#92 Gabrielle Stone - Navigating Betrayal: A marital affair

0 (0s): I think where people get tripped up too about the whole like quote healing journey. Like I went on that trip and was like I have to fucking come back healed. Like this has to be the trip where I come back and I'm fixed and it's like what the fuck does that even mean? Yeah, you know, fixed for what capacity of your life. Like there are gonna be so many different times where you feel like you've taken 10 steps back. There are gonna be so many different experiences in your life where you're like, okay, now I have to heal again. And that can be exhausting. 2 (32s): Hello everybody. You are listening or watching Chatting with Candace. I'm your host Candice Horbacz. We are gonna start off by doing some shout outs today. So I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that's bought me some cups of coffee recently. Thank you Keith. Thank you Ray and thank you Ultra Magnus. I really appreciate it. If you wanna support the podcast, you can go to two, buy me a coffee.com/candace Y all goes back into the podcast and you can check out some of our affiliates and sponsors below. And let's do something we haven't done in a while, which is some Patreon shout out. So let's pull up some members. You can also join the Patreon account where you get early access to episodes. 2 (1m 13s): You get to ask guests some questions. It's on Chatting with candace.com and the coffee link is there as well. So we want to do a big shout out to Richard Brandon, Nate and Bill, thank you for being a Patreon. I sincerely appreciate the support. Could not do this without any of you. If you haven't left a five star review, I'm gonna nudge you to do so right now. You can do it more than once. You don't have to type anything, just hit that five star. It helps with the algorithm and it seems to be working. So without further ado, this week we have Gabrielle Stone joining the podcast. I don't wanna give too much away because we jump right into it at the beginning of the podcast, but she went super viral on TikTok. 2 (1m 56s): When I say viral I mean like 70 million views and I was one of those viewers and I didn't even realize it, it was just serendipity happening. But she has an incredible story and a lot of really great advice for everyone. So I really hope you enjoy the conversation and please help me welcome Gabrielle Stone. So really funny story. I was like refreshing on some of your content this morning as I was getting ready for this podcast and I didn't even realize that I was one of the like 70 million people that saw one of your TikTok, like one of like your super viral TikTok like When. you immediately posted it like way back and I had no idea And then it's kind of like come full circle. 2 (2m 36s): I was like wait a second, that's I've this. Yeah, 0 (2m 40s): I love it. I love it. TikTok has been a really crazy marketing tool that I never expected. Like I was never planning on getting on another social media app and then Covid hit and I was like, well I'm bored, let's do it. And lo and behold, it's been like the biggest marketing tool for me. 2 (2m 58s): Yeah, your story cuz you did it to like one of those dances and it was when that whole like dun, dun, dun dun, whatever, whatever was trending. So you never knew what someone was gonna type above it. And then I'm just like watching engrossed, like I have to find out what happens. There's no way. 0 (3m 15s): I love it. Yeah, I feel like my life has been this weird combination of like a Fucked up Netflix story. So it was kind of made for TikTok the highlight reel version of it. But at the, at the core of it, it's become this like wild self-love healing journey. Which is why I think once people dive into the book it really resonates on a whole different level than they were expecting. 2 (3m 38s): Yeah. So the book is Eat Pray FML. Yes. And that is, so Eat Pray Love is one of my favorite. I just love Julia Roberts in general. She's one of my favorite actresses. Like she's like my comfort actress. Yes. That movie to me, I feel like every woman needs to watch it. I had my husband watch it recently, love it and he's like, I get it. He's like, I get why people love it. I don't see why it's necessary to travel and do what she did. And I was like, oh, I get it. Like I like, I mean maybe that's something that women tend to relate more is maybe going outside ourselves a little bit for that self-discovery where I feel like men tend tend to be a little bit more internal in that process. So that's probably why there's a little bit of that disconnect. 2 (4m 19s): But your story, it's, it's so real. It's like it's the more reality based version of that of that book which it or and movie. And so I guess my question is When, you had this moment where you were love bombed and this set this first, was it the first man you were with after the divorce? 0 (4m 39s): Yeah, so basically I, I was married for almost two years, found out he was cheating with a 19 year old for six months long with like a myriad of other extramarital affairs filed for divorce left. And then the man after that was like love bomb me just like madly in love, zero to 100. And I was like, oh my god, this is the person I'm supposed to be with. Of course I had to go through all this horrible bullshit in my marriage and invited me on a month long trip to Italy. 48 hours before we were getting on the plane, told me he needed to go by himself, broke up with me. I was fucking Devastated like broke my heart like my ex-husband never could have done and was like, well I can either stay at home heartbroken or I can go travel Europe for a month by myself. 0 (5m 20s): So I took my backpack and I did six countries and wrote the book about it on the trip. 2 (5m 26s): Well I was where I was gonna go was first How, how did you find that trust to be able to just go to your by yourself instead of Wallowing instead of laying in self pity and this place of victimhood? Like how are you like no, I'm gonna turn this into something and I'm not gonna kinda surrender to this, I'm not gonna give up, I'm gonna go continue to live and explore. Yeah. And be curious. 0 (5m 50s): I have to credit my mother to that for instilling that in me. You know, I lost my dad when I was six pretty dramatically. I walked in and found him dead on the floor from a heart attack. She was across the world filming a movie in New Zealand. She obviously like flew home the next day, but it takes like 24 hours to get home. So it was me and my nanny and she got home, which is like a 24 hour plane ride, did the, the celebration of life, got all his affairs in order and then took me and my nanny flew back to New Zealand and finished the film. And that was kind of my first experience of like, okay, so when trauma happens and when your life just fucking erupts, like you pick yourself up and you somehow get through it. 0 (6m 36s): I then lost my high school sweetheart in a car accident when I was 18, which was very sudden. Wow. And it was again kind of like that same fear of abandonment wound that was getting ripped open. But again that same lesson of like, okay, how are we gonna not push it down? Like definitely like deal with the grief and work through it, but that eventually you're gonna come to a road and there's gonna be two different directions and you can choose to go right and stay in the victimhood and allow this tragedy to become like what defines you and what makes you and like that's what you know, everything's fallen back on. Like oh well it's because this happened to me is why I'm like this. Or you can choose to go left and be like, this is not gonna define me. 0 (7m 19s): It's gonna be a springboard to make me into a better human and how can I grow and learn from this and make myself a better person from it. So it was really knowing that that was at the core of it, it was like what was Wallowing and Being home heartbroken going to do for me? And a little dash of like we were supposed to get on a plane in two days. So like what was like, you know, the real choice. Like it's not like I was gonna refund my ticket and Europe had been on my list for quite some time. So I knew in that