#89 Sara Grynberg - Why Your Prayers Aren't Being Answered

0 (0s): My old self died a decade ago when I decided I didn't wanna be that person that was suffering so much anymore and was in that job that they didn't like and had a hundred million negative thoughts going around in their mind. That person that Sarah died and then I was reborn again in the same life. 2 (21s): Hello everybody. You are listening to Chatting with Candace. I'm your Host Candice Horbacz. As usual, we are gonna go through our protocol before we hop into the episode. So if you have not hit like and subscribe, please do that so you're notified anytime we have new content. It also helps with the algorithm and if it's been a minute since you have left a five star review or if you haven't at all, it takes one second. So hit that five star review button and you can even just leave a little smiley face. You don't have to type anything long. It really truly does help the podcast grow and I could not do this without all of you. And thank you so much ahead of time. We are gonna do our shout outs really quick before we jump in. So I wanted to do the coffee shout outs. If you wanna contribute to the podcast, you can go to Chatting with Candice dot com and you can either click that link that says Buy me a coffee or the Patreon. 2 (1m 7s): Both go directly into the podcast. If you join the Patreon, you get early access to episodes and you get to ask questions to the guests before they come on. So coffee shout outs. I wanna do a big shout out to Ultra Magnus. Thank you for those cups of coffee to Roger and to Keith. Thank you so very much for them. I really appreciate it goes right back in and helps the podcast grow and it goes into editing. Honestly, this week we have the incredible Sara Grynberg joining the podcast. So Sarah hosts the wildly successful podcast called The Life of Greatness. If you haven't checked it out, I highly recommend it. She has some really heavy hitters in the spiritual space and the personal development space. 2 (1m 48s): It's an amazing podcast. She's also a bestselling author, international Key Keynote Speaker. And I am so excited to have this conversation. I have been doing a lot of retreats and spiritual personal development workshops, so the timing of this recording is awesome. I really hope you enjoy the episode. Let's jump in. Sarah, thank you so much for coming on the podcast today. As I was just saying, I was so excited and looking forward to this because I feel you and I have so much overlap. Your podcast is incredible, your conversations are incredible, so I'm very excited for this. 0 (2m 22s): Thank you for having me. It's a pleasure to be on your podcast. 2 (2m 25s): Thank you. So I'm gonna start off with my easiest question, which is what are you here to do? 0 (2m 33s): What am I here to do? Yeah, well you know, in life I feel like I'm here to educate people so they can live their greatest life possible. I, you know, I really feel that when I got into the work that I'm doing about personal development and mindset and allowing people to overcome negative emotions, that it was teaching people how to live their greatest existence. And then the feedback to me was just tenfold in how I felt so grateful to be able to be in a position that I was helping people and then that helped me live my greatest life. 0 (3m 13s): It's like when you know that you are following your dharma, it's just such a beautiful feeling cuz it feels so right. And when you're doing that you get to sprinkle that onto everyone that you come into contact with. So yes, that's what I feel like I'm here to do. 2 (3m 28s): I would, yeah, I would agree with that very much so. It's like I feel like for me, when I was first getting into this space of personal development and changing your mindset, spirituality, immediately I just saw how amazing my changes were in like internally and externally. I was like, this is what I've been waiting for my whole life and I just have to share it with everybody. And sometimes it might've been a bit of a forceful share where you try to like really help someone. It's almost like you're one foot down the path from someone else and you're like, oh, there's a pothole. Don't step in that. And you try so hard to just like tell the person behind you about the pothole, but they just refuse to listen And then it's, I'm getting to a place where Leading, Through Inspiration rather than like telling or suggesting. 2 (4m 16s): Yes. Cause if someone's not asking for like their roadmap, it's just they're not, they're not ready for that next step. 0 (4m 23s): Absolutely. And I think, I think what you said about Inspiration is so correct. Like I always try to be the best person I can and then let people look at what I'm doing and gain some wisdom from that to be able to change themselves rather than forcing them and telling them that they should be a certain way. I mean it's that whole idea that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. And I think people get quite resentful if you tell them to change, especially when they're not ready. But if you inspire them then it's up to them to then make that change. And that's a really beautiful thing because you know, none of us like forcing people to do something they don't want to do. 0 (5m 5s): And we see it with kids, right? You told me you had two kids, I also have two kids that are young. When you're a mother it's different. Your kids are young so you're teaching them everything. But when you're dealing with adults, they make their own decisions in life. And what I've learned, which can be hard at times when we really love people and we just want them to live their greatest existence, is that it's up to them to make the change. And sometimes their mind, their heart might want to, but their mind just can't get around that and it's their journey. So we have to let them live that journey themselves. 2 (5m 41s): You see that a lot too in romantic relationships where you have the one person that they say that they're working on themselves and they, they're trying to like fix that relationship or fix something within their partner. And I had this conversation with someone just earlier today and she was like, well he does all of these bad behaviors and I'm trying to get him to stop and there's like addiction. And I, I had the tough response which was like, well first of all you can work on him but if you don't work on yourself once that relationship eventually implodes as they all have and like in your pattern, you're just gonna find another replacement that's very similar. Yes. So my like my perspective is you work on yourself and then everything else will start to kind of change externally and it's not about the other person, right? 2 (6m 28s): Again, you can't like force change onto someone else. And then the really tough question of why are you bringing this into your reality or why are you creating this? And she did not like that feedback and I don't, I'm curious about your perspective as far as Manifestation and Creating Your, Own Reality and like thoughts become things. How, how do you help someone navigate that really tough pill to swallow? 0 (6m 53s): Well I think, I think everything you're saying I totally agree with and I think in relationships or even, you know, recently there was someone who was quite close to me that became unwell and how can you tell someone that they create their own diseases can be so hard for people to hear. And you know, I even sometimes still try and get my head around that idea. But when you're in the belief of that, it means that if you can create illness, you can create health as well. So what do I need to do to be able to create that? And obviously through Manifestation techniques, a lot of the really the full on work needs to be done with the whole, you know, am I enough? 