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May 25, 2023

#86 Nick Onken - The Future Belongs to Artists

Nick Onken is a world-renowned photographer, host of ONKEN radio podcast, and a creative entrepreneur devoted to inspiring the world to create their moments. He has photographed personalities such as Justin Bieber, Tom Hanks, and Jessica Alba, with his work being featured in Fast Company, Huffington Post, and MTV. In this episode, we discuss how to find your identity Alchemy, Nick’s thoughts on Masculinity dynamics, and ways to stay ahead as a creative.

 

00:00 Introduction

01:08 The Future Belongs to the Creatives 

03:37 Discipline and Extreme Accountability as a Creative

06:36 Approaching Art with a Curiosity Mindset

09:16 What to Do When You Feel Stuck

10:34 Try Something New to Find Inspiration

13:24 Understanding the Alchemy of Identity

17:09 Nick’s Thoughts on Masculinity Dynamics

19:45 Pleasure Prayers and Sexual Sacredness

22:35 Learning to Take Risks

28:26 How to Become Supernatural

30:45 You Have the Power to Heal Yourself

33:50 Breathwork Benefits, Uses, and Effectiveness

38:45 Understanding the Dark Knight of the Soul

44:45 Self-actualization and the Integration of Psychedelic Experiences

48:52 The First Step to Creation

53:54 Where to Find Nick

 

Understanding the Alchemy of Identity

Identity alchemy can be summed up by this three-step process: Deconstruct-Curate-Become. This is the deconstruction of the self, the curation of the new version of yourself, and then becoming who that is, becoming your authentic self. But why is this important? Well, because people love authenticity, and that’s what keeps them coming back to you. The good news is that everybody is an Alchemist. 

The Future Belongs to the Creatives

The future belongs to the creatives. We live in a fast-evolving world where everybody is trying to come up with something new. And as technological advancements continue to automate repetitive tasks, it is the imaginative minds who will shape and redefine our world. Creatives bring fresh ideas, innovative solutions, and unique perspectives that transcend traditional boundaries. They possess the ability to envision possibilities and inspire others to embrace change. With their artistic talents and visionary thinking, creatives will unlock the true potential of emerging technologies, foster meaningful connections, and create immersive experiences. 

Links and Resources

Nick on Instagram and Twitter

Nick’s Website - Onken.co

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss

Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon by Adam Boyce and Dr. Joe Dispenza

You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter by Adam Boyce and Dr. Joe Dispenza