moment that whatever this trip was going to bring was gonna be a huge healing journey for me. So I knew it, it just felt right. I knew it was something that I had to do. 2 (7m 59s): So you mentioned that he had broken your heart, worsened, your ex-husband could have. Like why do you feel that I guess that Heartbreak was so much more painful or more intense or that that possibility was greater with him than with someone that you were married to? 0 (8m 15s): Yeah, it's really interesting because a lot of my readers will message me and be like, why is it the guy after? Like why is like that the one that fucks you up so bad? And I'm like, girl, I know. I think for me specifically, so like I said, I had, I had lost my dad and my high school sweetheart throughout my life. So I had developed this kind of like fear of abandonment and when I love someone they leave, which manifested in me never wanting to be alone and always wanting to like have a man in my life or always living with a roommate. And through my healing journey, once I, you know, got to Europe and started really like digging in deep, I realized that I had loved my dad and he died. I had loved my high school sweetheart and he died. 0 (8m 56s): So I married my ex-husband because I wasn't fully in love with him and that felt safe subconsciously, obviously I wasn't walking down the aisle being like, we're good, it's, it's all fine. I don't really love him. Like of course I loved him as a human but I wasn't in love with him. And I think that was part of my saving grace when the divorce happened because I wasn't dealing with this like epic Heartbreak. I was dealing with Betrayal and rage for someone who had been my best friend for five years and had promised to keep my body safe and spoken these vows to me that now was so clearly done. But no, the Heartbreak unfortunately was what came after. 0 (9m 36s): But I was thankful that those were two separate ordeals. Like the, the fallout from the divorce that I felt was very separate from the Heartbreak that I ended up feeling before the Europe trip. 2 (9m 50s): So how do you keep your heart open? So you go through Heartbreak and you go through devastating loss, like real trauma. I think it's so important to, to distinguish between trauma and just a hardship. They are different. They and the human, like the human ecosystem is so resilient. We are made even through trauma, we are made to really be able to process and move forward. Otherwise we wouldn't have evolved to where we are. So I think we're in this place that gets really dicey when like every infringement is a trauma. And I think that that dishonor is the actual trauma like you have gone through real trauma. Trauma is, it's outside of the ordinary, right? 2 (10m 31s): Like you are not supposed to die young, you're not supposed to lose your lover, your your first love young. You're not supposed to as a child like be the first one to discover your father. Like those are abnormal. That is real, real trauma. And I yeah honor you for for sh for sharing that and going through that. Thank you. And I think that a lot of times we'll see something like a divorce and we're like, well that's trauma. Well that's unfortunately that is, it's a hardship, it's a Heartbreak. I'm not saying it's easy but I personally wouldn't classify it as that. So I think like that distinguishing definition I think is is really important. 0 (11m 3s): Yeah, I think that there's definitely different levels of kinds of trauma but you're right, I think in today's world we're so quick to be like oh this is my trauma, these are my triggers. And it almost like takes the importance of you know, like like you said, the real traumas kind of away from those. And I think it's really important to own those traumas but not like we were saying earlier, be a victim to them. Like I remember very clearly getting into a fight with my mom when I was like in my angsty teen years and we were in the throws of yelling at each other and I was like, well I'm like this because dad died and she stopped everything and looked at me and was like, Gabrielle, you can be sad, you can be angry, you can feel whatever you wanna feel, but you will never use your father's death as an excuse as to why you're behaving a certain way ever. 0 (11m 57s): And I think that's so often when people don't resolve the trauma that they go through, they end up inflicting it on other people and then those people end up in therapy for the trauma that they didn't fucking solve in the first place. So yeah, it's very, very important. But I get the question, how did you keep your heart open a lot? Because I get that When, you go through stuff, especially like a divorce or a Heartbreak, your initial thing is to be like, all right we're closing up shop, I'm putting a wall up, Fuck Off, everybody can just like leave me alone. We're done. And that would've been really easy for me to do after finding out about my ex-husband's affair and like all the things that were so interwoven with that situation. 0 (12m 40s): But if I would've done that, I would've never met the man after who in the book's name is Javier. I would never have fallen in love like that. I would never have had my heart broken, which I can assure you was the first big Heartbreak of my life in that sense. And I wouldn't have gone on this trip. It wouldn't have completely changed me as a human and like healed me in so many different ways. I didn't know possible and I wouldn't have written this book about it. That's completely changed my entire career and my life and given me such a gift to help other people who have gone through the heartbreaks and the traumas all over the world. So I always say always keep your heart open. That doesn't mean to like walk into a situation and like put on a blindfold and ignore all the fucking red flags flying in your face but always keep your heart open and take that risk because you're either going to end up heartbroken and learning a really incredible lesson and becoming a better version of yourself so that you can then attract the good amazing stuff you want into your life or you're gonna be wildly happy, either of which is time well spent. 0 (13m 44s): And an experience worth having in my opinion 2 (13m 47s): Is ha Javier was the, I think that's the name of the actor in the love section, right? Of Eat Pray Love, like that's his real name. 0 (13m 54s): Yeah, I think he's played by Javier Broda. So what's so crazy is that I I I him get nervous, I get nervous saying this, but I had never seen nor Red eat Pray love the day before I left on my Europe trip, which was obviously like the day after I found out like, hey you're going alone and we're breaking up. I sat down to watch the movie, still had not read the book and literally my jaw was on the floor cause I was like, oh my god, this is my fucking life right now. Like wait, this is ridiculous. And right before I had watched that, that movie, I had had a conversation with my Javier and he was like, how are you feeling Gabs? 0 (14m 35s): And I was like, like I'm about to go on a journey of eat Pray fuck my life. Cuz obviously you know what Eat Pray love is, but this was so not what was happening and I knew that that was not going to be my type of healing journey. And so I sat down and watched, watched the movie and was like, holy shit, like this is really what's about to happen to me. It was so crazy and there were odd similarities once I wrote the book in Europe that once I went back and eventually like a year later read the book Eat Pray Love was like, oh my god, there's weird, it's vastly different but there's weird similarities. Obviously the, the title is like a sarcastic tongue-in-cheek play on on the classic novel that everybody knows. 0 (15m 19s): But there were weird similarities that like even in like random name selections that I chose that I had like no clue existed in the original book. It was weird. 