0 (7m 40s): How do you view yourself and the subconscious mind and the techniques around rewiring that, which you know, I mean there are so many techniques that we could go into that I've learned about doing that. And a lot of them, you know, some are therapy, just going to talk therapy and stuff. There's something I did the other day called psych k I don't know if you've heard of that before. Bruce Lipton actually taught me about it when he came on my podcast. And it's all about the way that you, it's all about rewiring the subconscious mind and you sit there with an instructor and they get you to sit in certain positions and it's called energy healing and actually did, did it with someone over zoom and they tell you to say certain affirmations depending on what you wanna work on and then they get you to hold your body in a certain position cuz it's like right brain and left brain positioning that you know, then go into the subconscious mind. 0 (8m 34s): But none of this is a quick fix. So there are things like that. There are things like listening, doing affirmations in your own voice and listening to them whilst you sleep at night because that's when the subconscious mind turns on and the conscious mind is asleep. So there are a heap of different things that we can do, but the whole idea is that we need to rewire those beliefs, those negative beliefs that we have about ourselves that sometimes we might not even realize are there. And you know, a lot of illness comes from not feeling good enough or not feeling enough and maybe living a life where you felt that you were unheard or you didn't do in life what you wanted to do, you did in life what other people wanted you to do. 0 (9m 16s): And so you've gotten to a point where life is reflecting at you that you have a time to change and you are going through hardship, but how can you mend that to be able to get on the other side of that and then live your greatest existence. So yes, I do agree with you once you are on that other side and I feel that you start to level up a bit and you're not that person that you used to be that as you mentioned, relationships and things can start imploding but that might not actually a bad be a bad thing because as soon as you change, you are gonna attract that same vibration to you that you are now at. And it happens a lot in friendships and stuff as well. I see, you know, a lot of people that might do a lot of inner work or they go to these big retreats and things like that where they're doing big, big energetic work on themselves and it's such a wonderful thing and then they come out and they're like, it happened to me. 0 (10m 10s): Actually, I have to tell you a story, I, when I first got into personal development work, I was working doing breakfast radio, it was long hours and I had to literally, I don't know if you've seen that morning show with Jennifer Aniston and Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was seriously like that where its like getting up at the crack of dawn and like hardcore talent and it was just long hours and literally your life revolved around working on this breakfast show. But it was radio. I had a two and a four year old at the time. I was so exhausted. Anyway, I got to this point where I'm like, this is hell on earth, like how did I get into this position? 0 (10m 50s): I am exhausted, burnt out, but I just did not wanna let go of this job. Like you know when you know something is so wrong for you and it could be a relationship or something like that, but you're like, I can't let go. Like I just still need a maybe another year on the resume and all this stuff. Anyway, absolutely exhaustion point I said to myself, I need to do something and I need to get into personal development work or I need to change my life right now because I cannot go like this. So deep dived into a lot of different texts and studied a lot in the law of attraction and all these other things and it was like I was a moth to a flame. I just bang I, I loved it. 0 (11m 33s): So anyway, I started doing all this work on myself and two or three weeks later my boss from Sydney comes down to Melbourne where I live and says, can I meet with you? We go into a, into a meeting room and he says to me the show, cuz we were doing a Sydney show from Melbourne cuz the talent were in in Melbourne. And he said, everyone, all the roles have to now move to Sydney. So are you gonna move to Sydney? And I'm thinking, I've got two young kids, like I'm not moving to Sydney. That's not possible. And so basically he's like, well your job will be redundant. And I'm thinking to myself, I have just done this extreme personal development work. 0 (12m 13s): How is my life like changing for the worst? And literally for another two weeks I thought, what's going on? Like I just can't believe this is happening. Like I'm about to like not have a job. Anyway, cut along the story short, this company that I still work at ended up saying we don't wanna lose you. We're starting a PodcastOutwitting arm, would you be interested in moving into that? And I was like, oh I don't know. Like I've listened to maybe one podcast before, cuz this is many years ago. They said, you'll be looking after the biggest talent in Australia who are gonna start doing a podcast. I'm like, oh my god. So anyway I take on this job, it was the best job that I think I've ever had and that one move changed my life forever. 0 (12m 57s): I now obviously came up with the idea for my podcast, which has been so unbelievably successful. It's catapulted my career in a way that I could never have thought of but Candice I would never like at that moment where I lost that other job that I didn't want to lose, that I got the universe forced me to get out of it changed my life in such a wonderful way. But I didn't realize it at the start. It took a couple of weeks for it to unwind. And sometimes like if anyone's listening thinking well I lost a relationship and or I've lost a job or I've lost something, a friend or something, let me tell you that if you've been doing the work and that's happened, that you are only gonna get bigger and better things coming into your life. 0 (13m 43s): So for me, like I said, it changed the trajectory of my life but it did because I started leveling up. So, you know, long answer to your question, I think that I totally agree with that Manifestation and changing the way that you are will bring only absolute joy into your life. But sometimes you need to go through the murky waters to get to the joy. So the path is not always clear. You know, there's a beautiful saying, you have to live life looking forward, but you can only understand it looking back. Mm. 2 (14m 16s): That is beautiful. Hey everyone, this is new. So we are taking a quick break for a couple of sponsors. How exciting is that, that we have a couple sponsors for the podcast? So this is new, please don't skip it, just listen, it's cool stuff I promise. So my first one is a small company called Ragnar's Rocks and I'll make sure I have the link below. As you know I love crystal's and I get made fun of for it all of the time, but I'm, I'm not gonna change my ways and I'm gonna stand by it. I truly believe in them and I think that they're beautiful, so sue me. But he sent me, I mean how incredible is that? He sent me this beautiful amethyst, I've got this really cute rose quartz skull. 2 (14m 60s): All this is on my table you can't see, but when I start doing two cameras you'll be able to see my little setup and this cute little crystal Buddha, how adorable is he? I these bracelets are from there. I mean I was really stoked to have him as a sponsor because this is right up my alley. So if you're into any crystals or you just wanna check out the website, it's ragnar's rocks.com and I'll link that below. And the last affiliate last sponsor, please don't skip, this one's a good one. So we all know the benefits of fasting. Well my husband and I have used this company ProLon actually a couple of times. So I was really excited that they wanted to be an affiliate of the podcast. 