Support the show

Transcript

0 (0s): Personal development and spirituality has been a really big piece of my journey. And so I think as an entrepreneur, your personal development really directly affects your business. So the deeper that you can know yourself and know what you bring to the table and have, you know, figure out what your gifts are that you bring to the world is how you can actually like create more clarity with your personal brand. 2 (25s): Hello everybody. You are listening to Chatting with Candace. I'm your host Candice. Horbacz. Before we get started, if you could hit that little like and subscribe button wherever you are listening or watching, it helps a ton with the algorithm, it helps with searchability. And then you won't miss an episode at any time we drop one. I'm not gonna go through all of the sponsors or affiliates for this week's episode. If you wanna check them out, you can look in the show notes below. I will link a couple of cool companies and programs that I endorse and I think that are great and I've tried myself and I think that's all we just got done with our cups of coffee for my last episode. So I'm all cut up at this exact moment. If you do wanna support the podcast, you can go to Chatting with candace.com and you can either click the link that says Buy me a Coffee or Patreon. 2 (1m 11s): It all goes back into the show. So thank you for your support for anyone that has been doing that. And I think that's it. So let's hop into this episode. We have Nick Onken on the podcast. Nick is a very celebrated international photographer. He has shot the likes of Justin Bieber, Tom Hanks, Jessica Alba. He's worked with companies like Nike, Coca-Cola, Adidas Cosmopolitan. He also hosts the podcast Onken Radio and he is working on an incredible masterclass, which we will get into. So please help me welcome the very creative and very talented Nick Onken. Nick, thank you so much for joining the podcast today. I'm really excited to have you on. 2 (1m 53s): The more I dug into you and your story and your content, I realized how many like little degrees of separation that we are. So I'm friends with Jim Quick. I heard you talking about Emily. She actually just left here a couple days ago and I was just like, just really excited to meet you. 0 (2m 9s): Nice to meet you too. Emily Fletcher. Yeah, 2 (2m 12s): Yeah. 0 (2m 12s): Oh, amazing. Yeah, I've known her for ages. 2 (2m 14s): Yeah, she's incredible. She was here for two days. I can't wait. This'll be coming out right after her episode. Oh, okay. Yeah, she's just amazing. I've been doing her Zeva practice and then we got into some really cool stuff, but she's just, yeah, she's like a new friend. 0 (2m 29s): Amazing. Yeah, I've known her for years actually. She's been my meditation teacher for years. 2 (2m 34s): Yeah, and I definitely wanna get into that with you as well. But first, I guess we have to start with your incredible backdrop. I was per perusing all of your hats. Your hats are amazing. So I just wanted to say like, they're so unique and so beautiful and I, I love that that's a creative outlet for you. 0 (2m 50s): Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it's been a fun little side project. 2 (2m 54s): Yeah. So I guess let's jump into CreativesThe. I was watching your Jim Quick interview and in part of it he was saying that he believes that The, Future Belongs to the Creatives, especially because of where we're going with ai and that stuff has only gotten crazier since that interview has come out. Do you believe that everyone has the ability to tap into CreativesThe or some people born with this gen quo and some people are just more analytical and and don't have that capability? 0 (3m 24s): Yeah, I would. I would say everybody is a creative, not everybody's an artist per se. However, I think that, yeah, I think we're all born with an innate desire to create and some pe sometimes people's creations could be their business, it could be, it could be spreadsheets. Like I think creating is whatever you're creating from nothing to something and that gives you joy and it puts you into flow state because CreativesThe is, it's a state of mind really creating your life as a state of mind. I just did a video is like, what's the one biggest mindset shift that has revolutionized my life? And it's the mindset of CreativesThe because we're, if we live in a space of CreativesThe, it's CreativesThe is problem solving, CreativesThe is innovation. 0 (4m 7s): CreativesThe is choosing what you want your life to be choosing, taking responsibility for your life, like a hundred percent responsibility for ev. Everything that you create in your life, whether it's good results or bad results, you still created it. So I think CreativesThe is a, it's a mindset really over anything. Art is a whole nother idea, right? Like, you know, and I think there's a lot of artists out there that just haven't even like given themselves the time to develop that art. And so sometimes you don't even know, you know, a lot of times people will say like, oh, I'm not an artist, but like, have you really given yourself the, the time to develop that art? 0 (4m 50s): You know, if that's, that's really, I think if you've given a lot of time to it and then you're just not good, maybe that's not your outlet. However, if you enjoy it, it brings you joy. It doesn't have to, you know, I think it's really about finding what brings you joy and, and a lot of those things are like, you know, what did you use to create as a kid? You know, for me I was, I used drawing and I'm painting as a kid and I enjoyed it. But you know, it's like, and also how much did your parents allow you to, and there's all these different things that I think make that idea. 2 (5m 23s): So how do you start to, I think it's beautiful to go back to your earlier childhood memories and try to find what sparked joy and what was your creative expression like before we kind of calloused up or the world to told us that art is a dead end. Cause I think that's a common narrative we hear a lot is that art's not gonna make you money or there's that, that starving artist mentality or they're just kind of wandering people and it's not disciplined and the more that I've been reading on it. So it's funny cuz a lot of books that you've mentioned, I've had one of my friends throw my way and I'm like, I'm not an artist, I don't need these books. So as I was watching your content, I just felt like it was another sign for me to read those books. 2 (6m 5s): So I quickly did the blinks earlier today of them. I don't know if you know what the blinks Blink app is, but, 0 (6m 12s): Oh, do you, is it like a, is it, I've think I've seen it. Is it just a quick synopsis of the, of of a book? 2 (6m 17s): Yeah, it's incredible. And their library is massive. So I have the books, I will read them, but I did the blinks and one common thread throughout one of them was the, the War of Art, the other one was the Artist's Way. And then one of them was like a stoic, the Art of Living and a common thread throughout all of them was actually Discipline. And like you mentioned Extreme Accountability and taking ownership of, you know, you are creating your reality. And then without those things that, that's kind of what some people were calling either resistance or like almost like hindrances that you put in your own way without knowing, because you wanna avoid failure. So you wanna avoid the thing that everyone told you is going to inevitably happen if you take the creative pathway. 2 (7m 3s): So I guess first, did you have those narratives growing up? Like did you have a supportive system that was that encouraged, that creative outlet, or did you have a lot of undoing there? 0 (7m 13s): Yeah, so it's interesting. I did have a creative outlet. My parents were always very encouraging me to, to play and to create and to draw and do whatever. Like I really, whatever I really wanted. and that was like such a, that was such a blessing. I also grew up in a very conservative Christian upbringing, which is also repressive in and of itself. And it's funny cuz I've been doing a lot of, like, I'm, I'm building out, I do help people with their personal brands and I'm building out a course called Identity Alchemy. And this is kind of one of the biggest things that just came up is like, you know, for me I was making art as a kid because I was repressed in different ways and art was my own way of, of liberating, liberating myself. And then that grew into down the road helping other people, you know, doing photography and helping other people see themselves through what I'm creating in a different medium. 