2 (15m 29s): I believe so much in that I think like attracts like, and I think that our frequencies can, can create our realities. It's like thoughts become things which kind of goes back into like to keeping your heart open and not closing it off and not saying fuck all men and kinda like punishing that sex as a whole. Because I feel like with women who do that when we like close up our hearts because we've been hurt and then we start to encounter more of like that archetype of men that we don't like and we're like, you know, the guy who's inconsiderate or the guy who's rude or the guy who's sh bossy or sh shavey or overpowering or whatever it is for you. 2 (16m 11s): Almost like get more of what you don't want. Totally. Because you're so, you're like so closed off to that. It's kind of like we, it's extreme accountability and extreme accountability for our reality and like what we are kind of manifesting into existence. So I think that's percents like so important to tell women. And you know the following, it's yes your heart's broken and that doesn't like, that doesn't give him permission to do bad behavior or anything, but it's to not punish men forever and close your heart forever because then what are you getting? Like where is the trade off in that? Or like where is the payoff in that you're not gonna have a happy fulfilled union or partnership with Stone because you have just like put up that wall 0 (16m 53s): Well and you're focused on it, you're walking around going like men are assholes. Like you know, everybody has like cheated on me and like fuck all these people. But also like I really want a relationship. It's like you can't hate what you're trying to attract. So my background is like a blueprint example of this and I always tell people on my podcast, I'm like, look, I know you're gonna get triggered When, you hear this, but like if you are attracting certain men into your life or certain whatever, like any pattern into your life, if there is a pattern that you've attracted more than once, yes 2 (17m 27s): There 0 (17m 28s): Is something within you that is attracting that to kind of mirror it to you so you can wake up and heal that shit and you have to be able to take accountability for that. So for me it was the fear of abandonment and when I love someone they die. Like that was my subconscious thing that was cr like carrying me throughout my life. And so I attracted my ex-husband who abandoned me in one of like the most heinous ways possible. And the universe was like, okay Gabrielle, are we ready to go heal this? I was like, no, no, no, I'm good. I'm gonna go over here. Hey Javier 2 (17m 60s): Attracted 0 (18m 1s): Him into my life who quite literally, it's like almost laughable, quite literally abandoned me two days before we were getting on a trip that he fucking invited me on and the universe was like, now are we ready to go heal this? And I was like, oh fuck, okay, I guess. Yeah, sure. And it wasn't until I was able to really dig in and heal those abandonment wounds and start to switch that narrative within my myself that I was going to be able to attract people who would never abandon me and show up in a different capacity because I was the person that was manifesting subconsciously obviously all of these people into my life so that my brain would be like, see, see we're right. They abandoned, they abandoned, they abandoned. 0 (18m 41s): And When, you can take accountability for that and be like, okay, there's this shitty pattern of people that I'm attracting. What is this trying to tell me? What can I heal within myself in order to start attracting some better stuff? 2 (18m 57s): I love that so much. I love that we share that perspective because it's, it might make someone pissed, right? Like they might get really defensive. I think if you get defensive that's even more of a hint look deeper. Right, right. Something and something inside of you is getting poked right now, right? Yeah. And that's a beautiful, beautiful sign of where you can improve and just like elevate and expand yourself and it gives you the power back. You're like, okay wait, I am responsible for all of this so if I'm responsible for all of this chaos and all of this shit, I can be responsible for like beauty and grace and abundance. Mm. And like unconditional love and whatever that is that you want to kind of create. So like own it, feel it, accept it and then consciously try to like elevate yourself to create that reality that is in more in in alignment with the future that you want. 0 (19m 47s): Yeah, absolutely. It's so important to use those things as kind of like an investigative tool. Like okay, this shitty relationship happened instead of feeling like I wasted a year and a half of my life, like what was it trying to teach me and what can I take from this? I'm a big believer in everything happens for reason but not like the toxic positivity. Like it's fine girl, everything happens for a reason, nothing's bad. But like even the deaths that I've had in my life, like the deep traumas that I've experienced, I can look back on those and be like, okay, this propelled me into becoming this type of person or I took these really important life lessons from this situation. 0 (20m 31s): Like I can look back and be like, yeah everything that happened, the good, the bad and the ugly. Like I see the reasons behind that. It doesn't mean that it is happy or that you would choose that path or that the bad behavior that other people are bringing to you is deserved. But you can find the reasonings in that and it makes it feel a little less shitty When you can do that I think. 2 (20m 54s): Yeah. And it's just, it's a reality shift. It's like if you can look at something and find the gift in it, how much different is does everything look, feel, taste ex like everything is different versus oh that's shitty. Of course this is my luck, you hear people, this is my luck all the time. Well that is your luck, you're asking for it. You're literally speaking that into existence. You have to be so careful about your thoughts and your words that are, because you'll, you'll create that when it comes to I guess like shifting from the person that was terrified of abandonment, kind of unconsciously seeking out those relationships and then kind of manifesting the thing that you didn't want to ha happen and then becoming someone who now attracted your now husband and soon to be a father of your baby. 2 (21m 44s): How did you relinquish that fear? Because I think so many of us, especially At a young age, we operate in this fear channel, like a lot of our decisions are made out of fear and avoidance of pain and then it ends up showing up anyways. So how do you get to this place where you can, especially in your story where you have a real reason for these things, Trust again and let go of that fear of abandonment and seek a relationship with fresh eyes and a fresh heart. 0 (22m 12s): Yeah, that's such a good question and it's such a complicated answer, but when I came back from Europe, I released the book and everyone was like, oh my god, what the fuck happened after Europe? And kind of, I say this lovingly like berated me into being like we need a sequel. So I wrote the sequel a couple years later, it's called The Ridiculous Misadventures of a Single Girl and it's a crazy whirlwind of like the two years after year up, but that's where people will see me meet my now husband. And it was not an easy journey to getting to where we are now. There was a lot of back and forth, he came into my life when I was very unhealed and still very much Fucked up from all of the, the divorce and the love bombing and the Heartbreak. 0 (23m 2s): Like I was still in love with my ex, like it was like a mess. And I was able to recognize that wall going up, which I've always been so good at keeping down, which was a new experience for me. And I was very conscious of the fact that I was running from something and that something felt like it was missing. What I ended up getting to was really being like, okay, first of all what's missing is me. Like I kept looking for this completion from things that were outside of myself. So for men or success in my career or whatever it was, it was always looking for the completion outside of myself instead of going inward and finding that, you know, it sounds so cliche, but that self-love and knowing my worth and Being content within myself before adding other things to my life. 0 (23m 56s): So that was part of it. The other part was that I had been so conditioned by my, my marriage that was like extremely toxic once I was like out of it and able to like look with a different perspective in was like, oh my god, thank God I got outta that when I did. And then the relationship after that was so like love bombing and back and forth and like very intense and then like nothing I had really, like my, my definition of love had become toxic. So when this like safe, healthy, wonderful and at times I say this in a good way because it's so good, boring love came into my life. 0 (24m 39s): I was like, oh this, this can't be right. Like this isn't, 2 (24m 42s): We'll say stable. 