2 (15m 41s): So if you wanna try ProLon, it's a fasting mimicking diet. So you get all the benefits of a water fast and it's a lot easier cuz you get this delicious food instead of having to completely eat nothing. So you can try ProLon for $150 with the code. Candace, some of the claims for, and I mean I say claims but I'm going off of a script guys, 60% of people that completed the fast had better energy, mental clarity and focus. You'll definitely Shed some lbs. I felt a ton lighter after doing it. It's cool to do difficult stuff and obviously fasting is not easy. So it's kind of cool to see how you can kind of push it and get through something that you thought you might not be able to do. 2 (16m 23s): It's a lot easier than just doing a water cleanse. And again, like you, I think the average here, yeah people lose an average of 5.7 pounds and 1.6 inches off of their waist line. So as soon as I'm done breastfeeding, I'm doing one of these and Eric's supposed to be starting any anytime now. So we'll see when he decides to start. So I'll link that below. Again, if you wanna try ProLon, you can try it for 150 bucks. Use code Candace and let's return to the episode. It's interesting. So we talk about your vibration changing or your frequency changing and then there also has to be a deep trust for that because if you don't listen, I'm in the belief that those hints that the universe sends you get louder and more painful and heavier and like more difficult to, to navigate the more you don't listen because it's like, well you're not listening so maybe I need to get louder and louder and louder. 2 (17m 17s): So you could have moved and uprooted your family, but there was some kind of trust and deep listening in that where you're like, that's not the right decision for me. So you could have been acting out of fear or scarcity or thinking that there was nothing else better for you and staying in a position that you knew wasn't for your best and highest purpose, but on some level, like you did accept it cuz you decided not to do that, which I think is beautiful. 0 (17m 41s): Absolutely. I think having a trust and knowing is one of the things that you, you know, if you're walking this path, you need to have, like I'm going through a big negotiation at the moment and I actually had this conversation this morning with someone very close to me and I'm like, you know what, whatever the outcome, I know it's of to be the highest good. Like I always trust that if it what seems to work in my favor then so be it. If what I then perceive isn't what I wanted, I know that it might not be what I wanted for now, but doors will open. So I, having that trust has changed my life because it allows you to always know that yes, the universe has your back and nothing will be done to you. 0 (18m 29s): That the, the universe is not, it doesn't look at people in a way that, you know, Sarah, I'm going, I don't like her so she's gonna do X. It's not it, it's not a personal, the universe is not personal. The universe basically does reflects what you are. So you have to think about like, what is my intention for this? What is my intention for this negotiation? Well the intention for what I'm trying to negotiate is to do something that will help others. Okay, well my hope is that it will come through, but if it doesn't, as I mentioned then I know that something better will come down the road. But I think if we always go into everything with an intention that is positive and that has a, an arm of service within it, then things are going to be reflected back to us in a really beautiful way. 0 (19m 20s): So having faith in that and trust in that, then you know you're always gonna be guided in a very positive direction. 2 (19m 29s): I think that's a crucial element when it, when it comes to Prayer, Manifestation is that there has to be like a true, a true element of of service, of giving back of contribution because if it's selfish or driven by ego, I feel like those are the things that kind of get like wish washed away or if you're coming from it from like this greedy lack where you're trying to like take, take, take, take, take, yes. You kinda get stuck into that cycle. There's this book that I referenced all the time and it's called Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill. I dunno if you've ever like read or listened 0 (19m 60s): To it. I know I came but I know I, I haven't 2 (20m 2s): Incredible. It's like the number one book I recommend for everyone to li like listen to, it's the, it's the best on audio. But he gets into Prayer and he says whatever energy you are praying in is what is going to be delivered to you. So if you're delivering out of desperation, that's all you're gonna get. Or if you're like praying out of lack, that's all you're gonna get. So you have to really ground yourself and connect yourself and clear your yourself before you can ask for anything. Otherwise you're gonna get what you're asking for, which is not necessarily a good thing. Yeah, 0 (20m 32s): It's that whole I am statement, which I think is really powerful. So you know, even going back to biblical times, if you believe that, you know Mo in the scriptures it said that Moses said to God, what is your name? And God said, I am that. I am. Right. So the idea is that you are, we all are whoever we say we are, if you sit there and say I'm sick, then you'll be sick. I am, you know, I am poor. I don't have enough money. Well exactly to your point that Prayer is then reflecting back exactly that suffering mentality. So I, again, I have another funny story the other day my son, he got into, he's never run a race in his life like he's 10 and he is never gone for a jog or anything like that. 0 (21m 19s): And he comes home and he tells us that he made the the the running team and I'm like, oh my god, like that's pretty amazing. And they're going and they're competing against all these other schools and stuff and I'm like, oh geez, imagine if you actually went for a run let alone just being able to get in like that. So anyway, I'm teaching him about the idea of mentor rehearsal and going back to Manifestation, you know, picture yourself running the race before you do it and bring up the emotion and energy that you'd feel whilst you were running the race. It's something that athletes and musicians do a lot when they're training. So basically he got that all nailed and then we're walking to the bus stop and I said to him, now when you think about it, think about it from the fact you've already won. 0 (22m 3s): So when he is going to do this big race, I said, it's not just say in your Prayers, not like please allow me to win this white race, say thank you for having allowed me to have won the race, thank you for allowing me to have have run so beautifully and you know, having a great time and all that but changing the statement to like it's already happened in the most positive way. And then he was getting on the bus and I'm like good luck. Not that you'll need it cuz you've already won. 2 (22m 34s): That's beautiful. 0 (22m 36s): He was laughing. But it is that whole idea of like, you know, I always say in my Prayers, thank you for allowing my manifestations to come with me, to come to me with ease because whatever we wanna create in our life, we want it to come to us with such ease. And then Al always saying it from the position like it's already happened because the whole idea with Manifestation is that you have to feel the gratitude for it already being there rather than it not being there. And it's that like I want to get, well that's the future. So if you're saying I want to get well, it's like you never quite get there. Thank you for giving me a healthy body, thank you for giving me a healthy mind. 0 (23m 17s): Whatever you wanna create, like you already have it. So that should always be the Prayer 2 (23m 22s): And it shifts you out of a victim mentality. Yes. And that victim energy, which is not good. So it goes even back to the beginning of the conversation, which is when you believe everything is happening for you and not to you automatically gain, I don't wanna say control because like that obviously doesn't exist and I think we all know that deep down, but it gives you a lot more power and it's like, like you are in charge of your health to some extent. Yes. Or to a lot of extent. And the heart connection and feeling gratitude. I mean that's all of Joe Dispenza's work, right? Is when it comes to healing yourself from serious disease, like serious cancer, serious incurable ailments is feeling that gratitude. And it's happened countless times at his workshop. 