0 (8m 2s): But yeah, like it was this, I I was able, I, I was blessed to be able to have parents who very much encouraged me to, to practice art, to, to play around with it, to do whatever I wanted. And it was just funny how this like, it all kind of just transpired into this other outlet that I didn't even know was happening. It was just like subconsciously happening as I was creating. 2 (8m 23s): Yeah. And I, I would assume that that's an almost like a living, breathing thing that needs to be checked back in on. And it's evolving maybe in ways on its own. I, I find like when I start to create something, whether it's a business or I'm trying to define like what is the podcast? What is the audience, what is the brand behind that? Like who am I trying to reach, what's the personality of the show? It starts to kind of tell you on its own, you can try to control it as much as you want. And then I feel like the, in the beginning, the more control that I was trying to exercise over, I don't know overall aspects of it really the worse it was doing. And then when I kind of just let it be and kind of surrendered to the con to conversation to guests approach things with more Curiosity, the better it did. 0 (9m 8s): Yeah, absolutely. I think when you're coming at it with that mindset of Curiosity and exploration without like, without any attachment to what the results, you start to explore things and you like try one thing and you're like, ah, that didn't work and then you tried this thing and I was like, oh, I like that. I'm gonna do that again. And then like you start to like, that's how you develop a style I believe, you know, and, and you go into a space of like creating a career in art. It's all about having a specific style that people come to you for. And the only way to develop that is to like lead with Curiosity and explore different spaces and see what you keep coming back to and you keep gravitating towards and you kind of build that into like your aesthetic or ethos or whatever that looks like. 0 (9m 49s): It's your brand essentially. When it comes down to it, it's, it's the brand of your perspective on the world. Cuz that's, that's what art is, right? I dunno if you've read, have you read Rick Ruben's new book? It's, it's a creative bible. It's like my, it is my favorite book on CreativesThe. Do you know Rick, who Rick Ruben is 2 (10m 9s): The name sounds super familiar. 0 (10m 11s): He's legend, a legendary producer. So he's produced every major hit album from across every genre from Adele to Jay-Z to like Metallica and like, and he, like artists come to him when they're stuck and they can't that like, maybe it's like a second album that they're, that they like signed a contract for and they're like, they just can't find the album, right? And he has all these just very like zen practices some his what whatever his way of being is that that helps these artists get what they need to get out. He's like a, he's such a, a brilliant, he's a genius in, in that space. And so just in that respect, like there's so much wisdom in that book on CreativesThe and how like how to activate it and how to let it flow and how to let it, you know, guide, you know, create the guide rails for your own creative flow and your own creative output. 2 (11m 3s): What's your approach when you get stuck? 0 (11m 9s): It depends. I mean like, you know, I think getting into a space of art and art for commerce is a whole nother area of differentiation. And for me, I've always kind of created, I've done stuff more for the commerce, which is a lot of the photography stuff my background's doing like a lot of commercial brands like Nike and Reebok and you know, a lot of those brands are less creative but they're a lot of money and that money allows me to go and create the, create the stuff that I want to create. So when I'm creating the stuff that I want to create and I get stuck sometimes it's like about trying a new medium and trying a different creative outlet. I mean that's how I tried to, like I started making hats cuz I was just like, oh, I just wanna try something new, you know, and, and play around. 0 (11m 54s): And I think building a career as an artist, it's like better to focus in one thing first and become known for that and then start playing around with different, different mediums. I was playing around with like hand drawn type and you know, as a graphic designer for five years before I was a photographer. So all, all that stuff's coming into play with everything that I'm doing. So I tend to bounce across different mediums when I feel stuck with one I'll, I'll try, I'll work on another one and then I'll work on another one over here. 2 (12m 21s): So when you, so yeah, when you're developing like brand identities for, for people or identity Alchemy, do you have, do you have like a, a practice of nuance that you encourage them to do? Cuz that was in one of the books too is the importance of nuance. Whether that's taste, like even just tasting something new or taking a different route home. Like we end up in these patterns and these habits kind of not even aware of a lot of them. We just kind of daydream throughout a lot of our, our routine in our life. And then little things like, like taking a different route home can get you o off of that, that habit or that pattern. Like start bringing new awareness into your brain. 0 (13m 0s): Yeah, pattern interrupts are definitely a huge, huge piece and I think there's different ways that it, when I'm working with people, so if I'm doing a photo shoot with somebody for their personal brand, a big pattern interrupt is getting them moving and getting them dancing and getting them outta their comfort zone. But like also it's an element of distraction, right? Like if I get somebody dancing or moving, they get outta their head and they're just like, oh, and then they loosen up, they, it breaks their pa pattern of like stiffening up and sometimes I'll over direct them. It depends on who it is. Everybody's different, right? Like some people are like so comfortable in front of the camera. A lot of it's more about collaboration. Whereas some people are like never been in front of a camera before and I'll, I'll have, I'll give them like so much direction. 0 (13m 43s): They're almost confused In a certain sense, but like that's actually i, it allows me to capture and bring out their essence when they're not as like, not as in their head. So I would say for, for that, that's a big piece of pattern interrupt and like identity Alchemy is now I'm building out this process. I'm, I'm building out this course that's that I'm, it's, I'm deep in this launch right now, which is really funny and it's like talk about feeling stuck and being in my own dojo is like doing marketing stuff and sales stuff is like, so not in my zone of genius but like I, I was just talking about this today. I was like, I keep picking up my phone and scrolling cuz I'm just like avoiding doing all these things and I'm like ah, and like I'm like taking all this stuff in and analyzing it and utilizing it to put into the course as well because you know, there's a whole element like personal development and spirituality's been a really big piece of my journey And so I think as an entrepreneur your personal development really directly affects your business. 0 (14m 44s): So the deeper that you can know yourself and know what you bring to the table and have, you know, figure out what your gifts are that you bring to the world is how you can actually like create more clarity with your personal brand and then tell that story visually as well and visual assets and and things like that. So, you know, it is, there's so many different aspects to this journey. 2 (15m 7s): So coming from a conservative Christian background and now being in more of like the spiritual realm or category, what has that transition been like for you and what modalities have you used to unpack that quintessential who am I before you start creating a brand around it and then undoing maybe certain default settings that you don't know if you wanna keep or toss or evolve. 