0 (24m 43s): Stable, yes. But like, I mean like look, I, I love that my husband and I can be bored together and lay there and watch Netflix and we're still so fucking happy together. Like we don't need any of the the drama and the spikes of you know, the toxicity like, and that's it. It took me a while to realize like oh this is a good thing. Like I had been so conditioned to need those extreme highs and those extreme lows that this didn't it it was like, oh well there must be something more that I should be looking for than this. So that took me a while to kind of relearn that definition and feel at ease and comfortable in that like safe non abandoned love. 2 (25m 31s): Mm. Oh my gosh, there's so much that I wanna get into there. I swear you read my, because I journal before I have a guest on and it, oh I love that. It just helps, it helps me like free flow and just kind of not like I don't wanna ever structure a conversation because they always take on a life of their own and I love these moments where it's like I feel like you just read my journal because it's so many of the things I wanted to get into I guess starting with this idea of of wholeness and what's really interesting and it's something I learned recently, so did you know that the origin of the world, the word healed means whole? 0 (26m 5s): No, I didn't. But that makes sense and that's beautiful. 2 (26m 8s): So I have this spiritual teacher and he really is not a fan of the word healing as we use it today because he's like very particular with how he uses his words like very intentional and goes back to the origin and like the fundamental meaning of it. So he's like, everyone is healed, everyone is whole. Like you are not fractured as a person like you, you are existing as a whole like you're alive, right? You're, you are, you are healed. Which is a really big shift in the, in the way that you look at it because you do see people that kind of get caught up in this like healing culture and they're constantly healing and they identify with healing and they identify with their wounds and then in that cycle they will never be whole and they'll never be okay because almost that attachment to whatever that transgression or trauma was is more important than actually coming out the other side. 2 (26m 58s): Right. But what I was going to say was this idea of my better half, I hate that. I hate that. Are you half a person? Are you each half a person and only when you're together are you whole? And okay, that's a recipe for a disaster, right? Like I'm whole, he's whole and now together we are able to amplify and our mission is now like exponential. It's not create, it's not seeking out love from a deficit. So that journey to wholeness to healing, to looking inside versus outside, what does that feel like? What does that feel like once you get to a place of self-acceptance? 2 (27m 40s): Self-love of he like true heal like healing. Yeah and Being whole. 0 (27m 45s): Yeah. Oh I love everything you just said because that's so true And like also when even if you are saying like the the phrase my better half, like why is it the better of the two halves? But like yes 100% for me when I went on this Europe trip it was like I knew I was looking for this like I have to learn how to love myself. Everybody kept being like, you have to learn how to love yourself. Loving yourself is the most important thing. You can't love someone else until you love so like love yourself first. And I was like okay cool, I get it, I'm ready to do that. Can anyone tell me how? And people were like, oh well no, it's just something you have to find. I was like, oh okay. So it's like this mythical fucking thing that I'm just supposed to go figure out. Cool. And you know, I'm not the type of person that can look in the mirror and be like, I love you Gabrielle, you're a fucking badass. 0 (28m 30s): Like if you can do that more power to you. But it felt very inauthentic to me. So I was looking for this whole self lo self-love question answer and I didn't find it on my trip. I found it when I came back, which is why it's written about in the epilogue of Eat Pray FML. And I came back from my trip, I got back to my mom's house because that's where you move when you're 28 and you get divorced and it was like I stepped off the carousel like everything stopped moving. I was now not in Europe going around meeting all these people, having these experiences like dealing with all these feelings. I was back at home getting divorced at my mother's house and it was like whew, okay. 0 (29m 15s): And I fell into probably one of the biggest depressions that I've ever experienced and in the process of trying to pull myself out of that I discovered what it meant to love myself. So for me, I call it the self-love cocktail obviously because you have to equate it to something fun. And I was so depressed that I was like okay, I'm gonna sit down and write a list of things that I can give myself every day that make me feel better. Like things that I don't need anybody else for. And for me that list was like creating dancing, meditating, going to the gym, eating healthy like shit that I could do every single day that made me feel better either in the moment or you know, obviously I'm not like loving going to the gym sweating, but I knew it was gonna make me feel better in the long run. 0 (30m 4s): So I would put that list on my mirror and I'd be like, okay, I'm gonna do one of these things every single day and then I can get back in bed and like eat my snacks and watch my Netflix and be sad about my life. And I consistently started to do that. And then I would be like, okay, I'm gonna do two things today and then I can get back in bed. And then it was three things and I didn't feel like I needed to get back in bed. And it kept going and building and building and I started feeling so much better and pulling myself out of this depression because I was unknowingly loving myself. And When you realize that loving yourself is as simple as giving your soul the things it loves and the things that's gonna make you feel better. It was a complete perspective shift for me and it totally changed because now it was a checklist of things that I could actively do that I didn't need other people for. 0 (30m 52s): It wasn't this like weird, I need to look in the mirror and tell myself I love myself. It was like no, if I wanna show a significant other or a family member or a friend that I love them, I am going to do things that make them experience love. So when I'm looking to give myself love, why would I not use that same practice? 