2 (24m 4s): So it's not like a one-off and like this is not actually, there's like no science behind it. Like he has case studies, which is incredible. 0 (24m 11s): Absolutely. And I think as well, you know, when you're talking about health and, and becoming, well it's all about the way that, you know, I've heard him talk many a time and he tells people that they have to get into that body of that person that is, well like the old body is not there anymore, the old mind is not there anymore, anymore. You need to en envisage yourself as that new person and you just, I mean I, I've seen it in front of my eyes, it's unbelievable the shifts that people have. But even if you don't have a serious disease, you can do that for everything. Like we're talking about Manifestation, if you're in a job or relationship that you don't like, you use those techniques to change you to be able to be that new person that you wanna be. 0 (24m 58s): I mean, you know, going back to the story that I told you my old self and I'm sure you probably have the same story, I feel like we're all here on the same path. My old self died a decade ago when I decided I didn't wanna be that person that was suffering so much anymore and was in that job that they didn't like and had a hundred million negative thoughts going around in their mind. That person that Sarah died and then I was reborn again in the same life. And to me that's just been the biggest change. But I, I couldn't have gotten there had I not envisaged myself to be a different person. Like yes I'm still me, I still got, you know, the same bits personality to the same extent, but the way that I perceive life and the way that I think and the way that I treat people is so different to the way I did before. 0 (25m 49s): And I think some people, they just get so used to being in that suffering mindset and even though they, they say they don't wanna be in it, they don't do anything to change it. And you can't be the same person in a new life. You actually have to change your personality to change your reality. So yeah, I just think you have to do the work. I'm sure you've done it. I definitely did it and I still have to do it every day. Like I, I catch myself at moments like yesterday I got really annoyed at my daughter for something. We were running late and we were stressed out and I had to take her to an appointment and she wanted me to do X, y, and Z with her and I just didn't have time. 0 (26m 30s): So I had to take her somewhere and then she got annoyed with me. And this is like real first world problems, but the, the, the idea is I realized for the moment I went unconscious and I got really angry with her and I don't often do that. But if I was not conscious of everything that I did, I wouldn't even realize that that was a bad thing. So I think, you know, the first part to being that new self is being conscious of everything that you do, your words, your actions, your thoughts, and that's the first step to change. 2 (27m 2s): And then having grace for those moments too, right? Mm. Because you are human and we are gonna have flaws and no matter how much work and personal development you do, I mean even look at rom dass at the end, right? He would share stories about getting angry because his microphone didn't show up and then he's like, everything is a like ev God can show up in all sorts of ways and right now God is showing up as this damn microphone, right? And it's, these are tests for you to grow and expand and, and just to, you know, develop further. But it's not to like beat yourself up because you lost your temper. It's just to accept and love all of it and its, and its wholeness and be beautiful. 2 (27m 42s): I mean, looking back at all of the work that I've done, I mean I've been doing this since my twenties and I'm utterly embarrassed of the person before and I think that's such a great thing because it shows how far I've come myself and I'm sure, and I hope that in 10 years I can do the same thing where it's just like you have such a shift. But you mentioned the old Sarah dying and I feel like that's such a, an important part I wanna highlight is we often identify with whether it's being sick or healing, right? Not, I'm not healing, I'm healed, I'm whole like that's what healed means is you're whole, you are whole, unless you're dead, you're whole. So you are healed. 2 (28m 23s): We have these things that my teacher calls nfs, which are like these False Identities that we kind of like put onto ourselves. It's not like your true essence or your true soul. So a lot of moms will do it like I'm a mom. Well that's, that's a function and that's a role. That's not who your soul is at its essence. So when it comes to like killing the old version of yourself to grow and and better yourself and constantly be upleveling, how do you Shed those False Identities in order to step into the new version of yourself? 0 (28m 56s): Well that's a really good question and I think, you know, for me what I did is, as I kind of mentioned, I went very heavy into the personal development work but I was doing none of it before. So going heavy is like reading a book, which I didn't have time to really do before. All the sorts of books I would read would not be the books that I read. Now it's funny, someone asked me the other day like, can I see the books that you read? And I look cuz you know, similar to you, I listen to a lot of them being a podcast producer and Host and they're all personal development books. I'm like, I have just no interest in reading something that isn't like that cuz that is just, that is what I love. 0 (29m 38s): Like I, you know, and I couldn't feel more love for that kind of work than I do. So anyway, the first thing I did was go into that I, I studied meditation so I do heaps of different meditations and that to me that has been such a key thing in changing my life. And I know everyone talks about meditation and you know, people who are listening who might think I don't have time to meditate or you know, I used to think that too. That really was one of the key things that that changed my life. And when I started I was terrible at it and I thought, this is not for me. Maybe I'm just one of those people that can't meditate. 