0 (15m 31s): Yeah, funny you asked that cuz the, this is also, yeah, it's like the identity Alchemy really is the process of personal development and self mastery and it came from exactly what you're talking about is coming from this conservative Christian background and really it took me seven years to let go of the fear of going to hell. You know, deconstructing that and, and like listening and understanding new philosophies and, and talking and having different conversations with people and kind of, you know, after seven years of letting that aspect go, it was another like seven years of of kind of, oh what am I kind of taking in? What do I, who do I want to be or what do I want to believe in this world? 0 (16m 13s): And you know, there was a big, that seven year portion was also this piece of like, oh I, I kind of believe this. I kind of, you know, it was like, it was really reconstructing a whole new identity. So that's kinda what the process is too. It's Deconstruct Curate become, and this is like a process that you can use for anything in your life really as, as well as a personal brand. But it took me, you know, I was like deconstructing my faith, deconstructing my, my belief in Christianity and asking myself questions of like, wait, is this really what I was, this was just like what I was cultured to believe. Like what's this is this was my adopted identity that my parents told me that I needed to, to be or to believe and, but I was like deep down inside I never really believed in that specific like dogmatic piece of the religion, right? 0 (17m 5s): And so deconstructing that and then deconstructing like what is my gift to the world? What do I love to do? Who do I want to be in this world? And then curating and architecting like what does this new me or this new identity look like? And it's really is like I'm still a very spiritual person and I believe there's a lot of similarities. I just, you know, I think there's, but that's taken me years to kind of get to that space and reading different books and kind of, you know, adopting disbelief and that belief and kind of putting it all together And then really now the becoming piece of it, the expression piece of it is who do I get to be? 0 (17m 48s): How do I step into this? How do I embody this? And so that's like a bigger version of the process. And then like little versions of this are happening now. Like even this year I've just been going through this whole identity Alchemy process of deeper Masculinity and presence and I just got LASIK surgery like a month ago, which is wild cuz like I've worn glasses since I was six months old. Wow. And yeah, and I'm 44 now. And so do you 2 (18m 18s): Feel like a piece of you is missing? 0 (18m 20s): I do and I have like these nervous ticks where I keep like going up to grab my glasses and I'm like, oh wait, but I can see like crystal clear now and it's amazing. And with that also has come my girlfriend and I, we did this like ceremony around the surgery and like who am I stepping into as the next version of myself? Like what, what, who am I becoming? And it's like presence and deeper Masculinity and more, you know? Yeah. Just a different type of man. So it's been, yeah. 2 (18m 55s): How has your idea of Masculinity changed? And I guess what was the big, the big contrast between before and after? 0 (19m 3s): It's funny cuz if you look at my Instagram you can, you can definitely see it cause I was wearing hats and glasses and like, it's kind of like more this like hey animated character, which I still, there's pieces of me within that. But now without the glasses I can be a lot more, I'm a lot more open, a lot more vulnerable, a lot more, you know, even if I take off the hat it's like, oh there's, I, I look totally different. And I think this is a, yeah, it's like part of the identity Alchemy piece of it but like yeah being able to be more present and more dropped in and more powerful. I think that's a big piece of it. And especially being in this relationship that's, it's teaching me a lot of masculine feminine dynamics of you know, even diving into like sacred sexuality and things like that. 0 (19m 53s): You know, that's also a new space for me cuz I grew up in a space of no sex before marriage driven down my throat for however many years and 2 (20m 3s): Right. So the concept that sex could be sacred is, is very nuanced for a lot of people. You're like wait I thought that was sinful only within a very specific type parameter can it exist? So the idea that you're allowed to play with it and it can be this very powerful connection and even spiritual experience, a lot of people are like, well that sounds a little witchy I'm not sure about. 0 (20m 27s): Yeah. And I've been really diving into, there's these two teachers, John Weinland and Justin Patrick Pierce who I just hired as a coach around all of this stuff. And it's so much about masculine feminine energetics to deepen your relationship in a polarity sense of like a deeper polarity. And this is all like very new in this space cause there's not a lot of, I mean I've, there's not been a lot of women that I've been, that I've dated who have been interested in this type of thing until now. And so it's, it's a whole different ballgame and that's a whole nother piece of self-mastery on my that I wanna learn how to like deepen and, and to be more fully expressed in that area. 0 (21m 9s): And I've had to shed a lot of my old IDE Christian identity of like shedding those old belief systems that like sex isn't okay, sex is bad, sex is wrong. And to now where it's like oh it's completely spiritual and magical and you can access different, you know, space spaces of consciousness through it. 2 (21m 29s): Which they have verified that like there are altered states of consci consciousness whether you are meditating and you're in like this theta or alpha or with some people like a very deep delta but they're not actually asleep. The same can happen with sex. So it is really interesting you do see these pioneers out there. Emily's actually one of them that's kind of getting into Pleasure prayer. So that's actually why she was out here is we did a like a, not really a one-on-one cause my husband also participated but she kind of taught us her protocol around Pleasure prayer and using your Pleasure as a means for manifestation, which is just crazy and very bold because a lot of people are, you know what I mean, gonna have their judgments around it. 2 (22m 13s): But you have the ability to reframe what you want sexuality to mean to you or Masculinity to mean to you or what kind of polarity you want within your relationship. So I think it's amazing that you're very consciously going into those things cuz so many people it's just default, this is the way that we're supposed to interact, this is the rules of our relationship without even investigating do I want these to be the rules of my relationship? Is this the dynamic that I want with my partner? So when with your girlfriend now, how have you gotten to a space where you're comfortable bringing these topics up to her about sacred sexuality or polarity play or anything like that? 0 (22m 53s): Honestly, she, she's one who's like, she's been studying this stuff for like seven years and she teaches like quantum manifestation and healing and, and all of that stuff. So, you know, she's been in this work for a long time. So I, in a sense I feel like I'm just catching up, which is great. You know, this is like I, I feel it's, it's also like I've, I've looked into this stuff before but I never had really had anybody that was wanting to to practice and I, now I do. So that's a beautiful thing. And so yeah, it's been a deep initiation as well and you know, discovering my own, you know, feelings and ceilings and pushing through those ceilings. 0 (23m 36s): I was like, I, I feel like I've been, I was talking to my friend, I was like, I feel like actually no, I was talking to her and I was like, I'm in this dojo of everything right now. It's like pu I'm pushing my edges across so many across like launching this course across this relationship across like, you know, moving to Austin, you know, picking up and moving and like so many things and it's so much growth but I feel like I'm just like, ugh. Which is, it's great. I mean I'm all about self mastery and growth and otherwise like life would be so boring if you're just doing the same thing every day and not growing, not learning. 2 (24m 15s): Yeah, if you're not growing you're rotting. 0 (24m 18s): Totally. Absolutely. 