2 (31m 14s): Those are great pieces of advice cuz people really are looking for something actionable and it does, it does feel weird and inauthentic and almost like you're bullshitting When, you do those affirmations but, and I'm, I am with you sister, I have been there and that that has literally been my homework for the last six months with my spiritual teacher where he is that because I won't do it, I've done it like three times and he's like, what? Like what is your aversion to this? And I'm like, it just doesn't feel like it's doing anything. It doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel authentic. Like I feel like I'm a poser And he's like, and that's why you have to do it and like every single time you do it, like you're kind of chipping away a little bit and it will become right, it'll become where you don't have to say it where you can. 2 (32m 2s): And I think this is like the whole point, this is me kind of deducing it from my experience so far, which is where you do glance at yourself and there is just that radical Acceptance. Yes. And you don't need to do the acts of love because while I do agree that we want to show that our affection, our love and our caring, we do that through actions, through gifts, through time, spent all of these different modalities. I think once you get to the bigger picture of like what is love, what is unconditional love, what is union like that can be felt without anything that can be felt without communication. Like think about totally a friend who's like long distance and you haven't talked in six months, that love doesn't go anywhere and maybe you haven't acted upon it but it still exists and you're certain of it. 2 (32m 48s): And I think that that is, I think that's the end point. I'm certainly not there all the time. 0 (32m 55s): Totally. That's what, that's what you're, you're working towards right? And once you can get to that, it's such a, you feel such a peace within yourself. But I think where people get tripped up too about the whole like healing journey. Like I went on that trip and was like I have to fucking come back healed. Like this has to be the trip where I come back and I am fixed. And it's like what the fuck does that even mean? Yeah. You know, fixed for what capacity of your life. Like there are gonna be so many different times where you feel like you've taken 10 steps back. There are gonna be so many different experiences in your life where you're like, okay now I have to heal again. And that can be exhausting. So it's like you have to reframe it to not be like okay I have to cross a finish line. 0 (33m 42s): You just want to start taking care of yourself better. Whether that's through self-love or knowing your worth or setting boundaries, like whatever that is for you and the particular healing growth spurt that you're going on. It can't be like this epic finish line where you're like, I just wanna wake up and everything's gonna be perfect and fine and feeling better. Cuz that's not reality. It's always gonna be a process. Like healing is not linear in any sense of the word. 2 (34m 11s): No, it certainly isn't. I feel like very few things are in this existence when it co we, we touched a little bit on identifying with trauma, with mishaps, with wrongdoings, with healing. Like we kind of take on these pseudo identities a lot of the time. And I think that when I see a lot is that of The, Tortured, Artist, right? Like they're so scared that if they come to a moment of peace and bliss that they'll all of a sudden they'll lose their edge or they won't be successful enough. And it kind of coincides with your example that you gave with, and I see so many women, I don't know how many men this is true for, but so many women that are addicted to chaos so much so that when they do find peace within a relationship they find true love, like true steadiness. 2 (34m 59s): Like this is dull, this is boring. Cause they're mistaking that for love. They're mistaking that, that chaos for romance. 0 (35m 6s): That was exactly what I went through with my current husband before I like figured my shit out. 2 (35m 11s): So how do you, how do you distinguish between that? How do you prevent yourself from identifying that, especially in a position that you are in where you're public facing and you kind of, at least at this chapter of your life, you're reliving a lot of this stuff. So how do you get into a position where you are reliving it but you're not gonna succumb to that Tortured artist trap? 0 (35m 34s): Yeah, that's such a good question. I think, and I've, I've experienced a lot of this on, well I won't say a lot like on TikTok, you know, I get probably 90% is just positive support love. And then there's the 10%, five of which are like just like troll men on the internet that like are living in their parents' basement and the other five are like women that I'm clearly triggering something in them. But the one comment that I see a lot is like, God can't you just move on and like forget about your ex-husband and stop talking about this story. And there's two sides to that coin. 0 (36m 15s): One it's like, no I'm on TikTok to like sell books and like it's a marketing strategy. So there's that. The other side of the coin is I can laugh and I can talk about this until the fucking cows come home because I'm healed from it. Right? Like it, there's no like reopening old wounds. There's no like I could sit down with either of my exes and have a long lunch and be like, yo dude, like crazy shit. What the fuck happened? Let's talk about it. Like what was it like for you on your side? Cuz I'm that disconnected from it. They, both of them truly feel like characters in a story for me now. 0 (36m 60s): Javier took a a longer time for me to get there than my ex-husband did, my ex-husband. It was pretty instantaneous. But it, it really, I feel is a testament to how much work I've put in and how much growth I've done as far as like leaning into The, Tortured, Artist cuz like I know there's so many times where people are like, God can Adele just get her heart broken again because like the record that comes after that is gonna be fucking amazing. Which is so Fucked up and so sad. But like I also, I get it, but I think now it's just about owning where you're at in the moment. So like, yes, my first book, I wrote it in three months flat because I was like dealing with so much shit I just needed to dump it out. 0 (37m 45s): Like it had to flow out of me. The second book took probably like eight to nine months for me to complete because I was in a very happy, stable relationship going back and kind of reopening a lot of stuff and getting that you know, was a little more difficult. And now people are like, when's the third book? When's the third book? And I'm like, guys, what? What do you want me to write? Like I'm happy we got married, we're having a baby, everything's fucking phenomenal. Like I gotta live a little bit more life first before I can do that. But I think whenever you've gone through like the trauma or the incidences or the shit When, you can honor it in a way that you know it's part of your story but You don't have to go back into the hysteria of it, you know, and look for some people that's gonna take more time and more healing. 0 (38m 44s): And for those people that always make those comments of like, why can't you just let it go? Why do you keep talking about it on, you know, on online? I think that's bringing up something in them that's being triggered. Like why, why are they being triggered that I can't talk about an experience from a very disconnected standpoint, whether it's for marketing or for other people to heal or whatever it's for. Like what is that triggering within you? 2 (39m 12s): What is The Role of Forgiveness in all in all of this and in healing and in Heartbreak and in trauma, 0 (39m 21s): This is such a hot topic for people. I did an episode on my podcast like way back in season one on Forgiveness and people either go back and listen to it religiously or they're like, fuck you Gabrielle. Like I don't have to forgive anybody. And you don't, you don't have to forgive every anyone that you don't want to. However, it is my belief that not forgiving someone only hurts you. And it goes back to what we were talking about earlier, that when you're walking around in a certain type of energy, you are going to attract that energy into your life. You don't forgive people for them. Doesn't matter if they deserve it doesn't matter like how long it's been. 0 (40m 4s): Like you forgive people because you want to elevate yourself and you want to to be vibrating on a higher level to attract and manifest the good shit you deserve into your life. And if you're walking around hating someone and cursing someone, you're not doing that. So for me it was never a question of like forgiving the people who have wronged me. Like, you know, and there's different levels of that. Like I had to do work forgiving my dad because like obviously he didn't mean to die, but like he still left me like there, the the six year old little girl in me was like, no, yeah, like that there's like a big wound there. 