0 (30m 19s): Well that's not true for anyone cuz I believe every single person can meditate. But like anything you have to give it time. And I think sometimes we're so quick to judge to say like, we can't do that or we're not good at that, or we have the monkey mind, but you just need to find a meditation that works for you. Because I think the ones I initially were doing were like body scan meditations. And I was like, this is so boring and I didn't like it at all. But then when I found meditations that suited me, I loved them and I started doing, I started learning about Manifestation many, many years ago and I, the concept I spoke, I spoke about before, which was the visualization technique that I love doing that. 0 (31m 1s): And I really got into that and that helped me, like the idea that we can create our future reality. I had never heard that before. And so when I learned about that I was like, wow, this is so fun. So you know, you're making personal development work fun. Like if you know that you can wake up every morning and create your new future or your life or your dreams, then of course you're gonna get up early before your kids wake up or whatever to sit in meditation for, even if it's 15 minutes, half an hour, an hour or whatever you wanna do to be able to visualize and raise your energy to be able to create the life and dreams that you want, who wouldn't do that? So I began really enjoying everything I was doing to do with personal development work and the more that I got into it, the more I realized, you know, the old Sarah who may have not watched what she was saying and you know, I was always a good person of co of course I knew right from wrong and I never wanted to ever hurt anyone or anything like that. 0 (31m 60s): But I wasn't conscious of the words I was saying, I wasn't conscious of what I was thinking. I was overthinking so much I would get into these ruts of really, you know, thinking about something that hadn't even happened and ruminating over it. Say it was like an email from my boss and I'd put a negative tone on it and then I'd be ruminating over this email and like driving to work already angry, playing out a scenario in my head that had never occurred. So then I'm getting into the office upset with my boss when he didn't do anything, you know, and then I'm creating that negative reality through negative Manifestation, which is possible as well. So when I learned all these techniques, then I Shed the skin of that old Sarah who, you know, you nicely mentioned before, the soul is always the same. 0 (32m 46s): That doesn't change. The essence of who I am is exactly the same, but the best part of me, my highest self got to come out and and be front and center. And having that and knowing that I was then moving through life, you know, thinking about what I was doing before I did it, thinking about what I was saying and doing everything with kind of grace and ease and being led with a service mindset allowed this kind of new identity I suppose to appear. And it has changed my life radically in the most beautiful way possible. And I, you know, I'm so grateful every day for that. I mean what a blessing it is to, you know, people ask me about my job and I'm like, honestly, if I did not get paid for what I do, I probably still do it because it is so fun. 0 (33m 37s): Like there is, I mean, I used to go to work years ago hating life and now I go to work every day getting to talk to the most amazing people in the world, getting to do a lot of writing, speaking to audiences. I mean like anyone can do this though. I'm no different to anyone else. Like I would never have envisaged this for myself 10 years ago, but then I created it so everyone else has the ability to create it too. And it doesn't matter what background you've come from, what hardships in you you've had in your life, and obviously everyone's past different, they might not want this path for themselves, but you are able to create your dreams if you follow these techniques. 2 (34m 18s): And what a beautiful gift for your family as well because you've done all of that work that you can show up as you know, the best mother possible. And then that creates generational change. And that's like stopping intergenerational, inter general intergenerational trauma being passed on and like bad habits and bad ways of thinking that maybe like we had instilled within us or like, I should say me, you know, I feel like, so I had my first boy at 30, which I guess like some people is like a little bit late or I think it's pretty average now, but it's later than traditionally speaking. And we, there's this movement going on that's trying to get women to have kids younger again, like back like in their early twenties. 2 (34m 60s): Like they're just saying, you know, you're, you're gonna miss your window and you're still very fertile at 30. Like you're still very fertile, just you are, it doesn't start to take a dip until later. But if I had had a kid in my twenties, it would've been the worst thing for them. And for me, I was just not ready. I was not who I was not the best version of myself. And it's even still trying to understand who I am and being able to answer that with just the ramdas I am like that is, you're like, I'm not Candace, I'm not a mom, I'm not a wife. Like those are again, functions and roles in beautiful parts of my life. But when it comes down to soul and essence, it's like, like how do you get to I am and then how do you teach your kids like I am, like you are, you have the divine in you, you are born with like this beautiful pure love and light and kindness and joy and utterly perfect. 2 (35m 51s): And not to instill I guess like old programs or old ways of parenting that end up leaving people feel like I am not enough or looking for external validation or constantly trying to stuff down emotions and authenticity because they wanna be loved and like teaching them that love is only conditional is as long as you're quiet and on your iPad and not making a mess in the house. So I would've been a very different person before. So I think it's beautiful that you're doing the work and sharing that because it has like this massive ripple effect and absolutely know that it does. 0 (36m 26s): Absolutely. And I think, you know, that's such a good point. Like I think my mom and back in that day was very different. Had me when she was like 23 or something. And I mean that's amazing now because I get to have a mother who is younger and so, you know, like parents that aren't very old. So that's, you know, been such a pro. But I mean what that 23 is so young and when people get upset with their parents and I always try to tell them, you know, try to tell people who come to me saying, my parents did this and now I'm like this, we can't put the blame on our parents. I mean most parents were only doing the best that they could. 0 (37m 7s): And the same with us. Like, you know, when I parented, when I had my kids, I also was a similar age to you. I was just doing the best that I could at that time too. So I think back to your point a while ago, like we have to be easy on ourselves and not get so upset with what we may have done in the past because it was, it is what it is and then we move on and hopefully we learn and if we don't learn, we'll be reflected those lessons again and again and again till we do learn. 2 (37m 42s): So when it comes to connecting your mind and your heart, and I feel like a lot of people might have blockages or we create like this dense armor around ourselves, do you have a protocol for getting into that gratitude space or connecting to your heart space and allowing that flow? 0 (37m 60s): Yes. So every morning, and I did it this morning, I go into meditation and the first thing I do is, is get into my heart. And you know what, some days it takes a lot longer. Sometimes I can sit in meditation for two hours and I just sit in there until I've tamed that I've tamed my body. You know, like it's that whole idea that you are riding a horse and that horse is gonna do whatever it it wants to do, but are you gonna sit there and tame it till it then is going in the direction that you want it to go to? And someone said to me on the podcast the other day, it's such a beautiful, kind of a beautiful saying, but they're like, they sit in meditation with their wounds until the blood dries clear, you know, runs clear. 0 (38m 43s): And I thought, God, that's such a beautiful way of saying it. And so yeah, I, I sit in meditation and if anything needs to come up, I allow it to come up and I don't judge it and I let it wash past. And sometimes there'll be tears that come with it and it's unexpected. It will be, you know, I, I'll think I'm fine and I'll go into meditation and I'll get into that heart center and then something will come up for me, but then I make sure that I center my heart and my mind together and then I create this beautiful imagery of what I want to create in my life. And I'll do it every morning centering my heart to love and then centering my brain in the same way. 0 (39m 25s): And when they meet, that's when I'm able to then create in my life. So that's how I start every morning by, yes, getting into my heart center, but centering my heart and then centering my mind once I've centered my heart. 