2 (24m 20s): How do you get comfortable with the edges? So for me, I, I always consider myself a very risk averse person and I started taking like these little, have you heard of the I am driven test or like your Colby score or any of those kinds of tools? I've heard 0 (24m 38s): Of the Colby, I haven't heard of the I am driven one before. 2 (24m 41s): Okay so the, I am driven one, it's basically to assess the, it'll give you the 95% of the population. It's like this little gray circle and then where you fall in relationship to the populace. So are you within that gray circle, are you an outlier in one or many or all areas? And it I believe is kind of an assessment of if you have a D D or A D H D and there's a link between that and high functioning Creatives and just like very successful entrepreneurs, like they were saying something like, like a very high percentage of high performers will actually be in like this red outward bubble. So I took all these tests because of this person that I met and he wanted me to do 'em before a phone call. 2 (25m 22s): And I was like, I'm probably gonna be, I don't have a d d, I don't have any of these things. Well according to my Colby score and I am driven, I'm supposed to be this crazy risk taker. And I look at previous careers and I was like, okay, well maybe this could have been defined as risky behavior. I just wasn't identifying a as it. And then I realized where I have so much fear almost subconsciously around taking Risks, especially around business that's not even mine. It's like scarcity mindset may be given to me by a parent that was too scared to take Risks themselves. So I've had to reestablish what I want around risk taking and being bold and being creative and say like, no I can be this person that can be comfortable on the edges and take Risks. 2 (26m 4s): I just have to unpack a lot of my previous programming. So what was your route to being able to develop these courses and start new businesses and be a very successful photo photographer and creative? 0 (26m 16s): Yeah, I think, I think part of it was also that like thinking that like always I feel like there's more, you know, it was like when I was younger it was like, and I was in this religion, I was always like, there feels like something more. and that was like that this Curiosity of the world. And then I started, then I started traveling and traveling started opening my eyes to what was out there and then, then I read, I read Tim Ferris's four, Hour Workweek a long, long time even when I was like 21 or whatever. and that was so much of a eye-opening piece of like, oh I can design my life the way that I want to. And so I've always had that philosophy and so I think there's just always been like part of that creative mindset for me was just like taking Risks and not like one of my first, when I got into photography I convinced a non-profit design client of mine to split the expenses on a trip to Africa to build them a photo library. 0 (27m 11s): And I had no idea what I was doing. I was like, I could do, I could do this. I just like figured it out as I went. And that's probably also, it's like the creative problem solving on the fly, right? Like you're always gonna figure it out, right? And then I, I also think there's like a belief in like the universe or whatever that like everything, like obviously like we cr our thoughts create our reality, right? So if we believe that everything's gonna wor is working out for us, there is that element to you're, you're also shifting and shaping your reality with that belief system as well. Which is also a creative, that creative mindset. So you're creating a reality through your thoughts and through your emotions. I dunno if you have used, have you looked into Joe Dispenza much? 2 (27m 53s): Yeah, I am actually like rereading a bunch of his stuff right now. His work is fascinating and a lot of the examples he gives are gonna sound sci-fi but they are 100% real based off of actual studies or even like personal anecdotal evidence is just mind blowing on how much you can shift in just like eliminating negative self-talk and how we're making ourselves sick and yeah, I highly recommend all of his books to everybody. 0 (28m 21s): Yeah, becoming Supernatural changed my life. I was that, that book was so fascinating to me because it brought the science behind all the woohoo stuff that I've, you've heard about this new ag stuff, this woo stuff. But like his work just really helped me kind of understand that from a scientific perspective and to see what they're doing now, like it is incr is insane. I've talked to people who have been to his workshops and they're like, people are getting up outta wheelchairs and healing cancer and just through meditation And so, and he also talks about like when your thoughts and intentions match your elevated emotions, it's when you start creating and manifesting. I'm sure Emily talked a lot about this as well and 2 (28m 60s): Exactly. Yeah, she was using him as an example and she's, I guess she's done some of his seminars and she was like, well he's, he's doing something very similar to what she's doing but she's just bringing Pleasure into it. So it's like if you could do one without the other why or if you could do one and have it be more pleasurable, why not? And her theory that Pleasure is this very heightened state. Like it's this, it is one of the most heightened states. So it's just a massive magnifier for manifestation. 0 (29m 27s): Yeah, exactly. Sex, sex magic is, it is, it's Pleasure is like a high frequency. So if you're like creating from that space and creating from that emotion, then you are creating your reality from that space. And so going back to what we were talking about Creation, Creation is also in the thought space and the emotion space. And so I think creating thoughts that are positive, you know, that you're gonna be, you're gonna be okay that like you're, everything's like working out for you. These things also help, I don't wanna say mitigate risk, but they ship shape shift you from taking those Risks or having it be such a risk I should say. 2 (30m 11s): So what was your biggest change after reading his work? Like were you, were you going through like any health issues or was it more like mindset based? 0 (30m 21s): For me it was mindset. I was going through a really big dark night of the Soul. I had come out of a breakup and I was like trying to figure out bus my business stuff and I was just dark. I just like, I'd never been in a dark night of the Soul. Well I've been to, I was in one probably like 10 years ago ish. Yeah. And then like this was another, like I was in another one, this was like a lot deeper cuz I was just like, what is the point of anything? This is all made up. Like I was just in this really dark space. I did some psychedelics and I was a bu I did bufo which was like, I don't have, I don't know if you're familiar. 2 (30m 57s): I know, yeah I haven't done it but you can tell the listeners. 0 (31m 0s): Yeah, Bufo is is from a toad. It's like a, it blasts you off into like everything. And I was like, I did that for the first time and I was like, wow, if this is out there then. And I came back and I was like, what are we doing here? If that exists, what are we doing here? And it was just, it created a little bit of a, because I was already in a dark night of the Soul, it already created, they kind of created this spa like a deeper dark night. And then I discovered, then I discovered Breathwork and Breathwork was a huge piece of what like brought me back to like I don't normality or whatever you wanna call it. And I was accessing similar states on the Breathwork as I was in the, in the D M T experience. 0 (31m 43s): So I was doing that for a while and then I was, I was on this road trip, I, I went on this road trip from Napa to Seattle where my family lived and I got becoming Supernatural was just an audible suggestion and I was like, I wanna become Supernatural. So I bought it and I listened to it and I was like, whoa. I like flew through the whole book blew my mind. And I think for me it was just like, it created so much understanding around like energy and emotions and it brought it all together for me in a new way to where I was like, oh I understand like how to the, how to utilize the metaphysical to the physical and how that kind of works now. 0 (32m 23s): So it just gave me a whole new perspective on life and thought Creation and what life or just like Creation in this hologram, 2 (32m 31s): Yeah, highly recommend to everyone. I, I've been going back and forth with this, this thyroid issue, which is what got me to start revisiting his books again. Cause I'm like, well something's happening and I know that I've done it before, like I've gotten into remission before, like I know I can do it again and I, I've finished becoming Supernatural, I'm almost done rereading. You are the Placebo and I'm back to like my baseline level. So like knock on wood it sticks there. But like personal anecdotal level, like I've done serious thyroid remission from reading his books and doing his meditations and just like doing a mind detox like a, like a like going in and auditing your mind and your thoughts and seeing how much of that is just automatically negative and how much of it is positive and you are like your worst critic to yourself all of all day. 2 (33m 22s): Like at least I am, I'm my worst critic all day to myself. 