pressure is just so much a cultural pressure to do certain things, to be a certain person and for us to break out. 0 (1h 49m 57s): Actually I think that for us to be full human beings, we have to break out of these expectations of culture. You have to break out of these expectations from family and really do things that we feel pulled to do as long as they help other people in and art a detriment to others. 1 (1h 50m 10s): Right? Yeah. Oh my gosh. I couldn't agree more. It's like stepping into your authentic self is it's impossible when you have everyone else's version of who you should be weighing you down. And it's tough because it even without like realizing it us as parents, right. We are trying to do our best. And I think most of our parents tried to do the best with what they had and they didn't know what they were doing. So it's hard to separate like, is this me? Or is this my mom's stuff? Is this years is my dad's stuff. Is this me? Or is this like, what everyone says is to be a good little, a contributing member of society stuff. 1 (1h 50m 51s): And some, I feel like deep down, you know, but it's scary because if it deviates from any of those things and you, you fear the consequences of that. And it's like, how, if you are a risk averse person, how do you overcome the fear of that? And then make that decision to be authentic because for some people it might be better to sacrifice yourself like who you want to be than to take that risk. 0 (1h 51m 19s): Yeah. And like you said, you actually have to get rid of the old is almost like you have to get rid of the old you. And that can be scary for a lot of people. Cause the, like we don't, we all lean on crutches. A we all lean on certain things that make us feel comfortable. And whether that's a are like that, that identified in a culture or identified with being good momma's boy, a good, you know, daddy's boy or whatever it is. Yeah. It's like we have to let go of that version of ourselves in order to become the version that we feel is possible. Now, how do we get over this fear? I don't think it's about getting over that fear. I think it's about, I think it's about perceiving a managing it. 0 (1h 52m 1s): So when I think about the fear, if I can actually put down the fear in a more realistic way, then, then it makes sense to me. And I'm a little bit more on the analytical side. So for people who are analytical, maybe this works for you. And I like to say, okay, cool. If I do this, what's the worst thing that could possibly happen to me. Like literally write it up. Okay. People believe me, I'm gonna have to like a fine, I gonna have to sleep. And my parents' basement have the move back with my parents or whatever that is. Like, what are all the things that are the worst possible situation that could happen as a result of making this extremely scary decision. 0 (1h 52m 41s): And then you write those down and at least you have them on paper, not inside your brain because when they're in your brain, what happens is, is that they will eat you alive and they will destroy you. And it will cause you not to do the thing that you wanted to do. And so after you get analytical and you say the worst case possibly make it as real as you can, then I would go into, okay, well, cool. Like what's the best possible thing that could happen. Like if I put everything into this, a a 180, a hundred percent and I worked every day and I just focused on getting better and focused on figuring it out, what a, what could happen. That's like the, what's a good thing that can happen. Oh, well, I wouldn't be, feel like I'd be going to work every day. 0 (1h 53m 22s): I feel like I'm just like taking a vacation because I'm doing something I freaking love or a, I feel like I'm actually helping people. You know, I am actually helping people improve. And the next day helping people get better. I mean, what could be better than that? I could get paid very handsomely if I learn how to like monetize this and that it can be done. I've seen people do it that then maybe I can make a living for myself. Maybe we can actually like make more than we're making before, you know? And, and, and at least make that part real. And then afterwards, what I would say is like, okay, well, cool. Now what has to happen in order to make this happen? You know, what, what do we got to do? And actually let's, let's, let's peel it back. 0 (1h 54m 3s): What's the goal here is it's is a change jobs. It's a, you know, what is the destination that would have a feeling really good? What's the motivations behind that. And then what are the obstacles that are going to prevent you from getting to this goal? And then what are the solutions to getting over these? What's the plan to get over each and every one of these things. And then, and then what we're doing is like, we're literally making this as real, as humanly possible. So it doesn't feel like this dream, it doesn't feel like this vision. It feels like it's actually like possible. And yeah, it's just a, I don't, you're never gonna get over the fear. 0 (1h 54m 44s): Yeah. The only way to get over the fears of the literally do the thing that you're, that you're fearing to do. And so, yeah, the anticipation and also the, like the building up in your brain of like how hard it's going to be, how much change there is going to be. Right. Yeah. The fear is literally everything that's going on up here. And then once you start actually taking action towards it, start seeing results, then, then the, almost that fear dissipating, and it turns into, it turns into, okay, well, like how, how can I grow this? How can I make this better? How can we like, you know, scale this up a little bit. 1 (1h 55m 17s): Yeah. Yeah. And you kind of have to say, when you're doing that cost benefit analysis, it's also on the opposite end too, right? Like what if I don't, what's the worst that happens if I don't, am I going to be on my deathbed and think that I live with this fraudulent version of myself. Right. And to me that's the worst possible outcomes. So that there's nothing scarier than that. So if you feel this poll and like you said, it's, it's not hurting anybody. Right. You're not doing anything devious than or devious and a bad way. Yeah. 0 (1h 55m 51s): I've lived my life with that tenant. It's like, am I going to look back on my life and regret that it didn't do this. Right. I mean, that's, and this is the only life that we have to live. That's going to suck so bad. So my whole life has almost been around. Okay, well, am I remember, am I going to look like a back on my life and regret not doing this? If so. 1 (1h 56m 12s): Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Well, this has been amazing. Thank you so much. Do you want to tell the listeners where they can follow you and how they can support you and any of the projects that you might be working on? 0 (1h 56m 28s): Absolutely. And so we have the high Performance Founder podcast. That's a podcast dedicated to entrepreneurs who want to build high-performing bodies in a way that is a, in a way that actually gives you the least amount of stress and the most amount of BS. A so that's a podcast, a sort of, if you're listening, please go there. And then a, if anything, if you want to find me go to a one, the two places on Twitter or a lot as Candace as you know, so, and that sort of.com/fit Foundr. And, and my main website is high-performance founder.com and a, you can find me in any of those three places and Candice, this has been in the incredible conversation that I'm so glad I had this with you. 0 (1h 57m 8s): I really enjoyed it. 1 (1h 57m 11s): Yeah. I'll have to have you back on and check in on you. Absolutely. Well, that's it for this week's episode. If you enjoyed the podcast, please, please. I need your help. So the number one way that we can guarantee the success of this podcast is with you. So if you could simply leave a five-star review, if you enjoyed the content, share it with a buddy, or go ahead and click that little link that says, buy me coffee on Chatting with Candice dot com. All of those things help out a ton. And as I mentioned in the beginning of the podcast, all have the funds get directly, put back into the podcast to help it grow and be its best and highest version of itself. 1 (1h 57m 56s): I couldn't do this without you. I love you all have a good night.