2 (39m 38s): And I think that's such an important step because when it comes to, like, I wanted to ask with the road to Greatness and if you were to create a roadmap, what is, what would your step one look like for somebody? 0 (39m 50s): I think the first one that I briefly spoke about before was conscious awareness. I think that is because if you are not conscious of what you're doing, you cannot change it. So if you are not conscious of gossiping or saying negative words to people not being kind, then you can't change it. So the first thing is being conscious of your words and then think about what you're thinking about. So when you realize that you're thinking about things that are not positive or not productive for your day, then change that, you know, we can all I, I learned this technique ages ago and it's been really effective for me that when I have a negative thought and if it's a ruminating type of thought, so you understand what it is, you've sat in it, it's not like you're pushing it away, but it keeps coming up and it keeps coming up, then think in your mind about something that you love. 0 (40m 44s): It could be a child, it could be a dog, it could be a job. Like literally it could be your coffee in the morning, whatever brings you joy already know what you're gonna think about. And soon as that negative thought comes in, move to the positive. And you could be doing this 60 to 70 times a day, but then the brain starts to rewire itself to stop going to the negative and start going to the positive. So that has been unbelievably effective in my life. And being conscious of your actions. So like what are you doing day-to-day and are they bringing, are they serving other people? Like if you don't like your job then fi try and find a new one. But be conscious of the things you say, the things you do and the things that you think. 0 (41m 27s): I think that is definitely the first tick on the roadmap to Greatness. 2 (41m 32s): It's so amazing that you said that because my, what I wrote down was auditing your thoughts and awareness around seven negative self-talk and pattern interruption. So we are just aligned in that entirely. 0 (41m 45s): Wow. 2 (41m 46s): Yeah, that's amazing. I've been pra trying to practice with upward spiraling. So if I notice something that's negative, that's recurring, that's very familiar is being able to interrupt it and then focus on something that's great about whatever that situation is and try to flip it to create a new neuro wiring. Yes. And like neuro pathway and it's so powerful. And then you also become so aware of how easy it is to just see the negative or see the flaw or, and how often you do it and you're like, whoa, you know, I, I have the ability to change this and if I see everything with like such doom and gloom or negativity, then obviously that's gonna scale out. So I have the power to flip that. 2 (42m 26s): And then it's kind of just like a constant practice and how little can you dwindle that down to 0 (42m 31s): Absolutely. And you know, perception is everything you can have that, you know, I'm sure most people have heard of the idea that, you know, you have two sisters growing up in the same family, they can be twins, but the way that they perceive life is completely different or situations. So how are we perceiving everything? Are we perceiving it through a negative lens or are we perceiving it through a positive lens? And you know, one of the, another great technique is, is how do I know this for sure, you know, Byron Katie talks a lot about this, but it, it, you know, it's in a lot of different work. What I'm so worried about, do I know for sure that it's true? 0 (43m 13s): I will promise you 98% of the time you have no idea if it's true. Do you know if that girl is talking about me? Well, I don't really know. I might think she is, but do you know for sure No. Okay, I'm thinking that that guy thinks that I'm a loser. Well you are thinking that, but do you know that he thinks you're a loser? No. You like, it's like we make up these stories in our head, my boss. I feel like my boss doesn't think that I'm as good as my colleague. Again, we do not know this for sure. And once we start reality testing our thoughts, we realize half of them are not true. They're just made up. And you know what's really interesting as well? I, I heard this stat the other day when we're ruminating over the past majority of time, I think it's something like 70% of the time, whatever we're ruminating about, it's like didn't even happen in the way that we perceived it. 0 (44m 7s): So our our memory of the past is not that exact memory. It's like we've just added some stuff to it and we're, we're telling a story and all that negativity is not even true. So you really have to be so conscious of the way that you perceive situations because we're, we always have the ability to choose the way that we perceive them. And if we do, why wouldn't you put that positive lens on it? 2 (44m 33s): Exactly. And then imagine how, how hard and difficult that you make your life in i in that identity and something in someone has wronged you. If it didn't actually happen, I saw the same stat, I think I saw 50%, but who knows, right? Yeah it could be 50 or 75%, but that's either way alarming number and it's like a coin toss. So even just knowing fundamentally that it could be objectively different from how you're recalling it, then why not choose to reframe it because you don't know either way. 0 (45m 3s): Absolutely. Absolutely. 2 (45m 6s): So self-love is a topic I wanted to get into cuz that's a lot of work that I've been doing lately. And I think when we go on social media, that's a bubble bath and a candle and like a Thai massage and that's what we call self-love. And we think that that's us loving ourself. And while those things are pleasant and lovely and also necessary, I think that is the most superficial way to look at what self love is. I would love your definition of self-love and what does that feel like for you? 0 (45m 33s): I mean, for me self-love is, is my loving ma me and the essence of who I am. To me that's self-love, like we spoke about before. You know, when you make, when you become unconscious and you lose your temper or you do things that are not right, having still that compassion for yourself that you know that you're a good person and that things like that do happen. And you know, for me, the times where, well the work that I've done to try and really get into, into self-love and and to really sit with myself goes again back to meditation. Like I'll sit in meditation for hours and really just get into that heart center to find that space where I'm connecting with a divine presence. 0 (46m 24s): And I can feel that. And I believe that to be true and that connection allows me to then really get into the essence of who I am. And then in my eyes, open life. I just have this really centered way about me where, you know, I, I know that I'm enough and I know that by doing this work, by doing the meditation, by being conscious of my thoughts, by leading with a service mindset allows me to feel good about who I am. And, and to me that's self-love. Yeah, it's great to look after yourself and yes, have a bath and have a massage and do all those things and carve out time for yourself in some way or another. 