0 (33m 25s): Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Did you have thyroid cancer? 2 (33m 29s): No, not cancer. So I have Graves disease, which is hyperactive thyroid autoimmune disorder. Basically it's just like running rampant. And then I had my second baby and it actually flipped and went into Hashimotos. So basically crazy underactive. And then I ended up getting really depressed because of it. Cuz your thyroid just controls so much of your body and your thoughts and almost, I dare say personality, like if it's really off you'd become a different person and it's like the most frustrating out of body experience because deep inside like you're like I know I'm not these things and like this isn't how I show up to this or this isn't how I react, but I'm still doing it. 2 (34m 9s): It's, yeah, it's a really trippy for someone who hasn't experienced it. So I was determined to try to figure it out cause there's no cure to any of it and the medication works or it doesn't work and it's like you can, yeah, you have the power within you to Heal a lot of things that people act like you can't. 0 (34m 25s): Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. My, my girlfriend had thyroid cancer and basically like she had it taken out but like she was healed herself through all these modalities as well. Like she wasn't gonna get well and then she, she met with this doctor or like a, I don't know, like a naturopathic doctor kind of and started doing all these different meditations and different holistic practices and basically healed their self. 2 (34m 54s): What's really interesting with that too is if you do take the thyroid out, they've done some studies where they reinvestigate the area and they realize that up to 30% of the thyroid tissue can actually still be in, in your body. So it'll attach to different parts of like that area. So even though the thyroid's not there, if you are doing these meditations and you're focusing on hormone production, that you can actually create it still naturally within your body because like there are still remnants there even though they thought they took the whole thing out, which is really cool. 0 (35m 26s): Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, there's, I mean there's also, yeah, it goes into like thought patterns and traumas and things like that as well. 2 (35m 35s): Yeah, highly, highly recommend. And the Breathwork piece is really interesting because I feel like a lot of us have adopted meditation, so a lot of people kind of understand all of the benefits, whether it's for mental clarity performance, general wellbeing, and now Breathwork I feel like is the next thing that's starting to get that adoption. What is the Breathwork that you choose to do? Like what's your favorite Breathwork protocol? 0 (35m 58s): I mean the one that I do most, most is like a whim H style. Do you know what, you know, whim H I'm just, 2 (36m 3s): Yeah, yeah, yeah. My, we have ACO Forge outside, so my husband does it right before and then while he gets in the ice bath and I just watch and chuckle while he does it cause it's, I love watching it. So funny. 0 (36m 15s): Yeah, I created, when I was going through the dark night of the Soul, I, somebody had sh I've done it before his, his Breathwork. But I was, I was at this event and this guy was like, oh, I'd studied Wim h if you guys, I can lead a, a Breathwork session. And he did it and it was, we did it laying down with the, with the lights down and music going and like I mask and it was completely shifted the whole experience and it was like, oh this is amazing. I gotta like start doing this. So that's kind of what I started doing it every day doing this at like six rounds of it. And then I eventually created my own like track like guiding track so that it could be more meditative like with my voice over the timestamps of, of each of, of each round and everything. 0 (36m 58s): And that's really like the thing I, I do that one the most. I've done other modalities, like I've done holotropic Breathwork and then I'll do other more calming, you know, different types of like breath to calm, the nervous system, things like that. But if I'm doing Breathwork, it's typically the, the Moff style. 2 (37m 19s): There's this app you should check out, I'm not sure if you've tried using it or not. It's called other Ship and it's amazing. So they incorporate a lot of movement and music into it and he has like a couple studios throughout the country and I think he's trying to open up one in New York if it hasn't opened up yet. But it like, it's this very full body experience, which I like. And they have cool couples ones or if you can't sleep, they have those, they have manifestation ones. So they have really cool categories for you to like focus your Breathwork on the holotropic one is, is T trippy cuz you can have like Psychedelic like experiences if you do it for long enough. I have not gotten there yet, but I've bet we did it at like this live summit kind of a thing and everyone else is just like freaking out and having this wild ride and I'm like, why is this not working for me? 2 (38m 7s): So I haven't gotten there yet, but I've seen it happen, which is really cool. 0 (38m 10s): That's cool. That's cool. Yeah, I haven't had fully Psychedelic experiences. I, I was in Tulum, we did a Breathwork session, I had a little bit of Psychedelic experience towards the, at the end it wasn't a holotropic it was kind of, it was like very intense, like breathing for like 30 minutes or something like that straight. And then when I laid down I was like, I saw like the energy moving, it was like a Psychedelic, I saw like colors and Psychedelic movement in my field, which was cool. 2 (38m 38s): Did you get the lobster hands? 0 (38m 40s): I have not on this one, but I have definitely gotten lobster hands many times. 2 (38m 44s): Yeah. Yeah. I was doing it next to my husband and while it wasn't, it was definitely user error cuz I was probably one of the very few people that wasn't either like clenched up or having like some kind of a trip. I looked over at him and he is just like a little T-rex with his lobster hands. I'm like, well I know it's working cuz he's not full of it. So if it's working for him, I know this thing is real. It just has, has to do with me and my lack of ability to surrender into, into the experience. So something to be worked on for sure. 0 (39m 13s): Yeah, for sure. And I think I noticed too sometimes it's like how deep the, the breaths are going. If you're like breathing like, like really deep, I'll get, like I'll feel oxygen going through and I'll get the, the T-Rex hands a lot more than if I'm, if I'm not breathing as deep. 2 (39m 31s): That's Yeah, I'll, I'll try that and take note of that. And then I was, I saw, speaking of Breathwork, it was, do you know what's his name? Max Lulu? I Max, yes. He was tweeting today. So they did a study, it's a relatively new one and for people that were practicing Breathwork, which was like fa it was really simple. Wasn't anything crazy like holotropic where there's like a strict protocol. It was simple. Five seconds in, five seconds out for two weeks they saw a decline in proteins associated with Alzheimer's, which is incredible. 0 (40m 2s): Wow. Right. 2 (40m 2s): That's great. So like if you don't, if you're not looking to do any of this trippy hippie stuff, even for that, for longevity, it's good for that. So definitely check out some breathing exercises, people. 