0 (40m 45s): Had to forgive my ex-husband for, you know, the stuff he did within our marriage, the, the actions he took after the book became successful to try and hurt me. Like all of that I've had to just completely let go of. And did he necessarily deserve that? No. He quite frankly is a piece of shit human but me walking around like feeling that hate and Being like screw him like he's an asshole. It's not affecting him at all. It's only bringing my vibration down and like I care about myself way too much to allow hate to make me come down on a vibrational level. 2 (41m 28s): Yeah, there's that quote, I, it's an American famous American author and his name is escaping me right now. I've not been sleeping in the last few days so my memory is not as sharp and I like can't pull my library cards as mu as easily as I typically can. But it's that a anger is an acid that does more damage to the vessel than it does what it's pour poured upon. Mm. And I truly believe that, I think it's the same with with jealousy. Cause I think jealousy and anger are very closely tied. So the idea that someone, you're like, I'm not gonna forgive them, you have no idea what they did. I was like, I have literally witnessed some people that have gone through the worst travesties and they have forgiven that person. Like, like yeah, one of my really good friends, her name's Candace mama and she's about to do her second appearance on my podcast and I just adore this woman so much. 2 (42m 16s): She was living in an apartheid state in Africa and this man had murdered her father, like murdered him very violently. And after the arraignment and after the trial, like she hugged him and she was like, I forgive you, like I love and she got to love like, you know what I mean? Like true embrace with this man and there's not much worse that we can do to another human right than taking their life. Like that's pretty fucking intense. And she, I'm sure it wasn't easy for her and she's talked publicly about this a lot, but it's always possible and you are holding onto that. Like you will get, start getting sick, you can start gaining weight, you'll start noticing that like your life starts getting very dark and you, like you said, you deserve so much more than that. 2 (43m 5s): So it's not about the other person at all. Although it can be like if you want to get, if you want to really see how far you can push this thing, like can I get to love with the person that has done the worst thing to me? I'm like what a beautiful gift. What a beautiful superpower that you can have. So yeah, I see this movement for like unforgiveness, right? And it's like I'm the strong woman, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have my boundary. That's not a boundary. Like that's a delusion. 0 (43m 30s): Yeah and there's, there's a way to have boundaries and Forgiveness at the same time. 2 (43m 35s): Absolutely. Like 0 (43m 36s): You don't have to reach out to the person and be like, Hey I'd love to take you out for tea. You know, like it doesn't, it doesn't have to go that far. As long as you are not walking around with hate in your heart and shit clogging down your energy, that's all that we're aiming for. God bless that woman for being able to do that, that's huge. But you're absolutely right. Like if you look at the word disease, it's dis-ease. So When, you have dis-ease within yourself, within your heart, within your spirit. You will eventually create disease within yourself. Absolutely. You gonna get, get sick, you are gonna like, it's not going to be a good situation for you whether that happens soon or 20 years down the road. 0 (44m 23s): Like don't allow it to tank your energy because someone wronged you. And I did this one episode on the podcast that really like allowed me to tap into like having things make sense a little more. And it was with this spiritual guide who basically like talks about soul contracts a lot and she, the way she described it was like, okay, so everybody's up there like where whatever you believe, like heaven, the universe, whatever, we're all up there before we come down to this, like this life, this body and we have this kind of set path of the the things we're gonna learn, what we're gonna do, the stories that we're gonna write, the lessons we're gonna, you know, and the people that are up there like okay I need this person to be this, this villain in my story. 0 (45m 14s): And the people up there are like, okay, I'll do that for you in this life. And it's usually the people that love you the most that are going to be willing to take that role on because it's such a shitty heavy role and they wanna like help you learn that lesson and you're like, okay great. And you're like, ooh and I have to learn this lesson this time around. And someone's like, I'll do that for you. And you all get on a bus and you come down here and forget that the plan was ever made and then all of this stuff starts happening and if you can look at the people in your life, like your life that I had a sole contract with my dad that he had to leave at that age because it was going to set me on this path to learning this huge life lesson of abandonment that I needed to learn because of whatever happened in a previous life. 0 (45m 59s): Sorry, I know we're gonna go a little woo woo guys, but 2 (46m 2s): My audience is used to it. You're a good company. Great. 0 (46m 5s): Love it. Yeah. And you know, and that like my ex-husband, like that he was the person that came in to like really set me off on, on this like different path and that Javier came in to be like, blow up my world and send me to Europe by myself. I would've never ended up on that trip without those two things happening in that domino effect. So When, you can look at the people that have hurt you and be like, yeah it sucks and it was horrible and like there was trauma because of it or like whatever the fallout is. But it, it happened because I needed to learn the lessons and thank God that those people chose to come forward and help me learn that and be that teacher for me it kind of gives you a little bit more peace in the Fucked up shit that happens in our life. 2 (46m 57s): Hmm. Yeah. And I think a really good gauge as to if you've gotten to that place of Forgiveness and if you've truly like transcended that experience is kind of, it's that visceral effect, right? Like your gut will tell you like you'll the topic or the person will come up and you'll be like, you won't be queasy anymore. Your heart won't get collapsed onto itself. You'll be like, oh this is fine. But if you still have your body giving you that signature, then I feel like you have to keep revisiting it to do the full release. And I think where that gets super important, I mean it's important for everyone cuz like we talked it, it can create illness and disease and it has a whole bunch of negative consequences. 