0 (47m 5s): Cuz I think, you know, for a lot of working parents or people that are looking after kids or whatever, life is busy and being able to take time for yourself is important. But I think getting to the essence of our true self and working on all of our wounds and working through all the mark to get to the, to the beautiful essence of who we are, that that is true self-love and yeah, that, I mean to me, what more could we want in life than to really be the best version of ourselves possible. And then it kind of winds back to our conversation at the start, you know, then you are the best person that you can be to everyone that you come into contact with. 0 (47m 49s): And I, I, I truly believe that's true self-love. 2 (47m 51s): I think you worded that beautifully. I do because I think when you come from a place of being full on the inside and having that love internally and not looking for others to fill up that cup, like that is true self-love. I think a lot of times if that is at a deficit, then we're in this needy place of we need our kids to validate us so that we feel like a good mom. We need our partner to validate us so that we feel worthy of love or our relationships with our friends and it's constantly external or you need certain amount of likes on social media, which is my pitfall is comparison. Mm. That's, that's operating at a deficit or like at a lack when you have everything that you need internally. 2 (48m 34s): So to be able to get into that place and connect with your heart and like feel that love and joy internally separate from whatever else is going on, while not easy, I feel like that is necessary. And then again, that will just emanate like externally from you and people pick that up and then those relationships become lighter and more pure and more loving because you're operating from fullness. 0 (48m 59s): Absolutely. And I think you bring up comparison, which is, I mean, everyone has to deal with that and you know, they're saying comparison is the thief of all joy. We all know it, but we still do it. And one thing that I really sat with for a while that has made me feel better about that is that we're all on our own journey. So, you know, you Comparing yourself to someone else, me, Comparing myself, like that person's journey that we may be Comparing ourselves to is completely different to what our journey is and what they need to achieve in their journey might, you know, we have no idea what, what their karma is, what they're going through, what's even happening behind closed doors. 0 (49m 42s): And as we know with social media, just because we perceive people per, you know, put out things and, and we are perceiving them in a certain way, I promise you. And as you would know, that's a lot of the time that's not what's, what's happening in their house, what's happening in their life. There's a lot more to it. So I think we have to be so careful with that stuff because it's happened to me before as well. you can be in a great mood and then something triggers you and then you go back into that feeling less than not good and enough then, but you have to concentrate on you. It's good to look around and see what others are doing for Inspiration, but use it only for Inspiration, not for suffering. 2 (50m 23s): So how do you, when you catch yourself doing that, what's, what's a way to mitigate that for you? 0 (50m 30s): Well, even for me, if I notice that something does trigger me, then I'll not look at it. So I know for example, and I, I've noticed people have done this with me, like, I think, like God, I can tell that I've probably triggered people in my own life that they won't, they won't wanna talk about certain things with me, my job or this or that because it triggers them and it doesn't mean that they don't love me, but maybe within their life they haven't achieved what they wanna do. So, you know, you can kind of feel it and you have to accept that and that's okay that they're like that. And as we said, like it, it's happened to both of us. But if it is something that triggers me, then, you know, maybe it's like not following someone or, or not, you know, how you can kind of like change the settings so you don't see their stuff as much. 0 (51m 18s): Doing something like that can sometimes help in situations. And also again, going back to that knowing that their journey is different. So whatever they're doing then just feel joy and and happiness for them because in when we're in that abundant mindset of feeling so happy for others who have achieved, which I do 99.9% of my time, I'm so happy when other people achieve good things, then you'll see that ricocheted back to you as well. So really, you know, knowing the fundamentals of that and knowing how when we're, we're in that lack mentality and when we become a little bit jealous or we are Comparing, then that's gonna come back to us. 0 (52m 2s): That the, the law of cause and effect, understanding that notion then makes you kind of change the way that you're thinking and your actions. 2 (52m 9s): I've heard something really similar, so if your response or your visceral feeling towards someone else's su success is negative, then it's kind of saying, oh, that I don't want that. Yes. Versus if you're rooting for someone and you're like, oh, they do want that, that is a good thing. They, you know, that is something that I should send their way. So it's almost like you're pushing it away further the more jealousy and like Comparing that you do. But it's still so tricky even to myself. So I like I turn all my likes off because I just don't think that's a healthy model. So I just tried to lead by example and it's just like I turn the likes off, the views are still there cuz it's just, that is not a setting that you can do. And then for me it's also unfollowing. 2 (52m 49s): It's, I think for some people I can watch and be truly inspired by their work. And it doesn't matter if they have like a hundred x the whatever than me, I don't, for some reason it doesn't trigger that that comparison or that jealousy and I can truly look at them as that is where I wanna be. Like they're a good roadmap for me. And then other people, I don't know what it is, but it's like I cannot get out of it right now. So I'm just have to unfollow until I can align and figure out what's going on within myself and like what wound is that touching that I'm getting such a response or I'm feeling such a lack or not good enough or whatever that, that might be. 0 (53m 28s): And it's interesting because it, like they are our biggest teachers, so it's almost like you, you have to be grateful for that showing up because it's showing unhealed as you're saying, unhealed parts of yourself that still need to be worked on. And we need to be compassionate about that as well. And I think also what another thing that I learned, which I think is very useful for people, like we are living in an abundant society. So if we see, like I'll use the example of you and I, I don't know, say that you had Joe Smith on your podcast doesn't mean Joe Smith is not gonna come on my podcast because he came on your podcast. You know, if we're looking at it through the lens of lack, then we're not gonna get Joe Smith on the podcast because we're not, the universe is abundant. 0 (54m 17s): So just because Candace has some stuff doesn't mean Sarah can't get there too. So I think we have to really remember that we're not going into that kind of Darwinist mentality, like every man for themselves. It's not like that, like the, it's the, we live in an an abundant universe that will give to you what you reflect. So if you just keep that in mind the whole time, then you'll be okay. But if you get in that negative hole, be conscious about it, like what you and I have done in the past and get yourself out of it. Because if you stay in it, you're just gonna be reflected more of what you don't want. And I think that's really necessary for people to hear. 2 (54m 58s): Right. And it's also so important to know what you don't want. Yeah. So those, those examples for you are also saying pay attention, don't do this and like make different choices. And they also say if there's, if you feel like everyone has already done it all and that you can't start a podcast because it's oversaturated, go into the cereal aisle or go into the bread aisle and there's an abundance of white bread and they're all labeled and packaged differently and everyone has a different favorite and they might buy a