0 (40m 14s): Yeah, I'm definitely down in like all of this stuff. It's, it's the most deep activated, like the more you can get into your body and the more you can activate and ground, you know, it's, it just activates different things within your cells and within your mental state and all of that stuff. 2 (40m 32s): So Dark Knight of the Soul, is that, is that a retreat or is that like what, can you elaborate on that? 0 (40m 42s): Right, 2 (40m 42s): Like Aubrey has a movie, isn't it called that or something 0 (40m 45s): That's different. Ok, that's, that's a Darkness retreat. Ok. Dark Night of the Soul, it was like an a yearlong retreat for me in my own 2 (40m 54s): Space. 0 (40m 56s): So I didn't even know what the dark night of the Soul was. And I had gone through this breakup and I was just like, I was reading all these books, I was like, but I just was like, so had no motivation for anything. I didn't want to do anything. I was just like, what's the point of any of this? It was just the space that I was in this, this timeframe that I was in and I was just like, how do I get out of this? You know, it was like, I just want to feel good again. But I wasn't, I just felt dark. I was like, and then when I found this, I then I did the D M T and then I, I discovered the Breathwork and then I was looking up ho I was started researching Holotropic Breathwork and I came across Stan Lav gra who's the founder of it. 0 (41m 42s): And then I found this group on Facebook and then I saw that one of my friends was in this group and that, so I messaged him and I was like, Hey, so like tell me about Breathwork, tell me about this stuff. And he's like, yeah, I went through a dark night of the Soul and I was like, it really helped me. And I was like, what is a dark night of the Soul? And he was like, it's just this space where you go through, you know, where you just kind of at your, it's like a, a low in your life where you just can't see the point of anything. It's like you're not depressed, you don't want to, you don't, you're not suicidal but you just like are in a really, really dark unmotivated space. And so I googled it and I was like, I saw, I took this, saw this test, I took this test on some website and I was like, yeah, that's me. 0 (42m 26s): I was like, I feel like I don't want to do anything. I don't wanna like, I barely even wanna get outta bed and like all these different things. And I was like, that's not like me. Like I've never been like this before. And so it is, it's, it's actually a thing. The dark Knight of the Soul is a thing. It's like a thing that you go through where you know, it's, and it's like a rock bottom type of space where you just don't want to do anything. You don't feel like you wanna get outta bed and you don't, can't see the point of of life, you know, for me it was, I couldn't see the point of life and of like, like what are we doing here? This is all just fabricated, this is all just made up. Like we're literally just here existing as humans on this planet. 0 (43m 6s): What's the point? That's like, kind of like the space that I was in. And so that's why it was like, it, it was, I needed to go through that, you know, to come out on the other side. And that's like a big space of discovering the spiritual world, the spirituality piece of it, discovering the Breathwork, discovering all these different modalities that have deep, like created more depth in my own life. More depth, more expression. And you know, I've come to a whole new space of like, yeah, like I want to be, I wanna live this life fully expressed, I wanna live this life to the best that it can possibly be and and be in that. So that is different than a darkness retreat, which is a new thing now. 0 (43m 52s): I think that, I think Aubrey started it and like Aubrey started kind of like the trend of it, but like there's different darkness retreats. I know Emily just did it as well and my friend Blue did it and a few other people like Aaron Rogers did it and it's like you go into complete darkness for like, I think it's like three to five days you could be even up to 10 days and you literally are just like completely deprived of anything visual obviously. And so it, it pushes you into, it's like another kind of almost medicine, you know, it's like kind of doing plant medicine or it's like it'll push things up to the surface for you to like learn and to grow from and I've never done it before. 0 (44m 37s): Maybe I'll do it. 2 (44m 38s): Do you have any interest? 0 (44m 40s): I've thought about it. Yeah, 2 (44m 42s): I could 0 (44m 42s): Probably do like a three day, I don't know if I could do 10. A friend of mine, the guys that led the Breathwork down in Tulum a few weeks ago was he, he did like a 10 day darkness retreat and I was like, bro 2 (44m 54s): That's 0 (44m 54s): Intense. 2 (44m 55s): Yeah, maybe, maybe. Yeah, not for me. I don't think that's my jam. I was telling Emily that cuz she, she was fresh out of it when she got here. I think she said she was out for like a day or two. So like the first thing she did just come out here and practice like Pleasure prayer and podcast. So like you're really just jumping right back into the real world after that. And she was I think still kind of processing her experience, which I bet like that's, that's brave and bolded. I was telling her, I was like, I don't know if that's gonna be my modality. I brought it up. I have like this kind of like mentor teacher guy that I work with for mostly for like spiritual work and I asked him about the Darkness retreats. I was like, oh, have you heard of these things? 2 (45m 36s): I think they're new. And he's like, he's in his seventies. He's like, oh. He's like, oh you young kids just rediscovering ancient knowledge. And he starts going into it and I'm like, well it's good, it's good that young people are rediscovering these things because I haven't heard of it before. So it's great to have someone that has a very large platform like Aubrey to be like bringing ancient wisdom back to like the pop culture if you will. 0 (46m 2s): Yeah, totally. And I think, I think it's, you know, with the exchange of information nowadays and, and social media, it's like making all this stuff a lot more relevant again, you know, before it was just like ancient mystery schools and ancient mystery traditions and that you would have to like know the right people to talk to and understand it. And now it's like we have all these people that are sharing their experiences and making it more widespread and more, more accepted, which is great. 2 (46m 30s): Yeah. You talked about about having your Psychedelic experience and then going back into the real world and then my interpretation of that was like very disorienting, which I've kind of experienced myself too in like in a similar fashion, which is you can get like overstimulated or things don't make sense or you might see someone who gets just so enraged at something and you're just kind of this observant. You're like, what is that about? That's not real. Is there something that you had wish was part of like an Integration protocol or some way to have made that a little bit easier or less disorienting or easier to take the, take the lessons with you and not have to try to like piece everything back together? 0 (47m 12s): Yeah, you know, I think the first, my first experience, like I did it with a guide and he was like, you know, trying to help me with Integration. I didn't even know what, I didn't even know what that meant. I didn't even know what Integration was. And I think maybe if I had known, had a little bit more context around Integration beforehand and that knowing that it was like a thing that I needed to do would've been more helpful. I think as I've done more journeys since then, I've, Integration has definitely become like a big part of it and I integrated a lot faster than I used to, you know, unless it's like a week of medicine. 0 (47m 53s): I did this, I did this, I went to this retreat, this medicine retreat back in 2021 actually with Blue. We were, we were both on the same retreat. It was like so funny and random synchronistic 2 (48m 5s): Oh was, wasn't planned? 0 (48m 7s): No, well no, like we literally, like I've, I've met her once before and we'd kind of been in each other's orbits but didn't really never like spend any time together and like literally just like bonded on that trip. But it was intense. We did ta Mascal and then we did two nights of peyote and then we did a did Bufo and then we did two nights of Ayahuasca all within like six days and it was so intense. And then I got back to New York and I was like, oh my god, horns and, and Puerto Rican like s driving by my shaking my apartment. Ah, You know, so like, yeah, Integration is definitely like a thing that can be jar, it can be jarring to like come back to a city and not be in nature right afterwards, but you don't always have that luxury. 