2 (47m 38s): But I think especially for women espe, if you're planning on having kids or if you're currently pregnant, it's like all of that gets like the baby is so tuned in, you are one, you know that whole nine, 10 months you are one being you are share like some native Americans have this word, like they don't even, I feel like they don't call, there's a specific word for the mother and baby because neither of them have their own word for like the first three months even after the baby comes out because they believe that they're tethered together. It's just one unified soul. So do it for your kids, do it for your kids kids. Because now what we're learning with epigenetics and how that can pass down like even seven generations, it's like that pain will be felt until someone's willing to feel it. 2 (48m 21s): It'll or it'll continue until someone's willing to to heal it. So yeah. Yeah, I think you gotta forgive and 0 (48m 27s): It's, I think there's so much stuff that's coming out now in the spiritual realm around generational trauma and how that affects, like my mom for example, she's a clairvoyant channel, so she does a lot of work with energy and clearing subconscious beliefs and there'll be times where we'll sit down and she'll be like, okay, this is something you picked up in the womb and it's like, what the fuck dude? Like to think about the fact that in so young, before we even have memories of any kind that like, this is where we picked up this subconscious belief that has been running our life for God knows how long and this is something we need to fix. And you wanna take responsibility for those things so that they, the cycles are broken so that we're not passing them down. 0 (49m 8s): Like there's things, you know, my mother is, as far as parents go, like pretty fucking saint worthy. I mean I know we all fuck our kids up at some point, but like for all, you know, intents and purposes, like she's up there with the best of them and even I can sit there and be like, oh, this thing that I watched her struggle with or go through, I adopted that at some point and I need to break that and let that go. So there's always like Patterns that you can look back and be like, okay, what do I need to look at doing some Forgiveness work around, even if it wasn't your trauma that incurred, even if it was something that happened before, you know you were here. 2 (49m 49s): Yeah. And they, I mean there are studies everywhere, like one really interesting one, the mean you again, like we're talking about it, woo. But to bring it back more to science that's maybe easier for some people to understand is moms that were pregnant during nine 11 and I think specifically up in like the upstate and like the in towards the city region, they're babies that were about to get delivered all of a sudden were breached. Like they flipped themselves. Wow. So they went head up because they were like, it's not safe to come out yet. 0 (50m 17s): Wow. 2 (50m 18s): Like they're so in tuned, they've had studies with mice and they, they kind of associated the smell of cherry blossoms to like a physical pain. And they would pair it together, pair it together, pair it together, eventually get rid of the, the pain stimulus and just show the cherry blossom scent. And then that would trigger like a response within the mouse. They had the mice had litters and then the pups had a response to the fragrance fra fragrance. No. So it's like this stuff gets passed on, like it's kind of indisputable, like there's just so much overwhelming evidence. So it's, it's, it sounds crazy, but so much of our internal environment is passed on. 0 (51m 2s): Yeah, absolutely. Like it's kind of irrefutable When, you look at like all the studies that have been done. And I think it, it works on a, a spiritual side and a scientific side. Like, it, it, it all makes sense in the bigger picture of what we end up dealing with throughout our lives as humans. 2 (51m 20s): One of the things I was really curious about, so you had mentioned on previous podcasts that you had this relationship with your body and you had like eating disorders in the past and this kind of ties back into self-love and getting this reframe of self-acceptance and just like a different perspective. How has that been with Pregnancy? Because that is such a struggle for a lot of women who haven't gotten pregnant yet and it is one of the aversions, they're like, I don't wanna get pregnant because I don't want to lose my body. And to me on the other side of having two kids, it's just asinine that you're giving yourself that kind of perspective. But I'm curious, how has Pregnancy shifted that relationship with your body? 0 (52m 2s): Yeah, so I struggled with bulimia throughout high school on and off and then in my early twenties and not to a point, which is gonna sound so bad saying this, but not to a point where it would've been categorized as like detrimental. Although like anything you're doing to your body in that form, like is obviously affecting you in a negative way but like on the scale, if like a therapist was looking at it like, what is considered really bad? I was not on that end of it, but it was very clear to me that it was a problem and it was really centered around control. It would flare up whenever I felt out of control. 0 (52m 44s): And I had worked really hard to get to a more consistent place like in my later twenties and early thirties to where it was non-existent anymore. But I don't feel like just because you're not physically doing an act doesn't mean that there's not still effects of it that live in your body or in your brain. I also grew up in Los Angeles in the film industry where like everyone has to be a certain size and like if you are not, there's 12 other blondes that will come in and take your spot. So it was always kind of like, there was always a focus on physical appearance and weight. For me growing up, not from like my family or anything, but just in my environment and like the industries that I was around and a part of and I have to say when I knew I was getting pregnant, I had a lot of fear around how my body was gonna change and how that was gonna make me feel. 0 (53m 43s): It surprised me that when my body did start to change, I didn't go into like the spiral of like, oh my god, you know, feeling not okay in my own skin. Cuz I thought I was going to like, I was like bracing for impact that this was gonna be like a fucking shit show. That being said, I'm two months away from giving birth. I don't know how I will feel after the baby is out. That will probably be a different conversation of like that journey to getting back to feeling like myself. But it wasn't until the past, like honestly five days where cuz I was fine with the belly happening. I felt like my, my hips were getting wider. Like, but I still felt kind of cute. 0 (54m 25s): Like I was like, all right, I can get into the hole. Like I'm pregnant. Like it's a belly. It's cute. The past five days or so, my face has started to see the effects of it and for me that's what's been the most triggering because even like when I was dealing with like how my weight would fluctuate in my younger years, like when I would get to a not good place, it's when I could see it in my face. So now when I'm like looking at myself, like doing interviews or in the mirror, like it's a little triggering and I'm like trying to recognize it and be like, okay, it's just a moment in time. Like even if it's for the next two months, that's a blip on the radar. 0 (55m 6s): You know, like really like talking myself through it. But being compassionate with yourself, you know, especially if you come from an eating disorder pass, like when there's gonna be triggers that come up, like not trying to be like, oh it's fine, not a big deal. It is a big deal. Like you're, you're being plugged into things that used to make you really uncomfortable, uncomfortable enough to hurt yourself and hurt your body. So I think for me it's been a constant just practice of self-love and Being. Like, you know, thank God that my body is able to do this. Like what a magical thing that it's experiencing and still giving myself the credit's not the right word, still allowing myself the space to be like, and I'm super fucking uncomfortable with what I'm seeing in the mirror at sometimes and that's okay. 0 (55m 56s): You know, like being compassionate with myself in that sense and not trying to stuff those feelings down, but like letting them come out being like, okay, here's your space for them and now we're gonna let it go and go grow a baby. 2 (56m 11s): Yeah. For me it's, it's kind of this honesty check as to where you are with, with your self-love, with your self-acceptance. Like, do you truly love yourself? Do you truly accept yourself or is it based on a whole bunch of conditions? Because we love to apply conditions to everything and I only love myself as long as I weigh this. I only love myself as long as I don't have stretch marks. I only love myself if I'm gonna bounce back and be able to post on Instagram. Right? We put those conditions on ourself and that's like, that's not love because is that how much you're gonna love your baby? Right? Is only if they have these certain boxes checked off or do you love them wholly flaws and all, and like I say, flaws with air quotes. Like, do you love them wholly, right. 