different one. Like there is just abundance and people like multiple options and choices and don't let like a, a saturation, a quote, saturation of any market deter you if that's where your heart wants you to go. 0 (55m 40s): Yeah. And I think that's such beautiful advice and really, you know, I think it was JK Rowling who got rejected by so many publishers before her book was a success and then it was like, you know, the biggest book in the world or something like that. Just because one person says you can't do it doesn't mean that you can't do it. And granted if you do try 10 times and you get nowhere fast, then maybe it is a sign. But if you feel that there's still something inside that says that you wanna do this, then give it your old, just don't take one person's advice and let that be gospel for you. Try and work out your own path and find the information that you need. 0 (56m 21s): Cuz I think that's very important as well. 2 (56m 24s): Do you have a way to discern when, when to Pivot? Because I think with her, I wanna say it was like 86 times that she got turned down before, or maybe it was even closer to a hundred before. Wow, someone accepted her, her book deal and obviously it made her a billionaire because it was just wildly successful. So imagine all of those people that said no. So that's a lot of times and a lot of feedback of people saying this is garbage. So how do you know that you're in alignment or you are doing the right thing versus I need to Pivot, maybe this ist my skillset or maybe I'm off by just like a little bit, I'm missing the mark by a little bit. 0 (57m 2s): That's, that's such a good question. I actually had this the other day where I'm trying to do a few different things for the podcast and a producer came up with this brilliant idea and we recorded some stuff and she was like, this is amazing. And I listened to it and I thought there's something not right here. Like there's, I just, something didn't sit comfortably with me but I didn't quite know what it was. And then for a few other people listened to it and they're like, yeah that's really good. And I'm like, okay. Like people that I do trust are saying that this is good and these are people in the, in the business. They're not just like random friends. And then my audio producer who, you know, we were talking about our love for audio producers before we got on today who is very experienced. 0 (57m 50s): I said, can you cut this up? He did. And I said, what'd you think of it? He goes, yeah, I think you can do better. And I'm like, I know I knew it, I agree with you. But it wasn't till he said that that I knew there was something in my Gut that didn't feel right about it. So kind of going on to what you're talking about, like in the opposite way, my heart told me there was something that still needed to be worked on with this concept. And a few people were saying to me that it was really good, but I knew in my heart of hearts that it wasn't quite there yet. And then someone said to me, my audio producer, you can do more work on this. It's not there yet. 0 (58m 31s): But the, it went, it was a good lesson for me to teach to to go back to my Gut feeling. And I think if you are like JK Rowling, she, I'm assuming, I don't know the ins and outs of her story, but she must have had a feeling that this was going to be a book that would work because you know, going to 78 or a hundred, however many people you said publishers and having that many rejections, like you'd be like, oh God, like there is a people in professional places telling me this book isn't good, but she had a knowing. So I think it like goes back to that I had a knowing that this concept was not quite right yet. So I think in our Gut, in our intuition, we have this knowing and I think we need to follow that. 0 (59m 14s): If you are putting out work sites for a book or a podcast or anything in your life that you wanna achieve and you kind of think like, maybe it's not that good yet, or I know this is gonna be good but just not the right person has found it, then I would say follow that more than anyone else's guidance. 2 (59m 31s): Beautiful advice before I let you go, do you want to share anything with the listeners as far as anything you're working on or like a top book recommendation, a top audio recommendation, a top podcast recommendation of your own that they can dive into? 0 (59m 48s): Yeah, thank you for that. I, I'm just trying to think back to the podcast episodes. I've done that. I mean I love all of them obviously, but there is, there always is amazing ones. I did one last year, it's actually been the most downloaded episode. It's so funny, I had Esther Perel on the podcast, she came to Australia last year, the end of last year. She came on the podcast, her episode, she's wonderful. The episode was wonderful. And in that short period of time, having a podcast for four and a half years, she has outs spiked every other guest that I had on and only had her on not that long ago. So, you know, cuz the downloads that you had from years ago, you would think that they kind of have the most, no, no, Esther has taken over so by a mile as well. 0 (1h 0m 34s): So her episode is beautiful. I mean there's just so many good ones. Matthew McConaughey, Garbo Matto is fabulous. He's been on a couple of times. I mean anyone just look at a life of Greatness. Listen to the episodes we, I did one, I was thinking about it when you were talking about Prayer, it was a few years ago and you should try and get her on your podcast. Caroline Mace, she's a medical intuitive and she talks all about, there was a book she wrote about Prayer. It was one of my most favorite favorite episodes. So if you just search a life of Greatness. And then Caroline Mace, which is m y s, she's beautiful. I have some, I have a Manifestation course that I sell on my website and some meditations if you're interested in getting into meditation. 0 (1h 1m 22s): But you know, for anyone that's listening to this conversation and thinking like, where do I start? I wanna change, but I don't know how. I think if you really go back to the whole idea of conscious awareness, reading some books, you know the f one of the first books that I read that I love and it's such a short read, is Deepak Chopra. I think it's like this Deepak Chopra, he wrote it apparently in an hour and a half when he was on the plane. I think it's like the seven Spiritual Laws of success. I think it's the number seven. It is such an easy read. If you like listening, it takes an hour and a half. Such an easy listen I'd go to that. That was very useful to me. 0 (1h 2m 3s): And just really carve out time every day to do meditation, to do the things that you need to do to live the best life possible. So yeah, thank you for having me on your podcast. 2 (1h 2m 18s): Of course. This was amazing and I would love to have you on in the future cuz I have pages and pages of notes and topics to get into. But this was incredible. And then where can everyone find you on socials? 0 (1h 2m 31s): So you can find me at Sara Grynberg on Instagram, Sara Grynberg on Facebook and my website Sara Grynberg dot com for the Manifestation course and a life of Greatness. If you wanna listen to the podcast in, you know, apple Podcast, Spotify, all of those great places that you can listen to podcasts 2 (1h 2m 50s): And highly recommended, I'll make sure I link all of that below for everyone in the this show notes. And thank you so much again. I hope that you have a great, I think morning over there right 0 (1h 2m 58s): Morning. Yes. Thank you so much for having me. 2 (1h 3m 1s): And that's it for this week's episode of Chatting with Candace. Before you go, make sure that you have hit the like and subscribe button left that five star review and last if you enjoyed it or know someone else that might enjoy this episode as well. you can share on your socials or just send it to 'em in a text. It's a great gift and I'll see you next week. Bye everybody.