0 (48m 58s): But I think Integration is it, it it is what you need to do because so many people get, so they go on all these like, almost like medicine, they're just always doing medicine but not integrating the learnings and not integrating what they're finding into everyday life. And so I think that's important to, to do when you're doing medicine journeys like that. 2 (49m 21s): Yeah, it's, it makes me think of how Shavasana is. They say like the most important pose in yoga and from someone who doesn't practice yoga or is unfamiliar, it's the pose where you just lay there, the dead man's pose, you're literally on your back with your palms up and just being and listening like you're in a space of just like receiving. And I think when you're doing something like psychedelics or even like any kind of really intense personal development that you have to have the equivalent of that Shavasana. So you have to have the quiet and the space to process and integrate and not constantly be trying to do or solve or Heal. Because in that doing, it's almost like you're like subconsciously running away from something if you are, if that's your constant, if there's not time for a break in an Integration and a processing and then you're kind of in my mind like undoing the thing that you're trying to do, which is to Heal or to get through trauma or to maybe use it as a creative outlet, whatever it is. 2 (50m 19s): But there is a beautiful necessity and stillness. 0 (50m 23s): Yeah, absolutely. I can, I resonate with that. Just like letting everything kind of sink in and taking the time to do that. Taking the time to like rest and absorb and receive and, and feel that moment. 2 (50m 39s): I guess the last bit that I wanna get into with you is there's this idea of muses when it comes to CreativesThe and something like the muse just like shows up to you or that and that this is where the Discipline kind of ties in is that, I forget which writer they used as the example, but he was like, I only write when I'm inspired and that just happens to be every day at 9:00 AM And it is that you can't just wait for Inspiration to strike you. That you do have to have a little bit of Discipline for it, for the environment to be friendly for Creation. So when it comes to the very first step, which is just getting inspired or just like trying to find what is the thing that I'm going to create, is there something that you've kind of, that you've figured out for your course that you're recommending to people? 2 (51m 25s): Maybe someone has like a nine to five job that they absolutely hate, but they're like, I don't know what I'm gonna do next. Like what is The First Step to Creation 0 (51m 32s): The First Step to Creation. Well, I think there's, there can be different arenas of that, right? If you're creating in a space of wanting to, to live your dharma, I think it is like figuring out what is your dharma part of the course is like deconstructing, like I was talking about your adopted identity, like the identity that your parents, your society like that told you that you needed to be. And then deconstructing your natural identity of like, okay, who, what do I love to do? How do I love, what gifts do I have? What, what is it that I, what message do I wanna share with the world? And how do I create from that space? Right? I think that's like finding what inspires you. 0 (52m 12s): You know, a lot of times it's like people teach what they need to Heal and or be liberated from. And so if you've overcome something in your life or you need, you want to overcome something that you feel like is holding you back, then maybe that's an area of space to look at, is to overcome that and learn how to, how you did it and teach that to the world. I think that's one arena of this is like kind of more what I'm teaching in the course is, is doing that as like a living your dharma into a personal brand space and translating that into making money with that and like standing out above, you know, standing out in a, in a space of, of a personal brand. 0 (52m 54s): And I would say like in a actual space of CreativesThe, the muse, it does, it shows up at different times. It's like, well I never, like, it's one of the reasons, like I've never wanted to, I never like working by the hour because like, you know, I could get a hit and it, you know, it's like when I make a hat, it's like sometimes it'll take me 10 hours to make a hat and it it'll spread out over like a span of four weeks. You know? Cause it's like, oh, I get an idea and then I add it to the hat and I get an idea and I add it to this. And so I think there's, the muse does come at different times or different spaces or you see something, you see something that inspires you. So that there is no, i I think also probably knowing yourself, like you're this guy that you're talking about, it's like 9:00 AM every day. 0 (53m 43s): Oh, okay. Great. And for me, like I know that I operate, my mind operates the, the, at the most optimal state from like eight to like noon, eight to like one or two in terms of like work that I have to do that's like thinking and creative and, and things. So I plan like, you know, you know, in my days, like I'll plan podcasts and photo editing and probably even hat making kind of towards the end of the day when I'm not, my brain isn't, is doesn't have to be so sparked for creating and writing and things like that. 2 (54m 20s): No, I love that. I've, I've heard something really similar, which is if you were to look at a Venn diagram and you had trauma and your skill and then that overlap would be your purpose or like your mission. And I love that so much because it's, it's positive psychology. So it's like taking something that has this negative charge and then turning it into something beautiful that has contribution to it, which I think a lot of people are looking for. Maybe not even knowingly, like, well I'm not feeling fulfilled in whatever this is. So it's being able to find some kind of something like above yourself that's giving back in some form or another. And usually if you look at it, you know, a previous wound or a trauma, that's a beautiful way. Cuz a lot of us probably share that. 0 (55m 1s): Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I think that's, and that's like also what my girlfriend teaches. She's like, what, you know, how to Heal through things is what you, when you Heal through things is, is usually what you become an expert in. And when you become an expert in it, then you can, you obviously can teach that and it can be your mission and to help other people Heal through Heal through the same thing or whatever that is. I mean, it could be, you know, anything that you learn and you, you become an expert at and then you can teach other people to do it. and that can be your, your purpose and your life path and give you give you more meaning to, to your life and to what you're creating in the world. 2 (55m 40s): Well Nick, this was incredible. Before we take off, do you wanna tell the listeners where they can follow you, how they can support you and any projects that you're working on? 0 (55m 49s): Yeah, I would say Instagram is probably the good hub. It's at Nick Onken and I C k O N k E N. My website is Onken dot co. And yeah, if you're, I'm doing a free masterclass and we're just doing the course and photo shoots and all that stuff so you can find all that in for info on the gram. I think that's probably the easiest, most up-to-date way to do it. 2 (56m 12s): Awesome. Well this was great and I'm, maybe I'll bump into you in Austin someday. 0 (56m 18s): Yeah, no doubt. Ab absolutely. 2 (56m 20s): And that's it for this week's episode of Chatting with Candace. Before you go, if you haven't left five Star Review, please do that. It helps me a ton. It takes one minute, you can just click the five stars. You don't even have to type. If you are on the go, I greatly appreciate it. And if you like this or any other episodes, if you could share it with your friends, family and socials, all of those things help us become discovered. We are the little podcast that could and I'll see you next week. Bye everybody.