2 (56m 51s): Or is it, or is it conditional? And you have to ha be able to be honest I guess because for me it was this, it's the same way. Like I've had two now and I feel like the first one was a lot easier because I was told I couldn't have kids. So the fact that I got pregnant, I was elated, I was like, holy shit, I knew like I made this happen and what a blessing. And like there is no better than what I'm experiencing. Like although feet swelling, whatever, so fucking excited take, there's a baby in my belly, you'll take it's great. Yeah, the aches. I'm like, thank God that you know, big belly, big happy baby. And so like just utter Acceptance and love for the entire experience. 2 (57m 32s): And then the second one, I think maybe I was like, oh, well I, you know, now I can have babies. So a little bit of that appreciation wasn't at the same level as the first. So when I didn't lose the weight as fast or I got extra stretch marks, I was a lot harder on myself and I had a lot more of that self-deprecating inner dialogue and it's like, okay, well is this the, is this really my ceiling of self-love is so, so long as like my butt needs to come back up, right? And like all of these things I'm like, that's not self-love, that's all all conditional. So it's a work in progress and it's just radical honesty with yourself and you're like, okay, this is an opportunity to grow and to really like lean into that discomfort and say, if I look in the mirror and I'm totally different person, like I met, there's this exercise, I wanna say it's Michael Singer, the guy that wrote the Untethered Soul, or it's David Singer. 2 (58m 20s): I always mess up his name. It's a great book. Yeah. Yeah. His, it's in his sequel to that, I think it's living untethered. But he's like, you, you go into the mirror and imagine that like you're the opposite sex, right? So like you are so fundamentally different on the outside, are you still you? And that is such a mindfuck because we identify so much with our body and I think what a powerful tool because our bodies are going to break down like they degrade slowly over time. And especially if you're a beautiful woman, I think that could be really hard, right? Aging can be really hard and like seeing the wrinkles and the, you know, the texture and all of these things. 2 (59m 2s): And if you can get to this place with I am not my body, right? Like my soul is not my body. This is simply a vessel to be able to experience this world. Then how much easier that is to get to self-love. So as like a, you know, you start sagging and whatever, it's, it's not going to affect your day. It's not gonna affect your ability to love, love yourself or love someone else. 0 (59m 23s): Yeah. 100%. That's, that's an incredible thing to think about the, the gender reversal. 2 (59m 31s): Whoa. Right. 0 (59m 32s): It's also so much easier said than done. So people that are listening to this, I'm sure they're like, okay, yeah, great. And until you see the gray hairs and the texture and the wrinkles, like it's, it's a lot easier said than done. I also think, you know, and this brings us back to what we were touching on earlier is like making sure you're keeping track of your thoughts and the words that you're speaking out. Like they're so powerful. Like the thoughts that you think about yourself if you're walking around being like, I'm so tired. I'm so tired, I'm so tired. Of course you're so fucking tired. You keep saying how tired you are and it's almost, and this is gonna come off interesting, but it's almost like you need to gaslight yourself at first. Like just When, you start thinking those negative thoughts about yourself, be like, mm, no, we're not gonna do that. 0 (1h 0m 14s): Actually I'm fucking so full of energy and I feel so great and I'm like loving life right now. Like when you're looking in the mirror and you're like, oh my face looks fat. It's like, no, I look fricking beautiful and I am a rockstar. Like whether or not you're consciously believing it, your brain can't tell the difference. So, so switch the thought and say the positive version of that thought and watch how your perspective starts to change over the days and the weeks. Like it's pretty crazy how quickly you can switch things around when you're just keeping track of your thoughts. 2 (1h 0m 48s): And what's really interesting too is they've done studies where if you smile, like let's say you're in the worst mood ever and you smile, it actually changes your neurochemistry Yep. In that moment. So all of a sudden you're telling your brain, oh we're gonna make happy hormones right now. We're not sad, we're not angry, we're not depressed. Like we're gonna start making happy hormones. So like even just changing your facial expression can have a huge impact and Absolutely. I feel like a lot of times too we get in this cycle, it's like we, wherever we are, if we're tired, if we're exhausted, if we're no energy, we're not feeling motivated, you're like kind of reinforcing that every single day. Just like from a chemical standpoint. So how can you go in there and interject and and kinda like take the off ramp to that? 2 (1h 1m 32s): So for me, when I was going through my postpartum journey, I was pretty much like su I was pretty depressed and pretty low energy and like low. Like I just, I didn't want to do anything, just like no want or desire for anything. And I got to a point where I'm, this is not working, I don't wanna feel like this. It's not working for me, it's not working for my family. And I kind of beat myself up internally and made myself just work out. I'm like, get out of bed, you're, I have one of those exercise mirrors, like those that you work out has all of your stuff. And I was like, it's right in the other room. Stop. Put the pity party, stop with like all of these excuses and just fucking do it. Like just fucking do it. And I did and then the moment I started moving my body was like, oh this is what we're doing. 2 (1h 2m 14s): Yeah. This is what we're feeling. And I started to come back to life. So it's whatever your road is to improvement, like whether it's in like a very soft, gentle, and nurturing way, that's probably best. Or if you take the path that I did and you're like, this is just enough. I've had enough and I need to do something else. Yeah. And you kind of like strong arm yourself to do something. It's like you could just have to get out of the pattern. As hard as that is, it's like break that ha that pattern and then everything else will start to shift. 0 (1h 2m 40s): Yeah. Self-love cocktail, like what are the things that are gonna make you feel better? Yes. To start fucking doing them one day at a time. Like whatever it takes that's gonna be the driving force to get you out of whatever you're feeling in right now. 2 (1h 2m 55s): Amen. So before we take off, this was incredible. Thank you so very much. Can you please tell the listeners where they can follow you, how they can support you and anything that you might be working on besides this beautiful baby right now? 0 (1h 3m 8s): Yes. Thank you so much for having me. This was such a lovely conversation and I'm such a fan of yours. So this was, this was great. I am on Instagram at Gabrielle Stone on TikTok at Gabrielle underscore Stone. The books are available exclusively on Amazon. The first one is Eat Pray FML. The sequel is the ridiculous mis Adventures of a Single Girl. You can also get both of them signed by me on my website, which is eat Pray FML dot com. I also have a self-love healing journal called Fuck Off I'm Healing, which is kind of a step-by-step guide of me walking you through undoing the trauma and bullshit that life throws at you in a very real and authentic way. And our podcast, which we have had Candace on, is FML Talk and it airs every Wednesday. 2 (1h 3m 50s): Awesome. Well thank you so much and go get some rest. 0 (1h 3m 54s): Thank you love. Appreciate it. 2 (1h 3m 57s): And that's it for this week's episode of Chatting with Candace. Before you go, if you want to share the content with a friend or two that you think that would like it and leave that five star review, I would greatly appreciate it and I'll see you next week. Thanks. Bye everybody.